middaeg | [Closed] Ain't No Grave Gonna Hold My Body Down...

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[Closed] Ain't No Grave Gonna Hold My Body Down...

Who: Edelgard, Hubert, Corrin, and possibly others later
When: Mid Feoveuer
Where: Edelgard's home
What: Edelgard's vampiric death
Warnings: Death, blood, potential mention of human experimentation, war and scarification.

Edelgard knew it was happening the moment the pains started. It was hardly unexpected, with how her changes had been progressing. This was simply the last thing, the final nail in her literal coffin, the actual death. It was early evening, she'd risen and bathed, dressed and eaten as per her normal routine. She was preparing to leave for a time, head out into the streets when the first stab of pain struck.

A great, wracking pulse of sheer agony ripped through her and she barked out a short cry that was quickly cut off as more pain tore through her. She staggered and dropped to the floor of her bedroom, clutching her chest and clawing at her shirt in a wordless scream ripped itself from her lips. Everything hurt, everything felt like it was on fire, and words failed her as panic set in.

She didn't want to die.

It was worse than all the nightmares she ever had. There was no creeping dread to her emotions now, no recognition of terror as some weakness that could be ignored, no melancholy. There was simply the sudden, desperate clawing for survival. War had failed to kill her, her many enemies had failed to kill her, a self-styled deity has failed to kill her, but random chance was a foe not even her tenacity and unyielding nature could overcome. Even knowing that she would rise again couldn't stop the blast of mind-numbing panic that shattered the calm composure of her thoughts. As her panic mounted, she thought of so many things, but everything flitted too quickly. Images of friends, of dreams, of a sun she'd never see again, but nothing made sense, it was all a jumble save for one thing.

It was selfish of her, maybe, but the only cogent thought she had as she writhed on the floor was a mental shriek to her Bonded.

Don't let me die alone...please...not alone...

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Edelgard's hand closed weakly around Corrin's, squeezing it softly, pulling her closer.

"I know. But I...have distressed you. I'm allowed to feel sorry for doing that."

Maybe she shouldn't be like this, but even as she is dying, she hates the idea of upsetting someone she cares about. And she feels worse, for poor Azura.

"I'll come through this. I'll be stronger and more myself. More...me...tomorrow night."

Corrin managed a small smile at Edelgard's attempted reassurance, scooting closer at the woman's gentle urgings. "I know you will." She agreed, hoping the uncertainty she felt about it wasn't obvious. Would she? Everyone said she would, that turning into a vampire didn't fail, you just...died and woke up. Just died.

But what if she didn't?

"I just...wish you didn't have to." She said with a quiet sigh.

"Hah...me either," she murmured, reaching up to pull Corrin down into a hug. Sensing the anxiety in her, she decided to continue this line of reassurance, though.

"It's ridiculous, but there's been no reported cases of vampires failing to resurrect. Hubert will have plenty of blood on hand for me. It should be as smooth as can be, tomorrow."

Corrin let out a startled little noise when she was tugged into a hug. Feeling El's arms around her helped immensely, but it didn't make her anxiety go away.

"I know," she said softly, and as the hug broke, instead of sitting back up she just turned so she could stretch out next to the emperor, pillowing her head on Edelgard's shoulder.

"I'm sure you'll be fine." She echoed. Well, as fine as someone could be as a vampire. "But it's still...I just..."

She trailed off, closing her eyes, and her arm curled over Edelgard's stomach to hug her softly.

"I just don't want you to die." She finally said, barely a whisper, her voice on the edge of tears.

"I don't want to either," Edelgard answered, putting a hand around Corrin, holding her close in an attempt at appearing relaxed.

She was quite bad at that, her fingers just a touch stiff, her words a little clipped, but she made a valiant effort of burying her face against Corrin's hair. Trying to avoid the feelings of real affection she felt for the woman, especially after their interlude, was difficult if not impossible when she was being like this. And any comfort that could come on one's deathbed was worth reaching out for.

"But, we play the hand we're dealt. There are even...benefits...even if it's painful, right now."

That was small comfort for Corrin. Destiny wasn't something she gave much sway to, the world was what they made of it. But Edelgard hadn't had a choice in any of this, which was...completely unfair. Unreasonable, even. She could feel anger starting to bubble up and forced it down with a swallow, closing her eyes.

She focused instead of the feeling of Edelgard's breath (more labored than usual) and the warmth of El's breath in her hair (cooler than she would have liked) and the familiar reassurance of her voice (more uncertain than normal.)

