middaeg | [closed] Of monsters and men

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[closed] Of monsters and men

Who: Yuki and Momo
When: 7/30ish
Where: Who knows
What: Bond time for the lovebirds
Warnings: None, unless you hate awkward sap. Will update if needed.

[So this is it. Momo's been... well, insistent at least that they Bond sooner rather than later. Yuki's run the full range of emotions from elated that he's going to be closer to Momo to nervous about the closeness, and even had a healthy dose of "it's not that serious and Momo already has another Bond so he knows what to do". But that aside, Yuki is Yuki, and he takes it on with a seriousness and gravity that maybe the less involved or attached would not.

In the weeks between their initial discussion of Bonding and now, Yuki has spent countless hours in the house, or any quiet, secluded place he finds comfortable, to write. The vows are like lyrics to him, words that have to communicate what he can't without feeling the pressure of his soul being bared. Music is and long will be the safe place to do it. Even just this morning, he was still making revisions to one sentence in particular, trying to make the melody Momo puts in his heart into something he won't trip over saying. To Yuki, it's important. Frankly, he wouldn't want anyone else to feel what he feels, or to be so intimately attached. Whether a Bond has a romantic component or not, it's still something that requires trust and understanding, and showing vulnerability that may be utterly frightening.

How does he tell Momo what that means to him? It's plagued him through rewrite after rewrite from the first brainstorming notes. How does he tell his partner, his favorite person, that he trusts him completely, that he's not going to let some basic fear of the unknown stop him? Whatever they must weather, they will, because they have for five plus years now, and because Yuki believes in Momo. And Yuki believes in Re:vale, too.

Vows written and done, practiced in solitude, Yuki had begged Momo for one last bit of privacy for a final test. They're meeting with the presiding witch in mere minutes. He's done all he can do, memorized every word, practiced on everything from cute animals to ripening fruit, and now he has to face the real thing.

It's not like he'll let himself be late, so he's the first one to arrive at the lovely little spot Momo chose. His fingers worry at a slightly worn piece of paper as his eyes scan the text again line by line.]

...this is fine. This is good enough.

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[Yuki's forehead contacts the tree for the briefest of moments after Momo slips away. He might've been just playing around, but it was nice, and he'd managed to shove off the thoughts of Bonding for a few minutes there. It still feels too much like accepting that he's going to turn into an octopus person or whatever on occasion... and while he's making peace with that, it's weird. If either of them ought to be a powerful Witch, though, maybe Yuki thinks Momo's the better, braver choice.

He turns around on heel and offers a cool, somehow welcoming smile to the Witch who's joined them.]

I'm Yuki. It's nice to meet you. [And perhaps surprisingly, he bows formally, like a man meeting a well-respected industry senpai.] Thank you for looking after Momo.

[He straightens, then pushes his hair back over his shoulders. A hand goes to one pocket, Yuki idly running fingers over the written vows he knows by heart. Then he thinks better of fishing them back out, and smooths his hands over his thighs before following Momo.]

I guess it's time to get started.

[Mirage grins at Yuki, though there's something measuring about her look, probably unsurprising for an experienced enough Witch academic to be running classes here.

"It's no problem, he always made it so easy! Picks new things up a treat, not that I imagine he admits it to you any more than he did to me."

Momo, as is typical of him when anything remotely flattering of his skills comes up, cuts in smoothly and waves his hands as if trying to move the conversation along.]

Come on, now that we're all here we should definitely get started quickly like Yuki said, right? We're both ready.

[Mirage arches a brow knowingly at Yuki, but claps her hands together, forming a few reflexive shapes with them to bring her magic to the surface. "If you insist, sweethearts! I'll just need a moment to draw up the circle and then we can begin."

Momo tugs at Yuki's arm to draw him a little further away from the tree, just enough that there's space for Mirage to draw a magic circle without getting it tangled up in the roots. Once they find a good position, she pulls out a lengthy cane with some kind of magical creature carved in the top and starts to walk it around them, establishing the area of the circle before she starts adding the magical bells and whistles. The cane leaves a bright trail through the grass where it goes, lines and runes following on from the circle itself.

