middaeg | Deceuer Catch-All

Entry tags:

Deceuer Catch-All

Who: Soren and OTA!
When: Various dates in in Deceuer.
Where: Depends on the prompt!
What: A catchall. Prompts are in the comments.
Warnings: Depression... References to house fires... the rest TBD

If you would like to plot a custom starter for your character, feel free to hit me up at

wingything or my CR plotting meme comment! I love personalizing threads to suit specific characters. Feel free to create your own starter in the comments below if there is something different you have in mind.

I will be writing these in bracket style for accessibility, but while I am flexible, I have a slight preference for prose. Feel free to use whichever suits you best.

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[ 'not just'... more. what would ranulf call him now? does it matter? trepidation settles in, as though something is about to change, as though something is on its hinges here. he's content the way they are with their friendship and their bond, with the ambiguous strength of it that eludes definition. what precisely he's nervous about, he can't be sure. maybe it's the mood lingering between them.

but he's excited in his subdued way, eager to be shown more, and heartened by ranulf's fondness for him, oddly touched by his enduring desire to impress his companion. once the icy scales glimmer across his skin, the dragon's eyes widen in surprise and brighten, but a touch of confusion enters them, and he sends them up. ]

Scales? [ well, of course... he can become just about anything he wants if he just puts his mind to it. he'd joked before about becoming a dragon before. he takes his hand, runs his down along his fingers, squeezes them gently and lets go. ] I didn't get the chance to feel them, but they were quite stunning to behold. You've been practicing with those, too?

I have. It's harder to maintain because the longer I think about scales, I get a little distracted.

( by someone who wears the scales better than he does, no doubt! it does make him wonder... is this the time to talk about it? to bring up the reason why he's been trying to create a draconic visage? his chest feels tight as ranulf ponders about the ramifications. surely it would be taken seriously, perhaps too much so? )

The reason why I've been working on it is because... well, it's silly. ( and his tail flicks back and forth spastically, his ears folding slightly back. ) Maybe I'm still thinking about home, where it would be a little odd if a cat and dragon were obviously too personal and close, but...

( it would be more than odd and not just for him. )

... I want to match the one that I'm very fond of. I'm already an oddity. So it would be nice to maybe appear as such, from time to time, as your dragon lover.

( and then he blinks a few times. )

Um...

[ distracted? heat begins to rise to his face again when he hears that, because it implies the mere thought of them is enough to encourage his mind to wander across his scale-covered body. soren listens raptly to his bonded explain himself further.

as he describes how it makes his people feel strange, a cat and a dragon getting mixed up as they are, his heart pummels to his feet and steals the color from his cheeks, cutting open a new source of dread like a wound that bleeds profusely. why is he telling him this? what does it mean? that laguz might find it odd to pair with others of different tribes makes sense to soren. of course it does. that's just... how people are no matter what, isn't it? that's just how it's been because that's how it has been, especially with goldoa's strict isolation. his mind is already scrambling for protests: the queen of hatari and the prince of serenes! though they were an exception to a norm, and...

perhaps... ranulf is no different. perhaps he has a hard time overcoming this particular ingrained bias. soren looks frightened. he didn't realize. all this time, and he never noticed or gave much thought to this quiet misgiving! if a laguz could overcome the fact that he was branded, then why...

while the sentiment that he's so fond of him he wants to match him as his dragon lover in public does funny things to his head and heart, the reasoning backing this desire is something he can't quite understand or grapple with yet. soren stumbles out of his arms, taken aback and seeking him with the same kind of face one might make as if he's been hit by someone he's supposed to trust. ]

But Ranulf, you're fine the way you are. I never thought we were... ... [ he ducks his eyes down to the cold floors for a moment before bringing them back up, eyes flashing in determination to comprehend. ] ...I never thought we were strange. We were just us. I never realized you felt... I don't... You... think we're strange?

[ aaaaaand he took it WAY too seriously. ]

( ah yes, and so the sinking feeling spreads. it curls up into a fist and smacks ranulf's stomach, turning it upside down. he knew saying something would probably... not end up well. but he were to stay silent, it would undoubtedly be equally bad if not worse in the future. to not speak his feelings, to keep them hidden from someone who is bonded with him? it'd certainly raise its ugly head eventually. and even though the kiss still gently tingles from earlier, and the scales still leave an itchy sensation that doesn't fade yet, ranulf stands there with his head swimming.

some words come to mind. someone had said something to him back at the masquerade when they were talking about someone they clearly loved.

