middaeg | [Open] The Catch-all log, Alucard edition

Why did they demand that? [The matter can't be that life and death, can it? Alucard frowns at the mere idea that a Bond offers social leverage for something like this, and...ah. No. He and Trevor bonded because it gave Trevor a small measure of control. Very small.]

I meant the Cwyltid. Everything you remarked about earlier made it clear that the beasts of home wouldn't be very different but....

[They've come to it, it seems.]

How do you deal with uninfected Monsters here when your instinct is to hunt?

Safety, I believe. A Bonded Monster is less likely to go feral. A Bonded Witch is more powerful, and less likely to suffer a magical overload. Plus, it is a convenient way to check on each other. It made some amount of sense, but for as quickly as they established their foothold, it was ultimately unnecessary, I think.

[And she was only a little salty she didn't get to go back there. She doesn't get the chance to elaborate on the Cwyldtid thing, though, before he goes into the Monster thing. She pauses, another spoon of soup partially to her lips, and instead sets it back into the cup, sitting up straighter.] Most of my... instinct for it was stripped when I arrived here. [Though it's less an instinct, she thinks, and more sinister than that - it was a lust for blood and violence and killing borne of the interplay of human nature and the special Blood.

She lowers a hand and taps on the side of the soup bowl, lightly.] The... true struggle here has been to remind myself that though they are showing what we at home would consider signs of Beasthood, the end result will not be the same. That is to say, the most difficult part is trying not to see them as an immediate threat, and want to protect people from them.

I still don't understand how the matter balances as neatly as it seems to. It's...

[Never mind anything. Alucard is quiet, drinking his soup as Maria talks. Then she says instinct and Alucard's own words come tumbling out before he can stop them:] Mine was too.

[Fuck. Fuck, that was maybe too fast, but the more Maria speaks, the more something inside of Alucard just aches. The struggle she speaks of, it's what Trevor's going through, but his is compounded by becoming one of the things that his family swore to destroy. Alucard's own end has been decoupling the word witch from his mother's murder.

There's a weariness when he asks:] How do you train yourself to not think that way?

[She looks up at him for his outburst, but doesn't comment, perhaps wisely. Instead, she waits until he asks his question. The tapping on the side of her soup bowl becomes a brief drumming of all four fingers, while her thumb remains still, and then... she stops.]

... If I had a good answer for that, I would tell you. [A sigh. A lot... a lot has happened since she's been here.] It may help that I was among the first Mirrorbound to arrive here, so I have at least seen most of the Mirrorbound before they began their... transformations. Whether into a Monster or as the magic weaves its way into their beings from being a Witch.

[She rolls one of her hands over on the table, palm up in a sort of shrugging gesture.] It's... more difficult than it seems, with the madness of the full moon and what it can do to Unbonded Monsters especially. Time, I have found helps... becoming familiar with them... [Maybe starting to develop feelings, though she won't admit that one out loud, yet. That's still a very new and raw prospect to her. Especially since the strongest of those are toward a Monster that does not trigger her instincts to Hunt, so much as it does a condition closer to PTSD.] ... Ah, but don't threaten the Monsters on the network. There are many here who do not understand a Hunter's duty. [That. Might be a little bit of a joke to lighten the statement - she knows this from experience. Yes.]

I've always assumed that magic functions on logical rules, just as the natural world does. I've learned how wrong I am, but that instinct remains. [But God, Maria is an elder in terms of how long she's been here. All the more reason to listen.

They managed the first full moon, Trevor and Alucard. Barely, but all the same, it was managed.]

I wouldn't think of doing that. I...[No. Not himself. Focused elsewhere.] An associate of mine passed through the mirrors along with me. His family's profession is not unlike what yours was back home, and this placed has seen fit to label him Monster instead. [Alucard knows that it's dangerous, airing Trevor's problems to someone else but Maria's perspective is vital.]

That's the only reason I ask.

If it did, it would not have turned my blood back to fire. [Now what's more interesting about that statement: That it turns her blood into fire, or the word back. ]

You know, I find it strange every day that this place didn't deem it necessary to label me a Monster, either. There are a few that would have fit in an uncomfortable sort of way. [She shakes her head.] Still, I'm not sure I have a good answer. My only statement is that if the Hunt takes the form of melding with Beast instincts... then it will become a dangerous situation for all involved.

