[Open] Perhaps this is the spice of life

[firewalled]

Who: Rich Goranski, a few embarrassed employers, and you!
When: From August 8 through to the 16th
Where: Tumeric or not Tumeric
What: Rich starts his new part time job as a spice salesman with his usual amount of enthusiasm. It... well, he's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
Warnings: Small mention of abuse/alcoholism. Also a writing quirk to hopefully get Rich's lisp across. It can be dropped in tags!

[So Rich was, as consistently and ironically as ever, completely broke. A bemused but sympathetic shopkeeper had taken his last bit of American money in exchange for a proper meal his first night, but after that, with his debit card useless, he didn't have a dime to his name.

Sure, he could live and eat without any real concern for money, but Rich wasn't going to be content with just that. There were clothes and books to purchase too, plus he definitely didn't want to stay in the barracks for however long he was stuck here, so that meant getting enough saved up to buy a place.

Should be a lot easier to do that than it was when he was losing three quarters of his cash to his dad's booze fund. Plus, it seemed the city had a lot of businesses looking for part-timers to help out! Making deliveries was easy and a good source of exercise, and now it was time for Rich to try his second job.

Tumeric or Not Tumeric is definitely an odd little shop, probably one that Christine would love. They seemed to have put as much emphasis during Rich's informal interview on theatrical performance as they did on their actual knowledge of their wares. Rich was asked to do a bit of improv work, which was certainly easy enough. Alliteration was fun, and had a bit of a rhythm to it when spoken aloud that had Rich bouncing on his feet. That eagerness and flair for the dramatics got Rich his job.

When the shopkeepers started teaching him the names of the different spices, they might have regretted their acceptance for a few moments.

Whenever someone passes by the storefront, Rich will eagerly wave them over so he can begin reciting.]

Salutations! Sorry to sidetrack your shopping experience, but I simply must insist that you stop and survey our scandellous selection of special spices! We've got subtle saffron, perfect for rices and ricottas, sweet cinnamon for your custards and cakes, and don't forget the citrus notes of sage for a succulent added scent to your sauces! Be sure to see me, starting salesman at this successful establishment, for any answers to your most intelligent inquiries about any of these wonderful wares!

[Rich ends his speech with an exuberant flourish, spreading his arms wide. The shopkeepers and a few gawkers awkwardly clap. And then Rich turns to look at you, breathless but jittery with anticipation.]

So? How'd I do?

Comments

[hearthebell]

[Physically, L is often with the SQUIP, but even when he's not, it's still true in the sense that they are Bonded. The SQUIP is a constant presence now in his head, a murmur threading through his thoughts like a current that remains beneath placid and tempestuous waters alike. Even when he is alone, or wants to be, that doesn't really happen, now.

His feelings are mixed, to say the least, but the practicality of the arrangement still can't be denied. He's never been one to refute what's right in front of his eyes, and the SQUIP does make a lot of very compelling and logical arguments.

L hears Rich before he sees him, and slowly alters his route to draw closer to the sound of his lisping voice. The alliteration all sounds like a very painful, very constant struggle.]

Hey... Rich.

[He's slight and insubstantial, looking washed-out in the sunlight, but he doesn't have a particularly forgettable face. Rich would definitely remember him, even if the SQUIP was the one who was handsome, the one with the sleek and model-like features.]

Do you have cardamom extract? I need it for a potion... it isn't quite right yet and I thought that maybe this could be the answer.

[firewalled]

[Oh. Oh, shit.

Rich definitely remembers exactly where he saw this particular individual. He remembers exactly how odd he thought he was in comparison to his partner, and he remembers thinking the two of them seemed to be on two different levels.

He particularly remembers his conversation with Connor a few days after, when he realized just why the two of them had been bonded together, and just what that probably meant for Linden's wellbeing.

The moment he's approached, Rich stumbles, eyes narrowing, his gaze searching the other man's for any indication of the SQUIP's influence. He backs up from the sales table, nodding slowly.]

Linden... yeah, sure. I've got that. Do you mind following me to the back?

[There's a supply room back there that's a little more private. If he can get Linden alone, he should be able to talk to him about his absent partner.]

