[L nods, finding a compromise between an arch and a slouch to dip his head back. He agitates his dark hair gingerly so that the warm bathwater can effectively relieve him of the soap and grease alike; care is needed because he still would prefer not to get his bandaged wrist wet, if possible.
It's a few centered moments to think about what Myr's said, and the implications beyond L's proper context. He knows the meaning of the word "tranquil," of course, a serene sort of peace associated often with meditation or a state of grace. But no... that's not what Myr means, is it? He was using it as a noun, not a verb, and there's some significance attached to it. Maybe even personal significance.
Over the Bond, Myr can likely sense his conflict and restlessness. Because L's successes in his world, even this one as a talented magic-user, imply that he very much has advantages. The kinds that others, like Mello, covet, but... those gleaming boons have been taxed at the expense of something else. Watari always knew, and framed it as a deficiency in others to protect his charge's ego and productivity, but even as a child, L hadn't been an idiot. He could read between the lines of every argument, impasse, and dismissal. He couldn't help but turn the self-critical knife back on himself and his perceived imperfections and shortcomings when things went wrong, because he had control over so many things that it could really be nothing but his own failure, in the end. And an insurmountable one, at that; disappointingly, not intriguing or mysterious, but as clear and plain as someone pushing themselves to their limits in a footrace and still coming in last.
He pulls and props himself up in the tub, smoothing his wet, clean hair away from a somber face.]
"Tranquil?" I don't...
[You think there's something wrong with me. But if there is, it's only deceptive to try to conceal it, especially since so many, less perceptive and intelligent than Myr, have figured it out. ]
My handler would say that we all had gifts... and that's what we should focus on in our lives. That it was rather a waste of energy and resources to worry about what we couldn't change, or could never excel at.
[Only the mundane concern themselves with mastering the mundane.]
He said that I'd only ever face rejection from humans... and that I could live a good life, considering, if I focused on my work alone and let him take care of everything else.
no subject
It's a few centered moments to think about what Myr's said, and the implications beyond L's proper context. He knows the meaning of the word "tranquil," of course, a serene sort of peace associated often with meditation or a state of grace. But no... that's not what Myr means, is it? He was using it as a noun, not a verb, and there's some significance attached to it. Maybe even personal significance.
Over the Bond, Myr can likely sense his conflict and restlessness. Because L's successes in his world, even this one as a talented magic-user, imply that he very much has advantages. The kinds that others, like Mello, covet, but... those gleaming boons have been taxed at the expense of something else. Watari always knew, and framed it as a deficiency in others to protect his charge's ego and productivity, but even as a child, L hadn't been an idiot. He could read between the lines of every argument, impasse, and dismissal. He couldn't help but turn the self-critical knife back on himself and his perceived imperfections and shortcomings when things went wrong, because he had control over so many things that it could really be nothing but his own failure, in the end. And an insurmountable one, at that; disappointingly, not intriguing or mysterious, but as clear and plain as someone pushing themselves to their limits in a footrace and still coming in last.
He pulls and props himself up in the tub, smoothing his wet, clean hair away from a somber face.]
"Tranquil?" I don't...
[You think there's something wrong with me. But if there is, it's only deceptive to try to conceal it, especially since so many, less perceptive and intelligent than Myr, have figured it out. ]
My handler would say that we all had gifts... and that's what we should focus on in our lives. That it was rather a waste of energy and resources to worry about what we couldn't change, or could never excel at.
[Only the mundane concern themselves with mastering the mundane.]
He said that I'd only ever face rejection from humans... and that I could live a good life, considering, if I focused on my work alone and let him take care of everything else.