Who: Mikasa and open with some closed prompts
When: Throughtout the month
Where: Mainly in Aefenglom
What: Full moon things and quests plus some investigating
Warnings: Some body horror for the full moon and some casual parital nudity, will add more if needed
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...Except me. [Questioning, maybe. Mikasa wasn't so sure herself. Back home the subject of how long Eren had to live had came up. His time was limited, she'd even offered to limit her own time after. But ignoring that, would either of them even last the three years before that?
The chances seemed pretty low now.
But here. In this city. It wasn't something she'd thought of. Sowilo's anger at being asked about things, if she'd thought he was thousands of years old. Stan, the elderly dragon who mentioned being older than the walls she'd known. She'd known that some creatures lived longer than back home, hell, humans lived longer here.
But she hadn't applied that to herself... It was hard to tell, with her eyes being solid black now, but her gaze moved. Looking at the ground below the dragon's feet(paws) where he's talons sunk into the softer soil. The idea of living for so long...It really hadn't occurred to her. She'd already had to deal with that unease knawing at her insides as she watched Eren and Armin, the knowledge that no matter what she did, they'd both be gone within the next ten years. She wouldn't be alone. She had the others, though Sasha's death had been a horrible reminder of just how easy it was to lose someone. And here? She'd potentially have to deal with that for so much longer.
For a moment she forgets herself. Almost sinking until she paddles close enough that her feet sunk into the sandy dirt at the bottom of the pond. Still enough water to hide in, but not enough for her to tire from moving.]
You seem so sure...
[Unlike her. She'd gotten less and less sure the more things happened.]
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[ their connection the paths were severed. they're no longer a part of that world as long as they remain here. something so many struggled with and eren . . . hadn't. becoming a dragon had never felt alien and only more comfortable and natural as time passed with him here. where so many struggled with their humanity, their appearance, eren nurtured less importance. perhaps because he never actually cared about what he looked like, and being a shifter hadn't cushioned the experience of being a monstrosity. ]
Unless that wasn't what you meant.
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Her own thoughts on being a monster... Were complicated. To say the least, the aches and pains were annoying but that was all. There had been a strange delight at her own wings coming through. Being able to fly without relying on gas or the mechanics which could fault.
What she didn't like. Was how useless she felt at times, how she couldn't do things that had been so easy before. The unnerving thought that she was like those creatures she'd seen way back in the old jungle. But she still felt like her.
The fae floundered in her new spot, wings giving a pointless flicker. Moving water around. Throwing the excess off before it could slowly trickle down and be annoying.]
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I can tell you right now I'm not going back home to live. [ did she know that? and people who've died, well. aefenglom has been where wayward souls were pulled to. he wondered why it hadn't been all of them, but then again . . . this world was just as large as the last one, and aefenglom, talam, it was a grain compared to the rest. the moons are dropping closer to the horizon line, and on the other side of the sky is a hue of blue and purple, only now beginning to brighten. ] I guess we'll see, [ his shoulder rolls as he brings his feet to support his weight. ] or not.
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The dragon's comment though, that didn't sit right with her. Earning a small hiss. A small hum as her wings buzzed again, remaining spread and sticking out of the water, showing their dull magic. Reflecting the dawn's light off of the fine membrane.]
You're not going back? [At all? That was it? He was breaking the walls back home and then..?
Hiding away here? Waiting to see if he'd live hundreds of years like some monsters did?]
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To live. I know I’ll go back eventually. [ but it just didn’t feel like . . . it was for long, and what life did await him, if he didn’t miraculously kick it in the end? and why was it, that he keeps talking rather than sparing her? was it to just make things clear or—? he’s already started, and not answering would just leave so many holes when he swore he’d no longer dig them. ] You didn’t see what happened. That’s why you’re hopeful.
[ that they would be able to do something, and maybe they all would— but it wouldn’t be happy. no horror story is. ]
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That was the issue wasn't it? If Eren was right and the rumbling didn't happen, the rest of the world would come down on them. If they hadn't been before, they would be after Libero. Hell, even without the rest of the world, the higher-ups had been wanting to get Eren's titan to someone else. Someone they could control.
And if the rumbling was successful? Then what? There was Floch and Eren's other supporters, he might have been able to live. But he didn't think so.
She remained silent.]
...Is that why you talked about life here? [It's slow. Trying to order her thoughts.] Because of how long we could be here?
[She...she really didn't think they'd have that long. Too many unknowns. Like back home, people could vanish just like that. Or even more suddenly. And even if they could vanish in a moment, Eren was saying they could potentially be here for hundreds of years.
She'd been trying not to get too invested in the city and the inhabitants. Though she was failing to some degree, Tendou, Tater, Mettaton...A few friends who'd already left with no chance of a goodbye.]
What will you do? If you live that long? [And outlive everyone you cared about? It was something she'd already resigned herself to. Even if not fully, she'd still had no idea what she'd do once Eren and Armin were gone. But there wasn't anything she could do to stop them.]
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he knew what he wanted in his heart but he'd question time and time again, was that truly a possibility or just some raging fever dream? how could anyone, especially mikasa, want to live with him again? why would anyone live with him at all? "because i like you" isn't something he could change, but it didn't mean he didn't still question it. ]
I don't know . . . Where to start. [ it was so much easier said than done. when eren had his charges of confident energy and resolute certainty, he'd say i'll live the life i was born to live, but what kind of life was that? another of violence? it was a choice that haunted him and compelled him to the point that he would always think he'd choose it over peace. that, or almost always, but was almost any better? it was a lie to comfort a shattered piece of glass heart that was barely keeping it together.
with a thickness forming at the back of his throat and songbirds beginning to sing to signal a coming sunrise, perhaps in the next hour, eren takes his first step and hushes past his teeth: ] I need to go.
[ and maybe just lay down and think while getting his neck healed. ]
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Did she comfort? Like he'd said, he wasn't sure where to start. But neither was she. She wasn't sure how to live in a place that didn't have constant fighting. She'd wanted to be a farmer. To live a simple life. And now she had that opportunity, she couldn't settle. Constantly on edge that something would happen. It had always been a distant dream.
A dream was different to reality.
And in their reality that peaceful dream was just that. Wasn't it? Something impossible, something that could only be seen when they closed their eyes.
Her face was pale, more so than usual as she looked at him. With the same sad eyes she'd had when she'd found him in Libero. Mouth closing silently, taking a small step to duck the spines that ran along his body, just in case. Head dipping, hiding her face.
She couldn't stop him from going...She never had been able to.]