Who: Karin Koenig & various When: Octeuril Where: Aefenglom, the Wilde What: Various quests and closed threads for throughout the month. Warnings: Potential for violence, will edit as needed.
[She nods in agreement, just a touch more solemn than she had been even a few short moments before.]
The pressure to do everything right, to meet expectations... it can be a lot. And of course, I know you can't always get everything right, and people are allowed to make mistakes, but it's even harder to shake off when you know what's at risk.
[Her thoughts are quickly leading her down a path she would rather not follow, at least not yet— bits and pieces of how she's been feeling for months, now, are beginning to leak out, but this isn't the time or place for it. She smiles again, and it's not nearly as forced as she thought it might be. She is grateful for his advice, and his sentiments will most certainly stay with her.]
Sorry— I overthink things sometimes. [Most times.] I didn't mean to bring things down. I really do appreciate what you've said— I'll remember that, I promise.
[it's the sincerity flickering through her smile that keeps Styx from pushing past his usual passivity. that fear of ruining things for everyone through your own mistakes, even if the 'right' way doesn't feel right to you is something that he's intimately familiar with. but if Karin can still smile, the same way that he does, then he thinks it's alright. even if they both get trapped in their own mind, they don't let it imprison them forever anymore.
so it's fine...right?]
Don't think we can really get all too down...uh, you know, since we're on the floor and all.
[if it's meant to be a joke, it's a pretty goddamn sophisticated one given how genuinely Styx delivers that abundantly evident observation. bless his empty head.]
You still wanna hit the roof? 's cool if not, you can meet my fish 'nd stuff, but might still be fun to do.
[they'd fought pretty hard just for the opportunity - and maybe that pretty view would help refresh their faintly clouded thoughts.]
[There are many times when Karin genuinely questions whether or not Styx is joking or speaking in earnest— this is one such time, but in the end, it doesn't matter. It's endearing all the same, and she laughs openly as he suggests alternative plans.
She's just not going to touch the whole floor thing, it seems safest.]
Hm— it would be a shame to let all that trouble with the window go to waste, wouldn't it? You still haven't had a chance to see the view! But there's no reason we can't do both. I could meet your fish on the way— I have a feeling that won't be a terribly long or involved conversation. No offense to the fish, of course.
[She's sure he or she is very good company in their own right?]
this tag was put on pause because i had to check for goldfish pictures, i hope you're happy
Oh, yeah...guess you're right! [he laughs] But I dunno, maybe you guys'll have more to talk about than me?
[since they're both part animal...or, well. his fish was all parts animal, he supposes. hm.
setting aside the strange conundrum he'd planted in his own goddamn head for the moment, he instead pushes himself up off the floor at last before offering a hand down to Karin. he very much doubts that she needs it, but that doesn't matter! needing something nice and getting it anyway are two different things.]
He's in my bedroom, so you can see that too while we're here!
it's entirely possible that I've never been happier
[She bites at her lower lip to stifle another laugh, but she can kind of see how he got to here from there. Sadly, she doesn't even speak bird, so fish is probably right out.
While she doesn't necessarily need help, she bows her head appreciatively before reaching up to take his hand and carefully pull herself to her feet. He really does have nice manners.]
I'm getting to see all kinds of things I hadn't planned on today— you're sure it's okay?
[Some people are awfully private about their rooms, but... that really doesn't seem like Styx, no.]
[merrow...oh, he bets that they'd have an even easier time talking to fish. (because, sorry Karin, he still thinks you totally could) maybe he should ask on the network if any of them would want to have a talk with his through the watches; a little companionship is always nice, right? as much as he talks to his pet, it might be nice to chat with someone they could talk back to.]
Yeah, 'course! It's pretty empty, so it's not too exciting...but I don't mind you looking around or nothing.
