[open + closed]

[omnicrafter]

Who: Irhya, friends, and a few open prompts!
When: Deceuer
Where: Various places
What: Catch-all log
Warnings: Probable descriptions of blood, will update with anything else


[On Deceuer 4th, Irhya does not get out of bed like she normally would.

From a distance, it appears as if she chose to sleep in late this day, but that slumber continues on well into the evening and beyond. Upon inspection, her body is icy, and she does not appear to be breathing.

She remains this way until well into the small hours of the morning on the 5th.]

#1: Deceuer 5th: for Crystal Exarch

[There is a beating in her ears she is quite sure cannot be her own, given the circumstances. It feels like an ever-strengthening headache, but her mouth also tastes dry and raw with overdue thirst.

Thirst for what? She isn't stupid. She knows what's happening, but she hadn't expected it to be this overpowering. It's the middle of the godsdamned night, for that matter, and there's no one about to help her -- perhaps that's a good thing, however, as she can't be certain of her capacity not to just jump the next living person she sees. And she knows she's probably telecasting all kinds of distress signals through her Bonds, but that'll have to wait.

Why she came to their house, she isn't quite certain. Maybe just a dim internalized hope one of them will find her out here and decide to take pity on her. Irhya makes it as far as moving her feet heavily up the front stairs before she hesitates, wiping cold sweat from her brow. She sets a hand on the banister for support and stops, rethinking everything for the umpteenth time. Maybe she really is just better off preying on some stranger in the city; she hasn't the patience or energy to seduce them right now like she'd planned. But then... if anyone found out about it...

Fuck. She really is screwed, isn't she. But without a decision, and soon, it's only supposed to get worse until the need can't be contained by mortal will anymore.]

#2: Deceuer 5th: for housemates

[The door opens sometime into the early morning, revealing one very discontent miqo'te.

The clawing desire for blood has since been sated, one way or another, but now she's broadcasting upset of a different kind, the tears-into-her-pillow sort. She hasn't the energy to carry herself upstairs, so instead she travels the shorter distance into the kitchen, pulls out a chair, and buries her face in her arms over the table, cursing quietly into it.]

I cannot fucking believe this... What the bloody hells is wrong with me?

#3: Deceuer 7th-8th: for Thancred

[It's been a few days. Time has calmed her down, but the realization is still somewhat sore for her. She ought to take it slow, she realizes, but as ill-prepared as she'd been for the first one, perhaps it's better to get everything in order to prevent future... incidents.

Thancred had offered. Thancred had been willing to listen to her stupid idea, probably knowing full well it was a stupid idea but seemingly willing to consider it anyway. Perhaps if he were still amenable to it now that the reality is imminent...

The messaging function of the mirror is peculiar, but handy, especially when she isn't certain how he'll react. Irhya decides to put it to good use.]

Can we talk? Something came up.

That thing I mentioned was going to happen a while ago? It happened.

#4: Anytime in Deceuer: OPEN

[In an adjacent room to the soup kitchen, Irhya has set up her workshop. It's purposely placed so that anyone going inside has to pass by it to reach their destination, and perhaps grab their attention in the process. The sign outside the door says: Feeling creative? Help us repair and recycle old items!

Inside, there's a large table in the center, and a pile of broken or worn clothing and toys in the middle of it, surrounded by various repair tools: wrenches, screwdrivers, pliers, paints, sandpaper, sewing thread and needles, polish... the list goes on.

It's inevitable that people would donate junk thinking it was charity, but she's determined to quality check the existing stock, to see that at least some of it doesn't go to waste. Anyone is encouraged to stop by and help, or perhaps add more to the pile if they so desire.]

#5: Anytime in Deceuer: OPEN

[At other times, she's teaching the Dorchacht refugees a few basics in self-defense . While she specializes in using steel weaponry, swords in particular, they're too impractical for your average layman to carry around all the time, and so she has downsized to daggers and bare-handed techniques.

It's pretty basic stuff: how to get out of various types of grips; places on the body that are most effective to hit, with or without really hurting someone; how to conceal a knife, and various safety measures for having one on your person; even a few tips on how to deal with someone slinging spells at you from afar.

Eventually, she tries pairing people up to practice, but decides it might be better to have two experienced fighters demonstrate first when it appears the refugees are hesitant. If you look at all like you could hold your own in combat, she'll be calling you from afar and waving you over.]

Hey! I don't suppose you'd like to help me demonstrate some self-defense techniques, would you? On me, I mean. Or on you, whichever.

[She shrugs. Very convincing.]

Comments

[unsundered]

[It hadn't been a good start to the day for anyone. Had all of... this woken the Ascian up? Quite possibly, considering how tired he looks, and that he's up this early in the morning.

