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IM 15 I CANT GET MARRIED
Who: Gon and Killua
When: 7/17
Where: The Coven
What: baby's first bonding ceremony (they are both the baby in question)
Warnings: none!
[after rolling around for a couple of days in anxiety, Gon finally asserted to Killua on the 16th that they do the bonding ceremony the next day. it's been enough days to prepare—Gon's peeked in on some classes about bonding, and he's taken a couple of days to write his vows. in general, while able to succinctly express himself, Gon's not terribly poetic, and any attempt in that direction is of course too unlike him to where it's uncomfortable and embarrassing to consider. but at the same time, to concisely put together his feelings regarding Killua is a tremendous feat. stuff he's been thinking about for over a year...
but it would be a lie to say that he hadn't been eager to express his intentions a bit more to Killua. so now's the time. honestly, while the couple of days have been for crossing his Ts and dotting his is with the process, it's mostly just been for Gon to feel centered enough to be more natural about the process. you know. acclimation. maybe. Gon is completely unused to being this nervous about anything, and he hopes that he can get his dumb head on straight after this is all out of the way. before meeting Killua at the Coven, Gon wakes early; he meditates, works out, bathes, has a good meal and various things to be sure he's worked out any weird jitters.
so he greets Killua with his expected pep and enthusiasm, eyes bright as he waves his friend down, his warm charcoal gray ears lifting with his expression. he's only just gotten used to them, and they're finally no longer sore. in the summer heat, Gon's simply dressed in his shorts and undershirt (scandalous as ever in the eyes of the natives to this world, unbeknownst to Gon), and the fur on the tops of his forearms are a bit denser and spans out longer, about to his elbow, and a little past his wrists. Gon's horns are no longer cast over by flesh and mottled scabs; they're still modest, but the keratin is exposed, and they're a little bit longer. they have a nice sheen, but are a simple and dull gray, not yet with any other attributes; they have what looks to be the beginning of points, but no length or curve, and his fur may appear a bit more dense. there's a chance that Killua may notice the fur previously covering the fronts and backs of his shins (though, funnily, not the sides of them) seems to be creeping out from the tops of his boots, just a bit...]
Killua!!
When: 7/17
Where: The Coven
What: baby's first bonding ceremony (they are both the baby in question)
Warnings: none!
[after rolling around for a couple of days in anxiety, Gon finally asserted to Killua on the 16th that they do the bonding ceremony the next day. it's been enough days to prepare—Gon's peeked in on some classes about bonding, and he's taken a couple of days to write his vows. in general, while able to succinctly express himself, Gon's not terribly poetic, and any attempt in that direction is of course too unlike him to where it's uncomfortable and embarrassing to consider. but at the same time, to concisely put together his feelings regarding Killua is a tremendous feat. stuff he's been thinking about for over a year...
but it would be a lie to say that he hadn't been eager to express his intentions a bit more to Killua. so now's the time. honestly, while the couple of days have been for crossing his Ts and dotting his is with the process, it's mostly just been for Gon to feel centered enough to be more natural about the process. you know. acclimation. maybe. Gon is completely unused to being this nervous about anything, and he hopes that he can get his dumb head on straight after this is all out of the way. before meeting Killua at the Coven, Gon wakes early; he meditates, works out, bathes, has a good meal and various things to be sure he's worked out any weird jitters.
so he greets Killua with his expected pep and enthusiasm, eyes bright as he waves his friend down, his warm charcoal gray ears lifting with his expression. he's only just gotten used to them, and they're finally no longer sore. in the summer heat, Gon's simply dressed in his shorts and undershirt (scandalous as ever in the eyes of the natives to this world, unbeknownst to Gon), and the fur on the tops of his forearms are a bit denser and spans out longer, about to his elbow, and a little past his wrists. Gon's horns are no longer cast over by flesh and mottled scabs; they're still modest, but the keratin is exposed, and they're a little bit longer. they have a nice sheen, but are a simple and dull gray, not yet with any other attributes; they have what looks to be the beginning of points, but no length or curve, and his fur may appear a bit more dense. there's a chance that Killua may notice the fur previously covering the fronts and backs of his shins (though, funnily, not the sides of them) seems to be creeping out from the tops of his boots, just a bit...]
Killua!!
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It's a huge lie.
