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「 002; 」
Who: Cloud Strife and Aerith Gainsborough.
When: March
Where: Aefenglom
What: Bonding!!
Warnings: None, will update if needed.
You sure you want to do this?
[It's a simple statement, quietly spoken, as they both arrive outside the Coven's main building. It's not like he's apprehensive. Of course not- from the expedition, he's confident that bonding with Aerith would be a good thing for both of them. He felt better during their temporary bond when it'd been up, and from what Aerith herself had said as they'd travelled, her symptoms of magic taking its toll on her had abated too.
That, and what she'd said. She didn't want to explode.
So it's fine. The whole idea is fine- it makes sense, and it's... fine.
Right? So why's he tentative?
Perhaps it's something to do with-
No. Never mind. Zack would understand, right? Exploding, and all.
He brings his eyes back to Aerith from where they'd drifted away, uncrossing his arms from around himself.]
There's things you don't know. And I don't want you going in this not knowing.
When: March
Where: Aefenglom
What: Bonding!!
Warnings: None, will update if needed.
You sure you want to do this?
[It's a simple statement, quietly spoken, as they both arrive outside the Coven's main building. It's not like he's apprehensive. Of course not- from the expedition, he's confident that bonding with Aerith would be a good thing for both of them. He felt better during their temporary bond when it'd been up, and from what Aerith herself had said as they'd travelled, her symptoms of magic taking its toll on her had abated too.
That, and what she'd said. She didn't want to explode.
So it's fine. The whole idea is fine- it makes sense, and it's... fine.
Right? So why's he tentative?
Perhaps it's something to do with-
No. Never mind. Zack would understand, right? Exploding, and all.
He brings his eyes back to Aerith from where they'd drifted away, uncrossing his arms from around himself.]
There's things you don't know. And I don't want you going in this not knowing.
no subject
[Her affirmation is just as quiet, and serious, though she lacks his unease. This was not much a surprise, though — Aerith often navigated the world like this, as if any problem that she had could be circumvented if she was only stubborn enough to solve it.
Besides, it makes the most sense, she rationalizes. Aerith cared freely for others, but trust was harder to come by, and for all that Cloud struggled with himself, she believed in him. And this too would give her a way to keep an eye on him, to watch over in the way that she had after her death. There was nothing strange about it when she thought of it this way: very clean, neat. Black and white. But she feels... not anxious never that. Just a little awkward. A little cautious. After all, he was alive, and she was, well. And there was still the matter of Zack, a thought she had turned over in her head until she felt that it was time to speak it aloud.
Cloud would weather the news, she thought. But it would hurt.
... What he says does take her by surprise, though. She studies him, head tilted just so, her eyebrows raised. There was not much she didn't know, she wants to say.]
Having cold feet? [It's said with the faint stirrings of amusement, though she thinks of Zack again, and sobers some not long after.] What is it?
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[Too much of a reaction? Yeah, way too much. Maybe he should try again.]
It's not that. It's something else. This... [Out with it.] This isn't the first time I've done this. I'm bonded with another 'monster', and it's Sephiroth. You need to know that before we do this.
[A small pause- and of course his eyes stay locked on hers, as he attempts to work out from her body language, her face, what her reaction to something like that would even be.]
I did it because he's changing, same as me. If we get to go back- [Not 'when' anymore. If.] -I got no reason to think things'll play out any differently than what they did. And if he's changed, either physically, or mentally... then things'll probably be worse for all of us at the point he's from.
[And.]
That's if we go back. If we don't get to, then his changes here would've meant he went mad anyway. This place would burn, same as Nibelheim. Might even be worse. But anyway, I don't think us being bonded'll mess you up too much. I don't think you'll get him from me, same way he shouldn't get you from me, either.
...I just wanted you to know.
[It felt dishonest to not say anything.]
But, uh. I get it, if you'd rather not do this, knowing that.
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It's not anger she feels, not now, not ever really. Nothing other than a vague sort of unease, the worry that Cloud might be led astray. But she understands his reasoning, his own worry, and listens with solemn attention. Finally, she nods her head, though how troubled she is can be seen in the way her eyes go dark, the furrow to her brow.
