because he’s not interested in himself. perhaps waver is, but to flat that is already water under the bridge. he almost died, but survived. perhaps if waver had meant to do what he did, it’d be a different subject, but that was not the case.
he shrugs off the comment, and pushes on. ]
You’re so lucky, you know? Seeing him is like his biggest dream, but look at you! You did it before even turning 25! I never imagined he’d be so huge either. Is that your type?
[ Waver's jaw tightens, his shoulders tense as he leans back with the mug in his lap. His fingers curl around either side, hard. ]
Of course I know.
[ He snaps, but it's not the same shallow anger from before. His eyes and voice are steady, and absolutely serious. He even ignores the question about his 'type.' ]
Do you really think I don't understand how lucky I am? How impossible this situation is?
I assure you, I'm not making light of it.
[ Imagining living the rest of his life trying to follow Iskandar without him there, never being able to reach him, preserving his memory and his dream and hoping to be together again one day... Waver had been ready to accept a life like that. Some version of him is living it.
And so of course this opportunity, having his King here with him to be by his side, being able to live together, to be with him, is not something Waver takes for granted. ]
Trust me. I understand very well how unbelievably, incredibly, ridiculously lucky I am, every single day.
[ flat doesn’t really understand what would make waver so angry about it, but from the small, soft, smile on his face, it’s obvious that—at least this time—he doesn’t want to poke fun at waver. after all he, like others in the el melloi classroom, have noticed how haunted by the past their professor is.
so he apologizes, perhaps with even more emotion behind it than when he apologized for what happened a few days ago. upsetting waver was not his intention, nor would he ever want it to be.
he brings the mug to his lips taking a sip of the tea before setting it down. ]
I just think it’s pretty amazing, you know? Even if you say that it’s impossible, it still happened, right? I guess it just makes me kinda happy to see that at least one version of Waver Velvet made their dream come true.
[ Waver's eyes are sharp on his face for a few more seconds, as though he's trying to figure out if Flat is messing with him or making fun of him again, trying to gauge his sincerity. The other matters have been frustrating or flustering, and of course he was upset about what happened between them recently...
But this is different. This is the one point that matters to him more than anything.
Waver sighs, looking down into his tea. One hand drifts away from the mug and settles over his chest-- over the pendant hidden beneath his shirt, its fine chain visible around his neck. ]
It is amazing. And impossible. And it still happened, yes.
[ And yet, here he is. Here they all are. It's what makes this situation even more complicated than it already is, what makes the changes and challenges of this place worthwhile, and something he'd never change even though it's been difficult for him. He gets to be with his King here, no matter how uncomfortable the circumstances are. ]
This isn't how I imagined it going, but...
I am happy.
[ Apology accepted. ]
...I know I don't really know you. From, er, the future, I guess. But you supported his -- my -- dream, didn't you? That means something to me.
[ What that 'something' is... well, that's actually complicated, but not in an all-bad way. He appreciates it. Somehow, hearing that Flat is happy for him is a small source of happiness in itself. Flat's still mostly a stranger, but past his teasing and ridiculousness, Waver can believe he really does give a shit about him. That's been kind of a novel thing, these last few months. It feels... reassuring. ]
[ now it's flat's turn to look rather bewildered, looking at waver like he's suddenly growing a second head. to hear praise from waver--any waver--is enough to leave him in shock. he might as well have been told that he had won the lottery or something similar.
[ flat laughs awkwardly, the grip on his mug tight. it's an anchor right now, keeping him tethered to the conversation. his heart is beating fast, mind racing with thoughts that he can't really comprehend at the moment. ]
Really, you don't need to thank me for anything. All I'll do is give you headaches and stomachaches.
[ he shakes his head. ]
If anything, you--well, he--has done much more for me than anybody else.
[ flat tilts his head. being pushed away like this doesn't hurt flat as much as it probably should--he takes it all with a neutral expression.
he takes a sip of his tea before setting it down. ]
I don't think of you as my friend just because you'll become the Professor. If that were the case, I wouldn't consider you my friend at all, but, well, my Professor.
