[closed]

[sealeted]

Who: Hakuno and Enkidu
When: October
Where: The usual chambers
What: Bonding
Warnings: N/A

...so. This is it.

[She's quiet now, but... not in a bad way. There's an odd energy bouncing around the pit of her stomach, not quite nerves and not quite anticipation. It feels strange to do this with anyone other than Gilgamesh, too close to a Contract, but the fact remains: this is Enkidu. This is the one individual in all of space and time that Gilgamesh had absolutely zero chance of begrudging her over.

She takes a slow, deep breath and smiles at them.]

You ready?

Comments

[enkidoh]

[Enkidu is no stranger to this room. In fact, it is the same one where they bonded with Gil. The same one where they connected their heart to Karen's. And, no, Hakuno isn't a stranger. She is Gilgamesh's Master and the only one who has ever been so close to him.

Where she might feel energetic they feel awfully neutral about it.]

I am. [They raise their arms slowly so they can place their hands against hers.] I have been drinking potion to suppress the sense of loss, it should not bother you too much.

[sealeted]

...ah.

[She squeezes their hands, but looks... a bit worried, all of a sudden.]

I, um. I... haven't been drinking that. Are you going to be okay? Should I go get some, first?

[She has dealt with worse than a hole in her heart. She has stubbornly forged onward, even in agony. It never even occurred to her to take the potion, but if it's going to spill over to Enkidu...]

[enkidoh]

[For a moment they think about that. Will they be okay? They have always been quite okay. After all, their existence was meant to be short, meant to be tied to a single purpose.

But living here is an entirely different ballgame.]

That is a difficult question for me to answer. Perhaps the state of my being is somewhere between okay and not okay.

[Enkidu squeezes back.]

When I stood at my Master's side I never spoke his name and I decided I was a weapon first and foremost. But now I am here, his name is on the tip of my tongue all the time. I want to speak of him, I want to remember him. I want to be at his side.

No, you do not have to go home. Let us finish this ritual first.

[sealeted]

...right.

[Gilgamesh had laughed and lived as he always did, unrepentant in his tyranny from the moment she met him. But that had never so much as chipped away at the seed of mourning buried in him, so deep and so long. It only makes sense, for this to be the flipside of that.

She takes a breath, and laces her fingers with theirs.]

Right. Then, let's go.

[enkidoh]

[Enkidu merely nods in response and carefully tightens their grip around her hands.

The second the ritual begins they close their eyes and try their best to keep an open mind about this.]

If you wish to seal it with words you may do so.

[If anything, Hakuno will not feel much heaviness or sadness coming from them since they're doing their best to subdue that with potions. Yet, there will always be a certain restlessness to them. Something that feels out of place and without aim.]

[sealeted]

...with words...

[Certainly, her mind is full of them. She could fill a book with what she's feeling right now; not quite guilt and not quite relief and not quite happiness, a confusing melange of magically mandated loss and optimism despite that loss. A longing for a true connection, the likes of which was her literal lifeline for most of her life. A nervousness about being laid bare, spiritually and emotionally, to somebody who won't just gloss over it in uncaring, desultory acceptance of everything she is.

She doesn't think Enkidu will reject her, of course, but she doesn't know how to brace for them seeing all of her through the Bond. It was never something she thought another person would be privy to.

But she wants it to be them, if anyone. So she leaves it all out, the loneliness and loss and self-doubt about being good enough, or strong enough, or lovely enough, or interesting enough, and the electric fizz of encroaching Fae traits, the boredom and whimsy chipping away at a mountain of self-restraint and bone-deep caution, more and more by the day.

She welcomes them in.]

...then, I'll be in your care from now on. Officially, now. And I'll do my best to take care of you too. ...I promise.

[enkidoh]

[And so it begins. The entire process where their hearts open and their feelings mingle. What comes from her is something like a sense of doubt, there's the familiar ache of longing, a shimmer of hope or optimism. For all their curiosity, all their craving for intellectual stimulation, all their desire to understand humans better, bonding is something they have grown to dislike.

Perhaps they don't really realize that this sense of dislike is leaking through when their feelings mix with hers]

I will do my best.

[Because that is the only promise Enkidu can make. They will do their best. Because one day the loss of Gil will be nothing but that dull ache that has always been there.]

You should not worry about me. There are many things I can do to where I take care of myself. [A small smile appears around their lips.] But I will make sure you are safe.

[sealeted]

[The frission of doubt blooms into something larger, something edged in self-consciousness and worry when she feels their ambient dislike. There's a sensation almost as though she is curling up, like some creature trying to make herself smaller.]

I, um. I actually like being able to worry about somebody, if that's alright with you. I... when I first came to be, and then again when I first came here, I didn't have any of that.

[Just Gilgamesh, whose actions she as a rule usually worried about, rather than his specific well being.]

[enkidoh]

[Enkidu can't entirely place what they feel. If they had to give it a name it would be worry.]

But worry seems like such a...difficult emotion. It is heavy and the last thing we need is more heaviness.

[They whisper the words and they're quite serious this time.]

Let us protect one another but leave those worries behind, not?

[sealeted]

It... It felt like more than that, to me. Like... well, the word 'bond' is kind of ruined, but like a connection. Like proof someone cares, at least enough to worry.

[But she nods all the same, squeezing their hands.]

...let's focus on building a new happiness, then. Together.

[At their home, with all its extra space.]

[enkidoh]

At times I have to get used to that... Caring for one another. Not that I do not care, my heart isn't made of stone...yet all this kindness, these people and servants offering me friendship... There are still moments where I think about why they would care that much about a being like myself.

[And it isn't that they don't have any confidence in themselves, not at all. But the entire concept is big to them, something that needs to be processed in a correct way, yet they do not deem their soul fitting to entirely grasp what is happening to them.]

But yes, let us build that. A happiness. I like that idea a lot. [After a short moment of something close to hesitation they lean in and press their lips against her forehead.]

[sealeted]

Well, I... can't say I don't understand that feeling. I was born of magic and moonlight and somebody else's face.

[Not terribly different from divine mud, from a certain perspective.]

I like it too.

[She leans into them, letting her arms settle loose around their waist.]

[enkidoh]

[When she says that they raise their eyebrows briefly and after that the look on their face softens. It is interesting, really, how there are things they have in common. It really is no surprise that Gil has chosen her as a friend.

And it is good to know that, whatever will happen, Gil won't be alone.]

I will do my very best.

[Enkidu carefully wraps their arms around her.]

And I will protect you. Or, at least, will try to. [Normally they would've asked her to become their Master, to give them commands and wield them like the weapon they should be. But not right now. There is solace in the fact that they can be something like this to someone...]