[SEMI-OPEN] Better not be the one who falls in love again

[plasticasshole]

Who: Connor and an open prompt (with other closed prompts later)
When: April!
Where: Aefenglom
What: Meteor shower for now
Warnings: None yet


Everyone wants to fly with the fireflies; (April 3rd)
[It's beautiful, honestly. Connor has never seen a meteor shower, nor has he seen the insects that accompany it. They land on him, and he might glow a soft pink or blue in places, or even green. The emotions that accompany the colours don't bother him as much as the folks pushing him towards anyone whose colours match, but he just lets it happen. He was going to meet new people anyway, right? Strangers get small, polite smiles.]

I'm sorry. We could take this time to get to know each other better, and they'll leave us alone?

[Of course, people who know him get a different response-]

Oh. Well, it could probably be worse.

[He's joking. Made (hopefully) obvious by the way he nudges the other person playfully. The Full Moons are nearing, he's feeling a little bit sassy.]

Wildcard;
(I'll write a prompt out if we plot something, or you can write your own! I'd rather keep memory share stuff to the event post when it goes up, but anything else goes! My plurk is novicecity if you want to plan something! As for which colour Connor gets, I'll either RNG it or you can pick~)

Comments

[plasticasshole]

I wanted you to actually open the door for me.

[He's not sorry.]

I came here for your own safety. And don't be dramatic, you know I wasn't actually telling you to end your life.

[He starts scouring the room, eyes immediately falling on the bottles and pills.]

No more of these tonight, I think.

[He swiftly picks up the pills and what's left of the alcohol, and pours it in the sink. He then heads into the bathroom to flush the pills, before standing in front of L again. He stares at him intently, scanning his body, monitoring his vitals for a few moments.]

I don't understand what's so appealing about doing this to yourself.

[hearthebell]

[L begins a series of flustered protests when Connor sweeps up his cheap liquor and unlabeled pills, but his reaction time and physical strength don't give him any realistic hope of stopping the android merrow. He watches in frosty, glazed silence as Connor disposes of it all, glad that he himself works just as methodically. There's already enough in his system to push the upward limits of his tolerance, and any more would probably have made him sick, defeated the entire purpose. It would have been saved for future Fridays.]

You don't understand...? You're not human.

[There's disdain in L's voice. It's unclear whether it's for Connor, or for the only human in the room.]

"Appeal" is the least of it.

[Like "pleasure" is merely an absence of pain.]

[plasticasshole]

[He goes to sit beside L, and gives him a frown.]

Linden... you're sick. You need help, not pills and liquor. Those are only a temporary solution to an ongoing problem, and I'd imagine in the long run they're only going to make things worse. Think of what you're doing to your body. Your mind.

[hearthebell]

[Connor, while blunt, sounds precisely like a textbook manual for logically explaining why destructive behavior is bad. L forgives the smack of condescension for Connor's artificial nature, alone, but a change comes over his pale face, freezing it sullen, with the particular words you're sick.

He's heard them before, and been able to brush them off... but it's always lurked at the back of his skull, the notion of a ticking time bomb, some twisted inheritance that was always going to come for him.]

I'm not. And I don't.

[Denial so fierce it must be forced.]

There is no "long run." There was never going to be. I came here for something I needed, in a way that wouldn't hurt anyone, and I could have been sleeping by now.

[Deep, dreamless, untroubled. Asshole.]

[plasticasshole]

Oh, well, that's fine then.

[Said dryly, because Connor can detect that denial a mile off.]

Denying the truth won't make it go away. You need a professional, someone who can assess you and help you get well again.

[He just wishes he knew where to find someone like that in Aefenglom.]

Why wouldn't you want that?

[hearthebell]

[Because disappointment is what happens when impossible expectations don't live up to reality. Humans naturally avoid feeling it.]

There's no one in this world who can do what you're talking about. There wasn't anyone in my world. Wanting it is the most counterproductive thing I could do, if I was unwell.

[plasticasshole]

Wanting help is the first step to getting it, isn't it?

[He watches L intently, eyes studying him.]

And you aren't alone here. There are people who want to help you, to see you get better. People who can support you if needed.

[He leans in, that earnest look back in his eyes again.]

You need to stop taking pills and drinking alcohol, and stop antagonising the wrong people. Maybe eat a little healthier, too.

[hearthebell]

[Connor's prescribing all of it like it's easy, like it's an option. Like it's obvious. And doesn't that sting the detective's pride.]

I need more than that, and no one is going to give it to me. Just like no one in my world could, even the person who came the closest. It's too much to ask for; what's not too much is a night where I don't have to be who I am for a little while.

[His elbows drop out from under him; he lets his back fall fully onto the mattress.]

I could be anyone right now. I could even be Linden Tailor.

[plasticasshole]

What do you need?

[He shifts on the bed to look down at L.]