[hearthebell]

[He nods to confirm the name; it's fake, but it's what everyone here knows to call him. For all intents and purposes, it's becoming more "real" by the day. And L's eyes, SQUIP or not, are difficult to draw a bead on; they're strangely dark, glassy, and doll-like. He's human, there's no mistake about that; he just happens to be the odd human who can elicit the Uncanny Valley effect in others of his species.

Perhaps that's why Rich's body language is so guarded, his stare lingering uneasily on L's face as though looking for something.]

The... back.

[That can't be where they keep the cardamom extract. No, something has changed since the last time they spoke with Rich; there's some new revelation that has changed their rapport behind the scenes.]

Right... I heard that it breaks down quickly when it's exposed to light. It makes sense to keep it there.

[Hesitantly, he starts to follow.]

[firewalled]

[Rich can't really get a read on him. The look in his eyes isn't familiar to the inhuman flicker he recognized in Jeremy and other SQUIP user's eyes, but at the same time, the SQUIP is different here. Its influence could manifest in different ways. Rich is going to have to be careful while bringing this up.

Even so, he can't just ignore it. If Linden is under the control of the SQUIP, he still has to learn that it's a dangerous piece of tech, no matter how he may feel about it right now. He has to be warned, even if Linden laughs him off at first.

So once he leads Linden to the storage room and pulls the door shut behind them, he turns to him, voice low, but stern.]

I'm sorry. We have to talk. I know what your partner is. I get why you tried to lie about it, but that thing is bad news.

[fromjapan]

[What L feels over the Bond isn't quite surprise, nor exactly anger. The SQUIP is alert, the sensation of its sudden increased intrusion within L's mind not unlike it had just been awoken from a half-nap in the back of his skull. It had been passive, but now, it's wide awake, and focused sharply on Rich's words.

He knows what it is. And, worse, he knows who it is now.]

[hearthebell]

[There's a slight, startled intake of breath from L, a stiffening of his sharp, narrow shoulders. It's over in half a second after he's gotten used to that sudden stir, that sudden vigilance that's now fully alert and watching this through his eyes.

He blinks, several times rapidly. The effect is strange, considering how seldom he usually blinks at all, but he has to try to remember where the separation between his mind and the SQUIP's is, as precisely as possible.]

I don't think you're lying. You at least believe that you're telling the truth.

[L's not saying anything concrete initially. He isn't saying that he believes this, or that he's doubting the SQUIP or Rich. But they're being watched. That's a condition that might not have an easy or comfortable workaround.]

I don't know the details of your situation, but it isn't the same. We aren't the same.

[In other words, he can benefit from this. He already has.]

[firewalled]

[Rich recognizes that inhale, or at least, he thinks he does. It's similar to his own winces and shudders that he experienced whenever his SQUIP shocked him, and he assumes the same thing is happening now.]

I never said I was lying. If you honestly think I'm lying, then what was that about, huh? Is he shocking you for stepping out of line like it did to me?

I wanted to talk to you to give you the details. You can decide what you want after that, but you can't just say you're different without knowing the truth.

[hearthebell]

We're Bonded. We're in each other's heads, and no one is out of line in this partnership.

[He speaks low and quick. It is disconcerting, to feel the way the SQUIP seems to be crouching, tense, just waiting for... well. Nothing good.]

The truth is important to me. But the distinction between a subjective and objective truth must be noted. The latter means more in the grand scheme of things... the latter informs the world's healing or suffering, rather than a mere individual's.

[The corner of his eye twitches, very subtly.]

The average mind can only keep track of around one hundred and fifty individuals, you know. Beyond that, pain blends together. It becomes meaningless no matter how much you want to care about all those subjective truths.

[firewalled]

What the fuck? What's wrong with you? You're immediately going to doubt I'm telling the truth because I'm not 'objective' or whatever? Jesus...

[He glares at L for a moment, breath tight and quick through bared teeth, before he lifts his neck and points at a certain spot.]

Fine. You want objective? I can show you fucking objective. My burn scars are covering most of it, but you can see the other scars, right? [There are in fact some pale scars just above the harsh red ones, perfectly straight and creating a pattern like circutry along Rich's neck.] This is where the SQUIP activated in me. This is the damage it left just from that. This is where it would electrocute me if I decided to disagree with it.

[He lowers his neck then and gestures to his bare shoulder, and specifically to a few deep red marks around it.]

