middaeg | [open] the resolve which keeps us standing even in the dark

Entry tags:

[open] the resolve which keeps us standing even in the dark

Who: Momo and you!
When: Throughout March (including early March backdates)
Where: Various places
What: Quests (Surveying the Neighbourhood, Modern Metaphysics, A Study in Bars Left, and the option for closed Cwyld Research starters) and a general prompt for anyone who just wants to run into him after last month's awfulness.
Warnings: Discussion of stuff from last month's event, mostly.

[a: surveying the neighbourhood]

[After last month, Momo couldn't get quite as involved with his own request to get information on local (and Mirrorbound, if there's any willing that he didn't already survey) Monsters as he would have liked, so he's back at it again this month. From the start of the month, he's seemingly back to his usual brightness, approaching people here and there with a wide smile and easy charisma to press some details out of them, whether it's about their own Monster type or just one they're familiar with. He's doing it in Dorchacht and the Underground too, because the different Monster demographics mean he might get some different opportunities and answers, and he'd rather be out and about a bit rather than stuck in the city the whole time - even if he's not staying away too long. After last month, he'd rather not put an extended absence on his partner again.

But any Mirrorbound Monsters he hasn't gotten a response from yet might be approached for one if he spots them, his lengthy canines showing in a grin that, upon closer inspection, might be a touch more subdued than his usual.]

I didn't get an answer from you on this survey before, right? Could I bother you for a few minutes of time?

[Otherwise, Monsters he's gotten responses from or Witches might be approached with a different intent in mind, Momo waving a sheaf of the surveys with a cheeky grin that, again, just isn't quite the same as his usual.]

Mind giving me a hand? There's cunes in it for you for every survey filled out.

--

[b: actually modern modern metaphysics]

[As Momo goes through the gradual push of getting himself working and back up to his normal productivity again, rather than lingering on things he still wishes he could have prevented or avoided, he begins picking up job postings again. Thinking it's probably better to hang more around Aefenglom this month when he's not doing surveying (or Cwyld studies), he ends up taking one of the slots at the university on the logic that he'll probably be able to hear some interesting things about other worlds.

If anyone catches his presentation, though, it's...surprisingly eloquent and intellectual, considering how Momo tends to come off in an average interaction. There's a lot of discussion of the stricter science of his own world, the unwillingness of many people to believe anything there's no scientific evidence for and the contrasting readiness of others to believe anything that's put forth with enough charm or good marketing to draw them in, the role of tradition in continuing things like religions, and he gets particularly into detail about the whole aspect of magic not existing but people continually inventing new and strange and wonderful fictional versions of it. He's not exactly an academic, but it's pretty clear he understands what he's trying to explain and isn't flying by the seat of his pants, and once he's done with his own presentation and seen some others, he's more than happy to trade notes.

So off he goes, up to whoever else has been speaking in this group and is available for sharing what they've got and offering more discussion.]

Do you mind if I ask you a couple more questions? I'm always really curious to hear about where everyone else is coming from.

--

[c: studies in left and/or right bars]

[Momo was already a bit suspicious about not seeing a drink prepared in a bar, but with the upsurge in concealed drink making he's seen in a couple of the harbour bars he doesn't frequent as much, he's getting even more wary. He's a regular at several of the harbour's watering holes, particularly the ones where there's the most chat and passing news, and while his relationships there mean he doesn't get cursed at those bars and the proprietors are generally fine enough with Mirrorbound, they do mention some others whose sentiments seem to have shifted. So when the rumours start going around about pranks and targeting of Mirrorbound from these bars, of course he's going to land himself on the case very quickly.]

(i.)
[This particular evening, he's sitting in a bar he doesn't usually frequent, watching the bartender stuff around with a drink for a little bit longer than he really needs to. It makes his brows arch, and he turns to the Mirrorbound next to him with a bit of a flat look and a low tone.]

Yeah, I wouldn't drink that until I've tested it on something else.

(ii.)
[Alternately, maybe he's encountering someone after they've received a particularly obvious curse from the drinks (whether it's visually obvious or a very obvious sound they're making). He's been honing his counterspells a bit more of late considering his sharpness with the other aspects of Abjuration already, and after an initial moment of surprise, he offers a hand out.]

Do you want me to try and counterspell you? It shouldn't make it any worse even if it fails, at least.

--

[d: relative normalcy]

[While Momo was rather scarce after the events of early February, at the start of March he starts to emerge again into visible locations. Usually it's just his backyard, doing exercise or dance practice, but he doesn't always have the room there with Yuki's pool nowadays, so occasionally he ends up moving it out to the Haven's courtyard areas, finding somewhere he won't get in anyone's way to do any dances that are going to take up more space than he's got in his yard. His skills are honed and professional, though the very knowledgeable about the subject of dance may notice he's not a lifelong dancer - his movements are incredibly graceful and practiced for someone who only started as an adult, but it his technique definitely differs from lifelong dancers for that reason. As does his bone and muscle structure, lacking the usual development of a lifelong dancer and instead being more that of someone who's spent their whole life doing sport.

