middaeg | open catch-all + closed prompts for August

[She shook her head.It seemed she was not beloved or cherished like some children were; instead...]

When I was a small child-a toddler when she died. Far too young for such discussions or even to be certain that I inherited her gift.

That is unfortunate.

[Even if Caren does not necessarily see it as being so. (She does appear to quite frequently accept whatever it is that might befall her; whatever frustrations she may hold being kept quiet and private.) Ozymandias was fortunate enough in his life that his parents lived long enough to see him reach adulthood, his mother not parting from the world of the living until nearly his first Sed festival. He could not imagine his life having been any other way.]

Is it the Church that raised you then?

Ah, you remembered.

[Her mention of the Church that is. She was turning the coffee cup in her hands, idly, instead of helping herself. She didn't know all of Ozymandias' history but...she was certain that he was loved and beloved, by not only his family, but by his world. She couldn't blame them either. He was a little like the sun, in how he brought people in with his sheer brightness.]

You are correct. They did raise me.

I should apologize. I feel...this must be depressing to hear, and quite honestly, that was not my intent.

[Ozymandias considers his next words for a moment. He has no desire to lie to her and tell her that it isn't something that inspires a bit of sadness, but he also does not particularly want her to feel guilty for having said any of it.]

It is an unfortunate thing, but I do not anticipate that my questions will be met with happy answers. I would rather the truth no matter how unfortunate it might be than a pretty lie.

[She stops fussing with her cup, and she watches him briefly. It's difficult to say what she's thinking. Even more perhaps when she bows her head and smiles.]

A true sign of a king, isn't it? Or just a man who lives in the real world? Maybe it's both.

Thank you Ozymandias. There are few people who I could speak the truth and meet it unflinching.

[And just because:]

And no, this was not some twisted way to ensure you'd make the first move out of pity.

[He chuckles softly, shaking his head.]

I would never insult you and do anything out of pity for you, Caren.

[Tragic as her life appears to have been prior to coming to Aefenglom and even with the continued forms of misery once in this world, Ozymandias does not see it as a reason to pity her. She does not seem to take her experiences as mere misfortune and instead, developed some form of strength from all of it. That makes Caren far from pitiable.]

Anything I might do, you would be safe to assume that it is because I desire to do so for any number of reasons other than pity.

You may be one of the few who won't.

[Which puts her at ease, not surprisingly. And yet-while she has changed, has become something else, she can still do what she considers important to her. And that's all that matters.]

Or at least one I trust not to lie about it. Is it strange that it feels...

Refreshing?

[Ozymandias has another sip of his coffee, nearly but not quite finishing it off.]

For you, I do not think it is quite so strange.

[From what she has described, it sounds as though she has had a number of manipulators. Some perhaps had noble intentions behind their manipulation of her, others less so. But the motivation hardly matters so much as it has likely continued eating at her ability to trust what others might say.]

[He finishes off his coffee.]

It is no small thing to be in possession of your trust. [He smiles at her.] I will take care not to misuse it.

[She moved to set her cup on the table, but it was to refresh her cup. She motioned to see if he would want more for herself. If nothing else, she was well trained-maybe too well trained-when it came to manners at times.]

I can only hope you will not.

[She offers a small smile back. It's not sarcastic for once, or filled with hidden intentions.]

But if it happens...well. No harm will come to you. It'd only be a mistake.

[On both their parts.]

[He laughs, placing his cup back on the table.]

I appreciate your reassurances, [he says, clearly feeling them to be unnecessary. Whether it was a belief that Caren would not strike back at him or simply his usual confidence in himself is anyone's guess.]

[Caren, surprisingly, laughs. Even as she adds milk and sugar to her new cup of coffee, she seems amused. It's hard to say if it's just due to his confidence or his belief in her kindness.

Because she wouldn't strike out: she'd only be disappointed.]

And I appreciate your confidence.

[Maybe it just helps that he doesn't call everyone mongrel and make a point of standing above everyone.]

[There's never any mistaking that Ozymandias views himself as superior to everyone. He declares it with every utterance of his titles and all his unspoken expectations for obedience and subservience to his might and radiance. But it's also surprisingly far easier to forget that at any point in his lifetime he was a tyrant with just as firm and strict a rule as the other golden king because he has never been quite so cruel. In claiming himself an incarnation of Ra, as the sun allows for all life on Earth to thrive and grow, so too must Ozymandias. Ozymandias fashions himself into someone who both protects and guides others, not one who oppresses and dominates them.]

[Smiling, he prepares his own second cup of coffee.]

I would not be much of a God-King if I lacked in that, now would I?

[It's such a confidence that surprisingly...for all of his need for others to bow his head, that it's not offensive. There is, after all, a difference between a tyrant and a king, especially a king that sees the need to guide his people.

Like a beam of sunlight causing a flower to flourish.]

Oh, you'd still be a God-King, but it wouldn't be as convincing.

[Which she really finds funny for some reason.]

