Event Log: April, Tangled Terrors Part Two

[faileas]

Event Log: April, Tangled Terrors Part Two

Hopefully you and your fellows have prepared yourselves for the trial that comes next, with supplies and backup, because it could be days until you see the city of Aefenglom again. Slashing down the curtain of blackened roots that bar entry to the source of all this trouble will open up access to a truly massive cavern, the ceiling of which is far, far over your heads. Unlike everywhere else in the Underground so far, slats of light from aboveground filter in through cracks in the ceiling of varying sizes, where thick, sickly roots penetrate the surface and reach down, down, down, hanging like stalactites or wrapping around the mass at the center of the chamber. There it is, the pulsing louder than ever, a steady drumbeat of unease: a beating, throbbing mass of Cwyld, easily as large as one of the bigger buildings in Aefenglom. Pitch black in color, it’s attached firmly to the coiling roots of what must be a huge tree above, leeching from it like a parasite and reaching dark vein-like fingers into the leyline. This is an ancient, well-established thing that must have laid dormant for a long time, newly awoken by the efforts to clear away infection in the tunnels close to it. With every beat of this hideous heart, the problems that plague the Underground, Aefenglom, and the Mirrorbound grow incrementally worse. It’s easier to feel out the leyline here, even for those who may not be sensitive to such things, and its poor condition is enough to fill even the stoniest heart with empathetic, deep-rooted despair - the magic here is badly tainted, the land dying all around you.

I. The Screaming Tree It’s possible to climb the winding roots up to the world aboveground, wriggling through the cracks in the earth’s ceiling. The Cwyld is deep-set here, the grass ashen gray and withered, crumbling under your feet, the plants black and twisted into strange shapes or simply dead, collapsing into dusty husks at the slightest brush. The ancient tree before you is just as dead, its branches long bare, its bark crumbling and leaving bone-white patches of the raw wood visible in the trunk. It might have been beautiful once, homey, its roots spread wide and forming natural hollows and bowers to rest in, but that was a long, long time ago. Before something terrible happened here. Look closer at the trunk, and bear witness to the faces of two dozen humanoid creatures who seem like they were partly absorbed into the tree and frozen there, their expressions a tableau of horror, fear, despair, many of their mouths twisted into screams. Men, women, there are even a couple of faces that seem so, so very young, held in place inside the dead tree by black, pulsing veins. Their long limbs are outstretched like branches, as if they’re reaching for you, desperate for help. Black, oily sludge constantly leaks from their unmoving eyes like tainted tears. The Dryads died out a long time ago, fallen to the Cwyld, that’s common knowledge, but now you’re seeing it for yourself. The pulsing mass of Cwyld below overtook this tree, and the Dryads who no doubt lived among its roots and branches. "Can thou feel their cries? The hopelessness wrought deep in their souls?" comes a larger than life voice near you, laden with despair of her own to see the evidence of lives cut tragically short. “I remember this place. It was a Dryad settlement once, long ago.”

II. Guardian's Blessing The source of the voice may be familiar to some: Creia, the guardian dragon of the earth, who was once freed from her own slumber thanks to Mirrorbound efforts; her scales are a vibrant, emerald color, evidence of her better health from her first true meeting with the Mirrorbound as a whole outside the boundaries of Aefenglom, and there's a sense of power in the words she speaks. The power that comes from long life, from an ancient being who has seen and experienced much. "Mine wings bore me as swiftly as they could," she says, settling into a sitting position in the dead grass, watching the tree with immeasurable sadness. "Thou hast seen what lies beneath, have thee not? The Cwyldheart." Her tone is nearer to disdain than sorrow, but there's a clear remorse in it as well. "I had not thought they existed still, but perhaps they merely laid dormant where my senses could not find them. This one poisons the very leyline that runs beneath thine Aefenglom." She goes on to inform all who are gathered that when she heard from you Mirrorbound that something was amiss, she came as quickly as she could to see the damage, and to try and offer her help if she can. Cwyldhearts, she tells you all, are masses where the infection is concentrated, where it has consumed a great amount of magic or lives, and when active, they cause powerful surges in infection all through the leylines they attach to. She wasn’t aware that any remained, and speculates that they hide themselves when they go dormant. This one is most assuredly active, and that means it won’t stop until it has consumed everything it can, turned every life from here to Aefenglom into an infected husk. But Creia, her talons scratching at the dead ground, and her gaze fixed on the tree, does not seem so willing to accept that. "Thou who hath been called by the world, thou hath proven thyselves capable of achieving the improbable before, have thee not? That I stand here now before thee is proof enough of that. Perhaps, should thee take heart and valor in hand, thou may be able to do so once more. Wouldst thou like to try?" In a surge of power, the ground immediately beneath her shifts, the grass changing color slowly from gray to white to green with new life, and she drags her claws through it to turn the earth, revealing large brown seeds shaped like teardrops, the size of footballs or ostrich eggs, nestled in the dirt. Despite their woody outer shells, she’s very careful with them as she offers a seed to anyone who steps forward to take one. "Each of these seeds contains a piece of my magic. Keep them safe, plant them in the center of the Cwyldheart, and add thy power to mine own. Yes, yes, those who are closer in form to myself as well, everyone with a spark of life in them can lend their voice to the chorus of this world. It will amplify thine abilities and thine hope for a better world, and enough of them should allow thee to destroy this blight for good." She casts a glance to the tree, to the frozen faces of the Dryads, something new entering her expression, something like hope. "And who knows what may happen then?" This mission is a dangerous one, but Creia sends off those willing to take it with a warm, heartfelt wish. "Thou must take care of thyselves, but be certain to take care of thy comrades as well. Thou shalt need one another."