It just wasn't fair.

"I'm sure there will be," she agreed quietly. Did she believe it? She wanted to. But that wasn't the same as doing it. Not yet. Not until tomorrow. Not until she was sure.

"...You...probably do not understand," Edelgard said softly, curling closer, pulling herself in tighter. "I cannot die a second time, unless I am slain somehow."

Which she has to admit doesn't sound like much of a plus, but there was context she had yet to reveal to Corrin.

"Those things that were done to me...the source of my scars...strained my body. Having a second Crest shortens a human's lifespan dramatically. So...I was going to die before I turned thirty, no matter what. This eliminates that concern at least."

Corrin tensed up as Edelgard explained that, and there was a sudden pang of guilt for not realizing beforehand. In a sense then, turning into a vampire was saying Edelgard's life. But on the other, she still had to die.

"I guess..." She didn't seem to know what words to say. "There's an upside to everything." She finally finished. She didn't know if she believed it, but maybe it would help?

Instead of trying to say anything else, she just settled into letting Edelgard curl more into her, holding her tightly, her hand gently stroking the woman's shoulder.

"Yes."

Shifting a little, straining to eke out every last moment she can with a friend, Edelgard leaned into it all. What else could she do? The pain was not so bad, not as it had been, anyway.

"...So tomorrow night...I will rise. And I am certain that Hubert will want to be here. I do not know if it would be wise for you to be here as well. I don't want to risk...a loss of control."

Not in the slightest.

"I've...tasted you. I can still feel that even now, and I don't want to put you in any sort of danger until I'm absolutely sure my frenzy will be at an end. So, I am going to ask you to trust me, and let me contact you. You'll know when I come back, I'm sure, but let me be sure I won't hurt you before we get together, okay?"

It would be obvious how tense Corrin became at that idea, the arm stretched across Edelgard freezing up, fingers pressed tightly into the fabric of the other's sleeve. She wanted to argue, to say no, she wasn't leaving, she had no intention of not being there when Edelgard awoke...

But at the same time, she could understand that fear at losing control, that desperate need to be sure that it wouldn't happen. She could remember so vividly what she had done the first time she had lost control herself.

But that didn't make it any easier.

"...If you're sure." She finally said without opening her eyes, convinced that if she looked Edelgard in the face then she wouldn't be able to agree. "But...but you need to call me the second I can come here."

"I know, Corrin."

She didn't want to send her partner away, but she knows that it's more important that they all survive the coming trial.

Leaning back, she weakly nodded her assent, though her words were much less drained. Her voice, at least, was filled with strength and conviction.

"I will call you the second I feel it safe. I swear on the throne of my forefathers that I will not ask you to wait a moment more than is strictly necessary."

Corrin was silent for longer than she meant to be, her head still resting against Edelgard's shoulder even as the other woman relaxed back into her more prone position.

"Good." She was all she could manage to say. Despite what she had just promised, she didn't actually want to leave now. Resting against Edelgard, even in her current state, felt safe. And leaving meant...meant something terrible was going to happen.

Staying meant that too, but she wasn't exactly being rational, was she.

"Let me just...stay for a few more minutes. And then I'll go."

"You can stay as long as you like," Edelgard said slowly, evenly. She had no desire to be pulled away, to let go, even though Hubert may want her out of the way. His opinion doesn't matter nearly as much as her desire.

"Once...it's over, I expect Hubert will send you home. But you...I want you to stay until it is done."

She admittedly does also want a private moment with Azura, though. And she'll admit as much.

"Azura is nearly here though. I...would also like to speak with her privately too. Then, I want you to return. If, you don't mind letting us have the same moment?"

It was strange to think of Azura and Edelgard as being bonded. Not bad, just...odd. But she nodded, because they were, and she imagined Azura was feeling much the same way she had when the wave of fear and despair had hit her. After a pair of careful breaths she reluctantly pushed herself up, brushing her hair over her shoulders.

"Okay."

She squeezed Edelgard's hand one more time before standing. "I'll be downstairs."

And then she hurried out before she could stop herself.

The remainder of the evening passes as expected. It's a difficult time for all involved, but it passes.

The next moonrise comes, along with a message on the watch.

Corrin?

I am ready to see you. It's safe. I am myself.

I'll be over in a few minutes.

[Corrin had felt when El had come back, but had done as she was asked and stayed away, trying her best to focus on other things and getting basically nothing done. When the message arrived, it had taken all her energy to not just sprint over there. Instead she managed to just walk...]