His heart threatens to burst out of his throat when he hears his name in that familiar voice. He turns, a bit too suddenly, eyes a little too wide.
He takes in Gon's appearance in a moment, taking note instinctively of each small change, committing him to memory all over again. He swallows. ]
Gon.
[ Killua raises a hand. For a moment, he's not sure what to do with it, whether to reach out or not, getting the sudden and near-overwhelming urge to hug him. Instead, he just waves. ]
Ugh, it's so hot today, isn't it? I'm already all sweaty... gross.
[ It's not the heat as much as it is the nerves.
For being the one to suggest it outright, Killua finds himself kind of terrified. He's still not sure what he's even going to say. Not that he hasn't thought about it, of course, but-- ]
L-let's get inside already.
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[Gon ruffles his fingers through the fur on his arms with a little scowl. it's not terribly fine, but not quite coarse, either... but it is dense, and soft. perfect for trapping heat. blech.]
Yeah, it's probably cooler in there! I think maybe the architecture helps? All the stone...
[but Gon doesn't really know anything beyond intuition. Gon leads the way, though not unawares of Killua's nerves. he doesn't blame him; Gon is nervous too. but at the moment, he feels pretty calm, so he's confident enough to be casual enough about it to help Killua feel not too weird.
for now. Gon knows this is going to get extremely not casual very quickly. he's actively trying not to think about it, for now.
as they pass inside, they're guided to their destination in waiting, whereupon they're met by the witch that Killua had made an appointment with. though Gon had expressed his urgency yesterday, he totally forgot to follow through with an actual appointment, but thankfully, Killua has an entire brain. so here they are.
the Witch, tall, reedy but nonetheless somewhat imposing, guides the boys down a corridor to where the ceremony is to take place. along the way, Gon is distracted by the walls of intricate stained glass, chattering enthusiastically (but quietly) about it as they go.]
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It is significantly cooler in the building, thanks to the stone structure and magitech. Perhaps some sort of cooling spells as well? Killua tries to detect what it could be, but there's just way too much magic all over the place here, and he doesn't have the kind of knowledge of finesse yet.
It's a distraction. Just as much as Gon's chattering about the architecture and stained glass is.
Killua's heart is thudding loudly in his temples, nearly drowning out Gon's voice. Each step feels like it's pulling them closer to--
Something. Something Killua has no name for. It isn't just the Bond for necessity's sake. It isn't just this place. He watches Gon: the way the unfamiliar long ears twitch, the subtle tension in his back and shoulders, the pointless chatter meant to distract them both, and he knows that Gon feels it too.
Once they arrive, the tall Witch who led them here calmly asks both them to step into the magic circle painted on the stone floor, moving around them once they oblige to begin activating the spellwork.
Killua stands inside the circle facing Gon. So close that in the stillness he can feel Gon's breath stirring the air in front of him. He wonders if Gon can hear his pounding heart. ]
Join hands, please, [ says the Witch, stopping near them outside the edge of the circle.
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Gon can also hear Killua breathing, and the deliberation executed to keep it steady. subtle, nuanced things Gon can only notice this close because he knows Killua so well, and, of course, unfortunately for Killua, because Gon has such sharp senses.
though Gon appears relaxed when he steps in the circle, he's sure he's just as easily read for the lie. his heart is racing, and he has to consciously remind himself to untense, but like Killua, his outward demeanor is truly calm.
and Gon considers it a little funny—a couple years ago, Gon would have eagerly and thoughtlessly just snatched Killua's hands up with a beaming giggle towards the Witch and then Killua himself. but instead, it immediately spikes Gon's heart rate. he knows he's making it bigger than it needs to be, but it does feel like something outside of the Bond is hinged on this. not divisively, per se...
imagining how he might have acted in this situation a couple of years ago, however, Gon does exactly that, though not with such deliberately careless hubris. his heart rate speeds in a lurch the second the Witch helpfully instructs them, and there isn't much time after that before Gon takes both of Killua's hands. if Killua couldn't hear Gon's heartbeat previously, he could now surely feel it. despite his pulse, Gon's expression is relatively even.
Gon tries to ignore how nice and soft Killua's hands are, now—evidence of a peaceful life without him. they'll stay that way.]
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Killua's eyes widen when he's grabbed, and for a moment, he freezes up a little. He stares at Gon's face, the determined look in his eyes. Then, carefully, Killua turns his hands to lace his fingers with Gon's.
