middaeg | open catch-all + closed prompts for August

[She is so often resting her head against his shoulder that if she weren't to seek this particular closeness out, he'd assume something was amiss between the two of them. His adjustment on holding on her is near reflexive, serving as wordless reassurance that the space is hers for as long as she likes and that she is safe there.]

I hadn't given it much thought in the moment. I was a little preoccupied at the time with something a little more important, [he admits freely, making no effort to temper his grin. Cats who got both the canary and the cream have probably looked less satisfied than him. But despite the look on his face, he doesn't really make the remark to fluster her even if it ends up having that effect; it simply is the truth. Most of the thought that Ozymandias has put into the change in her hair color came well after that morning, when she wasn't there.] I assume it is a spell of some sort, however.

[He has other assumptions. Or rather suspicions based on whether or not that's true. She hasn't spoken much of her past in great detail, only providing enough for Ozymandias to know the fear she carries with her is so intimately linked with guilt and that she's run far, far away from it. When taking into account that and her hat, her glasses, her tendency to make herself as small as possible...]

[Ozymandias won't speak to any of it right now, however. He will alow her the space to do as much.]

[ He hadn't meant to fluster her with that remark, but it certainly found that mark, Ursula stammering some as her cheeks flushed, keenly remembering what he'd been preoccupied with, his every action embroidered into her memory with beautiful silk that would remain ever more, she figured. But that didn't make it any simper for her to recall without becoming a blushy mess over it. ]

Y-yes, it's what we call a 'glamour' in the magic world. What you saw was my natural hair... The spell's mostly subconsciously controlled, kind of like breathing or blinking or anything else that's not entirely voluntary. But in moments like that, the power slips...

[Her explanation is straightforward and makes a great deal of sense with what he observed. The moment things between them tipped in a particular direction, whether it was moving towards more intimate forms of physical intimacy or settling in for their shared nap, her hair changed its color.]

In that case, I look forward to seeing your natural hair again.

[Although he's certainly cruel enough to actually aim for flustering her now that she's already flushed and stammering, he says this in a lower tone to keep it between them even when already more or less alone as it is.]

[ How much he endeavored to keep those words between them didn't soften their impact and how much her cheeks burned. Her grip in his hand tightened some, squeezing as her body tensed and twisted slightly, losing her step and stumbling against him, more than just her head coming to press against him, which... just made things all the worse. ]

S-sorry, I just... tripped a little there.

[Although Ozymandias chuckles at how quickly his words manage to trip Ursula up, he's not laughing at her. If he were, he wouldn't pause a moment, holding her study until she seems sure on her feet again like he does after she stumbles into him.]

No need, [he says, dismissing the apology, resuming their movement.] I'm pleased to know I've left such a strong impression. Especially when it would seem you hold as much enthusiasm towards the prospect as I do.

[Ozymandias decides to show Ursula a modicum of mercy then and return back to the original point. Granted, unlike how he gave her time to get her physical footing back on her, he doesn't offer much space or a segue for her to do so mentally, but moving along and brushing past something is his own personal form of recovery. It seems it would be just as helpful to her as it often is for him.]

Is my assumption that this glamour of yours is a means of hiding in plain sight correct?

[ Thankfully, it worked, and got her mind off of intimacy quickly enough, though she was a little hesitant to just cop to its purpose that readily too, bothering her lip for a moment before finally nodding, letting out a sigh. ]

That's the aim. [ He already knew there was a part of her, her past, that she had a... complicated relationship with, to say the least. She knew he was intuitive enough to put it all together. ]

Which... means 'Ursula' isn't my birth name, either.

Edited 2019-08-10 04:54 (UTC)

[Surprise slips into Ozymandias' expression at the mention of her name. While he had gathered that she was attempting to disguise herself and doing so to escape her past, he hadn't imagined she'd gone so far to separate herself from it by creating a new name.]

[It makes sense, of course, once she says it. Names are powerful things. They have meaning and weight. Whatever her birth name might be, the weight of her past is clearly too much for Ursula's heart to bear all the time. Parting from it was a slight relief of that guilt by removing such an explicit reminder. And the creation of "Ursula" was empowering. Maybe not to such an extent that she could become the person she wanted to be exactly -- that was likely too terrifying a thought for her even now -- but she could cultivate something for herself.]

[Even so, he hadn't anticipated it and he's quiet for just a brief moment as he allows that surprise settle, expression moving back to something gentler and equally quiet.]

Is it the name you want to be?

[Ozymandias doesn't ask for her birth name. It's less a matter of whether or not he feels a right to know it (as he is entitled to all things as far as he's concerned) or a lack of curiosity, but that he accepts this person in his arms as she is, as she was, and who she might yet be. The real question is how far has she come in doing the same? Only she can define that, not Ozymandias.]

[ His thoughts weren't far from the truth, but Ursula's regard for herself, for the person she used to be, was even more muddy and grey than that. And while Fang and Ozymandius both had helped her so much in coming to terms with the ever shifting barriers between 'Ursula' and 'Chariot', she still wasn't certain if the border was ready to come down entirely. It still hurt to think about her past, about what 'Chariot' had done, how many people she had let down, the dreams she had stolen away just so she could 'shine'.

But she had been slowly rediscovering that 'shine' over time. Back home, she'd found it for Akko's sake, to help her and to help stop Croix's mad ambitions, and again to help Croix herself find her senses and know that Chariot still loved her despite everything that had been done. "A believing heart is your magic" was something she still held faith in, as dark as any moment got. In this world, it showed in her work and endeavors to help the mirrorbound in any way she could, to bring comfort to others, to use her knowledge to find paths home...

But was she ready to be 'Chariot' again? All signs pointed to... no.

