middaeg | October catch-all [closed]

Help...?

[ Help what? How awful it feels, in the aftermath of what had happened in Dorchacht, to know they're powerless? Help Berserker deal with his violent desires toward the city's politics and the way he clearly wishes he could help its less fortunate people?

Or help Waver, skittish and anxious after his close call there, still trying to put it behind him?

Help distract them, maybe. From all that. What else could this possibly achieve?

Berserker's kiss is more forceful this time, one large hand on Waver's hip holding him close. His pulse spikes, this time uncomfortably. Waver almost bites him. ]

Hey--

[ This time, he takes a step back. Or tries to, though Berserker's grip on him means it's more a rocking-back motion than an entire step. ]

I said wait.

What's gotten into you?

[ Berserker lets go of him -- he didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. Gods, he's just making this worse, isn't he? It's not quite shame he's feeling, but discomfort shows on his face. ]

I don't know. [ To lack the confidence and decisiveness he has in most things is strange. To not know what he's doing or how to explain his actions is frustrating. ] I wanted to...distract myself. Distract you. Forget about what happened for a little while.

[ There it is. It finally spills out of him with that same uncharacteristic vulnerability as before. ]

This has helped me before. I thought maybe...I could help you in the same way.

[ Awkward and uncomfortable comes the confession. Berserker can't even look him in the eye after that admission. ]

[ When Berserker releases him, Waver finishes taking that half step back, and a few shallow breaths. His face is red. ]

I... I see.

[ Distraction had been his suspicion, though honestly it felt like Berserker was trying to help and distract himself more than Waver. But maybe it's just that he's inexperienced too, and he had listened quickly. Waver's not sure he can blame him, anyway. He remembers being particularly eager in the past...

The memories only make his face grow hotter. ]

Sorry, it's just--

Awkward. I mean, that one time, we--

[ God. No, why did he bring it up?? Instant regrets.

Waver shakes his head, backing up again toward the desk. One hand touches the back of the chair as if looking for a lifeline to grip onto. ]

I- I don't know either.

[ He should leave and just forget this endeavor altogether. Everything he's been doing just seems to make this more and more awkward. It's all he can do to not just flee the scene and forget any of this happened. No, instead of doing what his brain and body are screaming at him to do, he stays.

Inexperience is a large part of the poor way he's been approaching this. It's not just inexperience with acts of intimacy, it's inexperience with emotions and empathy. It's still so new and so raw that anything he can do to ease the pain he feels is what he goes to. Little he's found can soothe emotional pain simply because he doesn't know what to do with it. Physical pain is easy -- that he can just shrug off and press through. This is so far out of his realm of experience, so he's just fumbling along. ]

You're more yourself now. This is different, you're not a slave to your instincts. [ They hadn't talked about that time, probably for the best. ] If you're not interested, I can leave. I didn't...mean to make it awkward. I just don't know any other way to offer comfort.

[ That's...just going to make it worse, probably, but there was no need to try to cover up the truth. Honesty in everything, even when it's not a good idea. ]

[ The reminder of what state he'd been in last time makes Waver wince faintly, but Berserker isn't wrong. That's much of why it was so embarrassing. He's sure he wouldn't have been so shameless otherwise, and it's kind of a relief, really, that they've all just sort of ignored it after the fact. But maybe in retrospect that wasn't the healthiest way to handle it, either.

Waver hesitates, ears down against his scalp, tail holding perfectly still. His shoulders are tight, posture tense, like an animal about to bolt.

It would be easiest that way. Push Berserker away, tell him not to bring it up. Now that he's got another Bond and Iskandar as an outlet even if those kinds of instincts do take over, he's more confident there wouldn't be a repeat episode like that.

But... it seems Berserker actually wants it. Wants... him?

The thought makes Waver's already red face heat up further. He shifts his weight uncertainly from one foot to the other. ]

I-- It's not that.

[ Not... entirely. He's not not interested. But he's not particularly interested either. His attraction to Berserker had been completely shallow before, more out of ease of having someone there when he needed it, and the desire spiking to levels he couldn't control because of Berserker's scent and arousal in front of him. He hadn't been able to help himself.

Now, it's different. Their needs are different. It's not so simple.

Waver swallows, his eyes shyly flicking from Berserker over to the bed on the other side of the room. His ears slowly unfold, perking up tentatively. This time, when he takes a step forward, he offers his hand. ]

Here. Just lie down with me.

[ Berserker is clearly shaken. It's weird to see him like this, but Waver can't ignore it-- not after what Berserker had done for him in Dorchacht. It's not entirely out of obligation, though. Waver wants to help him.