His heart is pounding. ]
Very good.
[ Killua spares the Witch a strangely anxious glance, looking back at Gon again immediately after. His mouth opens slightly. Closes again. He takes a breath, trying and failing to sound casual. ]
Okay, cool... So what are we supposed to do now? Say we agree to be Bonded or whatever?
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he's pretty sure they've never held hands like this. maybe incidental touching, or pulling eachother around, or handshakes...
as Gon contemplates literally the dumbest shit as usual, the Witch appointing them very subtly raises her thin brows to Killua's question.]
Your vows, of course, [she answers, and Gon's gaze snaps back up to Killua. oh. right. there's his jitters. Gon subconsciously gives Killua's hands an antsy squeeze. jeez, was Gon the more studied one in this situation, for once!? that almost made it worse...]
Hands together as you step forward unto embarking harmony, make your intentions to your Bonded heard from the earnest depths of your heart. Forge your promise, and the magical tethering may proceed to christen your word.
[seeming to realize that Killua might not... have... such things prepared, the Witch casts a glance to Gon, who stiffens and straightens up anxiously. she raises a thin eyebrow, and Gon's head
completely empties.]
Oh. Um. Y-yeah, I can go first...!
[Gon more or less expected that; Killua was shier about that kind of thing, but Gon had been hoping to reference Killua for tone.]
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Stupid... augh!
Killua freezes up again, eyes falling to their entwined hands. When Gon gives them a squeeze, his heart skips, restarts with a stuttering, hard thump inside his chest. He feels like he's practically about to start vibrating with anxious anticipation.
It sounds so formal. Killua takes the 'stepping forward' bit perhaps too literally as he takes a tiny step closer to Gon. He opens his mouth--
And then Gon cuts in, saving him. For the moment. ]
Uh... y-yeah! Sure. I don't care. Go ahead, Gon.
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the Witch watches them with an expression crossed between mildly perplexed and perhaps sardonically amused behind the slight frowning of her thin lips, wondering precisely why these two were so anxious in the first place. Mirrorbounds missing the minutia of the customs, perhaps overthinking...]
Okay. Sorry, I gotta say what I mean...
[well, whatever, Killua's going to be embarrassed no matter what.]
I, Gon Freecss, promise to be a good partner in this Bond, and to be a better friend and maybe a better person; I'll be more mindful of my own body and safety, and to do my best to keep my Bonded safe. I wanna work hard towards being a rock instead of a storm.
[he's nervous buuuuttt it's pretty clear Gon memorized what he wanted to say! ...it used to be longer, and too personal to divulge in front of a stranger...]
So... I choose Killua to be my Bonded cuz he's strong enough to see me, and I want to pay that kindness back by becoming strong in a new way.
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The words out of Gon's mouth are so characteristic in earnestness and intention -- but stand alongside the less familiar self-awareness and the way his voice quivers a little around the edges with nerves and raw sincerity.
Killua's vision fogs slightly; he blinks, fast. ]
Gon...
[ The soft syllable spills out of him, unexpected even to Killua in the beat of silence that follows. His hands squeeze Gon's hard in surprise.
The world stills, slowing. His breathing feels so loud. For a moment, Killua finds himself processing too many feelings to name, overtaken by the simple fact that he understands something now that he'd only grasped the shadow of before. It hits him how hard Gon is trying, in his own way. How he's been observing, keeping his distance in ways meant for Killua's benefit. The guilt he'd clearly felt for what had happened during the eclipse. Even the questions about Bonding on the public network that had made Killua so frustrated with him.
He's trying to be a better friend -- a better partner, now. After everything that's happened, after the time and distance for both of them to think on it and start to heal, the honesty and acknowledgement is a relief. It may not sound like it to the Witch overseeing the ceremony, but Killua hears the apology in Gon's vows. It makes his chest ache.
After several seconds too long in awkward, tense silence, Killua finally manages to unstick his throat enough to say more. ]
I... I want to Bond with Gon.
[ A breath. ]
I promise to stay by his side and support him-- in the ways that will help him keep his promise. To keep him safe too. Even from himself.
[ Killua swallows, looking down at their hands. Looking at Gon's face makes his cheeks burn and his heart pound and he feels so awkward and he can't remember sentences or how to form them. ]
A-and to do... all the stuff Bonded Witches are supposed to do with the giving magic and... and stuff.
