middaeg | Bonds and Talks and Chocobros, Oh My! [closed]

Mm...wait, hold on. You knew something would go wrong if you put it on, and you put it on anyway?

[Ignis, you're supposed to be the sensible one in the group.]

...Obviously you weren't rejected as badly, because neither of us died, but you still...

[He doesn't know if he feels guilty, angry, or a little of both. He very well could have died alongside his fiancée there in Altissia if Ignis hadn't intervened, but Ignis said he'd been knocked unconscious briefly as well--what if he was viewing and acting on an illusion?]

I'm not worth that much sacrifice.

[Ignis knows how completely insane it was of him to do what he did. He just didn't see any other options. He had no other choice. But if he tells Noct that, will he think that his advisor, the level-headed Hand he's supposed to rely on, is nothing more than an impulsive mess? Every risk he takes is calculated, but he's never calculated anything so dire in his life. And he hopes to never have to again.]

I respectfully disagree. You are my King, and I'm Crownsguard. I'm sworn to protect you, no matter what. Even if it means I lose something of my own, your survival is paramount. [He goes quieter, looking at Noct as he tries to hide something.] But more than that, you're my friend. We've been friends and companions longer than we've been apart. You are, quite honestly, the most important person in my life. Let me decide how I see to protecting that bond.

[He loses a little of the fire his words took on, and looks apologetic.]

You don't know how precious you are to the people around you, not because you're King of Lucis, but because you're Noct. Our friend. So let us all throw whatever we can at fate until we lose the opportunity to do so.

Edited (punctuation error) 2019-07-06 17:55 (UTC)

[Noctis has a hard time thinking of Ignis as anything but level-headed. He has his life together and apparently everyone else's lives (except maybe Gladio), so if he falls apart, Noctis isn't even sure where he himself stands.]

I'm not telling you how to fulfill your obligations! [It comes out angrier than he meant it to, and he looks surprised for a second. He's not going to argue being protected, or what is and isn't Crownsguard duty, those aren't his decisions, really, and are entirely up to Ignis. But.] I'm just saying that...I'd rather you be my friend first and Crownsguard second.

[It's far less angry and more of a sullen tone this time.

He has a good idea how much he matters, if people are willing to lay down their lives to ensure he stays safe wherever he is. He's realized that by now, and he doesn't like it.]

I'm tired of losing the people I care about, okay? I'm tired of people sacrificing everything they care about for my sake.

Edited (HTML!!!) 2019-07-06 18:22 (UTC)

As I said, what matters to me most is that we're friends. That you happen to be a friend I would lay down my life for is almost incidental. It still stands. In different circumstances, I daresay I'd still make the same decisions.

[How does he put this... It's like Noct isn't seeing past the end of his nose. Which Ignis can't blame him for, of course. Nothing could have prepared him for the manner of his ascension or frankly for anything that's befallen their group. They're not even at home, now, and Ignis can tell he still bears the weight, if only somewhat.

And Ignis knows that Noct will die for everyone's sake. It's like a suckerpunch.]

What I did, I did by choice. Call me selfish, if you wish; perhaps I was. But sacrificing myself for your sake? Sacrificing myself, in a world that hardly matters to me, for the sake of someone I dearly love? I'd say it's a fine enough thing to do. That's my opinion, of course. I don't do it out of duty, or obligation. I do it because I've always wanted to see you live the best life you can.

[However...]

Noct, if I knew something that would hurt you, that could potentially change everything, something that had to do with your future, would you want to know?

I was having a great life, until a certain someone decided he had to insert himself into it in the worst way possible.

[It's pretty clear who he's talking about. And while that statement isn't entirely true, he hasn't had a bad 20 years so far.

And then there's that last question. The way it's framed, he wants to say 'no'. Why would he want to know something about the future that's painful and big enough that Ignis can't just say it outright? But at the same time, he's curious about what Ignis knows that's further ahead than the aftermath of Altissia, the trip to Gralea.]

When you put it that way, no... [Sigh.] But now I'm curious.

[It's painful for Ignis, too. And more painful still, the source, and telling Noct everything would mean revealing an entire near-conspiracy designed to keep him safe and in the dark. It makes Ignis uncomfortable, and that's putting it mildly.]

It has to do with the matter of the Crystal, and a certain prophecy you're not aware of. I was made aware of it quite unwittingly in Altissia, but I can gather from Prompto that I never told any of you what I learned. I'm not telling you this to clear my conscience. I'm telling you this because it will make everything else make more sense, and because you deserve to know the truth. If you want it, it's yours.