[And indeed a few minutes later she was stepping through the wards with a gesture, entering the house much, much more slowly than she had the day before. There was a sense of nervous uncertainty, just because...what if El was different? What if something had happened?]

[Still. It didn't matter. She would still be Edelgard.]

El?

[She stopped after closing the door behind her.]

[She'll find Edelgard seated on the stairs leading to the upstairs. She rises immediately, spreading her hands in a gesture of greeting, her smile warm and welcoming...if somewhat toothier than before.]

Good evening, Corrin.

[She moves forward, holding both hands out, gloves on, hoping that her Bonded will take them.]

Thank you for coming. And...thank you for your patience.

Corrin's relief upon seeing Edelgard practically a physical thing, a knot in her chest that suddenly let itself unravel. Unfortunately, that knot had been holding back the absolute chaos that was the rest of her emotions, forced down deep to try and make it through what was happening.

Now that El was there, in front of her, it all came out in a wave, propelling her forward, moving between Edelgard's hands instead of taking them, so her own arms could curl around the shorter woman's waist. A second later she was pulled into a tight, almost desperate hug, as Corrin buried her face against the other's shoulder to hide her tears.

"Of course," was all she managed to say.

Edelgard buried her face in Corrin's hair, one hand sliding up her back the other planting itself firmly on her Bonded's hip. She staggered a little under the desperate assault, but kept her footing, laughing softly.

"Everything went as well as it could," she said, answering an unspoken question. "Hubert's preparations were more than enough. He's asleep now, thank goodness."

Rocking forward, Edelgard took a firmer hand on the hug, giving Corrin a gentle push towards the parlor without breaking it.

"I hope your day was not too fraught."

Corrin had figured Hubert had everything in hand, he was definitely the sort to do that. Plans within plans within plans, probably. Corrin never thought that far ahead, really. She should have? But she just didn't have the attention span for it. Yet in that moment she was almost angry with herself, because in the end, she couldn't actually do anything to help Edelgard in what might have been the scariest moment of her life.

She huffed softly against El's neck when she felt that push, since she didn't want to move, but let herself be urged backwards. After a step or so she reluctantly disentangled herself from Edelgard, though it was only a split second after the hug broke that she caught Edelgard's hand.

"It was..." What was a good word for it...

"Long."

"I'm sorry."

Edelgard felt truly awful. And in a way, she wanted to show her appreciation and some contrition for what had happened. So, she moved quickly, stooping to catch Corrin's knees and sweep her into a princess-carry.

"But," she continued as though she hadn't just done that, smiling as she marched into the next room, "I feel better than ever now."

Corrin didn't even have time to yelp before she'd been scooped up in Edelgard's arms, and she grabbed at El's shirt to steady herself, feet kicking at the air in surprise.

"Hey!" She tossed her a 'oh aren't you so clever' look, shifting her grip to put one arm around Edelgard's neck to steady herself.

"So I see." She agreed with a small laugh. At least the intensity of the moment had been broken.

"I'm stronger than I was, and I feel more...myself...than since I arrived. I've been tired, or in pain, or just generally feeling sickly for months."

She laughed, making her way carefully around furniture.

"Honestly, other than being a little cooler to the touch, I think that I've changed for the better."

The hand not hooked around Edelgard's neck came up to press lightly into her cheek as they walked, feeling at her temperature. Huh. She was a little cooler...honestly not as much as Corrin had even expected, but she wasn't going to argue with it.

"If you're sure, then I'm glad." Her voice was quiet, but she really did mean it. She had been so worried about Edelgard, to see she was...fine? Better than fine almost? Was a huge relief.

"Are you going to keep show off, though?" She asked as her more typically smile appeared on her lips. "Not that it isn't nice to be carried around like this, but I seem to remember last time ending up somewhere a bit better than your foyer."

If Edelgard was feeling good, then Corrin was allowed to tease...

She is allowed to tease, but she should expect the reaction to involve a lot of blushing. She splutters a bit, shaking her head, unable to hide the deep crimson blush blossoming on her cheeks. Looking down at Corrin, she nearly drops her onto the couch right then and there, just...because.

"Last time...we were addled by drink, and one of us was not freshly recovered from death."

Goddess, there's a spike of real embarrassment, of interest, and a few other things all mixed together blasting through the bond at that.

"As pleasant as that was...perhaps now is not the time."

[Closed] Ain't No Grave Gonna Hold My Body Down...

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