(catch-all)

[fulgency]

Who: Ozymandias + Assorted others!
When: All month long!
Where: Around Aefenglom!
What: Sphinx kittens and small children raising hell, and sometimes he's a bossypants.
Warnings: Will update as needed!

(if you would like a private starter, please hmu by shooting me a message rebreather or this journal! doesn't matter if we've threaded together in the past or not! anybody is free to request. :]b)

Comments

[fulgency]

[The longer she lingers there with the cub, the more attention she's beginning to draw from the rest. Already one sphinx begins making its way over to see what its sibling is up to.]

For however long they are able to remain in this world, I shall care for them.

[His answer this time is more direct because perhaps logistics is only slightly to the left of tactics, it's an improvement and certainly more focused on the well-being of the creatures rather than their utility. It's not an unfair question to ask either.]

Setting aside the fact that I am the one who conjured them into this world, I only entrust and allow command over my sphinxes to select individuals. The kittens are no different in this regard, perhaps even more so given their vulnerability.

[They're his babies. He's not using those words, but that's what it boils down to.]

[sageprincess]

[How... loving and responsible. She can't imagine most conjurers would be so invested in their summons' welfare, especially so-called "failed" ones. It's touching. Her smile returns as she recenters her focus on the cub at her side, scritching its belly as it bats at its approaching sibling. Their pets!]

I imagine they will be well looked after, then. Those "select individuals" do not exist in this world, do they?

[Surely he won't trust them to anyone he's only known for a few months - not with how seriously he regards their health and safety.]

[fulgency]

[The newest cub to this party is, of course, offended at being swatted and bat at, which means that it's temporarily forgotten. It's time to wrestle and gnaw on its sibling's face for being rude. Or try to, in any case.]

No, [Ozymandias says with a slight shake of his head.] They simply do not exist within the Coven.

[An important distinction as he looks at Zelda quite pointedly.]

[sageprincess]

Oh?

[Zelda laughs a little bit as she quickly removes her hand from the risk of getting accidentally clawed amidst impromptu wrestling match, though... it falters when she looks up to see Ozymandias looking at her with such intent. She blinks, confusion and then surprise flashing across her expression as realization dawns.]

W-- wait, you do not mean to say...?

[She can't even make herself finish the sentence, that's how outside of the realm of her expectations the idea is.]

[fulgency]

You should know me well enough by now to know that I do not say what I do not mean, [he says with a slight laugh. Her surprise is predictable, but still a little amusing. She propped herself up immediately as his superior when it comes to the matter of magics -- at least enough to justify that she could be of use as a tutor -- and now here she is uncertain that he could possibly trust her enough with one of these creatures.] Zelda, in the months I've come to know you, you've proven yourself to be an excellent teacher. You are firm and fair, but most importantly, you have a kind heart.

You would raise them to be the guardians they are meant to be and hold them to the appropriate standard, but you would never be cruel towards them. Therefore, I would have no reason to worry over their welfare.

[sageprincess]

[Perhaps the expected response is elation. His words are warm and kind; the gift he offers is magical and precious. And yet--]

I-- I am honored, but... I must, respectfully, decline.

[She does not look at him as she says this. Her eyes fall to her lap where her hands ball into tight fists, voice strained in a way that suggests a great struggle happening within the confines of her mind. The sphinx cubs continue to play in her periphery, innocent and vulnerable and completely unaware of the worth they carry with them, and the difference is that raw magic can't be hurt and she's not--]

... There is a difference between a teacher and a caretaker. I... do not believe I would be effective in the role of the latter. I have no experience in caring for a creature so young, let alone one so revered. It would be better for them to remain in your care, I feel.

[fulgency]

[In truth, Ozymandias didn't know what to expect from Zelda. He certainly hoped that she might be pleased either by the opportunity itself or Ozymandias' obviously high opinion of her, but he didn't expect it. Not with how quick she has been in their past conversations to deny herself happiness. So, in the end, her answer isn't particularly surprising even if a little... Disappointing isn't really the word for it. It is merely sad.]

[As she speaks, Ozymandias sets the book in his lap onto the bench beside him and places the sphinx on his shoulders on top of it. (The cub clearly has no idea how to process this. It wanted this??? But not like this.) He joins Zelda, crouching down in front of her, the kittens pausing only briefly in their play to look at him before resuming the wrestling match of the century for the prize of a million pets.]

I should be offended that you would question my judgment when never in my life or thereafter have I ever misjudged someone. [He hums in light, feigned amusement.] Especially when in the same breath you say that I would know what's best for them, but my trust in you with their care is misplaced. You waste my time with such nonsense.

[He places a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.]

