[closed]

[enkidoh]

Who: Enkidu & Hakuno
When: 18th
Where: Infirmary
What: probably some angst idk
Warnings: none


Enkidu waits for her right outside the door. They know she has been sick and they also know they hadn't been very good at taking care of her.

"I hope I can make it up to you." It is the first thing Enkidu says when they see Hakuno. "I have walked Sachertarte and took care of Butter Cake. Ah..."

How to tell that they have had a lot of things going on. Losing Gil, going back to Chaldea and returning again. Memories that have changed, friends that disappeared. Bonding yet again.

"...I think the best thing I can say right now is that I will do better in the future..." They extend a hand. "...as long as that future might take..."

Comments

[sealeted]

"That's enough," she tells them, her smile quirking into something faintly self-abashing. "I've... been doing my best with coming to terms over being less human. It, uh..."

How to put this?

"The full moon I spent in the hospital and Bondless was a bit... wild." It felt like an understatement. She had felt like another creature entirely, as if Hakuno Kishinami was the faint and ephemeral dream of a beast far, far away. She had felt delirious with joy, nearly insane with mischief and petulance, terribly weak and grounded by the illness, and she is incredibly thankful that she had been contained, at the time.

[enkidoh]

Enkidu holds her carefully and listens when she speaks. They haven't done anything while they should have done something. She's Gil's Master and his friend. A bit of a frown appears on their face and for a brief moment they wonder what has been wrong with them all that time.

She's Gil's most important person now. If anything, they should preserve her safety. For her sake but...

No, it does not seem something that can be covered with a simple 'that's enough' and some forgiveness. And maybe that is why the words leave their mouth before they have been able to properly overthink something like that.

"If it is a bond you seek, I am willing to offer one."

[sealeted]

"I was going to ask you," she admits, leaning back a bit to meet their gaze without actually shaking off the embrace. It feels... it feels so nice, to be hugged by somebody she knows and trusts, rather than the professional care of the medical staff.

If she knew their thoughts, she'd protest; Enkidu is a peerless existence in Gilgamesh's heart, no matter where she might also lie on the scale.

"If you don't mind, I'd love to bond with you," she reiterates. "Is... is it okay to keep sharing a bed, too?"

[enkidoh]

"I do not like bonds." They can't tell her in any other way. Bonds are difficult to them. After all, what to do with all the emotional backlash? "But I like to be bonded with those that mesh well with me...and those who I trust."

And they trust Hakuno.

"There is only one bed." They gaze right back at her, the look on their face still so terribly neutral. "Or are you referring to pleasure?"

[sealeted]

“It’s always a gamble,” Hakuno admits. “Reaching out and connecting with someone who... who might disappear, whether they like it or not. Especially so in a formal Bond, rather than just... making friends and things like that. But one way or another, if it’s the right person, it’s worth the risk. Even if it hurts at the end, you’d still choose to do it all over again.”

How could either of them deny Gilgamesh that? How could she ever mistrust Enkidu, when adoration and longing for them have been carved into her soul since long before she officially met them?

“A-Ah.” Her own mild, warm expression goes hot and flustered, the bright flush in her cheeks starkly offsetting the glittering white scales peppered across them. “I, uh. I-I didn’t... I wasn’t going to a-assume that second one was an option. If, um. If it’s... just me.” Though, hadn’t Gilgamesh exposed her inherent want for them, during her first, wild night truly partaking in their shared bed?

[enkidoh]

"Gil was my fourth one. Lio is my fifth. You will be the sixth." Gil should be their only one. That is how it should have been. Their bond has always existed, even through time it never truly disappeared. "There is something wrong about this. Hmm...but what it is...I cannot entirely word that."

Enkidu misses Gil. Even after they established their bond with Lio they still longed for their oldest and truest friend.

"Hm? If I remember correctly you were quite taken by my form. It isn't a difficult thing for me to do. Whether I get wet or hard."

[sealeted]

"Does Lio live with us?" She wouldn't be sure how she'd feel about that, but her sojourn in the hospital had rapidly gotten her used to sleeping in close proximity to strangers. "Maybe... it feels wrong to have magic forcefully underline what you should be choosing or forming all on your own?"

Gil's absence feels like a physical thing, hanging between them. He'd certainly be laughing himself sick over her flustered fumbling now, if he were here.

"I mean... yes, of course I do," Hakuno has to admit. "But what I want is only half of what matters. Is that... something, um, something you'd be interested in doing, again?" Interested being the key word, rather than just permissive.

[enkidoh]

Enkidu shakes their head. "No, he does not. That is...Gil's place." And then they nod. Because it's exactly that. Her words perfectly describe what they feel. "It is not a matter of maybe. I would like to form these bonds on my own and I would like to decide if I mourn their loss or not."

They figure Gil would be fine, even without his Master. He is Gilgamesh, Uruk's great king and humanity's first hero. And in a way, they should be fine too. They have always been fine. They should not be this sad, this tired, this empty.