"I just really want to be able to... you know... be someone who can be what he needs..."

and it makes ranulf lose more confidence. )

I don't think we're strange, but I think I'm strange.

( seeing soren recoil... well. it hurts, a deep cut that burns inside his chest. maybe he can't be that person for him. not yet. )

I'm a laguz that can't shapeshift. A cat without claws, and as a witch? I'm lacking. I'm not a turnskin either, despite appearing to be one.

( brow furrowed, he sighs and shakes his head. )

So what am I?

[ soren is familiar with ranulf's situation by now, but in this very tense moment where the cat's insecurities are laid bare and the despair of it picked up by his bondmate, he perceives it more than ever: his true sense of helplessness. how secure he had been in his identity before the mirrors drew him here, a renowned gallian warrior. he never had to question what he was or where he belonged overly much. all of this weakness and uncertainty, this struggle to make something of himself through magic alone, must be hitting him especially hard lately. he really is strange in aefenglom and has every right to notice how humans treat him like a monster until he can prove them otherwise, and how the more perceptive monsters can figure out something is very off with him. and he can't even defend himself like he used to be capable of should something go wrong.

it wounds soren in a place he's been savaged before, both as a branded boy and one who had to relinquish magic and turn into a monster in a foreign place, and as he has been since the middle of noveuer, a dragon who had his powers forced away from him. overflowing sympathy inundates their bond. the dragon comes back to his partner and snatches his hands, seeking his eyes with a different kind of pain. he can't stand it. he'll do anything to banish it, or at least to alleviate its crushing weight upon them both. it takes him several seconds to gather his thoughts, but it's clear to ranulf that he has much that he wants to say. ]

...There were times when I used to ask myself the same question. [ he shakes his head. ] Not quite beorc. Certainly not a laguz. I was slowly learning to expect that I could never hope to fit in anywhere. I know how it feels to be strange.

[ he nods his head down and forgoes misty eye contact for his chest. ] But I've learned that what's most important is who you are. Not 'what'. I know this won't change anything about how those on the street treat you, won't give you your laguz power back or expedite your magical developments, but... I want you to know that at the end of a rough day, you have a place you can belong. [ he squeezes his hands. ] With me. You're still you. Whether you have magic or claws, nothing can take away the experiences that shaped you. I needed that most before I could begin to grow and develop. Needed someone to accept me no matter what others may think of me, or whether I was able to be useful or not.

[ he nods his head further down until it rests up against his chest, throat tight as he speaks. ]

Once I had that, it didn't matter how others saw me. So I hope that, at least... knowing that I don't need you to pretend to be a dragon for appearances... offers you even a little bit of encouragement. I can't fully exercise who or what I want to be while Ike is not here. But I have to keep going as I am now. As a dragon. As your partner. [ he shakes his horned head against him. ] We don't have a choice, Ranulf. You have to keep going, too, in the ways that you can. Perhaps... I really don't quite understand what ~~getting a scalesona~~ walking beside me in the guise of a dragon will give you. But if you think it will make you feel less strange, more confident in yourself, then... I would like for you to have that. After all, you'll still be Ranulf under all those scales.

[ just as he's still Soren under his. ]

Edited 2020-12-25 05:47 (UTC)

( when he steps toward him, ranulf half-expects the worst. he closes his eyes and waits for something to happen... but only feels comforting and familiar hands taking his own. he instantly squeezes. is he being forgiven? it seems like it, more or less. but it's after listening to soren that he feels like he... he's so mature. that he's grown so much. that he's so thoughtful and wise beyond his years. it's not that ranulf didn't already know these things but witnessing it. experiencing it again and again. maybe he's become a little numb to those feelings, taken them for granted...?

his words are stronger than anything he's experienced before. his heart feels warm. his everything does. the tears well up in his eyes and unlike soren, he's not going to hide them. the dragon is right, per usual, and to not take his advice would be foolish--- after all soren is the brightest tactician in the entire world. and not just tellius, but ranulf's world.