But I shall forgive it as evidence of your inexperience. That is not something I can hold against you. So, if you will allow me this moment to reverse our roles and be a teacher to you...

[He does not really wait for much of an answer from Zelda. He lets go of her shoulder to turn and pick up one of the cubs, interrupting their battle with one another. The cub attempts to make a few last swipes at its sibling, but once Ozymandias has a firm hold on it, there's not much it can do. So, it nestles in close against his chest. The remaining sphinx shakes itself off from the throwdown with its sibling and does a stretch.]

I would not deny that the responsibility of a caretaker is greater. Often what you are raising shall be a reflection of yourself more so than any teacher would experience. But what a teacher and caretaker are trying to accomplish... It's not all that different. [Ozymandias scratches beneath the kitten's chin, which sets its little motor going in an awkward and clumsy attempt at a purr.] You wish for them to grow, to be strong enough and knowledgeable enough that they should be able to one day stand without you because you know that time will come when you can no longer be there.

[He looks up from the sphinx in his arms to Zelda once more. The loose cub at this point has begun trying to clamber into Zelda's lap.]

I would not attempt to force any such responsibilities on you, [he says with a slight laugh. He's received enough lectures about her status to not try for that.] But had I even the slightest reservation that I might be setting you up for failure, I would not suggest you capable. I would not do that to you or to them.

So, perhaps instead of seeing your inexperience as a reason to decline, it is a reason to accept and learn something new for yourself.

[And see that it is alright for her to also love something that isn't her kingdom. She clearly is not ready for that something else to be herself, but a sphinx is not a terrible start.]

[sageprincess]

[You're wrong.

The words are on the tip of her tongue. It's not nonsense - she's not inexperienced. He just doesn't know, because she hasn't told him, because she's lied. But the pain in her chest keeps her breath in her lungs, the phrase trapped and dying in her throat before she can ever give it voice.

She listens instead, still refusing to meet Ozymandias' eyes even though it does nothing to hide her pain. Her lips tighten and quiver as the cub crawls into her lap, bumping its nose against her hand for more attention from her because it doesn't know, it doesn't know--]

What if I fail regardless? [Even in this form, the words struggle to come out. Her voice cracks and she has to swallow before she can continue.] What if it is hurt under my care, and the thing I learn is the thing I suspect to be the truth already?

I-- I can't... watch something suffer because of my mistakes...

[fulgency]

[Were it not already obvious that Ozymandias managed to stumble upon a great pain, the way she struggles against it in maintaining her composure would certainly clue Ozymandias in. While he's witnessed those moments of sadness, seen the toll that some great loss and pain has taken on her, it's never been to this extent. He's never seen her struggle against it so fiercely and yet so close to losing control over it.]

[Because of my mistakes...]

[The details are still lost upon Ozymandias -- and will be until Zelda decides otherwise if she ever does -- but the bigger picture fills itself in even more with those words. It's true that Zelda clearly takes her duties and responsibilities as princess, as future Queen of Hyrule, quite seriously, and she does so to such an extent that it supersedes anything else. Particularly if it happens to be a personal desire. But there is more to it than just her sense of duty and responsibility as she was raised. It's more than that tragedy he's seen the scars of, sees them now as her voice cracks and breaks, and she refuses to meet his eyes.]

[Setting down the cub in his arms, Ozymandias moves down from crouching to rest on his knees before he also plucks the other cub off her lap. Without asking her permission, Ozymandias pulls Zelda to him, wrapping his arms firmly around her. His hand rubs small circles on her back as he says nothing for a moment or two, allowing her some quiet and himself some space to gather his thoughts.]

What damage from mistakes there might be, it is always already done. There is no taking it back. But that is not what truly matters, Zelda. Everyone is capable of mistakes. Grave mistakes. [He even includes himself in that given decisions he's made in his lifetime and beyond even if he doesn't say so explicitly.] The expectation is not perfection, but a willingness to do something after a mistake. It's that that matters more.

I simply don't believe that you would ever sit by and watch something suffer from your mistakes or not if it is within your power to do otherwise. [He hums in light amusement with a small smile.] Your will is too strong for something like that.

[sageprincess]

[She gasps - a sharp, aching sort of sound - as she's pulled in and held so securely, her body stiff and tense in his arms. But as he rubs her back and offers her these moments of quiet, she can feel herself... breaking, bit by bit. The walls she's put up around her heart both to protect it and to hide it's broken, unsightly from the world slowly crumbling under the weight of this one ridiculous man's faith. And it's not fair, she thinks; she's spent so long building them up, so how is it that a few kind words and an embrace are enough to tear through them like paper?

Her breathing becomes labored with her efforts to keep her emotions contained, though she's distantly aware that she's not fooling anyone.