She really had to tell him about Zack, she thinks. It edged steadily into dishonesty, the longer she kept it to herself.] I see.
[A brief exhale, through her teeth.] You know, I... I can't say I'm not worried about it, but I understand what you're trying to do. I think it's a smart idea, but... be careful, okay? For yourself, I mean, and for him.
[She reaches for his hands.] I'd still like to go ahead with it. I trust you, Cloud. But... hm. There's something you need to know, after. It's important.
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[It's a fact. He does, the same way Cloud himself did. That's what this place is- monsters can only share magic. Witches create it. But Sephiroth simply wasn't the type of person to make bonds easily. He'd half-transform before he even tried with a stranger...
It's... something he can relate to. Without Aerith being here, he'd be in the same position. He knows it.]
I'm only a way of keeping him stable until he gets one. So, your power going into me will also help him. You... sure it's all right? Forget about me, I'm more worried about how you feel. With what he did to you- [...Not. exactly. tactful. He pauses, half-wincing at his phrasing. Not good. And painful. He'd never grieved, after all. Of course it still hurt.] - I'd get it if you don't want some portion of your power sustaining him.
...That's all I'm saying.
[He'd been through it all, in his head. Making the bond in the first place- despite knowing that this Sephiroth couldn't be held accountable for atrocities he hadn't committed yet- the smaller part of him- the part that shied away from logic, the selfish part, gnawed at him. He'd actually considered letting whatever happened, happen. Even considered whether or not it'd be a bad thing if he and Sephiroth stayed here, somehow. The planet would be better off without them- at least some version of it might exist where none of the events that led to the Nibelheim crisis ever happened. The hows and whys are vague. He had no real plan, (of course not,) but it was a thought. Taking him out was out of the question, so the thought of some kind of sabotage felt like an option.
...But it'd been quashed. If anything, because it wasn't just him that'd bear the brunt of it. This world didn't deserve it. It had its own problems.
He feels Aerith's smaller, softer hands at either side of one of his, and he lowers his gaze, hooking his fingers- instinctively- around her smaller ones. He can almost fit both of them in his palm, and his eyes stay lowered, as if fascinated, smally, by how delicate she really is, despite her personality being anything but.]
I'll be careful. For you, too. I'm not going to let this affect you- even indirectly. You're too important to me- to everyone.
[This time, he needs to protect her.
The latter statement makes him move his eyes up to her face- and they're unclouded, unsuspicious.]
...Yeah, of course. Whatever you want to tell me, I'll listen.
no subject
And to me.
[She doesn't like talking about her death. For the obvious reasons, sure — it had been violent, it had been frightening, even in a small, disconnected way, even knowing what would happen afterward. But she also doesn't like mentioning it because it was not the same catalyst for her as it had been for the others, not a stone dragging her down. Her life had been expanded, not snuffed out. She could see and know so much more, not tethered to the earth by grief, by human limitation. She had done what she set out to do. She had absolution. The living, those left behind, did not.
But it hurt, still, to see Sephiroth, to hear his voice, to know he was whole, and alive. To see him as he had been, before everything. It made her angry, but mostly it made her sad. Made her feel unsure in a way she had never felt before. Because when they returned, the counter would reset, and the timeline would adjust itself. That was what she thought. Otherwise, what was the point of pulling them all from different times, different places? She wonders if he's doomed no matter what, and even for an enemy, it's an awful thought to have. Because if he was doomed, so was Nibelheim, and Zack, and everyone's lives before his madness pulled it all down into darkness.]
I'm glad you'll be careful. I'll try to be careful too. Look before I leap, you know?
[A wan smile. She squeezes his hands, gently.] And alright. Then we'll talk. Later. For now, we should head in.
no subject
[His own gaze follows her lead by moving to their hands again, thumb moving to trace slow circles against the back of one of hers. Or, more accurately, perhaps it moves a mere circle and a half before he moves his hands away. ...Not because he wants to. More like he feels that he should.