[ He manages to look up at the Witch while avoiding Gon's gaze as thoroughly as possible. ]
Okay, seriously-- This is enough, isn't it? For the spell or whatever?
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then Killua finally speaks, and Gon smiles lopsidedly. he's as concise as expected, but shy, unable to even sustain eyecontact with Gon any longer. Gon tilts his head, his smile growing a little more confident as he watches how Killua bashfully fusses.
it's nice to hear that Killua wants to Bond with him in earnest, even if he'd said so on the network. Gon's convinced it isn't just out of Killua's anxiety for Gon's safety, now.
he beams at the Witch with Killua's question, and she has an eyebrow poised high on her brow, crinkling the fine skin.]
Yes, [she answers. she then wraps up their vows with some more formal due process, and it isn't long before she elegantly speaks an incantation, her arms moving broadly with practiced ease to draw out visible, thick cords from either boy. they seem to be somewhat manipulated by her movement, differing in color slightly, and Gon's reminded of Nen immediately, watching in wide-eyed wonder as the Witch pretzels the two energies into a little knot with some final words.
then, just as simply, those energies vanish after a bright, pulsing swell of light from their joining that makes Gon exclaim out loud in awe. Gon blinks, little spots of light left behind his eyelids from the sight. he glances at Killua, then the Witch.]
Wow, cool... Are we done?
[The Witch nods, then smiles wryly.]
...You may release your hands, now.
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It's subtle, but as the magical threads vanish into thin air, Killua could swear he feels something, somehow clicking into place; it's an oddly satisfying sensation, like the sort of pleased thrill of pressing the last piece of a puzzle into place.
He doesn't even realize he's still gripping Gon's hands until the Witch points it out. ]
--oh.
[ Embarrassed, Killua pulls his hands quickly back and sticks them into his pockets. Super casual. For sure. ]
Well... that's it, then. It was quicker than I thought.
[ He narrows his eyes up at the Witch (largely to avoid meeting Gon's) to demand: ]
You sure you did it right?
[ Honestly, he doesn't doubt it and he has no reason at all to be rude to the person helping them out, but Killua feels antsy and strange and way too keyed-up after that. Harping on the old lady for just doing her job is far easier than trying to sort out his feelings. ]
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Gon feels a similar innate comfort internally that he can't name, and it's fun to feel the thrum of something unconventional and magical head to toe again. utterly unlike anything he's ever felt, but the feeling is there regardless.
and besides that, he feels tremendously lighter. because, yes, okay, he did get his way, there's no overlooking that. but this time that isn't a bad thing, because his way was Killua's way, too. but having said his vows, Gon also got a lot of stuff on his chest, heavy stuff he's just been carrying around. not to say that he isn't still...um, carrying stuff around, a little—but one boulder is a lighter burden than two.
Gon chats up the witch exuberantly, asking her all kinds of needling little questions about her past with Bonding ceremonies, and she thankfully humors him due to Gon's charisma stat dump. once at the mouth of the hall way she'd initially lead them down, back to the lobby, the Witch bids them adieu, and Gon waves at her enthusiastically with a called-out goodbye.
and just like that, they're left where they first stepped into the Coven initially, and Gon beams at Killua. Gon suspects Killua might still be a little frazzled at the ends of his nerves, so he knows he should be gentle, but it's... hard... when he's so pleased.]
Killua!! We did it!
[Gon laughs, leaning back.]
Now I won't go crazy and you won't explode! It's such a relief I don't have to think about it anymore.
[Gon's expression softens a little as he smiles at Killua, and he grips the straps to his backpack.]
Thank you. I'm happy.
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It's not a big difference, but it's there. When he concentrates, he can feel Gon. Like a flicker of warmth somewhere in the back of his consciousness, an invisible pull. The urge to reach out and touch him again is strong, but Killua resists it. For now.
Saying his own goodbye -- and perhaps an unexpected thank you -- to the Witch when they're escorted back to the main part of the building, Killua finally turns to face Gon again fully. His chest warms, tight but not in an unpleasant way.
He smiles back. ]
What're you thanking me for, stupid? We decided to do this together.