But maybe for him, she could be, in private moments like this. He'd already seen 'Chariot' that morning when they'd...

Maybe he could know 'Chariot', too. ]

It's not really a matter of want... [ Her words were soft, but not weak. This was important. ] It's a matter of just having a name I can live with. But even if I'm 'Ursula' to everyone else in this world... You've already met 'Chariot', haven't you?

[There had been no denying that morning that the light he'd worshipped was her. It was her that had grown so bold and confident in her desires that she would demand them of Ozymandias. But it was obvious that the one speaking of her desires was not entirely Ursula. It was someone else. Someone who had been locked away for fear of the repercussions, the harm that her release might cause. Ozymandias didn't have a name for her in the moment, knowing only that she was someone Ursula spent so much time in hiding from...]

[The person Ursula entrusted to Ozymandias was named Chariot.]

[Bringing them to a gentle stop, Ozymandias separates enough from her to hold her face in his hands and all he can think for a moment is that there is so much beauty in her quiet strength. He rubs her cheek lightly with one of his thumbs, suspecting that she cannot see that beauty for herself even now. All she can likely see is the struggle before her, the difficulty in embracing 'Chariot' as much as she's clung to 'Ursula.' Although Ozymandias' expression is serious, there is warmth in his eyes for her, hopeful that perhaps beyond her struggle she can see that. That she can still trust his affection for her to be without condition.]

Were it up to me, the brilliant light of your star would never dim, [he says, brushing some of her hair back behind an ear,] and I would have the whole of you always. But that is for you to give, not for me to take. If I should know you as 'Ursula' or as 'Chariot' is for you to decide.

[He pauses a moment before,]

You are precious to me. Regardless of your choice, nothing will change that.

Ramesses...

[ It was a much more poetic way of saying all of it, to be sure, but the meaning was clear. He accepted her for who she was, whether that was 'Ursula' or 'Chariot', and didn't demand her to be one or either. It was a liberating feeling, to be sure, and she found herself pressing against his hands, humming to herself as she thought it over.

It felt like there was no pressure at all, not from him at least, but even still... The affection of one as brilliant as him, a 'star' that 'shined' not unlike Chariot once did, couldn't erase so much guilt so easily. Coming to terms with herself, who she truly was, and learning to appreciate that person... that was work that would still take time. And some of the people that could help her; Akko, Diana, Croix... they all felt so far away...

Really, between him and Fang... she wondered if she really could do this, to finally find her true self again. ]

Nothing will change that... but I don't mind if you use the name 'Chariot', all the same. Maybe if you use it, it will start to feel better, again.

[Chariot...]

[Hidden away for so long, but finally perhaps ready to shine again by glimmering ever so bravely for him and ultimately for herself. His bright and radiant star.]

Chariot it is then.

[There is no question that if this helps, if it eases the weight she carries in her heart so that she might one day come to love herself once more, he will gladly call her by her name. Again and again.]

[He presses his lips to hers in a gentle kiss of gratitude and quiet praise. He keeps it brief as one hand finds the small of her back and the other finds her hand again. Ozymandias draws her back in close, allowing her to claim back her space against his shoulder if she wants to make use of it.]

[ It was remarkably easy for her to find comfort in that position, surrounded by his arms and resting against his shoulder and chest. Maybe it was because it was the first place she really embraced him, that day that now felt so long ago despite it really only being roughly over a month. Things did seem to run faster here, everything intensified by the innate magic of the world around him.

But she and Ramesses weren't bonded... despite that, it almost felt at times like they were. It wasn't as profound a connection as she had with Fang, but it felt just as important to her. Intimacy and affection, such important parts of being a witch in this world, would have been an impossible struggle for her if not for his patience with her, and his never wavering belief and admiration for her 'shine'. That itself... felt like a bond, still, even if not an official one. ]

I can never thank you enough... for all of this. I'd be really lost in this world without you.

[He comes close to teasing her not because he thinks her expression of gratitude is trivial, but because he thinks she does not give herself enough credit. He may have been the one to guide her, but she is the one who had to walk herself here to this point. He's confident in his belief that perhaps it would have taken her longer without him, but it would not have been such an impossible thing for her to do. She would have found her way eventually no matter how lost she might have become.]

[But he refrains from teasing her for selfish reasons.]

[Ozymandias told her once that he is still the Sun and the King of Kings. No matter the era or place, these are things that are intrinsic to who he is. But that illness during the month prior... It brought him lower than he thought possible and for a time, he had no control, lost in the whims of both the illness and the spells of those in the infirmary charged with his care. As much as he hates that she bore witness to his weakness, he is grateful to her for her near-constant presence by his sickbed. And even more grateful that it did not shake the way she thinks or feels about him.]

[Hearing that it is not merely Ramesses that believes in Chariot... It soothes a part of him that will let go of its anger in due time, but is not yet ready to do so. When so many here either don't even know of his name or hold it in the regard that it ought to be, her constant belief in what he is capable of is remarkable.]

I said once before that it was the will of the gods that we should find each other. I still believe that.

The gods, the stars... some sort of divine providence, perhaps. [ She didn't particularly believe in the entirety of coincidence herself. ] I never imagined I'd come across someone like you, but in the absence of paying thanks to whatever forces guided us together, I should at least pay thanks to the things you've done yourself.

[He chuckles quietly.]

Then, in that case, I am satisfied with your companionship as an expression of your gratitude. I will permit you to pay tribute in this way for a long time to come.

[ Chariot let out a content, soft sigh as she settled against him once more, her tone dropping to a whisper. ]

What I'm trying to say is... you didn't have to do this, any of this. But I'm glad you did.

[As she settles, he holds her close. His hold as always firm but not unyielding.]

As am I.

open catch-all + closed prompts for August

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