He's open to be approached, though one might want to wait until he's done with his dance. Especially if it's someone he owes an apology to from last month and encountering them while he was under brainwashing, because that might be enough to startle him out of position and out of his focus zone to instead look completely mortified. He hadn't wanted to impose himself on people while they were healing, but first meeting again when he's just starting to feel like he's getting back to normal isn't something he feels is going to end that well for either party.]

--

[e: wildcard]

[[If you want to plot something more specific or a closed starter, particularly if Momo menaced your character while he was brainwashed during last month's event, or if you want to do the Cwyld Research quest, feel free to hit me up at

reviseleviathan, on the game Discord or by PM!]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( he knows that momo's been itching to dance in other places. open place, where the pool doesn't get in the way. but this day, he waits for momo to leave and maybe get just far enough away from the cottage before he chases after him. his wings, still somewhat on the mend--- patches of feathers missing, waiting to regrow. it's still a challenge for lio to take a full breath without coughing, but he does his best to get to him before he goes too far. )

Momo... !

( it's... been hard. to want to talk. to want to say anything. a fear grips him every time that he sees his bonded, and maybe momo can feel it? how anxious he is to try to get over those events. but his wings have yet to completely heal and just like them, his heart is still... conflicted. hurt. torn. )

Is it okay if I go with you? To watch.

[Momo does stop when he's called, though he doesn't initially turn around in full. He's been wanting to help Lio, and checking up on things where he could, but the fear he can feel whenever Lio looks at him now had driven him away early on, not wanting to make Lio's mental state any worse. He'd tried keeping an eye on things while he was asleep, at least, and he'd wanted to help in the healing, but doing it while he was asleep was potentially just asking for more of a rift.

It's not undeserved, as far as Momo is concerned. Even though he was brainwashed, he acted to hurt people and pick them apart for his amusement, and even if he didn't directly hurt Lio, he doesn't doubt he probably saw him in that basement. Potentially even directly involving himself in the other experiments, either dispassionately taking notes or goading and mocking people as their suffering was worsened, if he wasn't in charge of a particular round of pitting people against Shades or forcing infected food on them or whatever else. It's not something he can run away from, though, and if Lio has finally chosen to approach him...

...he half-turns back, a smile on his face that would fool someone who didn't know him, but to those closer is obviously wan and lacking in brightness and energy, more of a melancholy thing.]

If you're okay with it, then I am too. Are you...recovering enough to go places again?

[Anything with the words okay or alright never really feels right in a situation like this, but the tension is almost palpable, the uncertainty of how to even approach something like this. It's less about what he did to Lio in this case than what he did to others, but even the attempt at a smile fades quickly as he takes stock of what parts of him are still injured and healing, the feathers still in the process of growing back.

He turns his head away again in the moment his face falls to outright and visible upset and guilt, a note of forced calm in his voice when he speaks that's all too easy to hear. The emotional feedback from Momo's end of the Bond is almost choppy - like it's veering between Momo trying to block out anything negative and the negativity winning out every so often in rolling waves of guilt and sadness and self-hate and other things too fleeting to name.] You...don't have to force yourself to spend time with me, though.

( as momo turns to address him, lio brightens considerably. why? because he's concerned. because despite what happened, they're still bonded. still friends. how couldn't he be worried? lio might've taken the brunt of the physical injuries and certainly some of the mental ones... but no doubt those who were forcibly controlled by the circle had their own pain to deal with.

the smile. he knows. it doesn't have that sharpness, that kind of fangy energy that momo would normally display. teasingly or sincerely, it lacks... it just lacks. lio winces, his wings twitching and flexing as he tries to stretch them out; a little bit of anxious energy bubbling to the surface. )

Of course. ( a beat, then: ) I've been trying to keep myself busy. Helping with some gardening has cleared my mind, and...

( lio places his hand over his own heart. )

... I'm not forcing myself.

[Momo turns back just enough that he can see Lio when he speaks again, and does so just in time to see the way he winces when he tries to stretch his wings. It's almost enough to make him doubt his own presence again, and there's a much clearer momentary stab of guilt through the fluctuating emotions in their Bond. Even if he wasn't directly responsible, he'd been prepared to storm whatever hideout the cult had if they laid hands on either of his Bonded...and then he gave himself away at the worst possible moment, and one of his Bonded ended up kidnapped and the other was hurt by Momo himself in their attempt to snap him out of the cult's control. What happened to him directly isn't half as damaging to a mind like Momo's as what he did to others, and what he couldn't prevent from happening because he wasn't present.

Still, he manages a smile at that, even if it's still not his usual brightness, at hearing Lio is doing better. If he couldn't help at the time, at least things are improving.]

Then you're welcome to come. [He lingers where he is, waiting for Lio to catch up, but speaks up again after a moment or two.]