[It absolutely is a conspiracy, no 'near' about it.]

...Does Prompto know? About the prophecy bit?

[Not that he shouldn't, or can't, he's just wondering.]

Just tell me. If I say no now, it'll just bug me forever.

[He never meant for any of this to happen and he never wanted to hurt Noctis. But intent means nothing.]

Prompto knows some of it, as of a few days ago. I didn't tell him everything. But I told him enough.

[Ignis won't mention that he also said Noct wouldn't be upset with him for not saying anything. That feels manipulative. He takes a breath.]

I have no reason to doubt what I saw, but equally no reason to think it's set in stone. Fate may not be immutable.

[He takes a breath.]

I received a vision in Altissia. According to it, the Chosen King is destined to give his life in exchange for defeating the darkness.

[Maybe if he makes it impersonal Noct won't start considering how many people knew this or where Ignis got the information.]

[A vision. He hadn't known Ignis to have any psychic abilities, so he had to have gotten it through someone else, or else told by someone else. And it mentioned a 'Chosen King'...it had to be him, because he was the only one of his line left. Ignis wouldn't be so hesitant to tell him if it referred to a future son of his, he thinks.

'Destined to give his life in exchange for defeating the darkness'.

He didn't like that. He didn't know a thing about that, and suddenly several pieces fall into place and he's mad. Is this why everyone's been putting themselves in front of him, to help fulfill this prophecy without him knowing?]

I'm supposed to sacrifice myself to fix it? [He's stood up by now, hands on the table--he doesn't notice in his anger, but his fingers are suddenly tipped with claws that weren't there before, digging into the tabletop--and it's far from Ignis' fault, but he's going to yell in his direction anyway.] That's complete bullshit, who decided to put that on my shoulders? And was anyone ever going to mention it to me?

[Somehow Ignis, steady as always, manages not to flinch at the outburst. He glances down, notes the claws, notes he'll need to fix the table up later so Noct won't feel strange about causing the damage. Then he allows himself to absorb the anger. It shouldn't just be directed at Ignis, he knows, but he isn't willing to throw King Regis or Lady Lunafreya under a bus, even in their absence.]

I don't know who it was speaking in the vision. I don't know who else knew, though I have my suspicions. Evidently I never told Prompto, nor Gladio, in Prompto's time. I can't be certain of why.

[He looks at Noctis' face, then drops his gaze slightly.]

I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I'll do everything I can to fight it. I have no interest in a world that you're not alive and well in.

[He won't care about the damage as much as the fact that he's actually starting to manifest anything non-human that's harder to hide. The fur is easy enough to hide from view; at the moment it's only on his legs and easily hidden with pants. Prompto might not hide his, but he's also been around long enough to better come to terms with the whole thing.

Anger-wise, he can't say there isn't even a little anger directed towards Ignis, but a majority of it isn't and he simply happens to be the only person available to direct it at. His apology takes the wind out of his sails a bit, though.]

Good...

[He follows Ignis' gaze downward this time, noticing the gouges in the table and quickly curling his hands into loose fists instead, even though it likely doesn't matter at this point.]

...Thanks. I appreciate that. I...know it's selfish, but I'm not ready to die just because someone says I'm supposed to. There has to be another way, and if anyone can figure out, it's you.

[The turning is still strange, but it doesn't bother Ignis. It's just becoming part of who Noct is, for now, and whoever, whatever, and however Noct is, Ignis is here. That table will be replaced before Noct even realizes it, so everything's going to be fine.

It hurts to have Noct's anger turned on him. It makes him ache down to his soul, makes him feel like a failure as his guardian and friend. He knows he's a failure; whatever he did at Altissia, it didn't stop Ardyn. It didn't put so much as a wrinkle in his plans, he thinks. So yes, he has failed Noct. He knows it, feels it, hates it, hates himself, hates fate, hates whatever is doing this to the only person who matters. But that comes to him, tears threaten his eyes, and he clamps down on his tongue in silence to drive them back.

He's supposed to be the calm one, perpetually having his shit together. Nothing else will do.]

It's not selfish. If there's a way, I'll find it.

[He tries to put conviction behind his words.]

I won't let you go so easily, not to fate, not to the Astrals, and especially not to Ardyn. Noct, nothing... Absolutely nothing will harm you if I am in any way capable of stopping it. You don't want anyone to give their life for you, I know, but you're going to have to accept that I made that promise when I was still a child, and I have never forgotten nor regretted it. I care for you greatly, and I appreciate your confidence in my abilities.

Bonds and Talks and Chocobros, Oh My! [closed]

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