middaeg | [open] oh lamia please try to help me

[if only someone had invented leaf-flavored syrup for fauns, they could have a real bonding experience brewing in their future.

Styx's brain is a bit stuck on the concept of poop helping things grow, however, and Mikasa's question goes unanswered for several cup laps. poop...was poop, wasn't it? it made the grass all brown in the parks when people didn't pick up after their dogs, so how could it help a plant be happier on a farm? ...what happened if you didn't have any chickens??]

Well...[come on, Styx. syrup first, chickens later.] Uh, think the coffee keeps you up better? So it's like, uh, you're making the syrup stronger when you do that.

[Terrifying.

And Mikasa was going to munch on her cake some more, not trying coffee before it this time. Completely unaffected by her mention of fecal matter.]

So it...makes the syrup sweeter? [Because if was being made stronger?]

I...oh, uh, I guess? 'Cause it's all tough 'nd stuff now.

[he rubs at his chin, thoughtful. syrupy power levels aren't something he's considered before.]

But maybe it just means it's, like, a better kind of sweet? For being powerful 'nd all.

[That makes Mikasa turn, slowly looking down at the counter as she tried to process that but... What. So the syrup was tough now? Like stale bread that had been dried?

A few seconds pass of the fae trying to work out the mystery of how it worked. Before giving up, it made things taste sweet. That was enough for her. Like how she didn't know how her second set of arms worked, they just did. Some things were just like that. Confusing herself further wouldn't help so...]

...Were you hiding from the rain as well?

[She'd ran in, though she wasn't sure if he'd been paying enough attention to the door to realise that. No coat, not even anything to shelter from the rain.]

It's still raining?

[...that would be a resounding no on more than a few levels of awareness. Styx's brows lift in gentle surprise as he twists away from the counter to peer out the big glass windows, amazed to find that the heavens hadn't closed back up yet. damn, it was really coming down out there, wasn't it? no wonder she'd been soaked when she'd sidled up to her seat...]

Haha, shit! Just kinda figured it would've stopped by now...guess not. [he chuckles again in amusement before turning back to face Mikasa.] I've been here a while - no hiding! Just trying to study a little.

I'm not sure... [She couldn't hear it. But the buildings here had a way of hiding the noise, all the sounds of life inside of them. The occasional magic that dampened the noise. So Mikasa tilted, leaning back in her stool to look out the window. Rocking back once she'd seen that yes, it still pouring. Giving a sigh... At least she wouldn't have to water the garden today. Hopefully, the chickens had been smart enough to hide in their coop.

She could dream.

Though the mention of studying gets a frown.]

Is that why the cup was moving? [Then a blink as she tried to spot the mug hiding in his arms. Or not, she wasn't sure if it was hiding or he was just stopping it from leaving again.] ...Was it supposed to do that?

[Not judging, just curious. She'd seen some weird things here. Too much to know what was intentional.]

[it's definitely the latter. when the cup senses that it's being stared at by someone other than its creator it seems to perk up a bit, lifting up on its porcelain tippy-toes to try and 'peek' over Styx's massive arm. it's pretty cute if you ignore the fact it's a fucking coffee cup with spidery legs.]

Uh, yeah, kind of! Was trying to do trans...transmutation? I think? Where you make stuff into other things.

[all of the different branches of magic was difficult enough for him to keep track of, let alone practice. he's extremely grateful every time he comes even remotely close to success.]

Just wanted to see if I could get the legs done, but 's kinda cool that it can move around too! Uh, I think so anyway.

[Mikasa keeps staring, even if her brow furrows. Not sure what to make of it. It was like her 'cat'... Really fucking weird. But oddly endearing. Why this? This better be a fae instinct thing and not her being into weird furniture.

Thank you Styx for talking more. So she can pull her gaze away, blinking at the magic class. Thx for explaining, the fae really didn't get why they needed the names like that instead of just saying what it did.]

So you were just trying to give it legs? [And it wasn't supposed to move? That... Didn't make sense to Mikasa, why legs if no move? But then again, chairs and tables had legs. Maybe she was thinking too hard on the reasoning. Like that time Jean lost an eyebrow.] I'm surprised they don't give you set tasks with it... Though the lessons I've gone to aren't... [She shrugged, the lessons had been helpful. But there was a limit to how much you could explain to someone who knew so little.

It'd taken her long to understand the basics of magic. Until then she'd not been able to understand anything else, because she didn't have the basics. So this was just a step in Styx learning the basics.] What are you learning it for?

Edited 2020-12-12 22:14 (UTC)

[names have power, so it was important to give already powerful things names. he...thinks. he hopes? there's still a great deal about magic that Styx honestly doesn't grasp in the least despite having doubled down on the learning.]

Yeah, just the legs! Dunno if the spell's actually supposed to do more than that or not, but...

[he shrugs]

My classes aren't bad or nothing! 's just me being stupid most of the time, I think. They give you lots of stuff that you gotta practice, but I wanted to do some stuff on my own too.

