[It did not snow in Hasmal and so until Aefenglom, Myr has never in his life experienced a blizzard in the waking world--and now, he'll never see one. He has not seen the sky grow curdled and clotted with black clouds, nor how the first swirling flakes that seem so beautiful in isolation grow thick in flurries that veil the world in white. Navigating without eyes, he will never know what it is to have light enough to see and still be hopelessly lost in terrain turned treacherous, uniform and fatal in the freezing cold.
But, he thinks, he knows something of it now when confronted with those glimpses of L's internal landscape. What does light matter without a way to resolve a direction to walk in; what does knowledge of one's own shortcomings avail without any hope they can be overcome?]
Oh, Maker. [A breath, a sigh of a prayer--oh, Maker, o Creating Glory, Master of the world seen and unseen, grant these your children strength and wisdom to navigate the wasteland the world has made of L's soul. Myr trails his hand up L's back to rest on his Bonded's shoulder and hold tight there.]
Linden, [L, brother of my heart,] you weren't wrong in wanting to help. You weren't wrong in trying, even if he and you both now think it would be better had you walked away. [Where Myr stands on that is...a more complicated thing. Certainly it would have been better if Niles' suffering hadn't been made worse; certainly it would be better if the sword of the chimera's retribution didn't hang over L.
But it would not have been better for L to have turned aside and permitted callousness to rule him once more. Acting on that inclination to save another soul in danger mattered even if it never guaranteed good results.]
And what he wants to do with you is not justice by any stretch of the word; your blood and suffering won't requite what happened and I will not stand aside for him to take them from you. I won't.
[Niles had said he wouldn't kill L.
He'd also left whether L would want to continue living in Myr's hands, and the thought of what horrors could live in that space makes the faun ill to consider them.
Leaving aside entirely the other behemoth in the room that L brings up. Ah, Mello--]
I want you to be whole, intimus. I want you to be the man you aspire to be at your best, the man you were Made to be. If that puts me in Mello's way, [I'll simply need to be up to that challenge,] then so be it.
[His voice grows softer, but no less intense:] There is a way for you to be that man, even if the path's not clear now. Even if it demands everything we have in us. I promised you I'd be at your side on it, for every step of it.
[Even if I'm still learning how best to be there. I'm sorry I didn't already know.]
No threat will turn me from that, so long as you'd have me.
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But, he thinks, he knows something of it now when confronted with those glimpses of L's internal landscape. What does light matter without a way to resolve a direction to walk in; what does knowledge of one's own shortcomings avail without any hope they can be overcome?]
Oh, Maker. [A breath, a sigh of a prayer--oh, Maker, o Creating Glory, Master of the world seen and unseen, grant these your children strength and wisdom to navigate the wasteland the world has made of L's soul. Myr trails his hand up L's back to rest on his Bonded's shoulder and hold tight there.]
Linden, [L, brother of my heart,] you weren't wrong in wanting to help. You weren't wrong in trying, even if he and you both now think it would be better had you walked away. [Where Myr stands on that is...a more complicated thing. Certainly it would have been better if Niles' suffering hadn't been made worse; certainly it would be better if the sword of the chimera's retribution didn't hang over L.
But it would not have been better for L to have turned aside and permitted callousness to rule him once more. Acting on that inclination to save another soul in danger mattered even if it never guaranteed good results.]
And what he wants to do with you is not justice by any stretch of the word; your blood and suffering won't requite what happened and I will not stand aside for him to take them from you. I won't.
[Niles had said he wouldn't kill L.
He'd also left whether L would want to continue living in Myr's hands, and the thought of what horrors could live in that space makes the faun ill to consider them.
Leaving aside entirely the other behemoth in the room that L brings up. Ah, Mello--]
I want you to be whole, intimus. I want you to be the man you aspire to be at your best, the man you were Made to be. If that puts me in Mello's way, [I'll simply need to be up to that challenge,] then so be it.
[His voice grows softer, but no less intense:] There is a way for you to be that man, even if the path's not clear now. Even if it demands everything we have in us. I promised you I'd be at your side on it, for every step of it.
[Even if I'm still learning how best to be there. I'm sorry I didn't already know.]
No threat will turn me from that, so long as you'd have me.