Letting out a bracing sort of breath, Momo moves to take one of Yuki's hands again.] You know, it's been years since I got stage fright for this small of an audience, but I think this is doing it. Trying to put everything into a vow is hard, isn't it?

[He grins a little self-consciously, as if mostly worried he hasn't said enough or hasn't said the right things in his planned vow. He doesn't want to keep them here for a ridiculously long time, but being concise was a bit of a struggle in its own way.]

[Yuki knows how capable Momo is, and he appreciates it more than anyone can know. Even his partner doesn't know the depths of his acknowledgement and care. Maybe he should change that. Or... well... try to. He's Yuki, and feelings are hard. This whole thing is weird, and he doesn't really want the tentacles portion of the deal, but as long as he's here, as long as Momo's not somewhere that he can't reach, he'll cope.

Watching carefully as Mirage does the work of creating their magic circle, Yuki tries to swallow down the nerves that are coming back up. They threaten to tongue tie him, to make him freeze up instead of delivering what he needs and wants to. Telling people how he feels is damnably difficult, but it's kind of what this ceremony seems to require, in their case. Maybe it's not such a serious commitment, this Bond, maybe it's something you can do with just anyone... But the truth of the matter is Yuki wouldn't dream of letting anyone else experience that much of his life. It's Momo or nothing.

He realizes his hand is in Momo's rather belatedly, and he catches only the tail end of the statement.]

You're the one who said Bonds aren't that big of a deal.

[Maybe turning that on Momo will help them both. Yuki tries a faint, knowing smile, the kind he offers when they communicate without words.]

Just act like you're doing it on TV in front of a million people. You'd never mess that up. [Shrug. But oh, the hypocrisy, because Yuki is rapidly forgetting half of what he wrote for Momo. Maybe Momo did say that Bonds were a commonplace thing, and not so serious, but to Yuki this is significant. He's letting Momo in deeper than he's ever been before, and that raw vulnerability isn't something Yuki really loves. But for Momo, with Momo, he can do anything.]

Who's going first?

[Momo puffs his cheeks a touch petulantly when Yuki flips his logic back on him.] If I was talking about my deep feelings about Yuki in front of that many people, I'd definitely mess it up! My darling makes my heart flutter too easily for me to get something like that right on a live stage!

[It would probably be cute, but it would also be a disaster. Mirage laughs almost knowingly at the banter as she finishes the circle, very visible on the ground around them.

"I'll need you holding hands before we start, dears."

Momo nods and clasps Yuki's other hand - it's obvious enough he's done this before, though he still adjusts his position a bit like he's not quite sure he's in the circle right. Mostly so he doesn't have to answer that question so quickly, because he's already looking very red at the immediate prospect of having to say vows to Yuki. It feels a bit more embarrassing when there's the romantic element to it.]

I hadn't really thought about that...you're older, so you should get seniority, right? [Ignoring that if Yuki goes first, Momo might die before he gets to say his bit. He's definitely making an excuse to prolong his inevitable flustering a bit.]

Even if you just say something like "Yuki, you're so dreamy!" it'd be enough.

[Yuki's hand reaches out to Momo's almost automatically, reading his movements here like he might have to on stage. It's not that he wants this to be just a performance for the Witch's benefit, though. There are butterflies filling him up more than he's ever felt in his life. He swears they're going to escape at any moment.

To distract himself momentarily, he takes a quick look at how and where Momo is standing, and adjusts to mirror it. There's a warmth in trusting Momo to guide him in this so they can do things without much interference, just someone to do the formal magic bits while Yuki blindly spills everything he's been mulling over since he arrived. He doesn't know for sure what he'll hear from Momo, because the man is delightfully unpredictable while simultaneously being the most solid and stable part of Yuki's existence. The raw energy Momo has, even in moments like this, takes Yuki's mind off on tangents.

There's a delay, a narrowing of his eyes... As Momo throws him under the emotional expression bus. The sound he makes isn't quite a grumble, but his fingers do tense around Momo's.]

What a time to decide to call me your senior.

[He manages a little laugh, though, looking down at Momo's hands in his.]

Mirage-san, I read up on this, I know you need to be here and everything to do the important parts, but... I'm begging you, from the bottom of my heart, forget everything you're about to hear.