III. Heart of Darkness You can’t put it off any longer. With seeds in hand, it’s time to venture back down below, to the pulsing Cwyldheart. The steady thump-thump, thump-thump resonates in your very bones, in the back of your brain that has your instincts screaming at you to run the other way. The twisted knot of blackened roots and veins at the center of the chamber does not welcome visitors, but it’s possible to slip through a gap between the tangles, into a darkness you’ve never known before. Whatever entrance you find closes up the moment you and your fellows step through it, and it becomes obvious quickly that either you will succeed here, or you’ll join those Dryads in the infected tree. Your Watch still works, at least - most of the time. The connection is quite spotty, and voices can come out sounding garbled and nightmarish on both sides, but with persistence, this is the only way you’ll be able to talk to anyone who isn’t on this mission with you. Otherwise, you’ll have to rely on your fellow volunteer heroes to help you through this. a. Inside the Cwyldheart The inside is much larger than the outside would suggest. Once your eyes adjust to the darkness, an easier feat for Monsters than it is for Witches, the true scope of this maze of tangled roots becomes clear. The walls move in and out like they’re breathing around you, some corridors much tighter and others feeling vast. In some, you can walk right side up, while in others, your feet remain on the ‘ground’ but the blood rushes to your head, the actual floor far below you. Time and space take on a dreamlike feeling, and you can’t tell if minutes have passed or hours, can’t tell if you’ve gone feet or miles, but Mirrorbound at least should be able to tell the difference between dreams and reality. This is all very real, and you won’t wake up miraculously fine if you get hurt down here. Negative feelings seem always at the forefront, paranoia and fear especially, filling those who venture here with the sense that they need to watch their backs. The air is thick and stale, damp and reeking of rot. The natural pathways that tunnel through the Cwyldheart like twisting arteries are lined with clusters of purple fungi, and very old, sludge-covered bones of the creatures it infected long ago. They’re rare, but occasionally blind Shades still wander within the chambers of the Cwyldheart, so twisted and mutated you can’t tell what they used to be. These are attracted to sound and motion, and by staying very still, you can generally avoid their attention. Everything in this place gets more dangerous once it gets the scent of those seeds you carry, though. As if sensing what they could do to it, it will react defensively. Protect those seeds; Shades will come after those who carry them, the roots in the walls and the bulbous mushrooms loosening and growing and lashing out. The Cwyld may sink its claws into you in an attempt to infect and consume those seeds - too much contact with the roots or the Shades may start to cause physical mutations in you, just like those mutations of the velvet wormipedes and the native creatures of the tunnels. Your limbs may change and twist, you may grow new blackened protrusions. It's painful, and disgusting, and if it goes too far, you may need to hand your seed off to someone you can trust, lest you sabotage the mission yourself. b. Heart on Your Sleeve As the hours pass within the Cwyldheart, things get… a little weird. Your sense of perception could feel off. It may feel like something is always watching you, like you have to keep looking over your shoulder every few minutes. Or you might feel utterly, utterly alone in the universe, even if someone is standing right next to you. Whatever makes you feel worse, it seems like. But then the strangeness gets more improbable, like the Cwyldheart itself wants to probe at your weaknesses, bring them out to the forefront to better get under your skin and make you lose hope in ever finding the center. All those things that have hurt you in the past, that left their marks on your mind, your soul rather than your body, surface as wounds or scars on your physical form. None of them will be debilitating or life-threatening in themselves, you won’t bleed out from your past broken heart, but they will be painfully obvious to those around you, and some may not handle that type of vulnerability well. The only thing that seems to ease the pain from these psychological wounds is talking about the events that caused them to another person, whether they be your Bonded or a total stranger, or just sharing an emotional connection of some kind. No one wants to discuss some of their worst memories or open up to a near stranger, but it might be necessary to keep yourself from being distracted or held back as you wander the maze of the Cwyldheart. c. A Helping Hand The rampant issues with Witches’ magic, with Bonds, even sometimes with Monsters; abilities, continue even here. With your proximity to the source, they are even stronger - but there is a way to alleviate the effects enough to progress. The land recognizes all bonds, even those that are unofficial, even those that are new. While you can hang on to your Bonded if you’re lucky enough to have them with you, friendships or familial relationships or a budding romance, the heat of a rivalry, or even the new and tenuous bond of two strangers brought together by mutual dangers can be used to your advantage. Physical contact with any of your fellow Mirrorbound, even just clasped hands, or a comforting hand on your shoulder, can make it easier to cast spells to light your way through the dark or fight off the few wandering Shades. It can give you the strength to use your abilities, not quite to their fullest, but better than you can use them alone. It will also help you protect those seeds you hold close to your chest. Your bonds, and your Bonds can help shield their presence from the Cwyldheart, making it safer to proceed. It’d be easy to push people away, especially bearing the physical representations of your deepest emotional hurts, but you’ll never survive that way. You’ll only make it to the center by coming together.