[since...mm. his smile grows a little distant, fingers tapping idly on the cover of one of his textbooks. that desire ties into Mikasa's question quite neatly, doesn't it? it's helpful in finding the words to properly explain himself in a timely manner.]

...I gotta get better at this kind of stuff - magic, I mean. 'm tired of things happening and I can't do nothing to keep people safe.

[Mikasa had heard the sentiment. But not with something so broad as a class of magic, but what did she know.

She nodded at the mention of the book, her eyes moving to glance at it. Mouth opening to ask if it'd been enchanted so he could read it, like she needed them too. The characters she'd grown up reading were too different for the basic translation magic to work.

But she didn't get time. That odd melancholy settling in the air. So she turned, not hiding her face. But looking to her drink, musing her words.]

Yeah... [Softly.] I'm usless here too. [Was it harsh saying that? Maybe. But she'd spent so long working, unable to do much with the new limitations her changes placed on her. Couldn't touch her own blades for long without being burnt. The strength she'd gained to defend others wasn't much with dragons and turnskins around. She wasn't creative enough to make use of the magic fae were known for.

In short it, she'd been bumbling around here a lot. Trying to find something she could do.

...Well, that killed the conversation.]

No way.

[Mikasa was barely finished speaking and yet the rejection is already flying out of her companion's mouth, forceful despite the relatively low tone he manages to somehow maintain. no one was useless. absolutely no one. even Styx, made from the lowest dregs of the earth, could offer his body up to protect people from harm.

he doesn't crowd in on her personal space or even force her to look away from that warm drink of hers, but the drummer does lean over the side of the counter a bit to put more of himself into her peripheral vision. burdening someone with his opinion doesn't so much as enter his mind for once; he's too caught up in just how wrong that conclusion is.]

You're fucking killer, Mikasa, that's bullshit.

[Wow Styx, and here she was commiserating over tea and coffee. Mikasa remained still at first, not quite sure she'd heard him. Slowly lifting her head back up to stare.

Blinking as he keeps going. She'd...Not been expecting that. Wasn't sure how to respond.]

Um... [Congrats, she's slightly gobsmacked. Her mouth staying open for a moment. Then she's frowning. Styx, she'd gotten used to just ignoring some tics people used but 'fucking killer' is a new one. Because from his tone and the second part her was saying she was wrong...but also she'd killed, that was a fact.

What a strange phrase.] ...What?

[Just going to keep staring, like that'd give her some hint of what he meant.]

[clearly Eren was living up to the stereotype of the selfish dragon, having failed to share his wealth of knowledge of the future's hip and happening slang with the poor yokels from home. despite the fact that he's had this miscommunication an impressively high number of times Styx completely fails to connect his phrasing to the way that the fae is staring blankly up at him right now.]

Yeah!

[it's disbelief, he thinks, not...complete and total detachment from any sort of understanding of the words coming out of his mouth. Styx nods forcefully, locks of hair bouncing around his face as if to reaffirm the point he thinks he's made.]

You got no reason to think about yourself like that, you're one of the fucking coolest people I know.

Edited (nice) 2020-12-21 03:25 (UTC)

[Fucking dragons... Keeping all the slang and eating peoples' arms.

Though even if she did fully understand Styx's slang, she'd have still been blinking in confusion. As it was, she'd gotten over the blinking, now it was time for staring. Still frowning as she tried to work it out.

But failing. So she just went for the direct route-]

Why?

[Why would he consider her cool? It wasn't the first time she'd heard it, but it'd never been for a good reason.]

[people didn't normally ask Styx to explain his opinions, but in this particular instance it wasn't a request which startled him. if you were a cool person, wouldn't you want to hear why you were so awesome? the big guy can definitely understand it, and he launches into list mode without a moment's hesitation.]

You can jump real high, 'nd you can fucking fly! 'nd you got real pretty wings and those cool bug eyes? They're so big! And you know all kinds of killer shit about shit, 'nd your dog's nice, 'nd you're always doing great stuff for everybody...

[he has to pause to suck in a deep breath of air. phew. it's kind of hard cramming everything into as few sentences as possible!]

'nd you're always trying real, real hard to get better even though you really don't gotta. Can tell...think everybody can tell, really, and that's super sick.

[That's a lot... For a moment she's still and silent. Styx... It's so much that Mikasa really isn't sure how to repsond. Such a mixture of words, 'shit', 'sick'? If it weren't for the rest she'd- Well she wouldn't have thought it was a compliment but it was Styx. If nothing else, he was honest.]

Oh... [And she's turning her head away. Her eyes turning red. That sounded a lot better than 'you're good at killing'.]

...Thanks. [That is entirely the correct response.] You notice a lot huh? [If he could list so much, so quickly.]

