Through a glass, darkly...

[darkestbefore]

Who: Yona and friends, or those wandering by
When: Early in May
Where: Outside the Looking-Glass House, around Aefenglom, her cottage
What: Yona is drawn to her Mirror and comes away with more than she bargained for.
Warnings: sad things??? also spoilers for current manga arc, I guess...


A. Long-Sought Answers
( semi-open, to friends or anyone wandering by the Looking-Glass House )

[ She's not even aware of being drawn when she wanders out of her cottage early this morning, only that there's a restless feeling inside of her tugging, pulling... It's not until she faces the Looking-Glass House that she gets an idea of what's happening. Not that she's experienced this before, but she's heard of such things. Not resisting that pull she can feel, she steps inside and climbs the stairs, stepping into one of the smaller rooms that holds a mirror carved of bright cherry wood and carved with the intricate shapes of four entwined dragons. It's been so long since she's been here that she'd almost forgotten about it entirely, but as she reaches out to brush her fingers over one of the dragon figures encircling her mirror, there's not a speck of dust to be found on the frame.

It's then the reflection in her mirror wavers and she feels herself falling to her knees, vision caught by the reflection that plays out like a dream. It's like it opens some locked part of her memories as new knowledge flows in and settles into place, as if she'd somehow forgotten something as important as all of this. Which was impossible, with what she learns - relearns? - and as she watches memories spill out across that reflection. Familiar faces, familiar voices, ones she hasn't seen in so long now that she cries at the sight of them, missing them with a fierce heartache that reopens and burns through her again as she presses her fingers against the mirror's surface as if that would be enough to reconnect her.

And then the memories of finding a book, a memoir, penned in a delicate but unfamiliar hand, holding the secrets that have haunted her since that first fateful day when her world crumbled around her. The knowledge passed on from her aunt, a woman she barely remembers, but one who had held all the secrets she'd been missing to understand what had come about before of her mere existence. And then her father's words, that handwriting far more familiar but still something she hasn't seen in so long...

It brings up old memories she'd long forgotten. Brings new memories she struggles to acclimate with everything else she knows. And long after the mirror fades once more back into a mere reflection, she still kneels there, shaken, tears streaming down her face as she grieves - for what she now knows, for what she hadn't before. For losses that feel fresh and raw and new all over again.

She doesn't know how much time passes before she walks away from her mirror again, but there's something disconnected in her manner, her thoughts still lost in memories as she descends the staircase and wanders back out of the house. But even then, it's only to sink down on the stairs outside the Looking-Glass House, arms wrapped around her knees as she stares off into nothing, her eyes red and her cheeks stained with tears. ]

B. Heartache
( closed to her Bonded, close CR )

[ She's not even aware of how much of her emotions are leaking down her Bond. Her thoughts and her heart are in such turmoil that part of her is numb to it, the icy shock of grief. She ends up back at her cottage, although even she isn't sure how, not remembering her passage from the Looking-Glass House to there. She goes through the motions of making tea, but really, it's only to keep her hands busy. To do something, even as her mind struggles to come to terms with the new knowledge she holds.

But later she can be found out in her garden, cup of tea growing cold beside her as she stares off into nothing, deeply lost in her own thoughts. Her eyes are still reddened, still show signs of tears, but she sits quietly, subdued, the air of sadness thick around her. It's so deep she might not even realize if someone else approaches her - unusual for her. Ao is curled up on her lap, apparently asleep as her fingers absently stroke over the small squirrel's head, taking comfort in her presence, although there's something about the Princess at the moment that feels very... desperately alone. ]

Comments

[futhark]

[ Caster slowly puts his arm around her, putting a grounding hand on her shoulder. It rests light for a time of few breaths, that's how long he can make it before he clutches her closer.

He opens himself on her sorrow, not knowing what she mourns, but accepting all the feelings without judgment. ]

[darkestbefore]

[ She doesn't resist. IN fact, the feeling of his arm tugging her close against his chest has her crumbling all over again, pressing her face against the soft fabric of his clothing, fingers clutching with a white-knuckled grip. Shoulders shake under his hand, but if she's crying, the sobs are utterly, eerily silent.

She can feel him fling open the Bond wide between them and she soaks up that heated warmth, the comfort of it.

It's only after several moments that she stills again, still resting against him. She may have gotten his robes a little wet, which she feels sheepish about as she loosens her hold, trying to smooth out any wrinkles she might have made. ]

Sorry, I...

[ Except she starts, only to trail off, because she's not even sure what she's apologizing for at the moment. ]

[futhark]

[ It's heartbreaking, seeing her cry in pain and being unable to make it go away. Not having answers. All he can do is be here, quiet and accepting. Any pain you go through, you don't have to hide it

Soothingly he strokes her hair, places a soft kiss on the top of her head. And just wills himself still, the pillar to lean on.

When she breaks the silence, so does he. ]

Shh— you don't have to apologize... [ Without thinking he puts his hand on her cheek. Another point of contact ] I'm here for you.

[darkestbefore]

[ His words draw a tiny hint of a smile from her, as tearful as it might be, and she leans into the warmth of that palm against her cheek. Her eyes slide closed for a moment, just soaking up that warmth.

Even though her memories were still churning in her mind, this is so familiar and that's comforting in its own way. She sighs softly, leaning until her forehead can rest against his chest. ]

I was leaking down the Bond, wasn't I? I didn't mean to worry you.

[futhark]

Would you rather hold that inside, and pretend nothing hurts?

[ The question comes in slow, almost carefully— Bonds only are what they are because people in them share them. Closing it off, even if inspired by the care for those you're bond to, sounds like a way to deteriorate it. At least in his book. (A book of a hypocrite, alas)

His embrace tightens ]

You don't have to pretend with me, Yona.

[darkestbefore]

[ Any other time, she might have given him a Look for that, because for Caster to be chiding her about pretending is irony of a different sort.

But for the moment, she just sinks into his embrace, soaking up the comfort from it. ]

I know. And... there has been enough pretending. Maybe if there had been a little less...

[ She closes her eyes when they sting again, fighting back another onset of tears. ]

[futhark]

[ Cú pressed his fingertips along her jaw, under it, directing her face up so he could gently brush off the tears, and place a kiss on her cheek. So close, he could almost feel, almost entwine with the emotions that weighed her. That's where he builds a bulwark of the faith he has in her ]

Tell me... Tell me your truth.

[ He quelled building anger, on whatever force is that made her feel such despair. ]

[darkestbefore]

[ Her eyes close for a moment. She can feel that well of emotion deep within him. She takes shelter in it for a long moment, hiding in it, almost. Because everything in her own head right now felt so desolate and shaken. ]

I felt a calling this morning. To... Back to the mirror house. I'd never felt that before. it had never even occurred to me. I didn't even realize where I was going until I was just... there.

[ She rubs at her eyes, taking a shuddering breath. ] I saw... home. Memories. Memories I have now that I didn't have before, as if I'd dreamed of living a longer life there. It feels... confusing. And jumbled. But I know so much more that I...

[ She trails off, the words sticking in her throat and she takes a moment to gather the words that cut to the core of the heartache. ]

There are truths I have sought for a long time, before I ever came here. Truths and secrets that haunted me with no answer in sight. I thought... I thought if I could only discover them, that things would make more sense. That I'd be able to understand. That maybe my past wouldn't hurt so much.

Only it seems that discovering them have only tangled things even more deeply. There was no answers in the secrets. Only a greater conundrum.

[ One that she now had no idea what to do with. ]