IV. Seeds of Hope In the real world, at least a week has passed before you and your fellows find the center of the Cwyldheart, though it may feel like only hours or it may feel like weeks to you, stuck in a place that ignores the conventions of the real world. The innermost chamber is a small space, tucked away, with sloping walls made of latticed roots littered with holes. This is the only place inside where a thin trickle of light filters down, weak, through a small hole in the ceiling. This chamber is vulnerable, all the strange defenses outside meant to protect it. The soil here is black with infection, but soft, easily dug with your hands or tools if you happened to have brought them. The perfect place to plant your garden of hope for the future of Geardagas. Once you’ve broken through to the innermost chamber, the pulsing seems to fade away, letting you think again, clearly, for the first time since you entered. The walls are still. You’ve made it this far and no more dangers will come for you. Plant the seeds you worked so hard to keep safe in the blackened soil, hold your friends tight, and plant a piece of your own innate magic with them. All your best intentions, all your joys, all your light. Let it bloom. The seeds take root quickly, and bloom they do, growing fast and strong and pulsing with magic, Creia’s bolstering your own to make something bright and brilliant. The resulting plants grow huge in a matter of minutes, twining together in harmony. Maybe you can even tell which seed you have carried, because the plant is a larger version of something significant to you, or it bears colors that represent you. They form a sheltered bower, and spread upward, pushing away the blackened walls, sinking fresh green tendrils into the bigger roots of the dead tree. The Cwyldheart crumbles around you. The black recedes. The leyline fills with fresh magic and pulses with new life. A gentle warmth wraps around you like a blanket and heals your wounds and banishes any infection you picked up. It will keep working over the next few days, the new life sinking in, banishing the Cwyld entirely from the Underground caverns and weakening its hold above. It will gradually bring life again to the ancient tree and make it bloom once more. At this point, you can stick around to watch it happen, or you can return home with the good news, and trust in what you helped to start. With the destruction of the Cwyldheart, all its negative effects will fade. Your Bonds will snap back into place and right themselves from the Dryad Tree clear into Aefenglom. You might feel the phantom ache of that loss for some time more, but the moment it’s destroyed, everyone will know that all will be well.

Welcome to Tangled Terrors, Part Two! This part takes place entirely at the site of the Cwyldheart, but anyone is welcome to do Watch threads on this log to communicate with the group they aren't part of (staying home vs expedition team). We'll be posting a small wrap-up at the very end of the month that will describe the aftermath and the rewards characters will reap for their efforts, but it won't be a full event post of its own. As always, you're welcome to use this log or make your own, and please make sure you warn for any content that might be disturbing to others! And lastly, please direct your questions here. Have fun!

Comments

[yesdoubt]

[The fastening of his shirt back up to his neck means there's a moment where the clawing and bruising marks at his voicebox are particularly noticeable as well before he covers them up...or half covers them up, since that's about all his shirt's neckline naturally covers. He does pull his turtleneck collar up a bit further to try and hide it more, but it doesn't sit that way very long.

He doesn't stop her from sitting next to him, either, though he's tense to the touch in a way he tries to force down a bit as well. It's not as if anyone can really relax properly in this situation, but he's too worried about Yuki being down here as well to come anywhere close to unwinding from constant vigilance. That need to bring himself and his partner out the other side does at least mean that he shares in her determination, and something of it comes out to meet what Alice is offering, like fuel to feed a flame in its efforts to bolster then emotion.

That's the most honest emotion that comes out of him for the moment, though, because at Alice's question, he brings a bit of a smile onto his face.]