[ Pulling one hand out of his pocket, Killua lifts his arm as he takes a step closer. Arm-bump? ]
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[FUCK THAT!! Gon doesn't even consider something as low-key as an arm bump, but meets Killua's feelings half way by slapping his hand across Killua's in a familiar way they've done hundreds of times through the duration of their friendship, grinning and giggling as he facilitates and guides their handshake.]
I can be grateful if I want to!
[Gon practically spins on his heel in a jovial little march after that, his giddiness apparent and palpable—perhaps in a way Killua can feel. Gon, however, remains a simple lad and hasn't squinted closely on those nuances, too elated by the relief and the joy of the ceremony completed. again, yes, a burden off his shoulders—in more way than one—but also just something that feels indescribably good. were he less distracted, Gon might have had at least the mind to wonder when the last time was that he felt so happy.]
Anyway, have you eaten since this morning? Maybe we should go get some lunch or something! I have some money.
[Gon laughs a little again as he begins to waltz towards the exit of the Coven, marching backwards so he can still grin cheekily at his friend.]
Or...since we aren't billionaires anymore, I could also maybe cook something?
[not that the occasion isn't worth throwing some money down on, but... you know. Gon knows it'll take a long time for Killua to spend money like a normal person, if the day ever comes at all. and that's fine. maybe he should have written something about check-balancing in his vows.]
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Gon's grinning and giggling is contagious. He grins back stupidly-- then groans with exaggerated disappointment at the reminder they don't have money here. ]
Aww, why'd you have to bring that up? It's so annoying having to keep track of stuff like that.
[ Keeping track of your money and expenses. Wow. What a terrible, impossible to imagine thing. ]
I am pretty hungry though...
[ He'd been too nervous to eat in the morning, even though he'd worked out as usual. Oops. ]
Huh? Uh, if you want to cook something, I guess... Like what though?
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I could make fish filet and rice! I have some good mushrooms, too.
[not exactly up Killua's alley, Gon thinks, but it's close enough that he might go for it. if all else failed, they could try to find some cheap street food... which would also be quicker, if Killua was already so hungry.]
I don't mind getting you something to eat if you don't wanna wait, but your penalty for that is that I'll have you help me cook something next time!
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[ Keeping track of finances is for nerds with too much free time, clearly! Killua has way better things to do. Like buy a bunch of useless shit with the money he's not keeping track of. ]
Hmm... [ he grumbles, sticking his hands in his pockets again as he turns on his heel, marching toward the exit from the courtyard with the clear expectation Gon will follow. ]
That doesn't sound bad, I guess... [ but it does sound kind of boring. ]
Hey, you don't have to get me something to eat! I can take care of it myself, you know. I'm just obliging you since you're so weirdly gung-ho about cooking all of a sudden. Whatever. Cook fish if you want to, I'll eat it. But I'm getting dessert too.
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[Gon does indeed follow Killua, and he narrows his eyes, scowling.]
Okay, fine! Get dessert... but I'm gonna show you tonight, then.
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[ Killua speeds up, huffing audibly. There's a patisserie not too far out of the way. He thinks Gon will like some of their fruit pastries. Not that he's about to actually say that or do more than obliquely point it out and later pretend he hadn't thought of it at all. Of course.
Gon declares that like he's just decided something major. Killua glances over his shoulder. ]
Show me what?
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[ But he's lazy and he doesn't know how to cook anything that interesting, so why bother? ]
I've been doing odd jobs here and there when they sound interesting. There was this pet store that had a bunch of weird cats run away... I got some money out of them. Are you suggesting I get a job now too?
[ Killua meets his smile with a scowl, incredulous.
A job?! Imagine! ]
Have you been working regularly?
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[Gon beams and laughs, amused by Killua's chafing.]
I wasn't gonna suggest it, and I'm not gonna do it either. Which means it's good to get better at cooking and not eat out so much.
Anyway, I've kinda been doing jobs like that too! But I was actually considering maybe helping out some of the fishermen on the boats at the docks? Maybe just for a little while, before I get hooves...
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That makes sense. You're a total fishing nerd.
But why until you get hooves? I don't think they're gonna be on your hands so what's that got to do with fishing...?
[ oh god. HOPEFULLY NOT?! ]
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I'd totally slip on the deck way more with hooves!! Also, being on damp wood or in water all the time would be bad for them. I could get hoof rot!