He's quiet. Moreso than usual, because he should tell her that she'll be safe, whatever happens. He wants to say that he'll protect her this time- no matter what- that this time's different from the last. But he can't- he doesn't know if he can, for a start. For another thing, it's...
well.]
...Yeah, you're right. We should go in. C'mon.
no subject
Before (before everything) she would have simply steamrolled over his insecurities, tugged him along because that was what she wanted to do. Sometimes she still did, but... in the here and now, she debates it, then reaches for his hand again, lets their fingers brush in invitation, giving him the option. If he wanted.]
Okay.
[She tries to keep her head clear, as they step into the Coven proper. She'd heard about the Bonds, word of mouth mostly, though she's never seen one up close, let alone been a part of one. And so a discussion is had, and —]
We step in here, right?
[Said as they're motioned into the magic circle.]
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[He... doesn't know anything about the witches. He's a monster, after all, while as a whole they're codependent with the witches, they're not exactly clued into anything. Even if they were, it'd be worthless. Monsters don't exactly have an organization, let alone a level of it anything like the coven.
The idea of bonding- both through the prospect of Aerith not exploding and himself not turning into a creature is something that doesn't really elicit any argument from him. But... he can't help it. From looking around the building, being ushered into the circle alongside Aerith, glancing about at this witch and that witch in the distance, he can't help but feel distrust.
He's instructed to step inside. He's instructed to take her hands again. Which he does- after a small amount of hesitation. And then he's instructed to say words. ]
Huh?
[He casts a look- incredulousness, really- at the closest witch in proximity. And his voice lowers in a harsh whisper to said witch.]
...You want me to-? You serious?
[A silent sigh. And he tilts his head slightly, dumbly holding onto her hands while he tries to put something together, mentally.]
....
...
....
[Shit.
His hands squeeze hers. Lightly.]
...I'll...
[He can't say he'll protect her. No matter how much he wants to. Not after how he failed.]
....be here for you. And when this is over, [When they're home. If they have a home to go back to...] I'm never going to stop looking for you.
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She thinks she should have warned him. But it was too late now, she supposes, and besides, he would've agonized, she's sure. Better to do things in the moment. Gradually, as he speaks, her smile fades some; her expression grows thoughtful. A little melancholy. They're kind words. Genuine words. But so often kindness was painful. The truth, even more so. She knew this lesson all too well.
She lets her smile return, brighter than before. She doesn't want to worry him, though she is grateful that for the moment, they aren't Bonded, because she'd give herself away otherwise.]
Thank you, Cloud. ... That means a lot to me. [Here she turns to the witch overseeing this ceremony, and asks: "my turn?" Once affirmation is given, she nods, decisive, and turns to Cloud again.]
Okay! Here we go. [She gives his hands a squeeze, and takes a deep breath.]
I want you to know...
Everything's going to be alright. Maybe not today, or tomorrow... [She straightens her shoulders, infuses her voice with purpose, looks into his eyes.] I know you don't think so, but I know so. It'll be hard, but I believe in you.
...I hope one day, you'll believe in yourself too. Until then, I'll look out for you. Always.
no subject
[Similarly, her words are kind. And similarly, they elicit a pain, a unique one, from somewhere long forgotten inside of him. It's keen- and it sharpens, aches all the more at the words Until then, as if confirmation that this- all of this- would end.
He wants to say no. He wants to tell her that he doesn't want it to end- he doesn't want her to leave. He wants to be truly selfish, and tell her that he doesn't want for her to be reborn, if it means she has to leave him when this world, it's problems, its everything is in the rearview mirror and reduced to something that happened once.
But.... he can't.]
...Thanks.
[He lowers his head, closes his eyes briefly, as if to dismiss something pricking at them from the corners of his eyes, and then he moves his gaze to the attending witch.
His tone changes.]
Now what.
[It's flat. He's met with a response of 'just wait' which is exactly as his question, flat- and a few seconds pass before chanting fills the air. His gaze turns back to Aerith. And it softens, turns vulnerable again- his grip on her hands tight.]
