[closed]

[enkidoh]

Who: Enkidu & Lio
When: Today, the 13th of August
Where: Ozymandias' cat cafe
What: Friendship intensifies
Warnings: the F for Friendship

Enkidu has been thinking about the notion to be more of a servant to their Master instead of a weapon. It had seemed interesting, something that could be possible in time. And there was that one regret that weighed heavy on their heart. And now...now they're here again and there was no Master, they are a witch and they still have no bond.

And more than ever they realize they need one eventually. Butter Cake would make a good familiar but a small animal could not handle so much magic for a longer period. After spending a day inside their apartment and the second day at Ozymandias' great community garden party they merely ponder about bonding. Who should they bond to? Maybe they should ask Saber since she offered? Or propose bonding to Hakuno until Gil would return. Maybe even Berserker.

But still, deep inside they dislike bonding and Gil's absence still saddens them. Their heart grew heavy all over again when they passed his mirror and saw the cracks. And now they were here, sitting across Lio enjoying a drink at an inn full of kittens.

"How have you been?" It seems a logic question to ask after being away. "Have you been able to get by?" The look on their face is calm and less sad than it used to be. Still, the cracks start to show again. The first sign that they aren't able to contain their magic very well anymore. There's a big one on their arm and a smaller one their cheek.

Comments

[piromare]

So many cats! So many that want to play with the feathers that move with every slight breeze, every breath from the ones that want to leap up onto Lio's back or his shoulders and perch there. Instead, he does his best to keep them as tight against his back as possible so that none of them dig their claws into something sensitive. But he doesn't mind stroking the back of one particular calico kitten that loafs in his lap.

It's the crack that has his attention. It makes him want to reach out, investigate it more thoroughly, cup Enkidu's chin with one hand and get a better look... there's a tightening in his chest that is hard to describe, but it's not guilt. It's worry, but on a different scale than he's used to feeling, and he's certainly been good at doing that silently.

"I'm fine," Lio answers. "Getting by is easy, it's being comfortable that's difficult."

And then? He can't help himself.

"Your face." He whispers. "Is that... what I think it is?"

The kitten wiggles against him.

[enkidoh]

Enkidu chuckles at that answer. There's a truth in that. Surviving is easy but getting comfortable is an entirely different thing. To step outside comfort zones is difficult and challenging. But also rewarding and a perfect way to sate a certain curiosity.

"I understand what you mean. When you aren't used to a certain thing it is difficult to embrace it. To see it as normal. What might help is to find comfort in the things that have always been common to you. I think it might balance out in such a way..."

That makes sense and Enkidu nods a little to themselves before they take a sip from their drink. It's spicy. Not quite like ale but it tastes well enough.

"Hm? What do you think it is then?" They pause. "It is a crack."

[piromare]

He squints. Is Enkidu really being this blase about it? Certainly it must be some kind of dangerous! Doesn't it hurt? Isn't he in pain? There are so many questions that come to mind, and it threatens to suffocate him and choke him with worry.

With furrowed brows, Lio looks down and away.

"Of course it is. But why is it there?"

He has a hunch, of course. And the next question makes him feel even more out of sorts.

"And is it something I can help you with?"

[enkidoh]

Enkidu knows they should worry more, they should be more active and seek out a bond. Survival but, more of all, trying to approach relationships more like a human and less like a weapon.

"It happens when magic is piling up inside of my body without being able to find a proper outlet. Apparently my body still thinks it is made of clay."

They see the look on Lio's face and blink a couple of times.

"I have lost my bonds. What would help me is to reestablish one but I...ah, I am torn about making this decision. About bonds in general."

[piromare]

Ah, and now Lio remembers. Witches explode without a bond. If the cracks are a precursor to a potentially dangerous event... it's not just the fact the explosion could hurt many, but the fact it would be Enkidu exploding as well. What Enkidu says goes right over his head (he was made of clay???) as he reaches out and takes their wrist.

"I'm not going to let you blow up."

And then he deflates, albeit just slightly.

"... I don't want you to suffer. But I don't want you to be uncomfortable with me offering, so..."

[enkidoh]

Lio's response makes Enkidu raise their eyebrows. In a way this human sort of worry, almost some sort of affection, still kind of takes them aback. They find themselves asking what they do to deserve such kindness, followed by a notion that it's strange to fuss that much over a mere weapon.

For a moment they just gaze at him and finally they shoulders slump a little, tension leaving their body.

"It is very kind of you for wanting to help me... But...bonds..." Where to start, really. It would be odd to say that they're scared of sadness, of grief but there's something about it that doesn't sit well... That seems unjust. Unfair. To humans but definitely also to a certain divine lump of clay. "Suffering is not a good way to describe what I feel. Ah...I am afraid I cannot entirely name it. It is kind of you..."

Carefully they touch the top of his hand with their fingers.

"You are a very kindhearted human..."

It's not a no and not a yes. It is somewhere in between.