Unless they make like... Faun waders... I guess that's not a crazy thing to consider a possibility. But! Anyway, I wouldn't wanna do that full time or anything. So just a little while is fine.
[Gon is too wild to nail down... apple, tree, etc...]
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[ This is not a thing Killua has ever considered. And now he's low-key worried. At least Gon knows what he's doing. ]
I've seen a lot of hoofed people around here though. There's no way they don't have options. Maybe there are spells that can protect hooves and make them water-resistant? I guess the traction problem is an issue though... traction-enhancing spells?
[ something to ask his instructors about now. ]
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[Gon scratches his cheek, laughing.]
It's kinda funny even talking about this... I'm gonna miss my human legs. You never think about how versatile they are!
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[ Killua slows a little to walk beside him more comfortably rather than hurrying on ahead. He glances over at Gon, watching his expression. ]
Knowing you're going to... change?
[ He thinks it would freak him out. But Gon seems so ready to just accept it and go along with it. Maybe that's for the best. It's not like he's getting a choice.
Killua just wishes there was more he could do to help. And he can't do anything to help if he doesn't know how Gon is feeling. ]
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But—worrying about it won't do anything, though. I'm just happy I got one of the easier forms. And a lot of Faun culture already makes sense to me naturally.
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[ Killua smirks, reaching over to poke one of them lightly. He knows that Gon probably isn't looking for sympathy; it is what it is. Even if it bothers Killua too. Feeling sorry for him isn't actually going to help, and will likely only make Gon feel worse. ]
Pfft, what do you know about Faun culture? Isn't it all drinking and dancing and playing lutes or whatever? [ And... dating... quick, think about something else before he starts blushing-- ]
You don't do any of that stuff!
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Huh? Of course that's not all there is! [Gon huffs defensively, donning a tight scowl. it's true, though—Gon has no interest in the intimate mingling, the dancing, drinking, or lutes. for now. Gon's enjoyed a few parties in the past, but he's pretty sure a faun party isn't something he'd wanna take part in. but surely they have some room for children in their festivities? who knows.]
They commune with nature and stuff too! And they seem to know more about plants and animals than even other Monsters or humans cuz of it.
Maybe that's what young Fauns focus on before they become adults, since that other stuff isn't really appealing to kids...
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[ Killua shifts the angle of his hand to ruffle Gon's hair before moving it out of the way when he starts butting against his palm. That lopsided smile makes his heart thump hard against his ribs.
Too flustered to return it, Killua looks away with a shrug, sticking his hands back in his pockets as he walks faster. ]
I guess you do know a lot about plants and animals. That's lucky. Though there are different plants and stuff here than I've seen back home...
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Oh, yeah! There's a lot. I've been reading about them, but I bet Fauns that are from this world know better than any books I've seen so far... Whenever I go out during the day time, if I'm not making any money, I'm practicing foraging. I'm starting to recognize a lot of stuff without having to reference anything!
Haven't gotten brave enough to try eating anything just yet, though.
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I guess that could be useful when we go out exploring... but you don't really need to forage when we live in a city.
And you especially don't need to start eating random stuff! Ask someone first, you weirdo. It's not like we're in the middle of nowhere.
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[Gon is so extra in the randomest places.....]
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[ Killua sticks his tongue out at him with an exaggerated gagging noise. ]
Gross, Gon!
[ he knows that's not what Gon means. it doesn't matter. Gon would probably go lick dirt, after all. ]
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[Gon gives Killua's shoulders a little push, grinning as he jogs a couple steps to catch up to him.]
How do you think I got so strong? [he teases, his voice then breaking with another little laugh. Gon knows, of course, it's his freakish genes.]
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Having insisted on dessert, Killua swings by a patisserie to grab a couple of decorative tiny cakes piped with summer flowers. Part of it is because it feels like a special occasion (it is a special occasion) and it feels somehow more commemorative with a cake, even if that's more a notion he got from other people than his own experience. But Killua won't say that part aloud. He's satisfied just spending time with Gon like this. Feeling Gon's happiness in a soft echo to his own, now. It's... more soothing than he'd expected it might be.
Depending on what Gon wants to cook, they might need to stop by the market as well, but eventually, they make it to Killua's cottage. He leads the way in. ]
Phew, it's hot...
Oh! I was able to find some soda here. I didn't expect it. It came out of some crazy big magitech machine! I bought a few bottles. Wanna try some?