I mean it. I know what you said before- about how this world doesn't mean all of you will come back to ours-
[A sharp 'shhhh!' comes from the attending witch. But other than a flick of his eyes to her, he doesn't pay it any mind.]
-But I mean it. I don't care if it's hopeless. I'm never going to stop looking for you.
[A louder hiss for quiet happens this time, drowned out in the rising voices of the chant. They're almost yelling it now.
Then, suddenly, the area falls silent. Every candle that lights the circle goes out, all at once as if a sharp gust suddenly extinguishes them, and the voices end all at once.
Cloud falls silent too, looking to Aerith.]
no subject
Her smile now is pained, and is quick to fade, followed by the furrow of her brow.] Cloud, I —
[She starts, but then the chanting picks up and drowns out all other sound. The silence afterward is deafening. Aerith's gaze flickers up again to Cloud, and she feels something, a kind of stirring, static in her fingertips.
What she feels is like the temporary Bond they shared, only somehow stronger. Cloud's presence is like a hand at her back, steadying her, and in turn she reaches out to it, this feeling.
It feels... right.]
Are you okay?
[She asks, finally.]
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Things like this don't normally bother him. But... it's a lot, the expectation of something happening, the worry, since Aerith was here- and if this hurt, she'd be hurt, but they cease before he can. And...
Honestly, the spell's instantaneous. His emotion feels almost like it's reset, what was enough to get him about to panic, about to yell, was gone. In its place, are the emotions she's feeling. Almost peaceful, steadied, and right.
He...
Honestly, he hasn't felt right in so long. It's so strange. ]
Y-yeah. I'm fine.
[Slight flare of concern, going her way.]
You? Watch your step. [It's still entirely dark.] I guess they'll put the lights back on soon.
[And they do. A witch approaches them, collecting their names for their records. Throughout it, Cloud keeps his hand around hers. And after a short rattling off of a list of side-effects, indicators of potential complications, as well as what to do in the event of them, the ceremony is over. And they're led out.
...He's still got hold of her hand. And it's unlike him. He doesn't seem inclined to let it go.]
Thanks. For that.
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[It's pitch black only for a moment, and she has to blink her eyes against the light when they do all turn on at once again. The Bond's effects are more subtle for her — she had not been terribly worried, but she has the gauge of his concern for her in a way she never has, and her own emotions rush to soothe it.] And I'm okay. I think so, anyway! I feel pretty good.
[Though inclined to fidget throughout this explanation of complications and side-effects, things that might go wrong, Aerith keeps her focus solely on the witch, knowing the importance of listening.
Because it feels so natural to do so, she almost doesn't realize that they're still holding hands until he speaks up again.]
Hm?
[Idly, she swings their arms back and forth.]
Not a problem! We still make a good team, don't we?
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[It's weird, this feeling. It's like warmth. Whenever his emotions raise too far, the warmth raises, and the feelings subside. It's her, isn't it? He just probably has to focus on not letting them get that far. If she's putting feeling into him, he's doing the same to her- right?
...Right. If the talk about complications, aftereffects, and side effects is anything to go by. So he takes a breath, listens, and pushes it down. Everything ends eventually, and ...eventually, the talk is over. He... honestly hadn't noticed that their hands are still linked, and as they make their way to the exit, and when Aerith swings her arm and when his follows it, he looks at it. Then her.
...Okay.]
Never know. Might still blow up.
[An...attempt at a joke. Maybe, hopefully, Aerith'll feel that. He squeezes her hand, lightly, as they go.]
You want to go somewhere, before we go back? I guess I could go for something to eat.
[Was it him or her that was hungry? This'd. Probably take a while to get used to.]
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She hasn't felt that way since arriving here, when she'd realized how severed her connection was.
That he does not pull away when she does something as childish as swing their arms back and forth is a pleasant surprise. The joke is moreso: she nudges him in the ribs to show her approval.]
We'll cross the blowing up bridge when we get to it.
[She returns his squeeze with one of her own. And as for the question, she wasn't that hungry (she wasn't sure. was she?), still:]
That sounds good. [But, because she's Aerith:] As long as you're paying!