[piromare]

It's not just kindness that drives Lio to his decision, but the fact that no matter where he is or what he does, he can't ignore someone who is in pain. He can't ignore someone who needs him. It's hurt him before but Enkidu is... they're different. Every fiber of his being says that if Lio doesn't, he's not sure if Enkidu will find someone else?

And he doesn't know about Enkidu's existence as a weapon, or a tool, or anything but someone who deserves the warmth and stability of a former Burnish.

A soft sigh escapes him when Enkidu says those nice things, and his cheeks darken.

"It's up to you. I know there are temporary ways around it, but I also don't like the idea of temporary. Even if being here is temporary too, I would rather make things as permanent as possible."

Maybe it's too hopeful, but Lio would rather be optimistic in the face of uncertainties.

[enkidoh]

There is a truth in that. Enkidu is not sure if they will ask anyone, they will probably find a system of familiars, of temporarily bonds. But one permanent bond would be enough for them to survive.

"Hmm..." A deep, deep frown appears on their face, eyes narrowing a little when they gaze at their cup.

When they returned to Chaldea they did not visit Gil when they had the chance, even when Ishtar (of all goddesses) told them that he would come running the second he knew they were close they refused. And now they're here they realize they should have never refused.

It means that what has happened here, will be forgotten when they return. Their bonds, all what they might have learned, what they have felt, the spells they know. The intimacy.

"Whatever bond we choose, it all ends up being temporarily in the end... We will not remember one another when we return to the worlds we belong to. If we ever meet outside of this place...we will not remember anything, perhaps not even each other's names."

Enkidu is not sure if they want to allow such growth again and forget it the second they return to Chaldea just to find themselves contemplating changing the relationship with their Master instead.

"I think I would want to remember the kindness you have shown. But I do not wish to burden you with the heaviness of my heart." It still isn't a refusal but they're torn about the matter. Very torn.

[piromare]

"You're assuming that I'd be burdened," Lio huffs. "But I've been carrying more than just my own hopes and dreams for a very long time."

He's used to it. Whether it was obligation from being the leader of the Burnish, the desire to burn by the Promare, or even his own selfish wants and needs, Lio knows he's strong. Even if he doesn't look like it on the outside, which he acknowledges; someone who might look as small as him might not inspire initial confidence. It's why his armor made him look tall and strong.

And when that didn't work? It was his poise that had to make him seem larger than life.

"There's nothing too heavy that I can't handle." God, he sounds like Galo, and internally he shakes his head. "So don't worry about me. My spirit will keep us both afloat."

He holds out a hand.

[enkidoh]

"I would not dare to underestimate you, Lio. Or the strength of your heart, for that matter." Enkidu isn't someone who would underestimate a human. Where their bodies might be weak, their will was strong, their soulds grew and grew and grew. Nothing would hold a human back the way Enkidu is held back by what the gods have inscribed upon their soul.

A soft laugh escapes their mouth and for a moment their face brightens a little. They shift in their chair to create some space for the cat that wants to sit on their lap. They're silent, thinking deeply, since Lio's words did strike a chord within them.

"You say such interesting things. If anything, I do think you are able to face me at my full strength if we weren't tied to the rules of this world."

Finally they lean forward a little, still with a thoughtful expression on their face.

"Allow me to become your friend, then." Even though there's still hesitation in their movements they take hold of Lio's hand and shake it. They have to bond eventually, and maybe it is better to bond to someone they would like to know further, someone they could spar with.

[piromare]

Then maybe, just maybe? Lio's soul will grow and take Enkidu's with him.

"If we weren't tied to the rules of this world... maybe." He knows that as a Burnish, he could fight almost anything and everything and probably make it out unscathed. "But I'm pretty sure you might be able to teach me a thing or two regardless of that."

Because even though Lio is strong, it's not like he's well-trained.

He's a little surprised by Enkidu taking his hand, despite the fact he did offer it. Still... it brought him some comfort. A different kind from what he was already used to.

"I'm glad to have your friendship."

And then a cat leaps up onto his shoulder and Lio flinches.

end here?

[enkidoh]

Enkidu isn't trained either. They just...know how to be a weapon. They know their ballistics and they know how to utilize their skills the best they can.

"I know the things I can do because the gods have given me that knowledge. I think...in a way, the challenge lies in all the things I might not be able to do. Where my soul cannot grow towards..." Their drink has become cold now. "But if you wish to learn from me...I will try my best to sate that curiosity."

The idea of them teaching humans intrigues them. Sharing the wisdom and knowledge they have gathered over the year is something, yet they wonder if said wisdom is anything new to humans. After all, the Age of Gods is long gone.

Lio's hand feels warm in theirs and they squeeze it a little before they let go.

"I am glad to have yours. I hope it will be a pleasant exchange."

Because, to be fair, the troublesome thing about bonding is how deep such a connection can go. How they both will be able to look into one another's heart and share their feelings.

"Ah, it seems to like you..."