But with Irhya broadcasting like that, there was no chance of either falling back asleep, or ignoring it and doing something else, so Emet-Selch gives up and closes in on the source. Stepping heavily into the kitchen- or at least, onto the threshold of it, as he remains in the doorway, leaning onto it as he stares down at Irhya.

And once there, he's not entirely sure what to say. The emotion emanating from her was... unpleasant, worrying, but at the moment he mostly just wanted it to stop. Eventually he sighs, sounding more than a little disgruntled.]

That's what I'd like to know. You're being extremely disruptive, you realize.

[Such sympathy.]

1

[exarchal]

[It isn't magic or some kind of boundary spell that lets him know Irhya is here. While she's paralyzed with indecision on the banister, he has his staff in hand to help channel the subtle warming spell he's been placing on every opening into the house. He isn't an expert on enchantment yet so he finds it easiest to do it at night and outside, and that's where he's heading--

-- that is, until he opens the door and sees her.]

I-Irhya? Is aught amiss?

[She looks terrible, to be honest, and at this late hour only idiots like him are awake. The door slips shut as he moves to help support her with his free arm.]

3

[wordsinthesoul]

[He knew, at least a little, but- it wasn't something he'd been actively anticipating. He stares at the watch for a moment, processing, before he picks it up to type back a message.]

Of course we can talk. Would you like to continue talking this way, or would you prefer to meet?

[omnicrafter]

Yeah, thanks.

[Her fur bristles. When she picks her head up to shoot a venomous look at him, the tears along her face run red with blood.]

If you don't have anything better to be doing than making snide comments at my misery, then just leave me alone. It'll probably blow over. Eventually.

[There's a distinct pang of hurt that goes along the connection, almost like betrayal -- she'd gone out of her way to help him settle down after their fallout, and this is the return she gets when she's the one freaking out? A thankless job, indeed.]

[omnicrafter]

[Irhya doesn't answer right away, mostly because she's too distracted with listening to the slight elevation of his heartbeat in his surprise to see her. She could do it, she thinks. It'd be so easy. She uses his arm for support, grabs him by the shoulders and--

Freezes. The look on her face is one of sheer desperation, torn between two terrible options. Upon the realization she's a hair's breadth away from letting it happen, she drops her grip on him, covering her mouth with her hand as if it'll prevent her from using it recklessly.]

I...

[She sucks in a breath. Best not to deny it at this point... right?]

That thing I told you about... it happened. I have to feed-- but I can't just--!

[omnicrafter]

I've gotten through the initial set of problems, so I think I'm comfortable meeting. I guess I just need to get some things figured out.

...I won't bite you, I promise.

[unsundered]

[And that pang has him wince inwardly, though the look he gives her is still irritable, out of habit. The twinge of alarm feels at her tears, the blood is nearly as unwanted as the hurt coming from Irhya.]

...You're going to bleed on everything.

[Conjuring up a simple handkerchief, he steps over to hand it out to her. Comforting had never been his strongest suit. Oh, he could say something polite and appropriate if he was otherwise indifferent, but if it actually mattered? That was much harder.]

[inlikethebrume]

[When that particular emotion hits Mira, it feels as if someone smacked her with a sack of heavy ore. This isn't like the typical sadness or hurt she's felt in the past but fresh. When she realizes which bond it comes from, she's immediately off to look for Irhya and it's a small comfort to see her in the kitchen.]

Irhya? What has happened?!

[Worried? Oh you bet.]

[omnicrafter]

Wh--

[A brief touch of her face with her fingers has her finally notice the blood, causing her to startle. Now this, too?]

Oh, for Twelve's sake...!

[Gingerly, she accepts the cloth and wipes her hands and face, leaving faint red smears where her tears had tracked.]

Sorry. I'll get you a new one later. I just...

[Irhya plants an elbow on the table and weaves a hand thoroughly into her hair, leaning forward, hollow and heavy at the same time.]

Knowing it was coming didn't make it any easier to handle.

[omnicrafter]

Take a wild guess. You must have felt it, too.

[An inhale hisses through clenched teeth. She does not lift her head just yet.]

...I had to feed, Mira. I had to.

[inlikethebrume]

[There's no anger coming from the hyur, just concern for the other as she grabs a chair and sits down right next to her.]

You could have come to me. I would not have turned away a friend in need.

[unsundered]

Don't bother, I can create as many as I like.

[Waving it off, he eventually drags a chair over so he can sit down next to her. It was- pretty obvious what had finally happened to her, and the idea of her being (in a technical sense) dead was somewhat more unpleasant than expected.

And Irhya didn't look to be having much fun with it either.]