[Ozymandias huffs a laugh at the mere notion that he must convince anyone of anything, but especially that.]

I believe that having to convince you of that would be enough for the gods to strip me entirely of all my divinity, Caren.

And that certainly would be a shame, wouldn't it?

[She laughed under her breath, sitting back carefully with her coffee.]

Rather, I wouldn't want to take away from what you are. It'd take away all the fun of flirting and thinking of possible ways to seduce you.

[He picks up his own coffee again, but stays seated forward.]

Still planning that, are you?

I never said I gave up, now did I?

It's all been a matter of timing.

Oh, is that it? [he asks with a small laugh.] And when will the timing be right? Or am I not allowed to know?

Well, I thought of surprising you but...I waver.

[She rolled her wrist briefly.]

I could have even attempted it here and now but I've little idea how you feel about my...additions. Especially after this little talk.

I've wondered since we first met what it is you want. At times, I haven't even been certain you knew the answer to that. [Ozymandias sets down his cup of coffee. Sitting back against the couch, Ozymandias tucks one leg up on the couch to face her. He takes one of her hands into his.] But if there has been one thing that's been consistent, it is your concern for what it is I think of you.

[He plays with her fingers for a moment, appearing to be almost studying them.]

Even though I am not the sort of person who makes it a habit to obscure my thoughts or opinions, it is wise to not presume that you know my mind. [Assumptions could be a fast way to create offense, and they both know it's not wise to offend Pharaoh.] And yet, I cannot help but wonder...

[Ozymandias stops playing with her fingers and looks at her directly once more.]

Is it truly wisdom in avoiding my offense or is it fear of my rejection that guides you?

[That...is surprising to realize. She thought that she really didn't think of what anyone thought and-usually that was true. Usually. But with this seduction...

What was she doing? Was she merely teasing him or could she not bring herself to go in for the kill? It wasn't the confidence of his that deterred her. She'd faced that and worse before. Then what?

Her expression changed. From the teasing glances and confidence, she deflated until she became...smaller. And troubled.

For a few moments she stared down at their fingers, without really looking at them.]

I don't know.

[She looked up at his face. That was the troubling, frustrating, even startling part: she didn't know. And she always knew her mind.]

I wasn't really thinking of why I wasn't-I just...didn't. Which...for me...that doesn't make sense.

[It is a noticeable shift in Caren as her confidence seems to leave her, and Ozymandias watches her carefully. The last time something similar to this happened, she was acting and trying to mold herself into something he might find pleasing. But there does not seem to be a trace of something disingenuous like that here. She seems to still be taking his request for her honest and true self quite seriously.]

Then let us think of it somewhat in reverse. Where there has been no grand attempt at seduction. [He scoots a little closer to her on the couch, holding her cheek in his free hand. His thumb strokes her cheekbone gently.] And yet I still invite you to share my bed. Do you accept without hesitation? Or do you decline?

Answer truthfully.

[He only reminds her of this because he is not a fool. He knows that it is not an easy thing to deny him, the King of Kings, anything. Even hypothetically. But he is asking not for an answer to the question of sharing his bed. He is asking for her honesty right now.]

[She wasn't trying to pretend modesty this time. If the flicker of surprise told him anything, she was being completely honest and taking it seriously.

And, it seemed, she wasn't used to being touched either. She's careful, hesitant to lean against his fingers, as if she's expecting him to draw his hand away, or for it to suddenly become painful.]

I would like to accept. I feel...there would be a joy in this that I'm rarely privy to.

However...I admit that with knowing my changes...I am strangely self conscious. Strangely, for I am unused to feeling this way about myself.

[In her words. In her actions. In her wanting.]

[Even if she did not admit to feeling self-conscious, to how alien it is to experience, it's plain in all her hesitations.]

[She seems so different from who she was just moments ago. Before, she was exactly as she had been two months ago; clever and possessing some control if not over the situation then at the very least over herself. Now she seems almost afraid of even reaching for control. The responsibility of it, the weight of the consequences, seems to have made her small and paralyzed her.]

[Ozymandias leans in closer to press a kiss to her forehead. It's not an action meant to belittle or pity, but quiet comfort.]

[As much as he might take a guess at what exactly it is that has created this self-consciousness within her, Ozymandias cannot name it for her with perfect certainty. In the end, only Caren is capable of doing that. But he is willing to be as present as she might need him to be as she figures it out.]

[It's maybe too honest. But her shying away...it's not possible. Foolish. He knows where she lives, and more importantly...she doesn't run away. From anything. She certainly won't run from her honesty, even if the unfamiliar feelings are uncomfortable.

The kiss on the forehead was...so, so strange. People never kissed her on the forehead. She never knew what to do with it but...perhaps...she tilted her head up, and kissed Ozy gently on the mouth.

Slow. Undemanding. Before she slowly pulls away.]

I think knowing for certain...it won't come quickly nor will there suddenly be a perfect answer. However...while I may need to consider, I should not let this become a barrier.

I believe that may be the most logical path.

open catch-all + closed prompts for August

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