"For me the act of sex is not..." Enkidu hums and thinks. "...It does not hold the same meaning for me as it does for others. Only Gil..." Gil had made it feel different. He always did. "...Ah, if you want me to pleasure you, let me know."

[sealeted]

"There you go, then." She wishes she had a way to help, beyond just clarifying their train of thought and amorphous feelings for them. She presses her face into their shoulder, hugging them tighter for a moment, and hopes at least the solidarity is some small sliver of consolation.

"...I-I see." She nods, half to herself, and wars briefly between bashfulness and the fizzing curiosity and interest her instincts bring bubbling to the surface more and more these days. "Then, um, y-yes. When we have time, I's, uh, I'd... like to do that again."

[enkidoh]

Enkidu's hold tightens as well. In a way they needed this. To see her standing on two feet again, to feel the warmth of her body against theirs.

"Of course." They nod shortly as they pull back. "This body is quite versatile and I do enjoy it when it reaches that peak. It makes you forget about all that bothers you." Then they laugh a little. "Time does not seem to be a problem. I am not going anywhere for now."

Finally Enkidu takes hold of both her hands.

"Should we visit Gil's mirror. At times I speak to it, hoping that he might hear me."

They're sentimental like that.

[sealeted]

The heat stays firmly in her cheeks. They're not wrong about any of that; she just isn't used to hearing it put out there quite so bluntly. It's a relief, in a way; she can't quite find the words, but they have no such issues.

"The mirror..."

She thinks on it. They had both come from it, and she's only ever lingered by it during the initial arrival waves, just in case somebody else came through, from the Far or Near Side.

"I'd like that," she says.

[enkidoh]

Enkidu watches her face briefly. She's still a little flustered and well, they guess humans are like that when it is about sex and similar matters.

"I do not deal well with loss," they admit. "So it helps to visit his mirror. Even though it never answers back...and it never shows his image."

They never really knew that loss could feel like this. So heavy and frustrating at the same time. Briefly they wonder if Hakuno experiences the same thing. It must be. After all, Gil was also her bonded and most definitely her friend as well.

"Lets go."

In fact, they have to return back into the building for this and walk the (surprisingly long) way to where the mirrors are. Their mirror is easy to find, it's still there, the frame wired by chains and flowers. Whole. Not going anywhere. But Gil's is broken. It still is, like it always is.

"Here. You can speak to it, perhaps he will respond to your voice."

Oh, they're foolish, they know that very well.

[sealeted]

"Well, he's not one to be silent." The thought cools the heat in her cheeks, at least. She's no stranger to loss, but the silence hangs heavier between them, in the wake of the ceaseless, boisterous voice that once hung in between.

Still, as she slips her hand into theirs on the walk over, it... it doesn't feel quite so bad. A burden shared is a burden halved, or so the saying goes.

"Well..." She laughs, soft and short. "He's certainly never held his tongue for my sake, you're right. Hey, Gilgamesh." She gives a wave to the still, silent mirror, with her free hand. "I haven't been around much, as of late. But I'm not sick any more so... there's that."

ugh, this is actually so cute

[enkidoh]

In a way it helps she is next to them and holds their hand. They gaze at the cracks and a soft sigh escapes their mouth. When she waves at the mirror they wave as well.

"I am sure he knows we are waiting... I hope he remembers where to find us." Because Enkidu thinks they aren't getting out of this place any time soon. And if they will, they will return to Chaldea and forget everything. "I hope he remembers us being here."

Their voice is very soft, almost a whisper. But finally the tone of their voice becomes a bit louder.

"Gil, still...besides that, we are both here. We miss our friend...you." Because Gil is definitely Hakuno's friend.

it is...........

[sealeted]

In this moment, for this moment, Hakuno does not make her usual token protest against their use of the word 'friend' for her. It still feels not-quite-right, for all that it should suit her arrangement with Gilgamesh.

"It would be nice if he did," she says, squeezing their hand. "He'd be pretty upset, if something had the audacity to try and meddle with his memories."

Especially ones of Enkidu.

"Hurry up and finish your solo adventure, King of Heroes," she tells the mirror, cold and unresponsive as it is. "I'm more Fae now, so having such a quiet home is a bit unnerving."

[enkidoh]

Enkidu chuckles softly. That is true. First of all, he is the king who overlooked humanity's future and second of all, he is Gil.

"I trust that he remembers." Yes, assuming he'd forget would mean they'd underestimate him. So they squeeze her hand in return, eyes still focused on the mirror in front of them.

"Hmm...and I still have to show you the treehouse. And I want you to meet Lio as well." They look at Hakuno for a moment. "The bed is cold without you in it. And quite big as well. I still have your wine and some of your newer possessions."

Every word has been said before because they have come here often. Just to talk, just to try to convince him to return and live this new life with them. Where they could be witches and start newer stories. A whole new book.

Perhaps one day they will find this mirror whole again.

"Where is he now, Hakuno?" She knows his new adventure the best. "Is he in a place that will not bore him?"