[And not the least of which means that Maria might be on his ass about it.]

[Oh, he has some follow up questions there, but the thrust of Maria's wisdom is much more important.]

I've been confused as to how the matters are assigned myself. My father was a vampire. To suddenly be otherwise is...[He trails off, because at least Maria is likely to understand. That is a novelty, and she is the first person outside of Trevor he's even said those words to.]

I'm...I can see how that could happen, as well as how it could be a problem. It's the worst part of the transformation nonsense, we can't even predict what it will be like and take preventative measures.

I don't think there's a rhyme or reason to it... or at least not one which can be fathomed easily. [Another of those strange situations. Honestly, Maria doesn't mind the Witch thing - they get off on the better foot, imminent death sentence that it is - and are generally treated better by the populace. That said, she still is kind of surprised by it. Not just for the Vileblood association with vampires, but also for the association in general of "hunters becoming that which they hunted eventually anyway".

She thinks about it, and then...]

Saying it is the only way is propaganda of a sort, but the Bond has been the most effective method I have seen for keeping the wilder instincts of the Monsters in check, and for keeping the Witches sane. They peddle alternatives, and perhaps there were other things that Monsters here have long since forgotten about, but I cannot deny the efficacy of it. The alternatives I've seen that rival that efficacy on a long-term scale... were you here for our little trip to Dorchacht?

No, I don't imagine it is. [Alucard resents that fact, but he understands how little research has been done. There's no time for it, not when fighting a war against nature itself.

Alucard takes the last of his soup down when Maria speaks of Dorchacht, nodding along quietly as she does so.]

I was not, I arrived just soon after. I've heard what was encountered there, and I can't say I've heard a description of a more nightmarish place than that. [Geralt had told him, all bluntness and honesty. Alucard nearly became sick from the full of it, because he can only imagine that life being imposed by humans on any and all night things back home. How he'd have grown up if that was the case. All the million what-ifs.]

It was... not the most pleasant excursion I've ever been on, by far, it's true. [She tilts her hand back up, because she is one of the few people that could stomach that whole place a lot better than others. Partially because she has a problem empathizing with most of the Monsters here, but also because she had more important things to worry about than a bunch of people she could not save the whole number of, even if she wanted to.] But they did have spells to keep the Monster's wilder instincts... and, in truth their whole minds, but... all of those things so muted as to be nonexistent. [She puts a finger down.]

I am not saying to take it to their extreme, [She'd probably be mad if someone did, in fact.] but there are spells that can be learned to tame the worst of it, I think, if you use a much more diluted form of what they had in Dorchacht, especially if it is combined atop something like a Bond. Or some kind of... sedation spells.

[She picks up her spoon again, finally, to get back to her soup.] But nonlethal means of dealing with wild Monsters are not my specialty. I can only say what I've seen.

The universal disgust for the place has been made very clear since I've arrived. [It's a matter Alucard agrees with, but no one knows how it intersects with his own sort of fears. Fears he didn't even know he had until he learned of what was done in Dorchacht.]

No. Anything that involves impacting one's mind even further is unacceptable and inhumane. Spells or medicine that dulls the senses. [He breathes out, closing his eyes for just a moment to process all of this.]

I've not seen enough to say much more though. [Alucard knows very well he's too green in this place.] Only to thank you for your perspective.

[She makes a sort of... motion. A bit of a roll of her shoulder that ends in her hand moving as though brushing something to the side.] Well, there's a sect of the Coven that will sedate a feral Monster if they're out causing trouble either way. I'm told it may be better to let them sleep it off and regain their senses than just putting a more full stop.

[Which is 100% what she threatened to do to every Monster here. It scared a few of them, gave her a few new murder pacts, so it made it as effective as it needed to be.

She doesn't care either way; if she's accosted, it may well end in a deadly sort of way.]

Well, you'll likely have plenty of time to find out. It's been half a year or so since I've been here. You get to learn the patterns relatively quickly. [She picks up the soup bowl and lifts it to her lips to sip down what's left in the bottom.]

Given how important they are to the tenous balance of things, it may be that the action is meant to help the overall goal. Especially if it is a temporary matter that can be addressed over a day or two.

[There's logic in the decision is what he's saying, as much as it clearly goes against Maria's own instincts. It would go against Trevor's too.