What Berserker seems to need but is having trouble expressing is... intimacy. Touch. He just needs someone to hold, or to hold him. Waver understands because he takes comfort in closeness too, and he had also been so unfamiliar with it until recently.

It's no less awkward, but he pushes through it. He leads Berserker to the bed, urging him to lie down, and then climbing in with him on top of the covers. ]

[ He expected to be told to leave, so when Waver offers his hand, it's met with a briefly confused look. Berserker's terrible at communicating, so the fact that he picks up on anything of his intentions or even what he wants out of this is kind of impressive. Instead of protesting or leaving like he feels like he should, he simply nods and takes Waver's hand. He lays down as he's asked, watching him for a moment.

Once he settles in, Berserker sidles up alongside him. He drapes an arm around him to pull him just a little bit closer. Waver feels so small against him, yet so significant. His warmth is welcoming, the rhythm of his breathing reassuring. The situation may have been awkward, but this is exactly what the dragon wanted: a chance to be close to the turnskin he'd grown so protective of, to be reassured that after everything he's okay (or at least managing). ]

There you go.

[ That was what he wanted, wasn't it? Waver can feel him relaxing, even as Berserker's arm curls tight around him.

He exhales slowly, pressing his face against Berserker's shoulder. Then, nosing up under his chin to rest his lips right over the dragon's pulse at his throat, that soothing place where Waver can breathe in his scent and feel his breathing and his heartbeat. He closes his eyes. ]

Do you feel any better?

[ He asks after a few minutes of simply breathing together in silence. It actually does help Waver, too. He hadn't expected it for some reason. Even he feels more relaxed, and far less awkward even though they're even closer than before. ]

[ This is what he wanted, more or less. He has no idea how to ask for this because he still views it as a weakness. He shouldn't need physical comfort like this, he should be able to just brute force his way through everything like before. It's another uncomfortable adjustment he has to make.

A shiver he can't fight runs through him as he feels Waver's breath against his throat. He tilts his head back almost automatically to give him better access. He can't help the way his body responds to the closeness, keeping enough of a gap between them to not make it obvious. The silence is comfortable, settling between them as they lie together. He finds himself absently gripping and petting Waver where his hand rests. His lips moving against Berserker's throat draw a quiet, but noticeable sound in response. It's a moment before he responds, trying to get his reactions back under control. ]

I do... [ It's nice, he wants to say. It's warm and comfortable. He feels safe and content. Security is such a rare feeling for Berserker that he doesn't mind indulging in this. ] Are you sure you don't mind?

[ Even if he tries to put enough distance between them to remain polite, unfortunately Waver's nose is far too good these days. He can scent Berserker's arousal whether he wants to or not. He's just... pretending otherwise out of awkwardness, though the silence is starting to get less comfortable for him.

His intention wasn't to excite him but rather to just cuddle and calm down, try to make Berserker feel better by giving him the affection he seemed to need. It seems Waver may have done a bit more than he should have. Or maybe Berserker really does need comfort in this... particular way.

Jeez...

Waver takes a breath, shifting back slightly. The scent of Berserker's interest is really distracting. And bringing up all sorts of memories that make it even more distracting. ]

If it's helping, I don't mind. I mean... doing this.

[ He's still skittish about doing... more. Not entirely against it, but definitely. Awkward. ]

[ It's the proximity more than anything -- a side effect of remaining closed off for so long. The slightest touch or being close is enough to draw an annoying reaction out of Berserker. Nonsexual intimacy is something he's never known; closeness like this only ever led to sex previously, so it's what his body expects.

However, he's learned to actually enjoy such acts instead of seeing them merely as a means to an end, a means to get someone to leave him alone. And truthfully, he's taken comfort in it before. Maybe...that's okay. He doesn't want to push Waver, though. This is far different than last time, with both of them in their right minds and after a shared traumatic experience.

He shifts, bringing up his free hand to gently stroke Waver's ears. The arm around Waver drops a little lower, hand resting on his hip now. ]

...You smell it, don't you? [ As if he has to ask. He's really, really good at making things worse without trying. ] It's not like last time, so don't worry about that.

[ They'd been barely anything more than desperately rutting animals then. He didn't regret what happened, but it did make things awkward. ]

[ ...oh, that feels nice. Warm and comfortable like this, snuggled up in bed, with his ears being petted so pleasantly. And Berserker's body is pressed to him close considering the small bed made for only one person.

The question makes Waver's flush darken noticeably, his face and ears growing hotter. Why is Berserker so damn blunt? It's annoying. ]

I-I'm not worried! Why would I be worried? [ he snaps automatically. Not denying it. Ugh...