Yeah, I'm fine. It's a little messy, but I'm not worried about myself in the face of it or anything. [Because he never worries about himself when there's other people to worry about instead. Especially if it's Yuki. The joy of half-truths strikes again.]

If I can help out, then you can stay as long as you like. It's really not a problem, and I want to make sure everyone reaches the end of this in one piece.

[Momo welcomes this sort of support...as long as it's coming from him to someone else. It's when it goes the other way that he starts to get reclusive and secretive and stubborn.]

[adventageous]

[Alice looks Yuki over when he assures her he's fine, her expression disbelieving. She knows he's a fellow witch and therefore has to be feeling the effects, and the marks on his body have to have come from somewhere. They aren't as gruesome as hers, perhaps, but they're no less significant.

But she can't really judge him for holding that back. Wouldn't she do the same, if he had approached her in such a sorry state? It seems they have that sort of self-sacrificing nurturing in common. So she lets it go, at least for now, and focuses on the genuine feelings she feels flow through their temporary connection. He's concerned, and determined, and those are both feelings they share wholeheartedly.]

I want to see everyone get through this as well. It bothers me that I'm starting to falter; usually I'm one of the ones holding people up.

[Whether it was improving morale or tending to a bout of seasickness, she was the caretaker for everyone back home. God knows they wouldn't have taken care of themselves if left to their own devices.]

If you don't mind my asking... there are other bonds that I feel. [Vaguely, as they're bonds-of-a-bond, but enough that she can tell they are there.] Are your bondmates doing all right?

[yesdoubt]

[As well as those on his upper body, the marks on his ankles that match the ones on his wrists and the fissuring scar down the back of his left leg are visible momentarily, but as soon as he remembers that his chest wasn't the only thing he'd stopped to check, he moves to roll the legs of his pants down again. The movement seems natural enough, despite the speed of it - he doesn't want to come off as too hasty in covering it up.

The way Momo smiles a bit knowingly at what she says about it bothering her that she's starting to falter says he's having the same kind of problem. He's already had to get used to the fact that he can't protect his partner from everything here, but having had to allow him to see this through and then being in such a sorry state himself...it's weighing on him more than he's willing to admit. As much as Yuki tells him it's not burdensome to share his problems, this is just making him feel even more useless in the wake of what happened with the cult.

He doesn't really want to talk about it, though, so he seizes on the question as an easy out. One hand goes gently to his own chest - his left, the one with a rather uniquely designed black ring on the middle finger.]

Yeah. Lio didn't come down, and I've been keeping a close eye on Yuki...he's always been bad at expressing his feelings or if something's troubling him, so I've been trying not to let him out of my sight for the most part.

[And yet here Momo is, about as out of the way of the group as he can be without outright leaving the safe area. He's not stupid, so he wouldn't go that far just to find some privacy, but it's clear in this case he's made an effort to not be spotted.]

What about yours? I've noticed most people seem to have at least one Bondmate down here with them. [So while he's more asking after what he can feel, he's also curious whether she's keeping an eye on someone too.]

[adventageous]

[Alice is similarly content talking about other people for now. There's something companionable about the way they're sitting together discussing people they care about, despite how awful she feels, and that companionship is enough to start to take the edge off. If they must get into the darker details of their circumstances, that can come later.

She smiles a bit in recognition when Momo mentions his Bonded, leaning into him a bit more heavily without realizing it.]

I don't know Lio, but I've met Yuki before. He mentioned how important to him you were, so he's probably keeping an eye on you too. And that's good--we really need people to care for and be cared for by, especially now.

[Yuki hadn't mentioned Momo by name, but Alice can put the pieces together.

She gestures toward a sleeping harpy with bright red hair.]

Karin, my Bondmate, is here. She's been watching over me like a hawk, and I'm worried she's ignoring her own pain in doing so.

But I can't know for sure. Our bond was broken by the infection several days ago. It's been... tough.

[yesdoubt]

[Momo is, at least, a very solid person to be leaning against, so he accounts for the extra weight promptly enough, shifting slightly closer in case it's something to do with her needing more physical support to ground herself. Her mention of knowing Yuki gets a little smile out of him, something soft and fond, but it's that which also distracts him momentarily from his control over the emotional side of the Bond and lets a bit of worry and guilt worm through.

He doesn't really want to talk about how he ultimately feels about Yuki being down here with him, though, so it's good that Alice gives him an easy distraction. He visibly perks up a bit with recognition when she points out Karin - though another, more distant pang of guilt also comes through the Bond at the same time.]

I know Karin, yeah, we met back when she arrived. [They're friends, even if they're kind of working through something at the moment to get back to normal.] She does seem like the kind of person who'd hide her own pain to help out others instead, so I don't think you're wrong to worry. I can try to help you keep an eye on her, if you want, since another friendly face might make it easier.