The words half a year get a headshake out of Alucard though. He doesn't want to be present for that long. That much he knows.]

Is it a pattern though, or a cycle that's unlikely to be broken?

That depends. There are those that have simply disappeared from this place, as mysteriously as we all appeared. But while the mirrors tend to... spit out people all at once, the way they trickle out is far less predictable, nor can it be guaranteed where they are going is something like home, and that they didn't wander off to the Wilde to get eaten or corrupted.

[She thumbs at a drop of soup on the corner of her lips, and then shakes her head.] We still need more information. Over the course of a life, six months is hardly a long time. Even less so in the lifespan of a whole world or a nation.

[It's too soon to say. Alucard can read between those lines, and while he does not visibly deflate, he feels just a little bit heavier in his heart for hoping for a direct answer.]

And this is a situation where even a lifetime of information doesn't helped. [The situation isn't exactly hopeless, but it is uninspiring at the moment.

There's nothing left in Alucard's bowl, and there's time yet alotted to them. With the threat of a conversational lull, he at least knows to show gratitude.]

Thank you for sharing all of this with me.

Of course. It's a truth that should probably be shared. [She sits up and seems to relax a bit in her seat, settling her hands on the edge of the table.] Not all truths are worth it, but this one is, I think.

What you decide to do with it is your choice, but if you find anything new... do share. There are many of us very curious about our circumstances here. So there are always those looking.

If is a rather bold vote of confidence, I think. [Alucard's tone isn't any lighter, but he seems to understand that as a compliment all the same. Or at least something close to one.]

And what are you doing, if not always looking?

You may stumble into it in the most unexpected of places, after all. That's what some others have done, even if they are not particularly clever otherwise. [Not that she doesn't think he is very clever, but some of the others here... yikes.]

... You're looking at most of it. I seek to help in the Wildes, to take on the dangerous contracts in the deepest and darkest places... [She huffs.] I have to keep myself busy somehow, or my restless energy gets to be a bit... much. [Gets worse because she keeps

not

Bonding.] I suppose if you really must know what I do when I'm not doing any of that, I have a very large garden I attend to.

[Restless energy. Alucard nods, he takes the meaning.]

It seems easier, out here. [Less complicated. Less nuance, because survival is the point.]

I'd love to see it some time. The garden, I mean.

If you wish, I live in the old aristocratic part of the section of Haven they set aside for the Mirrorbound. You cannot miss it, I've been told it can look a bit intimidating. [It's. It's a giant Haunted Mansion, honestly. Moreso given who lives there.] You'll have to tell the two Monsters that live there you're here to see me. They can be a bit snappy with people they don't recognize.

[A gentle understatement; the whole house is full of people with wonky moral compasses who think murder is actually a perfectly acceptable reaction to things.]

The garden is losing its color for the winter, however. It was rather spectacular in the summer, and I have greater plans for the coming seasons. [She's apparently in it for the long haul, though. She's making plans that far out.]

Then I'll have to make an effort to come by sooner rather than later.

[Alucard doesn't doubt the invitation's sincerity. Not in the least. There's also a very sly smile as Maria calls the place intimidating.]

And as for any intimidation, I am almost certain that the home where I grew up outstrips it's menace.

[There's a sudden yell beyond them both though, and that seems to indicate only one thing:]

I suspect that's the end of our break.

I don't see what makes people so afraid of it, so I have no doubts. [She has such a nice garden, and she even took down the turnip heads-on-pikes she had for decoration during October. If she thinks about it, she wouldn't call Cainhurst Castle very intimidating, from what she remembers of it. During the time of Bloodborne's game proper, certainly, but she doesn't know about the Executioners and their campaign against the Vilebloods, how the Castle is now filled with the sobbing of the ghosts of the residents, so much so it sounds like the very walls are grieving. Perhaps she would have a different opinion if she saw what became of it after she...]

Ah. I suppose that is so. I will look forward to it - and I'll let Kaede and Giorno know to potentially expect a guest. It will make things much easier.

Perhaps an expert eye could at least offer some insight.

[Alucard's smile is actually charming for once. Admitting that he's made a joke and enjoying it. The whole thing is novel given how he's reacted to the situation so far, and well. Maria feels like someone he could stand to spend more time around.]

I'll alert you when I intend to come over as well. No nasty surprises.

[Open] The Catch-all log, Alucard edition

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