...

his next breath is fluttery. his ears, folded. )

Soren. ( ranulf's voice cracks and he wraps the dragon in his arms, as tightly as he can, though those wings make it a little difficult. a heaving sob leaves him and he can't keep himself from crying. with every choked sound, tension leaves him; the kind that is held onto when keeping something back for so long. ) Soren, I'll do my best. For you. Because I love you.

( the last part leaves him breathless, his face pink. )

[ shock resonates through their bond after ranulf dropped the l-bomb, knocking soren just as windless as ranulf. he'd already been swept away by the rush of tears, fighting his own... and now that he's gone and said that, he's about ready to lose that battle. it doesn't help that ranulf's intense emotions bleed into his own.

he throws a palm against his chest like he's hitting him, keeps it planted there. ]

You...!?

[ that single word of an incomplete sentence tumbles out halting. he's only been told this once before in a way that wasn't facetious. iramaat professed that she loved him before. he didn't take it well. he threw her 'love' back at her face and left her wounded there, for he couldn't fathom the love of someone he hadn't really let in. this time, he doesn't have the same excuse to refute it.

they're bonded. he can't escape these feelings that surround him like his embrace. ranulf really does know him like nobody else here can hope to. he'd seen him stand at ike's side and turn the tides of battles. more potently, he'd seen the darker side of him no one but ike had been given permission to know, and no one but a couple of mirrorbound had glimpsed by chance when everyone's minds had been traversable in the looking-glass house. he even knows where his lineage can be traced to. he'd been by his side affixed to the very soul, slept with him in two ways, and he'd given him someone to share his miserable life here with. and just that... perhaps, had made it all the more bearable. he might even be able to say that he had enjoyed some of the time spent with him.

it's almost as though, in some twisted way, he descries a future they could be having once they left tellius on their own accord. a miserable one like this barren of ike once his beorc lifespan ran its course. this had been his worst and creeping fear: the inevitable end and the despair it would leave in its wake. ranulf could be there at this end with him, and like that... soren wouldn't be quite so pitch-black alone.

the impact of these feelings frightens him. but not enough to make him close back up and try to protect himself. alarm isn't the only thing ringing through him, after all. it's a lot like the sensation of being tickled in his chest. but he's warm, and... he wants to stay. ]

Don't... Don't be ridiculous! [ he sniffles! and his voice is getting a little soggy. he digs his fist into his clothes. ] Do it for you, not for me... Uu...

[ that was a very squeaky sound. not made by anyone who's crying because someone told them they love them or anything! no way! ]

If I do it for you, I'm doing it for us.

( it's been slowly dawning on him that his selfishness was showing. that a return to selflessness and in the same kind that he's used to, brings him a proven and undeniable strength. sure, it may have led him to making poor decisions in the past, throwing himself at the most dangerous enemy wearing armor, but right now? it's emboldening. besides, the way this is going... they're practically trading moments of tenderness while feeling incredibly sensitive. surely it'll bounce back to soren and he will be resolute while ranulf's knees quiver and he collapses into the dragon, looking to bask in his strength.

well... perhaps not the physical kind. not at the moment. he doesn't forget that soren's in a very precarious situation already. maybe this was the worst time to spring compounded issues on his bonded, but maybe it was also the perfect time? who knows, really? regardless he will take care of soren, just like how he took care of everyone--- only with bared feelings and a slowly growing peace.

the peace of acknowledging that his feelings can be reciprocated, and that maybe when he does reach the end of his days, he can find the storybook ending that everyone wishes to have. )

So let me be ridiculous, so that you don't have to be.

( it makes sense. it holds an air of truth. and that sniffling is joined by his own, as he continues to embrace soren with the strength of someone who didn't feel as lonely in the first place but feels more whole than ever. )

[ in the end, they become two pillars supporting the weight of each other, two sources of inner strength propping up their current weaknesses. when it comes to outer strength, however, soren teetered back a couple of steps and held onto the cat laguz with sore and trembling arms, but he's got him. ]

Ranulf...