[He doesn't mention that he suspects that about Karin because she reminds him of himself in those respects - the habitual downplaying of one's own problems if it'll spare someone else trouble.]

[adventageous]

[Alice appreciates the physical support in addition to the emotional one provided by their contact, and she finds herself relaxing ever so slightly into it. The emotional feedback she feels from Momo hasn't been universally positive--every so often, bits of guilt or negativity peek through--but it's nice to have the connection at all. She wants her presence is comforting to him as well, so she finally starts paying more attention to what she's feeding back to him from her end. There's warmth, and gratitude, and despite the pain a deep love and appreciation for what they're doing and the people they're trying to save (themselves included).]

I'd appreciate it if you could. Karin only accepts so much fussing from me given the state I'm in. [She gestures over herself to indicate what she means. It's hard to ignore that Alice looks like a literal walking horror at the moment.] Maybe she'll listen more to you.

[She pauses, still looking down at herself and making literal eye contact with her knee, and then adds.]

Speaking of... if it's too much for you to see, I can cover up with a blanket or something.

[yesdoubt]

[Momo had mostly just seen the chapped-to-bleeding skin initially, and while the presence of eyes is...disconcerting, it's also somewhat of a difficult thing to bring up politely. Now that Alice has brought it up herself, though, and her knee is apparently part of the eyeball party, Momo feels like it's harder to not bring it up further.

Still, he waves a hand at the offer. He's got a strong stomach, and while he's more used to seeing this sort of thing in horror movies and games, it does mean he's used to a certain level of realistic-looking body horror considering how much of that type of media he consumes.]

Nah, it's fine. I was kinda wondering how you end up with...eyes all over you, but I'm guessing the answer is something personal, so I didn't want to pry too much.

[He might in other circumstances, but he figures anything producing that horrifying an effect would be deeply negative, and he tends to be more cautious about that sort of thing.]

I'd offer to help out with pain or anything, but with how unhinged magic use is at the moment, I'd probably accidentally make it worse. [Which is also why he hasn't tried to heal his own psychological-gone-physical wounds, for fear of making them even more obvious.]

the phrase "eyeball party" made me laugh way more than it should have

[adventageous]

[Curiosity is only natural, given the supernatural nature of Alice's manifested injuries. Most other people she's seen bear actual scars and injuries, the sort that people receive when hurt. The literal horror show that's spread across her body makes her stand out, and she knows it.]

I appreciate the consideration. You're right that it's personal, but not so much so that I can't talk about it.

[Alice pauses, taking in a deep breath as she figures out where to even begin. When she speaks, her voice is sad but resolute.]

This is a curse. It's killing me, back home--I was barely alive before I arrived here, and Karin has confirmed that I died from it by the time she's from. I took it on from my love, Yuri, so that he can live free from at least some of his burdens. And I don't regret doing it.

[She glances sidelong at Momo, trying to judge how he's reacting to the revelation.]

This skin and these eyes... they're from the shape of the executioner that made the curse final and started the countdown to the end of my life. Even though I would do so again if I had the option to, facing him was... terrifying. I've had nightmares about it, even here.

[Atman is easily the scariest thing she's ever faced. Given the sorts of creatures she's fought as an exorcist and as one of Yuri's companions, that's saying something.

Strangely, Alice feels the pain ebb away a bit as she finishes. She's by no means feeling completely better, but the relief is enough that she takes notice. The eye on her knee seems to fade back into skin, disappearing as if it were never there to begin with.

Interesting.]

aren't we all having a good party time down here with the eyeballs...

[yesdoubt]

[Momo's expression sobers considerably as she says that, and his end of the Bond closes off again - largely because he doesn't want the concern and inward comparing to filter in from what he heard from Karin in the basement. He doesn't know if Karin has told Alice she's apparently a dead woman as well, given what she'd said to his brainwashed self when he'd blithely threatened her with torture, but if she hasn't then he doesn't want to be the one to accidentally break the news.

He's not exactly surprised to hear that something that could lay a curse like that would be some kind of cosmic horror, but he does blink slightly in surprise when the eye sinks back into skin.]

...Huh. I guess it's all about the bonding experiences down here, if opening up helps? [With the whole thing of Bonds messily snapping on to other people, and now the idea that opening up might lessen these wounds, it does seem that holding onto those bonds, whether with a capital B or not, is important here.

That doesn't mean he's quite prepared to open up himself just yet, though, or at least not without more prompting. Especially if it's going to be obvious if he lies, if the wounds don't go away. So he focuses on her for now, bringing a hand to gently squeeze her shoulder.]

