[ CATCH-ALL ] I've never fallen from quite this high

[tryhard]

Who: Waver Velvet & friends
When: throughout February
Where: Aefenglom
What: hanging out, trauma recovery, cuddles, h/c
Warnings: nsfw in some threads



(( ooc: closed prompts below! PM this journal or PP me @ gunsandchocolate if you want to plot something and I'm happy to write you a starter! ))

Comments

[futhark]

[ Look, he will always default to other people's problems. It makes it easier to escape his own!!!! ]

He is a king— [ If there are people out there for whom that title matters, he is one of them ] —soooo.... I imagine it could be hard to just say, "don't Bond with him"

[ Double the guilt, because when Judar said there is no one to bond with him, one of the people Caster suggested was goddamn Iskandar. Ugh

Lack of foresight once again ] But how you feel about it, I think that oculd be shared, you know? Even if you think it's the Turnskin instincts messing with you— I think he'd understand that?

[ A shrug ]

Easy to say, I know. It still sucks.

[tryhard]

Of course he would. It's not that I don't think he'd respect what I feel...

[ Though Caster has a point about Iskandar being a king, and to Waver of all people, it does matter. Just not in the way of following without question. The problem is that the issues impacting how he feels about this step from entirely illogical sources for the most part, and he can't justify them to himself, even though it doesn't make it easier at all.

Waver sighs again, crossing his arms over the railing and hunching down to rest his cheek on them, face turned toward Caster. ]

You don't have to solve anything. I just wanted to... let it out, I guess... We'll figure it out.

I'm not going to let these stupid instincts override logical thought.

[ Now, more than ever. After what he'd been forced to become in that underground hall of nightmares, the idea that this is affecting him so badly because of what he is now is really frustrating, a little alarming. The added stress isn't helping his recovery, which is already straining under the lack of sleep and shadow of bad dreams. It's just bad timing, really.

But he has Iskandar. He had Diarmuid. He has friends, a home, a support network. He's lucky.

It feels unforgivable to even think about denying the same to Judar, who had also suffered and been terribly hurt.

Waver buries his face in his arms, rubbing it on his sleeve to warm the nip of cold air on his nose. ]

It will be an adjustment, but I wouldn't try to stop him.

[futhark]

Yeah, I get it. I think I get it. Not every change can be fought against, but getting... used to it takes time.

[ It might be too early to say anything. Or maybe it's not necessarily the right thing to say. Sometimes feelings are just feelings, grit your teeth let them pass. Either blow past you like a wind, or— forcibly let them out. Blow off some steam.

Cú shakes his head and starts rummaging at his belt. The big one, with all the alchemical ingredients left at home, but he's always stashing something. A pinch of this, a drop of that, into an almost empty bottle of alcohol. He joins Waver at the railing, as the new concoction in the bottle starts to emit a faint glow. ]

Know what— when I set it on fire and throw in the air. It's gonna be a blast, but with the spell, that's there... no one will hear you for a moment. You can yell out what's on your heart, throw it all out. [ —he's still drunk, yes. Alcohol and magic don't mesh well, some people say. But letting the emotions out isn't always allowed, or always possible. So why not create an opening? ]

To not let it fester and grow— [ —into resentment. That's what usually grows from seed like that. That's added in a much quieter and sober voice, and a flame appears on his hand with a snap of tattooed fingers. ]

[tryhard]

Really? That sounds so...

[ Ridiculous, yes. But also, very appealing. Waver huffs, pulling away to lean on the railing, staring out into the darkness beyond. His breath is a puff of white when he snorts, shaking his head. ]

Okay, fine! Do it. Make it real loud. So you can't hear either!

[ Even if that's not possible, Waver trusts him not to repeat any of this, at least implicitly; in reality, he's not thinking much about the future or talking this over with anyone sober. The liquor leaves only the now, and the feelings erupting inside him, barely waiting for the fire to ignite.

The bang is their very own firework. Waver leans hard over the railing, the wind whipping his hair around his face, taking the words from his mouth to carry them out to sea when he shouts. ]

I'm jealous! Okay?! I know it's stupid! I love him and I'm jealous and I'm scared to share! There! I said it!!

Stupid feelings, go away!