Octeuril Catch All

[long_live_the_queen]

Who: Kaede and you! And people doing quests.
When: All month where convenient
Where: Within the City, The Slums, Outside the City
What: Another monthly thread container!
Warnings: Goose. Will update as needed.



I. Duck, duck...duck? [River Temese Bridge]

[One of the bridge's occupants doesn't seem interested in an argument, at least for the moment. Nor the lanterns, nor the decorations. No, Kaede's leaned over the rail and staring over the side, her scarlet feathered tail lashing in agitation behind her. She isn't being too mindful of where it's going, and smacking people in the ankles with it is a very real possibility. There's a stiff core to the tail, under all the fluffy feather.

Get close enough—an easier proposition this time, as she's distracted—and one can hear her mildly distressed muttering.]

...those ducks have shells on them.

[What the fuck. How long have they been this way. How long has this been happening.

This is messing her up.]

II. Garden Troubles [Slums]

[Seeing a garden—one that wasn't a mess of weeds, or a vandalized sunflower field—was nostalgic, in a way. As was...seeing parts of it all torn up. At least the pawprints around kept it from reminding her too much of that.

Kaede had split up—the better to flush the wolves out of whatever burrow they were hiding in. She could be quiet when she wished, her senses were sharp despite the rain, and she could get into places someone more human-shaped couldn't.

Something rustled the plants in a row nearby, and Kaede stilled. She couldn't see through to the other side—there was a heavily laden trellis in the way—but she could pinpoint the sound quite easily. The Chimera gathered herself, coiling her legs and back like a cat about to pounce, and sprang up, almost ten feet up, until she could clear the trellis and come back down on the sound.

...and, hopefully, what was rustling on the other side of the trellis was one of the creatures they were after, and not a person. That would just be dreadfully inconvenient, wouldn't it.

At least the Chimera's on the smaller side.]

III. honk [Outside the City]

[Kaede didn't choose this quest. It chose her, with a yank on her tail. And a sharp pain from a few of her feathers coming away, but mostly from the sheer indignity of it. The Chimera roars—a proper one, not a grumbly mumble—and whirls about, but the culprit was already dashing away down the dirt road, a few of her scarlet feathers clutched in a clawed hand.

The goose-feathered Harpy finds this all quite hilarious, shrieking with laughter as he dashes off, the Chimera hot on his heels. He's quite fast, though, even without flying. The Harpy occasionally makes a few fluttering hops when she gets too close, but he doesn't take off.

Occasionally, Kaede's chased the Harpy up onto some building—a barn, a cottage, a stable—and is sitting crouched at the bottom, tail lashing like a frustrated cat. The Harpy looked fairly smug up there.

Sometimes Kaede doesn't make it that far, though. Her knees had been prone to aching lately, sometimes going a bit numb. And this time they crumpled entirely, sending the Chimera toppling facefirst into the road. It wasn't raining today, but the ground was still plenty damp—and mud got on her clothes and once-bright feathers immediately. Kaede tried to get back up, but only pins and needles answered where her legs should have been.

Worst of all, the Harpy was impossibly far away down the road now. His off-white feathers were mockingly bright against the fading summer colors.]

Get back here you little shit—

[Kaede's opinions were intact! She'll probably live. After she gets back up.]

Wildcard

[For prompts or closed threads not seen here! My plotting post is here for ease of use. ]

Comments

[beariot]

I know, I know... [ Chariot hummed in response, nuzzling in deeper, tucking her nose against Kaede's neck and just breathing in her scent, letting it sooth over her. ]

But I think you'd be worried yourself if I didn't worry at all, right? [ Another light chuckle, her words low and soft. She didn't get to be nearly so intimate like this with Kaede as often as she got to be with Fang. It was something of a treat, with the often prickly and stoic chimera. ]

[long_live_the_queen]

[It tickled. Kaede allowed herself a few rumbles that sounded, almost, like laughter. Her embrace squeezed tighter, briefly and slight, mindful of her strength.]

I suppose so.

[There were times, quiet and isolated ones, where Kaede wondered if someone would care for her the same way Chariot and Fang cared for each other.

She had her answer now. There was no one to see them, no one to use Kaede's weakness against her. And she knew, in a way that ran deeper than thought, that she could trust Chariot, through the Bond's bare honesty.

It was easier to acknowledge this time, and easier to keep her other thoughts still.]

[beariot]

[ That stillness allowed affection to blossom even further. For Chariot, it was never, ever easy to be openly intimate like this, always second guessing herself and feeling deeply self-conscious about everything she thought or did. Fang and Ramesses excelled in allowing it to be drawn out of her, allowing her to "shine" in the small ways she was comfortable, in private moments...