[Glancing to the Witch, he turns on his most crowd-pleasing smile, gentle and angelic with a touch of distance. Whether she confirms or not, his gaze shifts to Momo and he looks directly into those magenta eyes. The newer specks on his neck and wrists fluctuate to a pinkish hue.]

Now or never.

I say that all the time, though!? [Momo sounds almost offended at the idea that he'd reuse a line he says so often for something like this, though it's still decidedly in the exaggerated faux offense range. As such, he's going to look decidedly unapologetic for throwing Yuki under the feelings bus all of a sudden (and almost looks like he has to stop himself poking his tongue out when Yuki almost grumbles about it). Even though it's probably going to bite him in the ass later, and by later he means in about a minute.

Mirage laughs at Yuki's request, but winks. "Trust me, dear, I've probably heard much worse. It all starts to fold together after a while."

Momo almost comes to attention when Yuki turns back to look at him. He was already fairly attentive about his posture, just because he wants to do this right and have it look good, but Yuki meeting his eyes seems to give him an extra jolt up the spine. Without the benefit of mood ring spots, Momo's cheeks turn a little pink under the attention, and his fingers grip at Yuki's a little more tightly.]

Of course it has to be now, then. I'm ready. [Despite his usual self-conscious shyness about having Yuki focus on him, he sounds determined to see the ritual through properly. And hopefully not dissolve into a mess of emotions halfway through, however bad he's always been at that.]

[Yuki's sincere smile settles in as he looks at his partner, the best thing that ever happened to him, the guy who's saved him in way too many ways. He squeezes Momo's hands, more out of trepidation than affection, and just... stands there for a moment, like he's waiting for a cue to start. When nothing really comes and he's just being looked at expectantly (confirmed with a glance to the presiding Witch), he clears his throat.]

Momo...

[The moment he starts speaking, his eyes trying not to look too deeply into Momo's while he gathers himself, a subtle warmth creeps through him. Like laying in a sunbeam. But that's how he feels looking at Momo every single time. The guy makes his heart pound and his mind fill up with music.

He doesn't quite notice the silence.

A breath, and he begins again.]

I know this is supposed to be vows. You said Bonds weren't a big deal, so I tried to come up with something that wasn't a big deal, and I'm going to be honest... [Blinking.] I've forgotten most of it. I think I rewrote them ten times. [He finally meets Momo's eyes.] So, I guess forgive the ad lib.

[A little smile forms on his lips, one that grows gradually as he speaks, the usually less than emotive Yuki pouring a little surprising passion into it.]

So, before I vow anything, I want to thank you. You've done a lot for me. I wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't have you motivating me and looking at me like I'm somebody. You picked me up when I was at my lowest and you kept me standing until I could move again... With you as my partner. Everything we do together is the best thing I've ever done.

[A little squeeze to Momo's hands.]

You might not believe this, but I don't want to make music with anyone else, or dance with anybody else. I don't want to be seen by anybody else. So... I guess what I'm saying is don't look away from me. Ever. Keep your eyes on me. I've got too much left to show you. I know you have a lot left to show, too. I want to show everyone your best, even if I want to keep you all to myself, too.

[Somehow, with momentum, it gets easier. Yuki knows he's supposed to throw some kind of vow or promise in here, and he's pretty sure he had a good one written up, but his mind is a blank sheet right now, and he can't hear anything over the pounding of his heart.]

I bet this all sounds pretty selfish, but... I came all the way here to you, didn't I? Even if I'm somewhere else or someone else, I want to be with you. I want to be by your side in this life, in the next, and every one after that. If I have to make any kind of promise today... I can't really say something like "I'll protect you" or "I'll never make you cry" because I'm me. But I will promise this: I will always find my way back to you. I won't go a single day without thinking of you, even if everything conspires against us.

This Bond thing is just kind of a formality, isn't it? Even before I said it, I loved you. Even before you said it. You're Momo, my partner, the only person I want to make room for. You're everything. You have been for a while now. Whatever we do from here on out, we do together, too.

[He looks like he has more to say, but he stops there, letting silence hang for a moment.]

...That's it. I think.

