[closed]

[silentsavant]

Who: Soren and Eren. Seren. a serenade.
When: See date listed on threads.
Where: Training grounds; various.
What: A semi-permanent log for breath training and other interactions between these two.
Warnings: This log is on fire. (literally, since dragons. will update warnings as they arise. some nsfw?! oops!)

Comments

[usurpers]

[ only eren’s eyes move from where he lays, considering leaving it at that if it really was nothing to worry about. it hadn’t been his tongue that flicks to tell him, but perhaps an overwhelming sense that it was a lie to some degree. maybe it really did have little to do with him at all, but. maybe it did matter. at least it mattered to eren at the time when he had little reason to concern himself to begin with. so he lifts himself from the comfort of soil. for now, his palms finish the job, gliding off his arms stroke after stroke in what could only be described as— preening his scales. ]

You’ve never slept with anyone.

[ he doesn’t mean to sound or even be severe or, even critical. it is the thing he’s deducing is where this remotely comes from, and if it was, it did have something to do with him. in a way. he didn’t care much of what was thought of him and more what soren felt, even if it was by far difficult to fully express that like an open book. ]

[silentsavant]

[ he'd been trying to shut him out and retreat within — it doesn't matter, doesn't concern you — but eren's blunt remark cuts into him sharp, direct, and true. not at the pulse of what the matter was, the source of his frustrations and his melancholy... but it surprises him to hear him say. he lifts a part of himself back open to address it. his hands still in his hair. ]

You... could tell?

[ but then he feels silly for blurting that. such a thing was probably obvious in ways he lacked the experience to decipher. he lowers his eyes again in a demure fashion that clashes with his monstrous appearance. ]

... No, I haven't. But... that is hardly cause for the upset you have detected. That's much bigger than this. [ he shakes his head and releases his sheaf of hair, which spreads in a curtain for his face. ] The worst of it is my own embarrassment. It's nothing to concern yourself with. I'm not blaming you for my abrupt flare of... of sexual need. You satisfied it.

[ talking about it is more embarrassing than anything else. his face feels hot. ]

More than satisfied it. Are you satisfied with that response?

[usurpers]

[ eren rolls his shoulder at the first question. honestly, if it makes soren feel any better, it was nothing of visible notice that he’d seen with his eyes or noticed in act itself. no, he was still . . . dense and inattentive in that regard. it was chemical, but even then he wouldn’t know how to explain it beyond using the worst descriptor ever: “you smelled like it”.

but maybe that’d just make things worse. ]

Why embarrassed?

[ he avoids giving the answer asked of him, already an answer itself, perhaps. or maybe he already had earlier, with the dip of his head forward as he strained his hair into a bun. eren’s expression is rather difficult to read, pulling up a knee to his chest while his other leg fell with so little humiliation involved. ]

soren's a hot mess. oops. sorry, eren...

[silentsavant]

[ soren tilts his head to soak his dark mane in water, not even once drawing his eyes up at the other dragon. if he did, his casual shift in position might only serve to inflame his flustered state further than being asked why he's embarrassed, like he's supposed to know how to explain such a personal, unspoken "fact" that unbridled and unexpected sex with someone he barely knows is innately embarrassing. he cards his fingers through his locks to untangle the twigs and the leaves from the shiny black mass and huffs. ]

... Do I really need to spell it out for you? It's only natural to be embarrassed by my first time! I've never... I lost control, and... [ he squeezes. ] I don't think I would have ever succumbed to such ravenous lust out of nowhere if it weren't for the moons, for my beastly... My being a monster. I couldn't resist your scent; I came down from the heights of our, well... erm... N-No one has ever touched me like...

[ eren knows how he touched him. what was he trying to say again? soren releases his hair and lets his arms splash the water in mild exasperation as they fall into its cool embrace. he's perched over there watching him bathe and fumble with his words and make a fool of himself. he's the loser who got dominated and pushed into the earth and can't even control his breath yet, though they've been here the same number of days. why did he go out of his way to explain any further than the first two statements? why is he letting the weight of the unmentioned greater things crush him at such an inappropriate time?

he's so... vulnerable. all at once, no armor all chinks. not even his cold demeanor can protect the softness he guards inside him, for it has cracked and melted away for a tight lip and misty eyes. by the goddess, he's spiraling down into the vaster reaches of his despair from a place barely related, all the emotions he always corks threatening to just... spill...

a droplet pats the surface of the water. it's not raining. it's not runoff from his hair, either. he feels his smallness acutely, his powerlessness to reclaim for himself the life that was stolen from him and the profound loneliness that permeates his new existence. his shoulders shrink, a clawed hand resting on top of it. he decides now might be a good time to submerge his whole head before he loses control of yet another aspect of himself, gives eren any reason to doubt that he was, in fact, telling the truth. eren did nothing to hurt him in any meaningful way. ]

i'm so sad now

[usurpers]

[ his eyes' membrane slide, slide, and slide again in a growing blink that pieces words into something he could understand. the wyvern could pick up more in the shake of emotion in the other dragon's voice and rolling words that what they meant— eren's ear reacts to it like the sound of a pin dropping in silence. it's hard to tell, he was wet, a lot of him was— but before he could fixate his gaze harder on eyes pressing shut, soren disappears beneath a surface that harbors a sort of echoing stillness that eren could only distantly imagine.

his lips part, but he swallows a possibility of speaking in return. he hadn't hurt him directly but . . . eren still felt a tiny, growing pit in his stomach he didn't quite know how to handle; like holding a small, defenseless newborn when all you knew was blood, death, and causing it.

eren too, oddly, felt something he didn't like, just as much as he detested water and what had hardly reared its head into sex: loneliness, and it had perhaps, been that, that he's realized he's given to soren, all without quite meaning to. it's become so routine and an even successful outlet, that, emotion was virtually detached, only hanging by a single, solitary thread that could hardly do a thing on its own.

it hadn't been because it never happened to him after all. eren had always refused to look at it in such a light, is what happens, and now when he decides to turn his gaze and catch it at the corner of his eye . . . it's there. and he knows he'll never have something more than that.

the price of freedom, and all. he's still sitting where he is, regardless, and waits under the moonlit night and chirping wilde crickets to fill his head with a song less bitter. ]