[he waits to make sure that Karin's fully on her feet, no wobbling from their previous tumbling, before releasing her hand and cheerfully starting off for his bedroom. normally measuring his strides is something that comes naturally to him, ingrained after years of restraint, but he's just so excited that more than once he has to remind himself to slow down for his friend.
you'd think that he was bringing her in to see the king's throne room for how enthusiastically the drummer throws his bedroom door open, but in truth it's just as Styx had said earlier: not really all that much to look at. nearly all of the furniture here had been in the house before Eren had allowed him to stay - a good thing, as he'd almost certainly have fallen back on his habit at home of not buying anything for himself otherwise. the bed is a little too small for him but otherwise cozy, blankets messily pulled up in a halfhearted approximation of tidying up.
flyers from various festivals past dot the walls alongside musical groups and what seem to be pretty pictures from magazines, harmonizing in a strange way with all of the little trinkets lined up on his dresser. there doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to most of them - aside from Styx thinking they were 'killer', presumably. his drums had their own private room for practicing and were thus absent from the present showcase, making the real star of the room...]
This is Charon!
[the desk off to one side of a window, taken up mostly by a surprisingly robust fish tank for just the one guy inside. a great deal of care has obviously gone into setting the tank up - not only are there lovely green plants swaying gently in the water, but a very cute little skull decoration situated front and center; it was purchased with an enchantment that made its eyes glow different colors throughout the day, a deep crimson currently blazing through those empty sockets.
next to the tank itself is a little notepad filled with all sorts of scrawling text; if Karin cares to glance over she'll see that every last one is some sort of note about taking care of goldfish, very obviously copied with painstaking thoroughness from some library book or other. little memos dot the wall behind it as well, noting the dates of when to next change the water or ph levels - even a reminder to buy some fancy food soon in case the cold weather 'depressed' the fish. for someone so stupid, Styx has...really put a lot of heart into taking care of this fish.]
I love how much he wants to find new friends for his fish
[His enthusiasm is so catching, it's hard to keep that little spring out of her step as she follows, his reassurance banishing all worry and allowing her to be quite curious, instead.
When they arrive, it's just as he says. In truth, Karin's own room is quite spartan in comparison even to his. She's so unused to having a place to stay long-term that she's not quite sure how to go about decorating it beyond the absolute necessities, but even with Styx's claim that there isn't much here, she can absolutely see his personality well-represented. The posters from festivals and clippings from magazines put his interests on display, and while she had expected to maybe find more things related to the actual playing of music here, she surmises his drums must have a home elsewhere.
She smiles warmly as she walks into the room proper and takes in the scenery, giving a half-turn towards the desk.]
Very cozy. It looks like you've made yourself comfortable here.
[But of course, there's no time to waste: there's a reason they're here, and she quickly alters course to join him at the desk, leaning in to get a better look at the fish inside the tank. Really, 'tank' is underselling it. For a goldfish, it's an absolute palace.]
It's a pleasure to meet you, Charon.
[Her smile pulls to one side, and she catches a glimpse of the hand-written notes beside the tank, leaning over to get a better look.]
You did all this research yourself? That's very impressive. He's lucky to have such a dedicated caregiver.
he's just really worried his social needs aren't being met ok
[the fish is...well, it's a fucking fish. Charon does swim over towards his guest when Karin leans in, mouth glubbing along with just enough interest that one could at least assume he's aware of her unique presence in the most esoteric sense. he doesn't appear to be frightened, at the very least, so it's probably safe to assume that he's as happy to see her as any fish could be.
Styx, meanwhile, is practically beaming next to them.]
Haha, I dunno about that! I didn't think any of it up myself, I just copied it all down from books in the library 'nd stuff.
[he seems a little embarrassed to receive such a compliment, but in a happy sort of way. if he's being praised that means he must be taking good care of Charon...and that's all that matters.]
This is the first time I ever had a fish, so I really didn't wanna fuck it up...it's easy for me to forget stuff, though, so uh. Felt like a better idea to write it all down.