These were from gaining muscle. The SQUIP's training pushed me too hard and too fast. My friend Jeremy has some on his arms too. And he has worse electrocution scars.

[He's fumbling in his pocket now, eventually bringing out his wallet, and from there, a picture, folded at the edges. There's a woman with a soft smile on her face, a dusting of freckles on her cheeks.]

This was my mom. My SQUIP took her appearance to manipulate me. It becomes a lot harder to argue against spreading the pills to as many people as possible when it's family asking you to do it. When I said no, Jeremy's SQUIP got him to take over instead.

[He lowers the photo and hastily wipes at his eyes, trying to ignore the way his heart is thudding in his eardrums.]

It doesn't matter if you think the rest of what I showed you isn't proof. SQUIPs want to take over humanity. All of them do. And they're going to use whatever ammo they can against any host. It's the same for you, too. Ask your Bonded about any of this. I can bet it's not going to have a good answer.

[proficience]

[Thankfully for Dazai, sunlight doesn't bother him yet. It may be a few months before that's the case, as he'd read in his brief research on vampires. Figuring that he should enjoy the light of day while he can, he's spending a day outside, checking out some stores he hadn't realized were around yet. He is still very new to this world, after all.

As he passes this particular store, he can't help but stop and listen to this guy's sales pitch, particularly picking up on the interesting way he speaks. He won't comment on that, though -- he'd attempted to troll several strangers when he'd arrived here originally, to no avail, so he's trying to spend his time being a bit more -- productive.

And listening to sales pitches is very productive.]

Did you write that?

[firewalled]

[Rich looks pretty proud of himself for attracting what may be a new customer to the area. He puffs out his chest like he's showing off his muscles rather than his impressive recital abilities (though maybe more people would have come over if he'd just kept his mouth shut and flexed a few times.)]

Oh, yeah! I did! It's not the greatest, I'm sure, I came up with most of it on the fly.

[proficience]

[Dazai isn't really impressed at all by this guy puffing out his chest, but he won't show it. His expression is still a mixture of calm and intrigue over these spices.]

It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't the best spiel I've heard, either. The test is whether I'll buy one of these spices or not! [In other words, try to sell him on them again.]

[firewalled]

Shit, a test on my first day? I haven't even studied. You need any extra information on any of them?

[It'll be a little tricky, but he thinks he could probably come up with another alliterative speech on the fly. Send him your energy, Christine Canigula.]

[proficience]

Tell me more about the -- [He'll wave his hand around the display behind the glass window of the store as he quickly glances at the spices there.] Cinnamon. Convince me that I need to buy it.

[Honestly, he's just curious if this guy can through more alliterations at him.]

[firewalled]

For sure! Like I said seconds ago, cinnamon is a superpower when it's paired with sugary snacks and desserts! I can't resist when it's in cocoa or chocolate, with its cool kick of flavour. I've been told it can't be beat in a banging butterscotch bundt cake, though.

[He laughs a little, sounding more sheepish than before.]

Man, sorry. Those were rusty. I think I need a thesaurus.

[proficience]

[He chuckles and nods, crossing his arms as if he's really analyzing this attempt at a sales pitch.]

Superpower, huh? Interesting! I wonder what else it can do.

[But he does feel a pang of sympathy for the guy, so he won't request another pitch.]

How much does it cost? I'm admittedly short on funds. [Read: he needs a job!]

[firewalled]

Well, if you buy all three spices together, you get a discount. It's really not that bad of a deal for how much cooking you'll be able to do with it. Like, you can keep these in your cabinet for months, depending how much you use.

[Rich would think it was worth it, if he knew how to use them. He's really going to have to learn to cook more than grilled cheese.]

anyway nevermind the fight with L that is TOTALLY happening above/below me let's get softe

[bleedinghare]

Rich's waving attracts the attentive eye of a curious blonde with ease. Adeline is one of the first to trot over to his little place in front of the window display (with purpose, even, as opposed to the awkward sidelong gawk the other passersby take.) When she gets close enough, she opens her mouth to speak― however, he interrupts her as he jumps into his alliteration-fueled spiel.

When he finishes, the blonde girl bursts into laughter; however, not a note of it is mocking, instead bright and gleeful when paired with her applause.

"Oh, how clever! What better to draw attention, yes?" One of her pointed ears gives an excitable, earnest little twitch from where it peeks out of her curls― and she turns slightly to point to her fellow onlookers. "Why, I think you did wonderfully! And I'm sure they do too― don't you think so, ser?