[Momo does his best to keep some kind of eye contact, but he has to give at some point otherwise he's going to cry, and he doesn't want to already be a mess when he gets to his own vows. Still, as predicted, his throwing Yuki under the bus comes back to bite him in the form of his eyes already halfway threatening to spill over and not really being able to do anything about it because he has to stay holding hands.

Still, the blinking and the soft, watery laugh probably gives him away before he stabilises his voice a bit.] Yuki...ah, now I have to make it quick, otherwise Momo-chan's going to cry before we're done...

[He takes a deep breath and lets it out, trying to settle himself. Even just enough that he can say what he wants to is fine - he didn't prepare overly because he wanted to be able to speak from the heart, but that might've been an advantage looking at what happened to Yuki.

His fingertips squeeze gently at Yuki's hands, as if grounding himself one more way before he begins.]

When we met properly, I...didn't know what I was going to do with myself. Your music gave me the strength to move on, but I didn't know what it was like to pursue something as myself and not part of something bigger. So even when I threw everything away to support you, the things I did selfishly to make sure you rose above everyone else - I just wanted it for you. The only thing I wanted was to see you succeed, because I didn't feel like anything else would be enough thanks for how you saved me. You deserve so much - thanks, recognition, adoration - and I wanted to make sure you got all of it.

[With or without him. He lets out a breath.] But when you looked at me and thought of me, in those ways that felt like you loved me, I realised for the first time I could be selfish. I was afraid of what you'd think of me, about so many things that all came down to my audacity. How I could never admit that...you were the first thing I ever wanted for myself. Even when we were struggling, you were so radiant and talented, so kind to me when I felt like I didn't deserve it, made me feel like I was being smiled on by a god. How could someone as selfish as I really was let that go?

[But he smiles, a more contented, accepting thing than back when he'd bawled in the passenger seat of Yuki's car calling himself a terrible person, the first time he'd admitted to those feelings.] So if I've dared to claim you as mine, then I'm going to make sure you never regret it. I'll do whatever it takes to protect you and make you happy, and make sure everyone sees how stunning you and your music are. I'm still your fan, deep down, but you let me be something more than the god's believer and the king's knight I planned to be when we teamed up, and I'll never stop being thankful for that.

[His fingers tighten.] Now that I can focus on the future, I've been able to honestly call myself your partner. And while we're here, it's just like I said back then. You can still run, and you can still sing. I won't let it end here for us. It still feels like I'm standing next to a king, or a god, but now I refuse to not be part of your legend. I won't let anyone break us apart, or take my place at your side. If I'm the person you've chosen to love, then I'll make sure you feel every little bit of how much I've ever loved you, that you never ever doubt that you're loved again. And as we keep moving forward, hand in hand like this...maybe one day, before someone writes our story, I'll be able to think of myself as your equal.

[He says those last few words with the slight air of someone saying something blasphemous, but he still says it. It's the kind of thing Yuki would've had to say for him prior to now, but he gets it out and holds himself together as Mirage rests her staff on their joined hands and murmurs an incantation.

The spell circle glows, light surging around them, and a deep energy coming from the core of their own selves is drawn forth, rushing through their connection, mingling and combining until it's impossible to tell apart. Momo remembers the feeling of having his magic signature tied to someone else's, the bizarre feeling of union that's hard for him to describe, so he keeps himself together until the immediacy of the fresh Bond and the feelings that come with it subside a bit and Mirage steps back, dispelling the circle.

And then he faceplants into Yuki's chest to hide his face, clinging to his shirt and sniffling quietly like they both don't already know he's about to turn into a waterfall and like Yuki isn't going to feel it soak through his shirt in about 0.5 seconds.]

[Yuki's eyes stay focused on Momo for the duration of what he's saying, taking it all in, wavering on wanting to comfort Momo and wanting to just let him finish. Will Momo ever realize just how much he has saved Yuki? How Yuki's life would be hollow without his partner? All Momo has to do is be himself and it will make Yuki the happiest idiot alive. And god, does he feel like an idiot right now. If he were better with things like this, maybe Momo wouldn't cry. Or maybe he'd cry more...?

It's over before Yuki fully absorbs everything, and he hardly notices Mirage moving in. It's impossible to miss the rush and the strangeness of the Bond forming, but once it does, it feels to him like his heart and Momo's are beating together. Like their lives are intertwined unbreakably. And in that moment, Yuki feels safe. Kept. Treasured.