Private moments like these. She had never been certain if Kaede thought of her the same way those two did, but she could feel that calm warmth inside of her bonded, distinct but not dissimilar to Fang's. In that quiet, she could hear it most clearly, and her own heart beat in turn, blood flowing into her face and creating a blush that flowed from cheek to neck.

Slate blue hair shifted, quietly, slowly, to a brilliant vermilion that reflected the firelight beside them. Without thinking, she'd reached for one of Kaede's hands, giving it a gentle squeeze. ]

Kaede... [ Her voice wasn't a whisper, but it was so soft it barely sounded above the crackle of the fire. ]

I guess what I'm saying is... I worry because I love you.

[long_live_the_queen]

[This close, Kaede could hear every breath, every beat of the Witch's heart--how it picked up as Chariot's hair began to change color, blue to fire-bright scarlet.

And this close, hearing the other woman's voice was a foregone conclusion. An ear flicked when she heard her name, and Kaede's hand curled slowly against the softer fingers pressing against it. And then--

If Chariot listened very closely in turn, she could hear Kaede's brain short circuiting.]

You--me?

[Her voice came in fits and starts as a half dozen thoughts tried to happen at once. Surprise was first, then confusion, then something flustered and squiggly that made her shiver a little bit.]

Why?

[beariot]

[ At first she was worried... that she'd taken things too far, that she'd crossed some sacred boundary, but the truth was, they'd need to have this conversation eventually and Chariot was especially poor at hiding the truth of her feelings over the bond, not that she tried that much, so Kaede would have found out eventually, one way or another, so...

Her other hand lifted to Kaede's cheek, gently resting over her jaw as she shifted around to look at her more directly, her own eyes catching the flickering flames just slightly to the side of them. ]

You don't need me to tell you... you can feel it. After everything we've been through, what we've felt over the bond...

[long_live_the_queen]

[Chariot had found a soft, vulnerable spot under Kaede's heavy, isolating armor. Like something unused to contact suddenly exposed to light, she shivered again, and blinked again.

Her cheek grew warm under Chariot's hand, her heart beating louder and faster; surely even the Witch could hear it. Like on the night before they Bonded, Chariot had found a well of restrained, repressed emotion, and was pressing gently on the floodgates.]

I'm...I'm not worth all that.

[But her claws nevertheless curled fitfully in Chariot's shirt. She didn't want her to leave.

She'd forgotten what it was like to be alone. What was once all she'd known was a terrifying prospect, now. She'd seen the lights on in the house, walked in through the door--she couldn't go back to the forest now. Not without all too familiar misery and regret following her steps.]

[beariot]

[ It was the loudest thing Chariot had felt about Kaede. Her loneliness, her longing to feel like she was a part of something, to be lead out of the darkness she'd cloaked herself within. For Chariot's own part, she'd been surprised just how easily she'd slipped into that role, to be the 'shine' that guided Kaede's way. With how far Kaede had come along, how much she'd grown to care for her and find her heart beat for her, she could see just how much of a keen impact Ramesses influence had been on her, on bringing out that 'shine' when she was so prone to letting it be tucked away within her own darkness...

For as long as Chariot could help to do so, she would never stop 'shining' for Kaede, to surround her within that love she'd found for the girl. It was a unique love, distinct from what she felt for Fang just as that was distinct from what she felt for Ramesses, and for Croix back home, but it was love none the less, and she knew its name now. She had no trouble speaking it... or assuring Kaede that she was worthy of it.

She did so not with a word, but a feather light, tender kiss just at the edge of Kaede's lips, humming as she did so, and nuzzling against her just afterwards, projecting all of those emotions over the bond, not wasting time with words she'd just stumble over anyways. She wanted to show Kaede she was worthy of it, she'd have that love, and it would never leave her...

This love was Home for them. ]

[long_live_the_queen]

[It wasn't pressure that made the dam burst. It was Kaede. Herself, and the endless comforting warmth from Chariot that filled her mind, surrounded her like the softest blanket, and rendered the world around them distant and featureless. Her wavering grip on all those tamped down, frivolous, unimportant feelings slipped--and they all burst forth, chaotic and raw, ugly and untended. Affection, too--it hadn't gone anywhere, for years and years where she wouldn't--couldn't--express it. Now it was all spilling out at once, warm and bright, swarming to the touch of someone who offered her the comfort she'd rarely known but always sought. It came muddled with other things; excitement and worry, wonder and dread. Even hope, quiet and small, that she might, just might, not be alone anymore.

This was Home. This was safe. Kaede felt Chariot's lips brush her own, their foreheads touch together, almost as an afterthought. The emotions roiling through the Bond had beaten them to it.

...but there were less pleasant things tumbled in with the rest, too, unresolved and painful.