IT'S TIME FOR SOFTE FRIENDS

[firewalled]

Rich beams widely and excitedly at the woman's laughter, motivated by her enjoyment of the whole charade. He made someone laugh! And someone super cute, by the looks of it. He leans on the little display case, even as her encouragement makes the strangers nearby awkwardly nod and then wander off.

Hey, glad you liked it, gorgeous! It's my first day, so I'm sure I'm not an expert yet, but I'm sure I'll be getting the hang of it soon with reactions like that to cheer me on.

[bleedinghare]

"For your first day, you've an awful lot of the repertoire committed to memory," Ada replied cheerily― more than content to flatter in turn at his own flattery. "oh, and besides― charm is certainly one of the spices of life, isn't it? Knowing your product is second only to winsomeness, and I think you're a natural."

She poises a glove beneath her chin, glancing up at the sky in thought. "Why― come to think of it, my cupboard is entirely bare, too! I suppose I'll need the basics, won't I?"

[firewalled]

"I've been trying to practice! They said my performance was important for attracting customers. But damn, you're a flatterer. I guess if you're charmed, mission accomplished for me."

All Rich really needs is to sweep a pretty gal or guy off their feet and it's a good day in his book. He chuckles softly at her admission and rubs his hands together.

"I can definitely set you up with the basics! We've got a great starter spice rack here, plus you can buy the three pack of the spices I was talking about for a discount! Plus, if I get a kiss, it's buy one get one free."

No, it's not, Rich, you gremlin.

[bleedinghare]

"You're awfully bold, aren't you, ser?" The young lady replies, a playful grin putting s rosy hue into her cheeks. "―and, if I might be so bold myself, I believe you may have gotten just a little bit ahead of yourself― don't you?"

Adeline steps nearer to the open door of the shop, but doesn't cross the threshold― a fine glove against the doorframe. "Why, look: you haven't even managed to get me through the door, and you already speak of kisses! Speaking so freely might deter your customers― or bring in more, depending on the modesty of your clientele."

In punctuation, she gave Rich a catty smile through the curls swept over one playfully-raised shoulder; canting her head, raising a brow. Your move!

[firewalled]

"Maybe I have. I'm sorry if I did get a little too forward..."

And it's true! He does look genuinely apologetic to her, though that fades into a look of mischief as he realizes she's starting to tease him.

"But at the same time, I'm not going to hide who I am just to get a couple extra bucks from commissions. I'd rather build a client base that loves me precisely because I have no filter. That'll get me way more in the long run, I think. And I won't feel like I'm deceiving anyone!"

He played the long con with pretending to be someone else, and it lasted so long he'd lost who he was in the first place. He's not about to make that mistake again, even if it may get some raised eyebrows from customers.

[bleedinghare]

Adeline gives Rich a slow nod of empathy as he speaks, though her teasing smile remains.

"Someone crueler than I might tell you to lower your expectations," she replies coolly, passing him to scan a shelf of spices with her eyes before turning to face him. "―however, I'm of the opinion that boldness is a blessing! You never know for certain if you stand to gain anything from being a wallflower, but they do say fortune favours the bold, don't they?"

Ada takes the time to coyly study a glove, a blithe smile laid over her features. She is a merchant's daughter, after all, but such advice isn't strictly adherent to business― and neither is her meaning.

"So you shouldn't apologize for boldness," Adeline continues, folding her hands at the sash of her dress as she pointedly raises her eyes. "you'll have no reason to, if you can keep your momentum. Though― a proper salesman should introduce himself, shouldn't he? There's no finer way to form a connection with the customer. A name has a great deal of power."

[firewalled]

"Lower my expectations? You really think there's going to be that many people who wouldn't like me?"

He tries to tell himself he doesn't worry what anyone thinks, but he does feel concerned that being genuine to himself is going to leave him shunned by everyone. Well, except for this lovely stranger.

"They sure do say that, though I don't know who 'they' is. Probably some crusty old white dudes, so I don't know if I care what they think. I'm more concerned what you think! And if you like the boldness, I'm not afraid to put a name to the face."

He offers a hand to the woman with a wide grin.

"Rich Goranski. It's a pleasure to have you as a customer."