He throws his arms around Momo when he's clung to, ducking his head toward his partner.]

Momo... you're every bit as incredible as you think I am. You're my hero, you know.

[He smiles.]

My idol. The best.

[Momo reaches up to cling to Yuki's shoulders instead once he's embraced, bumping his head against Yuki's but still hiding his face.] Is that supposed to make me cry less...?

[He sounds happy despite his tearful, wavering tone, and Mirage gives them an affectionate, motherly sort of smile before winking.

"I think I'll leave you to it then, gents. Congratulations and all the best with it."

She murmurs something and taps her staff on the ground twice, and simply...disappears, in a shower of illusory glitter that falls upon the two of them before disappearing itself. Momo sniffles a few times, like he's trying to get hold of himself but failing miserably, and then tightens his grip on Yuki enough that his nails press into the back of his shoulders.]

You'll always be the best thing in the world to me, Yuki. My sweet, handsome gentleman. I love you.

[His voice is saying that, while his grip is pretty much just saying "mine" at this point. Yuki saying sweet things about him tends to tap into a very particular part of his brain.]

[Yuki doesn't care if Momo cries more, less, or the same. They've taken a weirdly honest step forward together. Maybe it's that Yuki's still in fight or flight mode from having to be vulnerable, or maybe it's that he's weirdly protective when Momo's like this... But all he manages for a few moments is staying upright and nodding.]

I love you, Momo.

[He smiles faintly once he finally manages words.]

...which of us is coming up with the ground rules? The dos and do nots of Bonds? [Kidding.]

[Momo nuzzles at his shoulder and his grip tightens, if possible, even more, but he finally shows his face when Yuki asks that follow-up question. His eyes are still very red and wet, but it gets a laugh out of him.]

Isn't that just the same sort of thing as the ground rules for when we live together? I already cleaned up the cottage, don't make me follow any more rules...

[Momo's house here had very much been his typical organised chaos when Yuki showed up, but like when they'd shared a house back in the day, he pulled himself in again to suit Yuki's preference for a neat house.]

[That laugh was all Yuki wanted. It's all he ever needs to feel marginally human, even here. That sweet laugh, something Momo gives freely to the world, but something Yuki equally guards jealously. It makes Yuki chuckle a bit in response.]

You being you is enough, in that case. I'll keep the rest of my requests to myself.

[He makes it sound like there's a list, but he's got his troll smirk going, so...]

Well, anyway. I do have one tiny one. Can we spend the rest of the day together? Just us. I mean... Even if we go out somewhere, you're the only thing I'll see.

[Swoon, peach boy.]

[It's hard to get his real swoon face on when he's still happy crying, but it's also very hard not to swoon a little when Yuki says something like that. So Momo makes a compromise of sorts and turns himself around, laying back against Yuki like he's pretending to faint against him and so Yuki can see his teary but dramatically romanced face when he leans it back against his shoulder.]

Yuki, you're so handsome...how could I say no to a line like that? My heart's too weak against you...

[He reaches an arm around to rub the top of Yuki's head affectionately, like he's petting him. He has minimal gentle trolling recourse right now, so he'll just take the easy option.]

[Maybe he wants Momo to stop crying, just a little bit. Even if he knows it's happy crying, it elicits a definite response from Yuki's brain. He must stop the crying and make his beloved Momo smile with his whole heart.

But, you know what? They're riding high on this, so Yuki will play along. He moves Momo so he can dip him back like they're in some saucy ballroom pose. It skillfully makes him immune to head pats, of course.]

There's more where that came from.

[Momo's getting there - he's not so much actively crying now, but he's still a little bit caught up in the moment so his eyes are still watery. The dip makes him blush a bit more visibly, though (even if he also reaches one hand down behind him in case Yuki drops him. Force of habit). The other one goes up in front of his face in an exaggerated shy look, which he's hoping might distract Yuki from his failsafe.]

Did having to talk about your feelings like that unlock a secret emotional and sexy Yuki for the day? I must be super lucky!

[His voice is considerably less watery at this point, at least.]

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[closed] Of monsters and men

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