But he doesn't really want to pull away, either. It feels good. Awkward, but good. He doesn't know what to do, pressing his face to Berserker's chest to hide it, forehead against his collar bone.

Waver groans, ear twitching under Berserker's fingers. ]

I don't want to talk about last time. It's weird.

[ The bed is small, far too small for him to keep the respectful distance he's been trying to maintain. He gives up on that and shifts closer, his tail coming to rest on his own legs. Waver already knows he's aroused, so the distance is a formality, at this point.

The way he snaps at his statement doesn't annoy him for once -- it's a familiar reaction. He lets that slide and doesn't give a response. There's no need, it'll just draw more and more irritable responses until it reaches a breaking point. He doesn't want that right now.

Berserker doesn't quite know how to react when Waver presses closer to him and buries his face against his chest. It's nice, it's more of what he wants, even if it's a confused response. His fingers continues to stroke Waver's ears, following their shape and curve, switching between each one on occasion. ]

Then we don't need to talk about it. [ Gentle, reassuring. ] Just...lay here with me awhile.

[ The dragon can't help himself, though, and lets his other hand work its way underneath Waver's shirt. He doesn't press much further than that, waiting to see his reaction. It's a fine line he's walking. ]

[ Maybe it was mostly a formality, but even being able to scent it in the air isn't the same as feeling the press of Berserker's arousal against his thigh when he scoots closer. Despite the way his memories tend to be fuzzier, almost dreamlike, when they come from a state of ferality or something close to it, Waver realizes with a pang of shame-mixed-with-something that he very clearly remembers exactly what Berserker's cock looks like. He's seen the dragon nude before, of course, in other situations-- but it's different, picturing him aroused like that. Like before.

Waver's mind is already preoccupied with certain intimate thoughts... and then Berserker's cool fingers are sliding under the back of his waistband, untucking his shirt just enough to slide beneath. And of course his other hand is still fondling his ears in a way that's starting to feel more intense and less 'just friendly' by the moment. The scent of Berserker's arousal is heavy in the air, the scent of his sweat and skin pressed right against Waver's nose even through the thin fabric of his shirt. ]

...mmh.

[ Maybe it's agreement in response to Berserker's reassurance, or Waver trying to get up the desire to actually tell him to stop, but he doesn't continue. Just a small noise, muffled in Berserker's ~~big ol' tiddies~~ broad chest. His ears bend delicately beneath Berserker's touch, soft and warm and receptive.

It's easy to just keep quiet. Let him continue, pretend he got carried away (it's not exactly a lie) instead of having to speak up and confront actually wanting this. Not that he thinks Iskandar would care. It's different, completely. But it still feels... good. And Waver doesn't want to stop just because he's embarrassed. Even though he's... very embarrassed.

His body is starting to react too. It's already young and eager, despite his emotional and mental reservations, but even moreso since his Turnskin changes have intensified, which is completely unfair. He's going to blame it on that, anyway. Whether or not it's true.

Waver's breathing deepens, hot and damp against Berserker's shirt. He doesn't lift his face. He doesn't stop him or move away, either. ]

[ He could say more, could ask if Waver's alright, but he doesn't. There's no protest from him nor any signs of discomfort, so Berserker figures it's fine to continue. Part of it he knows is Waver's own inability to accept the fact he has urges. He's so repressed...While Berserker isn't repressed in quite the same way, he can relate to the difficulty in admitting to his own desires. It's how they ended up in this situation, after all: not knowing how to communicate what he wants.

Waver's so warm against him and underneath his touch, he just wants to feel more of him. His pulse quickens just slightly as he feels the other's breath against his chest. It's still a lot for him to deal with being close to someone else in this way without the frenzied heat from the moons driving him. There's time for careful exploration without the desperation.

Mindful of his claws, he draws his fingers up the curve of Waver's spine, his touch light. The touch on his ears has definitely moved beyond friendly to actively seeing what area or what kind of touch will bring out a different reaction. They seem so sensitive that he's curious. His own wings are a particularly sensitive area and it's a fine line between a touch on them feeling good and being almost too much to handle; the turnskin's ears seem to be the same way. It feels almost mean to do this, but he can't help himself right now. Waver's reactions push him to keep it up. ]

[ The light prick of Berserker's claws sliding up his back draws a distinctive shiver all up Waver's spine, following the tingling feeling of the barely-there touch. It makes him arch, pressing further against Berseker's front in the process, letting out a shaky sigh.