Guilt, wretched, chest-hollowing guilt set its claws in her and pulled her back. She was tricking Chariot, the terrible thing Kaede was. She was a killer, as simple and awful as that. She couldn't keep promises. She'd torn families apart for the sake of childish spite and twisted vengeance. She'd ruined what could have been home before, and still carried that regret with her no matter how many times she wished for a clean slate. That past had burnt away irreparably and there was no returning.

There was no guarantee she wouldn't do it again.

She held Chariot close, and despised herself for it.]

But I'm--not...

[Her voice quivered like the rest of her had been, breath hitching with a half-formed sob.]

I'm a...bad person.

[Warm dampness traced down her face; her eyes were pinched closed, but she knew she was crying.]

[beariot]

[ Chariot didn't hesitate to kiss away those tears, both hands cradling Kaede's face now, thumb gently stroking her cheek. She whispered, still, as she settled against the girl, feeling every bit of that darkness inside of her, that guilt that felt well too similar to her own. Truth be told, Chariot hadn't carried out acts near the scale Kaede had, but that didn't make Kaede's guilt less valid. She didn't know what Kaede had done... she just knew it was something horrible, and had left this girl feeling like she didn't deserve love at all... ]

You're a person who made bad decisions... [ Chariot's words were so quiet, just for Kaede, not platitudes but her true, honest feelings. ] So am I...

But I've felt the real you, the you that's lonely, that wants and deserves to be loved, to give you another chance...

Don't push that version of you away, please... I can't forgive you on other people's behalf but I can at least give you a place to learn to forgive yourself...

You and Fang have both done that for me, already.

[long_live_the_queen]

[Kaede's breath hitched with another sob, just as stifled as the one before. But--Chariot was even closer to her, now, if that was possible. Stroking her face, kissing away her shame. If Kaede stirred too much, the other woman might pull away, and...that was something just as unfathomably awful as her learning the truth.

There was no judgment in the Bond, no horror. No fear of what Kaede was. Only warmth, and love, and acceptance most of all.

The Chimera opened her eyes, bleary and hazed with restrained tears as they were.]

I can't...I can't promise that.

[Forgiveness was something earned, and something Kaede couldn't--shouldn't, expect. Not now, not from Kouta, or Yuka, Mayu--anyone. She was dead. Dead people didn't have a say in things anymore.

...here, though, things were different. Kaede could still grow, still change, still...exist, here. Her other, childish...stupid, but happy self could exist here, too.]

[beariot]

You don't have to.

[ Chariot didn't like the idea of making promises that profound in a world that was none of theirs. She didn't want Kaede to feel burdened with an expectation to heal from the person she once was. But she wanted to leave that opportunity for her, show her her own willingness and patience to know the darkness inside of her, accept it, and let her own shine reflect upon it, and show Kaede it could be grown from.

This was another life, a new chance for her to be someone who could be loved like this. Things were different here... and she wanted Kaede to know that in every way possible. ]

No matter what happens from now, how you choose to regard yourself, I'll still love you. That much I can be sure of.

[long_live_the_queen]

[The comfort and the warmth never faltered, even in the face of Kaede's reluctance, of her casting about to find some reason, any reason, she couldn't accept the affection offered to her.

She found none.]

I...

[Her voice broke up, and Kaede leaned against Chariot's warmth for...for what? Comfort? Reassurance?

Both were already here, freely given. All she had to do was accept them.

Kaede curled her stretched and monstrous arms even more tightly around Chariot's shoulders, refusing to let go--closing her hands around the promise of stability in a cruel, unfair world.]

Thank...you.

[It took her awhile to say, awhile for her voice to stop wavering and breaking apart.]

[beariot]

[ Chariot didn't particularly think she deserved to be thanked for what she was doing, but she felt all of that gratitude could be expressed, regardless, through both the Bond and her new confidence in being physically affectionate with Kaede. She'd learned so much through her experiences with Ramesses and Fang... she could say 'you're welcome' with a kiss, this time directly over Kaede's lips, letting it linger, a moment of true and painfully honest tenderness between them both, reinforcing just how real her love for Kaede was. ]

[long_live_the_queen]

[Kaede could feel the warmth of Chariot's breath on her cheek; despite how blurry her vision still was, she knew where her Bonded was. When her lips brushed Kaede's own, they lingered this time, and she didn't flinch away from the contact. Kisses had always been bittersweet, fleeting things before. This was different. Chariot was different.

But knowing, feeling that openness, that vulnerability she felt went both ways did much to soothe Kaede's fears. She wasn't so abnormal, she wasn't as broken as she thought. There were still dozens of things wrong with her. But that moment of solidarity with Chariot reminded her that she was still human. Not just a monster, not just a killer. Someone loved her, for better or worse.

The anguish in Kaede's mind began to fade, the messy tangle of thoughts and emotion smoothing out into something quieter, not the crashing waves of before.]