It's not good enough. Jin Guangyao isn't as strong as Lan Xichen, but he fights that initial attempt to pull back with every ounce of his strength, as awkward as it is with his arm outstretched like that; just as much doesn't try to push it any more forward than pricking the fabric. He absolutely could step forward and force himself onto the blade, but that's not the point this time.

"You can tell me with a straight face that you can't help your doubts, all the while still refusing to accept that I really couldn't help any of the things I did," he replies bitterly, and even if that's not entirely accurate in regards to his crimes, in the heat of the emotional moment it rings true through the bond because Jin Guangyao believes it himself.

It's hypocritical for him to cling on to his own pain of the past, lying each time he said he'd let it go, all while wanting Xichen to genuinely forget all about it, but Jin Guangyao doesn't care, now that they're back speaking of it again. So what if he can feel that affection, when it clearly meant so little, to came with disagreements and conditions attached to it.

So he refuses to let go, still with his hand clenched tightly to hold the sword in Lan Xichen's grip. "If all you can do is doubt and disagree, perhaps it would be better this way." He can't cry anymore, but his lip trembles.