The rubbing at his ears is getting a bit much-- though Waver hasn't decided yet if it's in a way he likes or not. The skin is very thin beneath the soft fur, lots of surface area to pet and all of it quite sensitive when Berserker keeps his touch light. It doesn't feel as nice when he tries rubbing harder. Waver grunts, the small appendage quickly trying to flutter free of Berserker's grip. He shifts his head slightly, tipping it away, but struggles to say what he wants out loud because he's not sure if he should. If it's enough to bring up. It's embarrassing... ]

A-ah... maybe not... like that?

[ He eases up on Waver's ears with a briefly sympathetic smile. There's a fine line between what feels good and what's too much, after all. It's a little bit surprising that he speaks up, though. Being more assertive is a good thing, just unexpected from Waver. ]

Too rough? [ He asks as he draws his claws lightly down Waver's back again. That seemed to get a good reaction out of him, at least. He keeps his hand moving in lazy circles. ] They're sensitive, aren't they?

A- a little...

[ For someone usually so outspoken and loud about his annoyance over the stupidest things, Waver is having a rather hard time voicing his likes and dislikes in this context. He's making an attempt, though. Even if it's making his face burn. ]

...yeah.

[ Human ears are sensitive too, but not quite so delicate. A too-firm squeeze doesn't feel very good for either. ]

Just don't... do it hard. Softly is good.

[ God. It's like he's forgotten words. He barely gets the mumble out.

At least Berserker kindly distract him from his mounting embarrassment with another light scratch down his back, and that feels good. Waver arches automatically again, the gentle scratching making his skin tingle. The last word of his attempted explanation comes out breathless, almost a whine. ]

[ The fact that Waver's trying at all to voice what he likes is admirable. Berserker himself still has trouble doing that, preferring to let his partner do as they please without concern for what he wants. Hangups like that are a hard thing to let go of. He lightens up the touch on Waver's ears now, drawing his fingers down to the base of them where the meet his skull and back up to the tips. ]

Better?

[ Berserker's trying hard to ignore his own arousal -- if anything, their last encounter like this proved he's good at that. It's still a want and an ache he can't deny. It's also impossible to not notice it pressing into Waver's thigh as he shifts just a bit closer.

The hand on Waver's back slides around towards his stomach, down into the small space between them. He drops it lower to fondle him through the cloth of his pants, pressing his palm against the heated hardness he finds there. It's not an urgent touch by any means, just an extension of the unhurried exploration of seeing what Waver responds to best. ]

Mmh...

[ The low moan of agreement is answer enough. When Berserker lightens his touch like that, it actually increases the sensitivity, especially with repeated strokes. He rubs at the base of Waver's ear, and the pleasant tingles shiver down his spine, as Waver squirms and arches again in response.

And he is responsive, despite how embarrassed he looks; he can't help the way his hips twitch, the way his breath escapes him shakily in a hot puff against Berserker's chest, the way his cock fills out further beneath the coaxing pressure of Berserker's palm between his legs. Waver's never been very good at reining in how he feels, and the more his mind fogs up with the pleasure, the harder it is to hold back.

He grinds forward tentatively, the movement involuntary at first, then rocking slowly, seeing how it feels. With Berserker's arousal nudging his thigh, Waver carefully adjusts how he's lying down, trying to put some more pressure on it experimentally. To see if Berserker can feel it, and likes it. ]

Edited 2019-10-11 03:30 (UTC)

[ Normally, Berserker's quite restrained in sexual situations; even when something feels good, he barely shows it. It typically made people leave him alone even faster before. Things have changed, though, and he actually finds himself enjoying sex. He's been actively trying to be more vocal, give into his wants, and show his partner he's enjoying it.

He can feel the pressure from Waver on his cock, a soft, appreciative sound coming from him. His hips roll forward into the sensation; it's a bit dulled due to their barriers in the way, but it still feels good. Berserker tries to meet his grinding, pressing into it with another quiet noise. If Waver's forcing himself out of his comfort zone to say what he likes, it's only fair he do the same. It's difficult for him to express what he wants after so long of denying his own desires. ]

...That feels good. [ He manages to say, a bit quieter than intended. ] I...like it.

[ Really, what he'd like is less clothing between them, but this feels good enough for now that he doesn't want to break away from it. He settles for fumbling with Waver's fly, getting the zipper down enough to slip his hand inside. His fingers trace the shape of his dick through his underwear with enough pressure to make a statement. ]

O-oh... okay, erm... Good.