In an ideal world, what would you ask for?

[His voice is gentle, even if he doesn't quite understand how L feels right now.]

Don't you want to be Linden?

[hearthebell]

[If L himself knew what he needed, he probably wouldn't keep making mistakes the way he has. So he doesn't answer, just stares up past heavy lids at the android who will not leave him alone.]

I want to be Linden... but I'm not.

[plasticasshole]

You're not?

[He supposes he shouldn't have expected an answer, realistically. So he doesn't push that.]

Who are you, then?

[He can't tell if L means it literally, or if he's high and drunk and making no sense.]

[hearthebell]

It's not my name. I needed something to say when I got here, so I lied...

[Everything is starting to interact in earnest in his system. For a moment, he seems confused by Connor's position over him. What else were they in the middle of, that he perhaps forgot about? This situation doesn't feel sexual, but it isn't like the last one did.]

...are you here because we agreed to have sex?

[plasticasshole]

Then... what is your name?

[Connor pauses, blinking.]

What? No.

[He leans back a little.]

We've never discussed that. And in this state, it would feel awfully like I was taking advantage of you.

[hearthebell]

[L takes advantage of the extra space, inching backward on the mattress warily.]

I thought... perhaps it was the way you found me. A prior agreement...

[Presumably made when he was in no real shape to make one.]

...so... how did you?

[He has a guess.]

[plasticasshole]

[L you can't just leave him hanging like that...]

Niles.

[He glances out of the window. He can't see anyone, even scanning the area, so maybe he left... probably to find somewhere else to eavesdrop from, because he outed his hiding spot to Connor.]

Speaking of Niles, we need to discuss something. You deliberately antagonised him while he was experiencing a traumatic memory.

[hearthebell]

[L's unfocused gaze attempts to follow Connor's toward the window. If Niles was here, and wanted to throw down, he'd be pretty helpless... not that he didn't realize that risk before coming here, knowingly, with a stalker so tenacious.

At least the alcohol and opiates numb him to everything taxing his senses and his thoughts.]

He attacked me, twice, with real weapons. I didn't feel like I could let that keep happening then, but... my thinking has evolved since, on the matter. If you're worried about it happening again, you shouldn't.

[plasticasshole]

[Connor buries his face in his hands for a moment. You're both... impossible.

He smooths his hands through his hair, giving L a dead-eyed look.]

All you did was make him more determined to hurt you. And after the callous way in which you handled it, I don't know if I can blame him.

[hearthebell]

[L's returning stare is just as dead-eyed, but... well. It usually is, just more so with the added lacquer of the drugs and alcohol.]

I'm callous. I have to be, to solve the problems I need to. That's what it took to break that illusion... he thinks it was easy for me, but it took time and care and focus under no small amount of stress.

[He grinds his teeth for a moment. They ache.]

I'm really mad that you flushed my pills, Connor...

[plasticasshole]

I never said it was easy. But you were an asshole about it, which kind of invalidates your efforts.

[He doesn't seem to care much about L being mad at him, though.]

What do you want me to do about it? They're gone now. And I'm glad they are, because you're already dangerously intoxicated.

[hearthebell]

What if I'd just left but been really sympathetic about it? He would have been there until the Fae took pity on him. Could have taken a lot longer, and hurt a lot more.

[He rolls his overlarge eyes before they slip half-closed, bringing a hand up to grip at the bridge of his nose.]

Sometimes, a person is just angry. I still have that right, last I checked.

[plasticasshole]

What if you'd just helped without making a big deal out of it?

[Why is that so difficult for some people?]

Well, fine. Be angry. I did you a favour, though.

[hearthebell]

I was there to help, and he struck out. Weren't you just the one who told me that I didn't have to let other people walk all over me...? Would you make up your mind, about that?

[Connor could have at least let him keep the liquor. L sort of feels sick anyway, getting this uncharacteristically worked-up.]

[plasticasshole]

Why is it okay for M to do it, but when Niles lashes out it's suddenly wrong? Niles likely would have lashed out at anyone in that state, but you're going to take that personally and not everything M did? Which, by the way, was tailored perfectly to humiliating and degrading you in particular.

[Connor is starting to get irritated himself.]

Why don't you make up your mind? Are you going to stand up for yourself, or lie down and take it?

[hearthebell]

You're kidding yourself if you think they're significantly different people.

[Shit. He's getting the spins.]

...and the point is that different approaches were taken for each, and neither were correct, according to the plentiful input from those who weren't there.

[plasticasshole]

You don't exist in a vacuum. When something happens to you, the people who care about you are affected too. What do you think Myr would say if he could see you like this? He'd be very upset, I'm sure.

[Something about the way he says it seems to allude to the fact that Myr will probably be hearing about this.]

I think you should stop drinking, stop taking pills, and try to turn things around. It isn't too late for you, even if you seem to think it is.