I'm sorry. That's a horrible thing for anyone to go through, and to be that aware of your death while you're here, but I understand doing it for the person you love. I would've done the same thing in your position, whatever the horror involved might've been. [He admits it easily - he already readily volunteered to die in Yuki's place when something had put them in that position back home, and here he's only been worse with throwing himself into danger to spare Yuki from it.]

You're from different times in the same world, then? How far apart? I always thought that would be confusing to deal with. [He and Yuki were a few months apart initially, he thinks, but that had been when Yuki turned up during that bizarre temporary arrival group. By the time he arrived proper, he'd "caught up" to where Momo was.]

[adventageous]

[Alice notices the change in bond feedback from Momo's end, but she attributes it to sympathy and focusing on her for the moment rather than active concealment. She and Karin have yet to discuss the latter's future fate, so it's for the best.

She stares at her own knee with a very similar expression to Momo's, as if not believing what's just happened.]

It seems that way. The pain's gone down a bit, too.

[The gentle squeeze to her shoulder brings with it a warm feeling of comfort rising from her chest, and Alice smiles a silent thank you to him for it. If she has to bond randomly with someone, she's glad it's with someone this thoughtful.]

I've made my peace with the fact that I'm going to die, so it isn't as terrible as one might think. Arriving in Geardagas has been a blessing, giving me more time than I would have had otherwise. [Her tone is even, almost warm, and even through the bond it's clear that Alice means every word. She isn't lying to save face.] I'm worried about the people I'm leaving behind, but that's beyond anything I can control. All I can do is pray they'll be all right.

And it's worth it. I'm glad you understand why it's worth it, although I hope you never have to make that choice.

[Honestly, it would have been better if she and Yuri could have both lived. But that wasn't an option for them because the bad ending is canon :c.]

Karin and Yuri, when he was here, are both from over a year after I am. It was confusing, at first, but we've had time to sort it all out. They both were very helpful in filling me in.

I assume you and Yuki are from the same time, then?

[yesdoubt]

[Momo hums understandingly at the idea of making peace and trying not to worry over what you can't control, seemingly just in the sense of him getting the way she's putting it. But he's been in that position before, in all honesty, even if his hadn't ended in that worst possible way - he'd still come close enough that he'd had to resign himself to the possibility and offer his wishes to the people he was about to leave behind that his death would protect them for a little while longer.

He's also come very close to having to make that choice during the same incident, so while he doesn't let it show on his face, in that moment his Bond feedback reduces to almost nothing, as if he's being particularly strict with it. He keeps it that way for the moment, because otherwise it might be too obvious. On the outside, he remains solid and supportive, a small smile on his face as if trying to still be something a little bright in all this.]

I guess you've had more time to think on it than most get. Especially knowing stuff from your "future" after you came here. Yuki and I are from the same time now...he first showed up during a kind of weird arrival last year, some people came through mirrors other than the Looking-Glass House ones at the start of Maiuril, but disappeared at the end of the month. I think he was a month or two behind me then, but when he came back in Juril, he'd caught up. Or he was pulled back in later on. I'm not entirely sure how all that works.

[He's seen events back home pass in his mirror one time, when he'd sleepwalked to it in the night as some people apparently do. It's one of the things that unfortunately lends credence to those occasional existential theories that their existences here might not be as more than copies.]

[adventageous]

How strange. I arrived here in a dream before I came in earnest, but that situation sounds much more confusing than even mine was. Did Yuki even remember the first time when he returned later on?

[The questions are asked with honest curiosity. She hasn't heard of this, as it pre-dates her own arrival, and it's interesting to know. The mystery of the Mirrorbound is still far from being solved, constantly changing and evolving with each new arrival.

After a few moments, Alice takes Momo's hand holds onto it for a few moments. The way he's closed off his end of the bond hasn't escaped her notice.]

You know, it's all right for you to allow this to go both ways. You need the outlet as much as I do. As much as any witch here, dealing with this. I promise it will only remain between us.

[Let her help you, Momo.]

[yesdoubt]

I came through a dream beforehand too, I think it's supposed to be "normal" for arrivals here. Yuki did remember the first time, and he came back as the same Monster and everything, but it sort of...reset? The people who arrived that month transformed unusually quickly, so he was back to human when he arrived again and started transforming more to the normal schedule.

[Which, to Momo's knowledge, seems to be over the course of several months. That was the majority of the responses he got from the Mirrorbound who responded to his survey about the Monster experience.

He has a suspicion of what's coming when she moves to hold his hand, and his gaze flicks in another direction for a moment at the offer of comfort. The secrecy or lack thereof isn't really the issue, which is something Momo finds more acceptable to address before getting into any of his actual problems.]