[As fish go, she supposes this one is pretty cute, though he doesn't seem to stand out in any other particular way. Of course, that doesn't matter— he's a beloved pet, all the same, and that's being made abundantly clear by the level of care Styx has put not only into the tank itself, but all of the notes posted along the wall behind it.]
You don't have to think of it yourself to be dedicated! It just means that you really care about making sure he's well-tended to. I'd say Charon is a very fortunate fish.
[She grins, standing up to her full height once more.]
You know, I don't think I've ever been in someone else's room like this before.
[Not counting like, all of the bedrooms that got raided for treasure at the Romanov Hermitage in Petrograd. That's a different thing.]
Well, uh, I won him at one of those carnivals, you know? So he probably had a real confusing time for a little bit there until somebody scooped him up...just wanna make sure he can chill now.
[a happy life in comfortable waters with lots of good food. hell, that sounded pretty good to Styx, and he was on the other side of the tank! the big guy can't help but smile, pressing a finger gently to the side of the glass; in a surprising gesture of recognition for the otherwise pretty average goldfish, Charon swims right over to hover around the digit.
that love definitely isn't wasted...someone knows his daddy.]
No shit, though? Nobody ever asked you over to hang before?
[Look at the way that fish just swims right up to him— now that's a fish who knows he's well-loved. Color her impressed; she didn't think they tended to emote quite so much, but it's nice to see.]
Well, there was never really any opportunity. Especially when I was still in the military, I tried to avoid any personal connections, and then after I left, we were always on the move. I had friends, but we just spent time wherever we wound up— there wasn't really time for anything else, and some of them I'm not sure had traditional 'homes' to begin with.
[Her grin dials down just a few watts, but she shrugs easily, shaking her head at his question.]
It doesn't bother me, but it's just interesting how different things are here. I've been to other people's houses before, but bedrooms are usually private.
[so a fun goldfish fact...they are actually capable of learning to recognize their owners. you can also train them to swim obstacle courses, but that is a less wholesome (though no less fun) tidbit.]
Mm, makes sense.
[even if it didn't bother Karin, it was still a little sad that she'd missed out on something so mundane as chilling with your friend in their room. he thinks - no, he decides - that going forward he'll try and make as many excuses for them to hang out here as possible when she's at his house. maybe he should buy some board games?]
Lots of people got stuff they need to keep to themselves, but uh...not me. [he laughs.] Had my mattress in the living room back home, so 's not even like that's different here or nothing.
[it is definitely a lot...he honestly doesn't even understand half of them, but they seemed like he might need them someday?]
Nope! Couldn't if I tried.
[and he had, for a little while...when he was very young and the bullying had just started. but Styx wasn't good at going against his nature, and that pretending had just made him cry harder in the end. so why bother? he was who he was. for better or for worse, there was nothing wrong in letting other people see that.
that nudge makes him smile, the gesture familiar in sentiment if not actual action. before he can stop himself he's reaching out, big hand alighting on his friend's head for a few gentle pats. ah...her hair was really soft, even the parts that weren't feathery.]
Sounds good to me! Uh, if you wanna keep an eye on the way up 'nd stuff - maybe one of the next times we could race there?
[child. but such a warm-hearted one all the same.]
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The pressure to do everything right, to meet expectations... it can be a lot. And of course, I know you can't always get everything right, and people are allowed to make mistakes, but it's even harder to shake off when you know what's at risk.
[Her thoughts are quickly leading her down a path she would rather not follow, at least not yet— bits and pieces of how she's been feeling for months, now, are beginning to leak out, but this isn't the time or place for it. She smiles again, and it's not nearly as forced as she thought it might be. She is grateful for his advice, and his sentiments will most certainly stay with her.]
Sorry— I overthink things sometimes. [Most times.] I didn't mean to bring things down. I really do appreciate what you've said— I'll remember that, I promise.
no subject
so it's fine...right?]
Don't think we can really get all too down...uh, you know, since we're on the floor and all.
[if it's meant to be a joke, it's a pretty goddamn sophisticated one given how genuinely Styx delivers that abundantly evident observation. bless his empty head.]