[ he chuckles a little. that'd be pretty funny, no? the idea of a 20 or so year old waver teaching him. ]
But you have to stop beating yourself up so much you know? You don't need to be a Professor or a Lord or tall-- you two are both Waver Velvet, no matter how much you wanna deny it. Really, I think you're the only one that's confused here.
[ Somehow, it seems to surprise Waver that Flat thinks of him as a friend. It makes his chest feel... funny.
He flushes. It's not his fault he's not tall! ]
I- I'm not...
[ Why does Flat keep saying embarrassing things? Waver buries his face in his mug again, using it as an excuse to take a moment as he tries to navigate between his confusion, frustration, worry, and the weirdly fluttery feeling he's trying to place. Happiness, maybe. Tentatively. That Flat doesn't blame him, or that he doesn't expect Waver to be someone else.
This is definitely a bizarre situation, and it's always going to be that way, but it seems Flat is willing to think of him as his own person even if the reason he cares has to do with someone Waver isn't (yet). The whole thing is convoluted, but somehow it's still a relief to hear.
Waver was expecting him to be upset. ]
I just needed to make sure you understand. I'm not willing to pretend to be someone I'm not.
[ flat's expression lights up like a thousand light bulbs turning on at the same time. from the excitement he even stands up a little too fast for his barely healed wounds to agree with, and he can't help but wince. ]
Ow, ow... [ he sits down, but doesn't seem deterred in his excitement in the least. ]
Being friends will be great, you know? I'll make sure you won't regret it in the least!
[ Waver mumbles, but there's something almost like a smile tugging at his lips, a twitch he's trying to control. The flush is more difficult to hide. ]
Jeez... Don't hurt yourself, stupid.
Really, you should just go to the Coven for more complete healing now that things have calmed down. You don't want to risk lasting damage.
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no subject
because he’s not interested in himself. perhaps waver is, but to flat that is already water under the bridge. he almost died, but survived. perhaps if waver had meant to do what he did, it’d be a different subject, but that was not the case.
he shrugs off the comment, and pushes on. ]
You’re so lucky, you know? Seeing him is like his biggest dream, but look at you! You did it before even turning 25! I never imagined he’d be so huge either. Is that your type?
no subject
Of course I know.
[ He snaps, but it's not the same shallow anger from before. His eyes and voice are steady, and absolutely serious. He even ignores the question about his 'type.' ]
Do you really think I don't understand how lucky I am? How impossible this situation is?
I assure you, I'm not making light of it.
[ Imagining living the rest of his life trying to follow Iskandar without him there, never being able to reach him, preserving his memory and his dream and hoping to be together again one day... Waver had been ready to accept a life like that. Some version of him is living it.
And so of course this opportunity, having his King here with him to be by his side, being able to live together, to be with him, is not something Waver takes for granted. ]
Trust me. I understand very well how unbelievably, incredibly, ridiculously lucky I am, every single day.
no subject
[ flat doesn’t really understand what would make waver so angry about it, but from the small, soft, smile on his face, it’s obvious that—at least this time—he doesn’t want to poke fun at waver. after all he, like others in the el melloi classroom, have noticed how haunted by the past their professor is.
so he apologizes, perhaps with even more emotion behind it than when he apologized for what happened a few days ago. upsetting waver was not his intention, nor would he ever want it to be.
he brings the mug to his lips taking a sip of the tea before setting it down. ]
I just think it’s pretty amazing, you know? Even if you say that it’s impossible, it still happened, right? I guess it just makes me kinda happy to see that at least one version of Waver Velvet made their dream come true.
no subject
But this is different. This is the one point that matters to him more than anything.
Waver sighs, looking down into his tea. One hand drifts away from the mug and settles over his chest-- over the pendant hidden beneath his shirt, its fine chain visible around his neck. ]
It is amazing. And impossible. And it still happened, yes.
[ And yet, here he is. Here they all are. It's what makes this situation even more complicated than it already is, what makes the changes and challenges of this place worthwhile, and something he'd never change even though it's been difficult for him. He gets to be with his King here, no matter how uncomfortable the circumstances are. ]
This isn't how I imagined it going, but...
I am happy.
