(closed) behind every door is a fall

[mensrea]

Who: Stiles Stilinski, Jonas Ward, and Sasuke Uchiha
When: Morning of Iuneril 15
Where: Stiles and Jonas’ cottage
What: Surprisingly: not polygamous dating! Stiles finally tells Jonas about Donovan
Warnings: Discussion of an accidental killing made in self-defense, PTSD, related topics

[ After surviving the longest, most agonizing shift at Worse Dragon yet – in an admittedly short period of employment there – he power walks around the city as if his anxiety were nipping at his heels. Though he intended to use this time to construct an ironclad defense should he need one, his mind only whirls in frenetic circles as he repeatedly plays the last memory he has of Scott. Inevitably, like a dog chasing its tail, his frustration and dormant rage build. Stiles burns through it by running, a form of exercise his body protests wearily against, which is how dawn finds him: exhausted mentally and physically, soaked with sweat, and red-rimmed eyes shadowed by deep bruises. He slips into the cottage quietly, hoping that Jonas is asleep, and showers.

Then he sits in the living room, hands wringing thin ropes of silk from his recently developed wrist spinnerets as he waits for Sasuke to arrive and Jonas to come downstairs. At least his thoughts have quieted; his end of the Bond is unnaturally placid. There’s no doubt he’ll become increasingly agitated while talking about Donovan, but for now he can enjoy the eye of the storm. ]

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[mensrea]

[ Eyes still burning hot with tears, he begins to make the slow, painstaking ascent to pseudo-normalcy. Despite his more sensitive nature, Stiles is wholly unaccustomed to friends who actually acknowledge and respond to his emotional outbursts. Even Scott – True Alpha, can-do-no-wrong Scott McCall – normally just shoots him a pained and awkward look as if to say, “Pull yourself together, dude.” His ex-best friend used his werewolf abilities to absorb pain more on strangers than he ever did on Stiles – something that the Arachne is beginning to scrutinize more closely with the distance between them now. So, for Jonas to take the time to console him like this… Well, he’s sorely tempted to allow himself to break down fully. Just for a little. Just for a while. But though he understands logically it wouldn’t be selfish to, he still balks at the idea of leaning that heavily on Jonas. The Bond must be suffocating enough as it is. He’s dealt with this silently for the past six months; Stiles can learn how to unload bit by bit so as to not overwhelm either of them.

Jonas guides them toward where Sasuke sits and, at the touch of a hand on his arm, Stiles manages a watery grin in the direction of the Vampire. As ridiculous as he feels right now, with his face blotchy red from crying and his nose stuffed up, he can’t muster up the usual energy to be self-conscious. Not in front of these two, not right now. He’s so damn lucky to have met them – to have befriended them – sentiments of which he wants to voice, corny or not. ]

…Thanks, [ he says instead, addressing them. The hands that had been fiercely clutching at Jonas release the young man to wipe at his face. ] F-for listening to me. Both of you.

[ Inhaling deeply, he gives himself a moment to dry his eyes on the shoulder of his shirt before turning again to Jonas, expression grim. ]

I think…you already get it, but I need to be explicit about it so there’s no misunderstandings. I was glad when I realized that Donovan was dead. That I wouldn’t have to try helping the guy who wanted me and my dad dead. I know that probably makes me a little fucked up as a person, but it’s the truth.