You still wanna hit the roof? 's cool if not, you can meet my fish 'nd stuff, but might still be fun to do.
[they'd fought pretty hard just for the opportunity - and maybe that pretty view would help refresh their faintly clouded thoughts.]
no subject
She's just not going to touch the whole floor thing, it seems safest.]
Hm— it would be a shame to let all that trouble with the window go to waste, wouldn't it? You still haven't had a chance to see the view! But there's no reason we can't do both. I could meet your fish on the way— I have a feeling that won't be a terribly long or involved conversation. No offense to the fish, of course.
[She's sure he or she is very good company in their own right?]
this tag was put on pause because i had to check for goldfish pictures, i hope you're happy
[since they're both part animal...or, well. his fish was all parts animal, he supposes. hm.
setting aside the strange conundrum he'd planted in his own goddamn head for the moment, he instead pushes himself up off the floor at last before offering a hand down to Karin. he very much doubts that she needs it, but that doesn't matter! needing something nice and getting it anyway are two different things.]
He's in my bedroom, so you can see that too while we're here!
it's entirely possible that I've never been happier
[She bites at her lower lip to stifle another laugh, but she can kind of see how he got to here from there. Sadly, she doesn't even speak bird, so fish is probably right out.
While she doesn't necessarily need help, she bows her head appreciatively before reaching up to take his hand and carefully pull herself to her feet. He really does have nice manners.]
I'm getting to see all kinds of things I hadn't planned on today— you're sure it's okay?
[Some people are awfully private about their rooms, but... that really doesn't seem like Styx, no.]
it IS a really cute fish tbf
Yeah, 'course! It's pretty empty, so it's not too exciting...but I don't mind you looking around or nothing.
[he waits to make sure that Karin's fully on her feet, no wobbling from their previous tumbling, before releasing her hand and cheerfully starting off for his bedroom. normally measuring his strides is something that comes naturally to him, ingrained after years of restraint, but he's just so excited that more than once he has to remind himself to slow down for his friend.
you'd think that he was bringing her in to see the king's throne room for how enthusiastically the drummer throws his bedroom door open, but in truth it's just as Styx had said earlier: not really all that much to look at. nearly all of the furniture here had been in the house before Eren had allowed him to stay - a good thing, as he'd almost certainly have fallen back on his habit at home of not buying anything for himself otherwise. the bed is a little too small for him but otherwise cozy, blankets messily pulled up in a halfhearted approximation of tidying up.
flyers from various festivals past dot the walls alongside musical groups and what seem to be pretty pictures from magazines, harmonizing in a strange way with all of the little trinkets lined up on his dresser. there doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to most of them - aside from Styx thinking they were 'killer', presumably. his drums had their own private room for practicing and were thus absent from the present showcase, making the real star of the room...]
This is Charon!
[the desk off to one side of a window, taken up mostly by a surprisingly robust fish tank for just the one guy inside. a great deal of care has obviously gone into setting the tank up - not only are there lovely green plants swaying gently in the water, but a very cute little skull decoration situated front and center; it was purchased with an enchantment that made its eyes glow different colors throughout the day, a deep crimson currently blazing through those empty sockets.
next to the tank itself is a little notepad filled with all sorts of scrawling text; if Karin cares to glance over she'll see that every last one is some sort of note about taking care of goldfish, very obviously copied with painstaking thoroughness from some library book or other. little memos dot the wall behind it as well, noting the dates of when to next change the water or ph levels - even a reminder to buy some fancy food soon in case the cold weather 'depressed' the fish. for someone so stupid, Styx has...really put a lot of heart into taking care of this fish.]
I love how much he wants to find new friends for his fish
When they arrive, it's just as he says. In truth, Karin's own room is quite spartan in comparison even to his. She's so unused to having a place to stay long-term that she's not quite sure how to go about decorating it beyond the absolute necessities, but even with Styx's claim that there isn't much here, she can absolutely see his personality well-represented. The posters from festivals and clippings from magazines put his interests on display, and while she had expected to maybe find more things related to the actual playing of music here, she surmises his drums must have a home elsewhere.