It's not about the secrecy. I've kept things under wraps through worse than this, so I don't see why I can't do it again. [As he says that, the claw and bruise markings on his throat extend a little further, to no apparent external reaction from Momo. At this point, the utter grip he has on anything negative leaking out might be crossing over from looking concerning to looking outright unhealthy - it's abundantly clear this is a muscle exercised as regularly as any of his physical ones.] And I'm not very good at talking about my personal matters because I hate doing it, so it's probably going to worry you more than whatever I've got on my body if I do.

[He doesn't use the word "hate" often with people he doesn't know well, but it definitely applies here. Talking about his personal problems is one of his absolute least favourite things, considering it involves both having to be candid about himself and having to spread the load of his problems.]

[adventageous]

I see. [Dreams and dreamwalking are a pretty common threads in Aefenglom, so she's not surprised that other Mirrorbound have arrived similarly than she did. Yuki's situation is the unique one, but she suspects that Momo has more or less said everything he knows about it. The Coven likely has no idea, either.

Besides, the more important issue right now is Momo, not Yuki, and Alice frowns as she watches the injuries on his neck worsen and spread.]

I'm not so sure that's true. I'm quite worried about you right now.

[Her grip on his hand tightens a little.]

I can't and won't force you. But I'm here, and I happen to be very experienced in taking on burdens that far outweigh my own.

[Like that curse she was telling you about.]

[yesdoubt]

[Momo might have a muddy messy abyss of personal matters to delve into, but he can't really help but object a little to what Alice says last.]

With what you've got hanging over your head, I doubt it outweighs yours. I just don't like adding to what other people have to deal with.

[As if to support his remark, at that moment, his grip on what's coming out of his end of the Bond loosens, and then disappears. Immediately, there's a tangled mess of feedback coming from that end - dissatisfaction, bitterness, and irritation all pointed inwards, palpable reluctance and something that might be guilt, the serious and lingering consideration of just getting up and walking away right now so he doesn't have to make someone else deal with this, or deal with it himself. Still, he supposes getting rid of the most visible thing (besides what's on his face, but that's not as severe as what's on his throat, being more like cut and bruised flecks across the upper left side, flaring out as if from an impact of bits of metal and glass) might be doable by only touching on things that aren't as present issues for him, so he lets out a bit of a noncommittal sigh between his teeth.]

I guess I already half said one thing anyway. When I said I kept things under wraps through worse than this...I had a lot of issues and doubts when I first started working with Yuki. I wanted to do my best for him, make sure he never had to deal with anything bad or risky or whatever else, and make sure he never had to worry about me, so I made the kind of face I thought he'd like and hid all the rest of it. I didn't want to admit it was getting to me after a while, especially when I was in the limbo between starting to think maybe I wasn't disposable and being terrified of being thrown away because I wasn't good enough, but I lost my singing voice not long before the "deadline" of how long he'd originally agreed to work with me, because I was convinced he didn't want me and trying to keep everything hidden from him was becoming too much stress to handle. And even then, I would have taken those secrets down with me if my juniors hadn't bailed me up about it. I'm glad they managed to work it out in the end, but I don't really want to show that kind of face to anyone ever again. They've worried enough.

[Because clearly the lesson you take from holding your secrets and problems in for so long that they make you lose your voice is...still not telling anyone anything unless you absolutely have to. Momo's controlling tendencies are a bit unfortunate in the sense that he also tends to use them to decide how (un)important he is to other people and how prepared they should be to let him throw himself under the bus for them constantly.

At the very least, though, he's not lying, because the scarring and bruising on his neck withers and vanishes over the course of that explanation. It hasn't taken away anything else, but then, the only other thing he's left visible at this point is what's on his face, and only because he can't hide that without being incredibly obvious.]

[adventageous]

[Alice shakes her head.]

Just because I've been through a lot doesn't mean what you've gone through isn't difficult for you.

[What he lets slip through the bond makes her feel that way even more strongly. She would have never guessed he kept all of this bottled up inside of him like this. He quickly clamps back up, but her heart breaks for him based on what little she felt.

She doesn't say so out loud, and does her best not to let that feedback travel back to him through the temporary bond. He's made it clear that it's the last thing he wants.

Instead, she listens intently as she tells her about how badly he stressed himself out worrying about Yuki. Their circumstances are very different, but she's acutely aware of what it's like to feel like a useless burden. She'd spent half a year as one after her father died, barely more than a ghost.]

I'm glad your juniors could help you. And I'm sorry you had to deal with that in the first place.

[The bruising subsides, and Alice is willing to accept that as a good first step in 'learning to open up to help yourself feel better.' She can't ask Momo for more than that.

Instead, she rests her head on his shoulder and tries to keep her emotional presence warm and comforting for him for just a little bit longer.]