[ the terrifying, foreign, and wonderful phrase 'i love you' still rings in his ears. would ike ever tell him those words? even if he never did, he'd never need to for soren to understand. for the longest time, he was perhaps the one person soren could accept admitting that without qualm or question, though it would surely take him by surprise much like this did, though not to such an extent. being told something that he had known on a deep, covert level, inflicting shock... who is the ridiculous one around here? their trust and fondness for each other had been growing and developing beneath his awareness and scrutiny, no matter how obvious it should have been to most people who attach themselves readily to others. was it the magic of being bonded? their mutual sympathy, mutual origins and experiences that no one else from any of these scattered cultures intimately understood? how routine physical contact had become, what happens as two people go to sleep and wake up wrapped up in each other? he's not sure exactly how it managed to happen, but ranulf lives somewhere in his heart now, even though it had once been a place almost exclusive to ike, who he loved in a way that transcended simple loves people usually mean when they utter these sorts of sentiments.

but what does he know of love beyond the narrow definition he had built for himself? more than he had, perhaps.

the dragon wrings out the worst of his sobs in soft burbles and hiccups as he clings to him and lets himself be clung to. his chest feels as though it is on fire... ]

I will... I will find better ways to aid you. Better explanations if need be; better materials... For your draconic goals, you may study my body...

[ real dragons are hard to come by for anatomy lessons these days... ]

( a reaffirmation of their bond... through the tears and the warmth on his face and on the tips of his ears, ranulf's heart has never felt lighter. and this is why he can't stop himself from laughing, a trembling but joyful noise that leaves his mouth and throat and echoes through the hall. surely by now they're attracting some kind of attention, but it's the kind he doesn't care about sharing with others. they're happy. happiness is hard to find. it doesn't matter when or where, because it's the single most important thing to him--- and he's found it with soren. that he can share a piece of him to someone who understands the best is relieving and exhausting and everything in between. )

You don't... I've studied your body. I study it all the time.

( with all of his senses, no doubt. even now, during the most precious and sensitive of times, ranulf can't NOT listen to that one particular part of his. the color on his face deepens, his breath catching just once, and... )

But you've given me everything you can. I just have to listen to you better.

( an awareness as clear as day. not that he didn't listen to soren before but acknowledging his weaknesses has shown light on spots untouched. his love for the dragon, the mage, the branded, the everything that soren is to him... enlightening. )

... probably shouldn't loiter around here any longer... we can be stuck somewhere else if we want.

[ 'i study it all the time' - of course he should have expected a saucy comeback like that... it's not completely wrong, given how intimate he has gotten with so many contours of him. and yet, soren manages to pout with embarrassment as the remark hits him. ]

Oh? There are places you've never touched.

[ but the dragon forcibly crawls out of the gutter he'd tricked himself into and thinks that he can give him more. he's not sure what more, but there must be more ways to help him learn faster, whether it's by a little or a lot. ]

I was just on my way home, so - oh!

[ he staggers back in place, feet unable to leave the ground. light giggles tinkle down the hall. he frowns then presses his lips to ranulf's again to satisfy both the mistletoe and those who secretly enchanted it again. ]

Let's go.

Are there? You'll have to show me them so I can give them the proper attention.

( and don't blame him for wanting to hold that kiss longer, while getting his arms around soren's shoulders and his hands on the dragon's back so that he could rest them comfortably near his wings. never hurts to be a little more affectionate, especially after the disorienting feeling of panic and insecurities and fear.

soren is more than just a stabilizing force for him. he's ranulf's world. )

Yeah, let's... get out of here before they invent another kind of spell.

( the kind that might require more than just kissing! taking soren's hand, he's more than happy to go somewhere with a lot more privacy.

and not the linen closet, which could easily be named after them by now... )

[ that closet was very convenient when soren was horny 24/7!!!! except for the cleaning up part.

a remark like that fuels the poor dragon's imagination and sends another heat wave through him. he's a little nervous, but electrified by the idea of him exploring such places, and on the way home he'll have a thrilling prospect to look forward to. his tail sways sinuously. their kiss ends up a just a few seconds longer than intended...

without another word, he follows ranulf out of the coven and to their home. ]

(( thread continues here ))

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Deceuer Catch-All

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