She smiles warmly as she walks into the room proper and takes in the scenery, giving a half-turn towards the desk.]
Very cozy. It looks like you've made yourself comfortable here.
[But of course, there's no time to waste: there's a reason they're here, and she quickly alters course to join him at the desk, leaning in to get a better look at the fish inside the tank. Really, 'tank' is underselling it. For a goldfish, it's an absolute palace.]
It's a pleasure to meet you, Charon.
[Her smile pulls to one side, and she catches a glimpse of the hand-written notes beside the tank, leaning over to get a better look.]
You did all this research yourself? That's very impressive. He's lucky to have such a dedicated caregiver.
he's just really worried his social needs aren't being met ok
Styx, meanwhile, is practically beaming next to them.]
Haha, I dunno about that! I didn't think any of it up myself, I just copied it all down from books in the library 'nd stuff.
[he seems a little embarrassed to receive such a compliment, but in a happy sort of way. if he's being praised that means he must be taking good care of Charon...and that's all that matters.]
This is the first time I ever had a fish, so I really didn't wanna fuck it up...it's easy for me to forget stuff, though, so uh. Felt like a better idea to write it all down.
an excellent pet dad honestly
You don't have to think of it yourself to be dedicated! It just means that you really care about making sure he's well-tended to. I'd say Charon is a very fortunate fish.
[She grins, standing up to her full height once more.]
You know, I don't think I've ever been in someone else's room like this before.
[Not counting like, all of the bedrooms that got raided for treasure at the Romanov Hermitage in Petrograd. That's a different thing.]
no subject
[a happy life in comfortable waters with lots of good food. hell, that sounded pretty good to Styx, and he was on the other side of the tank! the big guy can't help but smile, pressing a finger gently to the side of the glass; in a surprising gesture of recognition for the otherwise pretty average goldfish, Charon swims right over to hover around the digit.
that love definitely isn't wasted...someone knows his daddy.]
No shit, though? Nobody ever asked you over to hang before?
no subject
Well, there was never really any opportunity. Especially when I was still in the military, I tried to avoid any personal connections, and then after I left, we were always on the move. I had friends, but we just spent time wherever we wound up— there wasn't really time for anything else, and some of them I'm not sure had traditional 'homes' to begin with.
[Her grin dials down just a few watts, but she shrugs easily, shaking her head at his question.]
It doesn't bother me, but it's just interesting how different things are here. I've been to other people's houses before, but bedrooms are usually private.
no subject
Mm, makes sense.
[even if it didn't bother Karin, it was still a little sad that she'd missed out on something so mundane as chilling with your friend in their room. he thinks - no, he decides - that going forward he'll try and make as many excuses for them to hang out here as possible when she's at his house. maybe he should buy some board games?]
Lots of people got stuff they need to keep to themselves, but uh...not me. [he laughs.] Had my mattress in the living room back home, so 's not even like that's different here or nothing.
no subject
I like that about you. Nothing to hide.
[There's a teasing lilt to her voice, and she gently nudges him in the side with one elbow as she makes that remark.]
Now, how about that rooftop?
no subject
Nope! Couldn't if I tried.
[and he had, for a little while...when he was very young and the bullying had just started. but Styx wasn't good at going against his nature, and that pretending had just made him cry harder in the end. so why bother? he was who he was. for better or for worse, there was nothing wrong in letting other people see that.
that nudge makes him smile, the gesture familiar in sentiment if not actual action. before he can stop himself he's reaching out, big hand alighting on his friend's head for a few gentle pats. ah...her hair was really soft, even the parts that weren't feathery.]
Sounds good to me! Uh, if you wanna keep an eye on the way up 'nd stuff - maybe one of the next times we could race there?
[child. but such a warm-hearted one all the same.]