[yesdoubt]

[The current environment certainly isn't helping Momo's general inner reaction to have to put things on other people, but he's not great about it even at the best of times. It's just going to end up making him feel worse if he keeps the connection unmediated like that, hence why it closes off again quite quickly.

The condolence just gets a bit of a bitter smile, though, and Momo shakes his head. It doesn't really feel deserved considering the root of the situation.]

It's nobody's fault but mine. Even when Yuki was honest with me about how he felt, some part of me just couldn't believe him until I saw a totally raw reaction. I just don't see the same things he does.

[In other words, Momo is still getting out of the habit of dumping on himself in contrast to his partner trying to highlight his virtues. His self-esteem has gotten better, but he and Yuki still conflict a bit over it.]

[adventageous]

Even still.

[It's difficult to fight against one's nature, even if those tendencies tend to be self-destructive like this. Momo isn't the first person Alice has seen suffer because of it. Whether or not he thinks he deserves it, Alice feels for him all the same.

She lets go of his hand, a subtle way of backing off to give him the space he desperately wants and needs. The Bond they share also strains slightly, as if it somehow can tell that it has accomplished what it set out to do and is preparing to fade away.]

I hope that, over time, you might learn to see things his way at least a little. But I know that's easier said than done.

[After a pause, she adds:]

Thank you for opening up to me, even just this little bit. I know it was hard for you.

[yesdoubt]

[Momo's hand comes back to himself as soon as she lets go of it, which is a sign he's not hesitating to put that distance back again as soon as he has the opportunity. He has a habit of keeping people at arms' length where trust is concerned for some time, it's just not usually nearly as obvious because he's generally just as friendly and outgoing to anyone.

And while the straining and fading of the Bond feels strange, he can't help but be a bit relieved as well. He doesn't want to risk going over limit again like he did earlier, and he doesn't really want someone fresh attached to him for an extended period this far into the journey, so for now he just looks ahead. And kind of ignores that thanks, because he doesn't take pity or sympathy massively well where he thinks it's misplaced either, and it wasn't exactly by choice that he opened up.]

We'd better focus on what's coming next. We've still got a long way to go from here, and there are other people in the group who might not even have Bonds to rely on.

[Turning things away from himself immediately, because he just doesn't want to continue that line of conversation.]

[adventageous]

[Alice doesn't press it any further, following Momo's redirect as she feels the Bond disintegrate. It's unsettling to feel so alone again, but she tries to focus on the positive. The connection, no matter how brief and reluctant, has left her feeling a bit more refreshed and a bit less in pain. It's the best she dares ask for in these circumstances.]

You're right. For their sake... for everyone's sake, we need to do the best we can.

[She shifts away from him slightly, stretching her arms out a bit to try and work out some of the stiffness from... well, everything.]

I'm glad we're all working together toward this goal. It'll be worth it in the end, I know it.

[yesdoubt]

[Momo is keeping fairly still, because he gets the impression that the exaggerated version of his leg injury is going to pain him if he exerts it too much. So he is actually taking this opportunity to rest for once in his entire life, if only because he doesn't want to slow everyone down later.]

If it does anything about the Cwyld's hold down here, it'll definitely be worth it. And I don't think I could accept anything short of that at this point.

[He doesn't elaborate, but his own personal involvement in bringing the leyline purging methods down here that seem to have woken this thing up means that he's kind of blaming himself for this turn of events. So he's hoping the resolution will wipe out more than just the Cwyldheart.]

[adventageous]

Nor I.

[Alice's motives are less driven by a sense of guilt and obligation than Momo's, but they're no less strong or sincere. Even if she's less fervent in her belief that saving this world from the Cwyld is a divine mission, she's determined to see it through. People are suffering, and if this can help ease that... of course she'll accept nothing else.]

To that end, we ought to rest while we have the opportunity. Once the expedition starts moving again, it's hard to tell when our next chance will be.

[With that, Alice stands. Her movements are less stiff, although she's still far from her usual limberness.]

I'll leave you to that, unless there's anything else that you need before I go?

[yesdoubt]

[Momo gives a faint sort of hum at the suggestion of resting, though he's probably not going to stay here to do it. He wants to find Yuki, and make sure nothing happens while they're both taking a minute. But he doesn't want to rise until Alice goes, because he'd like to finish that taking stock of himself he was doing before she arrived.]

No, I'm fine. If you need help with anything else later, just let me know.

[Since the discussion had seemed to do a little bit for her wounds. He may as well leave that offer open going forward, because they don't know how much longer they're going to be down here and dealing with those injuries.]

[adventageous]

I will. And same to you.

[Alice knows he won't take her up on it, but she wants the offer out there regardless.]

Have a good night, Momo.

[With a smile and a nod, she takes her leave to find a comfortable place to curl up and pass out for awhile.