[ Apology accepted. ]
...I know I don't really know you. From, er, the future, I guess. But you supported his -- my -- dream, didn't you? That means something to me.
[ What that 'something' is... well, that's actually complicated, but not in an all-bad way. He appreciates it. Somehow, hearing that Flat is happy for him is a small source of happiness in itself. Flat's still mostly a stranger, but past his teasing and ridiculousness, Waver can believe he really does give a shit about him. That's been kind of a novel thing, these last few months. It feels... reassuring. ]
Thanks.
1/2
????
??????????????????????????? ]
You're--you're thanking me?
[ now it's flat's turn to look rather bewildered, looking at waver like he's suddenly growing a second head. to hear praise from waver--any waver--is enough to leave him in shock. he might as well have been told that he had won the lottery or something similar.
oh.
is this what andersen meant? ]
no subject
[ flat laughs awkwardly, the grip on his mug tight. it's an anchor right now, keeping him tethered to the conversation. his heart is beating fast, mind racing with thoughts that he can't really comprehend at the moment. ]
Really, you don't need to thank me for anything. All I'll do is give you headaches and stomachaches.
[ he shakes his head. ]
If anything, you--well, he--has done much more for me than anybody else.
no subject
[ Waver joins, briefly, in the awkward laughter. He takes a careful sip of his own hot tea, blowing across the top of it after he finds it too hot. ]
Yeah, I can see that.
[ But he doesn't take it back. ]
Listen, Flat...
[ Waver looks up again, fighting back a sigh that shows in the slump of his ears to either side, even if it isn't audible. ]
I already told you. I appreciate that you... [ He falters, not sure how to phrase it. Care about me? Is that too much? ]
...feel that way.
But that's not me. I'm not that person. Maybe not yet, maybe not ever.
I haven't done anything for you, not really. Your conceptions of me, your... relationship with me, however you feel about it... that's not me.
Don't get confused.
[ It sounds harsher than he means it.
He just doesn't want to let down someone whom he apparently means so much to. He doesn't want to hurt Flat again. ]
no subject
[ flat tilts his head. being pushed away like this doesn't hurt flat as much as it probably should--he takes it all with a neutral expression.
he takes a sip of his tea before setting it down. ]
I don't think of you as my friend just because you'll become the Professor. If that were the case, I wouldn't consider you my friend at all, but, well, my Professor.
[ he chuckles a little. that'd be pretty funny, no? the idea of a 20 or so year old waver teaching him. ]
But you have to stop beating yourself up so much you know? You don't need to be a Professor or a Lord or tall-- you two are both Waver Velvet, no matter how much you wanna deny it. Really, I think you're the only one that's confused here.
no subject
He flushes. It's not his fault he's not tall! ]
I- I'm not...
[ Why does Flat keep saying embarrassing things? Waver buries his face in his mug again, using it as an excuse to take a moment as he tries to navigate between his confusion, frustration, worry, and the weirdly fluttery feeling he's trying to place. Happiness, maybe. Tentatively. That Flat doesn't blame him, or that he doesn't expect Waver to be someone else.
This is definitely a bizarre situation, and it's always going to be that way, but it seems Flat is willing to think of him as his own person even if the reason he cares has to do with someone Waver isn't (yet). The whole thing is convoluted, but somehow it's still a relief to hear.
Waver was expecting him to be upset. ]
I just needed to make sure you understand. I'm not willing to pretend to be someone I'm not.
As long as that's clear...
[ He shrugs. ]
I guess we can be...... friends... or whatever.
a million years later..........................
[ flat's expression lights up like a thousand light bulbs turning on at the same time. from the excitement he even stands up a little too fast for his barely healed wounds to agree with, and he can't help but wince. ]
Ow, ow... [ he sits down, but doesn't seem deterred in his excitement in the least. ]
Being friends will be great, you know? I'll make sure you won't regret it in the least!
no subject
[ Waver mumbles, but there's something almost like a smile tugging at his lips, a twitch he's trying to control. The flush is more difficult to hide. ]
Jeez... Don't hurt yourself, stupid.
Really, you should just go to the Coven for more complete healing now that things have calmed down. You don't want to risk lasting damage.
I'll even go with you. After you finish your tea.