[ Waver doesn't know how to react to someone telling him what they want either... not like this. Iskandar tells him what he wants, sure, but he's more commanding about it and he's Rider, and Waver's more than excited to please him. It's easier with him, even if it's still embarrassing. Like this... he doesn't really know what he's doing.

Not that he dislikes it. If it didn't feel good, he'd have asked to stop, but the problem is it does. It feels good, and interesting, and... slower. A softer sort of pleasure, exploratory, a different feeling. He likes Berserker just fine as an ally and, maybe, friend. But the depth of emotional passion isn't there. It's mostly physical, with a desire to make Berserker feel satisfied mostly because he's doing the same for Waver. Mutual pleasure, casual in comparison, just something that feels nice and distracting and new.

He keeps trying not to overthink it. He knows it's a problem, but-- ]

Haah...?

[ For some reason, Waver hadn't expected him to reach inside his trousers. Obviously, it would be leading that way, and Berserker was already getting under his shirt, and yet it still surprises him when he feels the pressure of Berserker's touch with only the thin layer of his underwear between them. The cloth strains against the shape of his cock, a damp spot starting to grow where Waver is already leaking precum. He grinds forward into the touch automatically, groaning against Berserker's chest. His own hands brace against him, fingers curling in Berserker's shirt.

It's a bit awkward trying to rub back with his thigh at the same time, so Waver just presses closer, instinctively seeking friction for both of them at once, or maybe just the closeness. It might make the angle a bit more awkward for Berserker's hand, but he's not thinking about that... ]

[ It's similar for Berserker, too. He's used to Diarmuid, who he's more comfortable being vulnerable around. It's safe to indulge with him and tell him what feels good and he does the same. This...is not the same at all. He and Waver don't have that emotional bond, but it doesn't mean it's not enjoyable -- it's just different.

The way Waver suddenly bucks into his touch draws him out of his thoughts. The angle is quite a bit more awkward now so he stops for a moment. Now's as good a time as any to get them out of their clothes. He withdraws his hand from his trousers and starts to unfasten them properly. They get left in place for now as he works at Waver's shirt now. He could just tell him to strip down probably, but this seems more fun. An unintended side effect is leaving him high and dry for a few minutes, of course... ]

Edited (noticing the wrong word 10 minutes later...) 2019-10-11 05:37 (UTC)

[ Luckily, Waver seems to warm up to the idea of getting the pants out of the way pretty quickly. He pulls back just enough to let Berserker work, peering up at him a bit shyly through his eyelashes, flushed and dazed. The scent of both of their arousal so strong in the small space is making his head spin, a self-perpetuating problem.

He's more comfortable letting someone else lead for now, so Berserker's assertiveness is met positively as Waver squirms a bit, helpfully, one hand reaching down to help him shove the trousers down. Underwear, too, unless he's stopped. ]

[ Berserker doesn't stop him from pushing everything down -- it's a little impatient, but it's fine. It'd be a little cruel to deny him that bit of freedom. He pulls them the rest of the way off, grateful Waver's being so responsive to this. His shirt is next to go, opened up but not pulled off.

He gets a bit distracted with the expansive of newly bared skin and leans down to kiss his throat, a hand resting on his narrow chest. His thumb brushes over one of his nipples in slow, lazy circles. His own clothes can wait for now, he's content to lavish attention on the turnskin for now. It's teasing, though, as he keeps his hands off of his cock, occupied by the rest of his body. In more casual encounters, it's normally a rush to the finish, so it's strange not to feel that urgency. He's content to keep the pace measured for now, wanting to see more of Waver's reactions. ]

[ Waver helpfully kicks off his trousers and underwear when they're down to about his ankles, shoving them off the side of the bed carelessly for now. He's distracted. ]

Careful... the buttons... [ he mumbles, annoyingly, but Berserker isn't tearing at his shirt. It's quick but purposeful, and he's in control of his claws. Buttons all undone, the shirt falls open, the thin white material clinging to Waver's sweat-damp back when he rolls over further, moving naturally into a better position for Berserker to reach and touch when he leans down. ]

Mmhh...

[ Berserker will be able to feel the soft vibrations of Waver's pleased hum. He tips his head back, throat exposed, clearly liking attention there. Berserker's lips are softer, warmer than his fingertips, even though his whole body is probably warming up with their proximity and Waver's higher than average temperature now running even hotter in his excitement.

He doesn't respond so immediately to the rubbing at his nipple. That's a slower, deeper sensation, building heat with each touch. His chest arches up a little to encourage it, as the nipple hardens gradually beneath Berserker's touch, firm and flushed. Waver's cock, too, curves a line against his lower belly where it lies, fully erect, the head pink against his pale skin. ]

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