[lying is a three brain cell action minimum, and that's the kind of premium expenditure that Styx simply doesn't have the budget for. he beams at the muted expression of gratitude, as pleased as if it had been something more bombastic.]

Haha, nope! 's how you know it's for real...gotta be crazy obvious for somebody like me to have noticed!

[That may have been the reason she wasn't instantly dismissing it. It was like...talking to Sasha in a way. Mikasa was no expert in reading people. Nor was she great at expressing herself. But he was that quick, hardly had to think about the answer. She liked to think that was proof enough.

...That or Styx was capable of fauxing his everything. Which she doubted, though. She does snort.]

You'd be surprised. You probably notice because you are you... [She rolled her shoulders, leaning back on her stool so she could see him. Still downcast, ears still slightly red.] ... If you're thinking of something complicated, you'll miss the obvious.

[Like she had. Been too focused on working, building a life that she'd missed the cracks.]

Because I'm me?

[if anything, Styx being Styx meant that he should be on the lowest setting for absolutely everything...so he watches Mikasa with open curiosity, hoping to try and glean what she's seeing in him when she stares so intently.

(she seems kind of embarrassed, doesn't she? he wonders why.)]

Oh, uh...well, my head's definitely pretty empty! [cavernous, one might say.] Don't think I'm even thinking of obvious stuff usually.

[He got a small nod. Then a snort as her shoulders gave a jerk before she looked back to her drink.]

That's probably for the best. I think too much sometimes... [And taking a drink, nope not elaborating on that.]

[she doesn't have to, really, because Styx's mouth runs away fast enough for the both of them.]

Yeah, I get that. I mean, uh, you're definitely thinking about stuff that, uh. You know, matters. But 's real easy to get all wrapped up in shit, right? Happens to me all the time.

[if he'd done something wrong again, what people were thinking, whether or not it would be unacceptable to assert himself in some way...all sorts of anxiety-ridden fears that thrived in the empty corridors of his mind.]

'nd before you know it you're real far down 'nd don't know how to get back up. Feels pretty bad.

[Bless you Styx. Bless you and your giving her something else to think about.

Except it doesn't really help because he'd just worded the thing she was talking about.]

Yeah... When you start thinking about if you should have done something different. If that'd make things better. There's no way of knowing... But you can't stop thinking about it.

[She'd done that a lot since Eren ran off. Even with his assurance that it wasn't there fault, she couldn't help but wonder if she'd just noticed. If she could have said the right thing. Would Sasha have still died, would the rumbling have been stopped?]

's tough. Kinda makes you wish your brain came up with all that shit when it was happening, yeah? Guess it's just trying to make up for it when it can, but it just makes stuff feel worse.

[stuff like...maybe he should have stopped living with his auntie years before he had. it wasn't as if he'd ever really contributed in a way that made it vital for him to stay in the apartment building. and if he'd already been out of there, surfing couches or whatever, wouldn't it have hurt a little less when he'd gotten arrested? hell, maybe she wouldn't have even known until he'd gotten out of juvie. (he doubts that. Miriam was too sharp.)

...mm. it really was easy to get sucked into those spirals, wasn't it?]

But, like, no way of knowing if it'd make things better...means there's no way to know it wouldn't be worse too, yeah? You just end up believing all the shit you didn't do would've made it ok 'cause you feel so shitty.

[Can relate, can relate too hard.

His words...they might have been comforting if it had been in any other circumstances. But the only way she could have seen things being 'better' was if Sasha hadn't been shot. But then what? That wouldn't have stopped the rumbling, there was no way that could be worse. Thousands of colossal titans, trampling the land and life that lived on it flat. Animals, plants, people, all crushed underfoot.

There wasn't a worse.] ... I don't think it could be... Worse. I mean. [She took a sip of her drink. The cup tapping against the counter as she thought.] Most people think the place I'm from is...harsher than most.

[Cruel but beautiful, only apparently their world was exceptionally cruel. Then she lifted her head, peering over again.] ...what's it like where you're from?

[um, excuse you? literally everyone could have died and the world could have been populated by nothing but big naked dudes with stinky feet. it can always be worse!!!]

Mean, I dunno, feels like stuff can always go up or down from wherever you're at...but uh, not like I ever seen where you're from! So you'd know better than me.

[this isn't the first time that someone from Mikasa's world has asked about what his own home was like, and as he meets her gaze he can't help but wonder - just what did happen in that place to have its citizens so curious about other worlds? but just as he had with Eren when they'd first met, he refrains from voicing that question. it felt too presumptuous, like poking at an open sore with no right to agitate it in such a manner.]

Where I live's...dunno, not too much to say about it? Eddan - that's the city I'm from - is a little more advanced than most other places, so that's something. But it don't make it that much more exciting if you're just living there like normal.

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slight aot spoilers...that are 3 years old at this point

wow? what if i suddenly wanted to read this canon i've never been interested in before??? (jk jk)

Eren is a walking spoiler

this is usually the case with homeless men