... She's really not fooling anyone, is she. There's no way she can pretend this is actually about the cat anymore.]

But... I have.

[Somewhere along the way, her fingers have tangled themselves in his cloak, pulling at it as her hands tighten.]

I have... invited such ruin upon my country that... that only perfection could ever adequately atone for it. This "strong will" you see-- it was useless.

All I could do was watch my people suffer. Even to those I called my allies, I couldn't even offer comfort...

[fulgency]

[He listens to her patiently, allows her to continue trying to cling to whatever shred of control over her emotions she can seem to muster, but he cannot help but disagree with the amount of responsibility-- no, not responsibility. It's fault that she places upon herself. It's that he disagrees with even as he understands where it comes from, having been her age when he was officially named the successor to the throne and the weight of that title weighing as heavily on his shoulders as it did then. No doubt if their positions were reversed, he would feel the same guilt and shame.]

[But empathy and understanding for her perspective does not make it right. It doesn't make it reasonable.]

You speak of a mistake, but unless it was directly by your hand that your people suffered, it sounds to me as though the ones who should answer for those sins are the ones who inflicted it. Not you.

Not when you were only a child.

[Ozymandias doesn't need the specifics of a timeline, of when this ruin came to befall Hyrule to know that much. But in truth, even if she were to tell him that it happened just days before her arrival here -- an entirely unlikely to the point of being impossible scenario -- he would still say the same. Even if Zelda is so reluctant to allow herself to be one, there still yet exists a child within her. She is scared, hurt, and ashamed, made so very small beneath the weight of those feelings, but she still yet lives.]

It is an easy thing to forget when you are raised with the duties and responsibilities that only those of our birth would know, but a child is not capable of the destruction you are describing, intentionally or otherwise. You had no other choice but to stand aside.

[Ozymandias pulls back from Zelda slightly, this time tipping her chin to at least turn her face towards him even if she still cannot bring her gaze to him.]

You are the beacon of hope to your people, their pride in their nation. When the time is right and when you are able, you will take your rightful place as Queen and they will love you as they always have. Together, you will heal the wounds Hyrule has suffered and return it to its former glory.

[His judgment of her simply remains unchanged, and he believes wholeheartedly the people of Hyrule similarly remain unchanged in their opinions of their princess.]

[Ozymandias smiles at her, quietly but no less warm than he always does.]

[sageprincess]

[A part of her still wants to reject him. She's spent so long telling herself that the tragedy that befell Hyrule was her doing, that the suffering of Hyrule's people was her burden to bear, that she can't possibly believe anything else to be the truth. Though she did what she could for Link, she could never truly call herself redeemed until Hyrule was restored.

... A course of action that has been stolen away from her, just as the Triforce has, and set almost impossibly out of reach. Nearly half a year she has been trapped within her guilt without recourse, without even a spark of hope that there might be an end to it, and it's... exhausting.

He lifts her chin, and she finally pulls her eyes up to meet his, watery and miserable as they are. Her lip trembles, and her brow is wrinkled with the weight of her turmoil, and she wants to believe him. But the things she wants and the things she can have are so very rarely one and the same.]

... How. How can you be so sure?

[Her voice is still quiet, aching, but there's a sincerity to that question that wasn't there before. An openness to the things he's saying, rather than shutting them down entirely.]

You've never seen Hyrule. There is not even anyone else here who could tell you about it. How can you say her people will accept me, when I ran from them for so long?

[fulgency]

You speak to the King of Kings. You will find no one more capable of speaking on these matters.

[As with all of his boasts, coming from someone else or spoken a different way, and he would seem arrogant and entitled; but Ozymandias' confidence sounds like something he has built and earned rather than had given to him. And yet, it is a little different this time. Not because he keeps it brief and to the point (though that is likely a refreshing change of pace), but the purpose is not for his own ego or speaking on his own accomplishments for the sake of them.]

I need not set foot in your kingdom to know these things because I know you. And in knowing you, I know your people's ideals because those are the standards to which you hold yourself. [He shakes his head a little.] You have not been made cruel by your experiences and neither will they. They will see what I see.

[She may not be perfect, but perfection is not what is demanded or asked of her by anyone other than herself. Even with as heavy as the crown that will one day rest on her head might be, he cannot imagine a people with her as a princess would ever be quite as harsh as she is with herself. If anything, he imagines they blame themselves just as much as she blames herself for the state of their kingdom. How many must wonder to themselves what more they might have been able to do to prevent the shadow that befell Hyrule? Even when they knew deep down that they held no control over the matter. No more than the child who would was meant to be their Queen one day.]

Someday, if you allow it, you will, too.