Is there anything I could help with? For healing. I wanted to ask earlier, but...I didn't want to push.

[Didn't want to undo any of the recovery people might have been doing by making them see the face of someone who had been part of the torture and experimentation efforts.]

( and now it's his turn to smile, as wide as he can. whatever sharpness that might've come from an unconscious cockiness, a complete lack of doubt and a former comfort in knowing that he was almost invincible has worn it down. it's not a frail smile by any means, but he's wizened from the experience. his confidence will return eventually, but for now it has to recover just like the rest of him. once lio does catch up, he does his best to keep up step-by-step. )

Healing... no. I'm good. ( though he immediately follows it up, shaking his head quickly. fluffy bits of young, immature feathers spring out of his hair in response. ) I mean, I'm doing fine. I asked them to be more careful, just in case. To be slower with what they've been doing to treat me.

( lio expression falters. )

Going with you will heal me. I know it will.

( he wants to stretch his wings, to try to wrap one around momo in a friendly gesture, but he can't, and that alone makes him ache. to have a body part that was foreign at first that became more and more natural, only for it to be wounded and unusable. kind of sucks. )

... I feel a lot better already, even if I don't look it.

[Momo has to suppose they've both lost that little bit extra from their smiles, even if Momo's sharp reminder of not being invincible came some time ago, back in his own world. As much as he likes to insist that he'll always be fine whenever anyone comes around to worrying about him, it's things like this that make him aware of what a fine line it can be between fine and not sometimes, the small details that make some things go horribly wrong and others get saved at the last moment.

There's a visible flicker of guilt on Momo's face that someone else is having to be the one to treat Lio, because he feels like he'd be capable of doing it himself if only he hadn't screwed up so hard. But there's not a whole lot he can do about it now, and it sounds like what Lio needs right now is more along the lines of something psychological or emotional. So he can at least try to make up for what he's failed to do for the last few weeks, and his smile does become a little more genuine at the prospect that Lio is feeling better.]

If you say so. It's my job to make people happy, so I'd have to be in a pretty sad state if I couldn't at least do that much for you when you need it. [Which he is, honestly, but that's not going to stop him doing his best. He keeps walking, apparently looking for a spot that's both open enough for him to dance and has somewhere Lio can sit comfortably to watch.]

Still, I'm sorry for everything that's happened. I know there's excuses I could give for what I did, but I'm not the kind of person who can hide behind that.

[He does know it's on the cult for brainwashing him and that that wasn't him, but he also got himself into that situation and even his precautions against brainwashing weren't enough to actually stop it happening, so he's taking some of the guilt here.]

( the healing that lio had to endure... a lot of the infection was in his lungs. those expanded cavities due to his nature as a harpy had gotten pretty bad after inhaling so much of the infected air. the ways and means that they got him to take in so many deep breaths while monitoring his status are still on his mind. they will never leave him. the darkness, the laughing, the cruel methods they employed. when he closes his eyes, he can still see the cage that he and vanitas were both in. he can hear the screaming that weren't his own.

he swallows, a shiver of discomfort touching him. )

You've never outright lied to me. ( and lio could probably tell anyway; his lie detection being pretty on point because of his monstrous changes. it doesn't mean that he would instantly call him out on it; sometimes, lying is necessary. ) And you were trying to help.

( no doubt that momo saved enough innocent people to begin with. right? and besides: even with momo doing his best and maybe even perfectly, that assumes they have a baseline of what is or isn't possible. the witches and monsters that the cult had were stronger than he expected. so, it's hard for him to be truly upset with momo.

it's an open area with grass that is probably the best place for them right now. a place warmed by the sun. a bench for sitting. too small to be a park, but a fine place for a brief rendezvous. taking a seat, lio pulls his legs up and keeps his knees close to his chest. )

I sang for the first time, too.

[Momo moves a little closer, almost subconsciously, when he sees Lio shiver for a reason that isn't his presence, but reminiscing on something else. If there was anyone left of the cult to take dues from, anyone he could have taken the harm to his loved ones out on, he would have done it. But for now he just has to hope that this world's justice system functions the way it's supposed to. Just like how he's waiting on that back home, and won't know that outcome until whenever he gets back.

The fact that he has to specify outright lying makes Momo's expression trend a touch more towards guilty, but he pulls it back easily enough in this case. He doesn't usually outright lie because it's much easier to half-truth or omit, so he doesn't feel like that's saying all that much.]

For all the good it did. [Momo seems less convinced of the value of his own work than Lio does, but it's not necessarily something he wants to linger on. He's aware he did help people, but some part of him can't help but weigh the harm he did more heavily than that.

For now, he'll have to put it out of his mind, because if he tries to perform with all this in his head then he's not going to give a performance worth a damn. So while he takes a spot in the grass and turns to Lio sitting curled on the bench, he doesn't look prepared to begin yet.]

How was it? [He's not sure if Lio means that he did it by his own will or that it was drawn out of him, so he's somewhat cautious in that question.]

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