--Is it that terrible?

spoilers... if that was not implied

[exarchal]

[This close, she can see the hood slipping, his ruby eyes bright and wide in the dark. But he doesn't resist whatever it is she's about to do. Just as soon as he's grabbed, he's free, and she seems about ready to flee even though she's in no condition... To his credit he remains calm even though she could be a danger. He doesn't feel that she could be a danger; she's a Warrior of Light after all, and some version of himself had gone to extraordinary lengths to admire her, to cherish her. To save her.]

Irhya.

[He gently places his hand on her wrist, trying to be a calming presence in the midst of her panic.]

Denying your nature will only bring you more harm in the end. And there is no shame in being hungry-- you cannot help what you are.

[He's already shaking his head free of the hood. There is some trust involved, but he thinks she'll only take enough to be clear-headed. It was the same way with the last feral monster he encountered.]

If you cannot mind your teeth on my neck, you may feed from my wrist. It does not matter to me, so long as you survive.

[omnicrafter]

I know, but...

[She shouldn't have to. It's bad enough it has to be this way, but to hurt friends in order to get what she needs is not the way she wants her relationships to pan out.

Irhya turns her head to the side, and there are small streaks of blood where tears should be.]

Bad enough I ended up feeding off a friend in the end anyway. It almost would seem the better option to feed off strangers if it means keeping friends out of it... And that's not even counting the fact I'm dead now, and who knows if that'll ever be reversible.

[omnicrafter]

It... was painless. I went in my sleep. But... what if all of this isn't reversible? If I knew someday I could be delivered from it, I could live with it for as long as it took, but I surely wouldn't be able to go back like this.

[Now that's an unpleasant thought. To have the friends who knew her encountering her as a shell of her former self... she'd almost rather not go back in that case at all.

It's depressing. She knows, consciously, that there's forgiveness from all sides for her little predicament, that none of what she does for it is done out of anything other than necessity, and yet it's hard to bring herself to accept those open hands when she's too caught up in cursing her own fate.]

...The Exarch found me and let me feed from him before things got too out of control. I'm pretty sure once his housemates find out, they're gonna chew me out for it, if not worse. But I only took a little, so I'll have to feed again soon, I think... probably within the next few days.

[But at least people don't look like potential targets to her anymore.]

I guess I should thank you. For Bonding with me, and not rushing to break it after everything. If it hadn't been for you and Mira, I can't imagine how out of my mind I would've been.

[omnicrafter]

I-- That's not the issue! You can't just...

[Her jaw clenches. Some small catch inside her loosens a little.]

Why do you always have to be the first in line to sacrifice yourself? You must know as well as I do that your housemates would chew me out for feeding off you!

[But that begs the question of why she decided to make her way in this specific direction in the first place, too. Maybe it was just the subconscious hope one of them would find her and try to help, even if they couldn't offer themselves. But is it a greater sin to hurt someone with permission, or spare them the danger by hurting someone else on purpose?

She's still struggling with that one.]

But, Twelve help me... what else am I supposed to do...?

[unsundered]

[That was a point he hadn't considered, and the Ascian wasn't quite sure how to counter it. How and why people returned to their own world was a complete unknown; if they could bring something back with them, be it memories or physical state, did they have any choice in it? If they could, was it by accident, chance, or deliberation?

There was no way of knowing. However--]

Whatever you return as, undead or abomination- I sincerely doubt your allies would think any less of you. Would you scorn them, were they in your condition?

[They were too good for that, all of them.]

And since you haven't left your Exarch a drained husk, why should anyone here care what you've done? [Emet-Selch shrugs, giving a half-exasperated sigh.] Knowing him, he likely threw himself in your path as soon as he realized your predicament. Bared his veins before you could ask. Whatever happened is his own fault- and if the alternative is your- further- death, or falling upon a stranger, do you seriously think anyone would prefer that?

[Sitting back, he shakes his head. That much, at least, felt straightforward to him- but then, were he in her position, the Ascian doubted he would've had much hesitation in using whatever passersby was convenient.]

And, if you think it helped- well, at least this Bond has done something useful, for once. [A small pause, before he continues more decidedly.] But if you require more- sustenance- you don't have to look so far, you know. Unless you have something against an Ascian's blood.

[omnicrafter]

[It's curious, she thinks, that he is trying now to reason her worries away. Barely more than a week ago, he was weighing her down emotionally and physically with his own pain out of little more than spite, convinced she wanted to literally stab him in the back. Has he had time to chew on what she'd said to him? Accepted it fully enough that he would let her feed off him and not fear for his life?

Slowly, Irhya straightens up, loosening her posture. They're mostly irrational, imagined problems, and she isn't unaware of it. But even having someone to tell her the foolishness of blaming herself helps.]

Of course not, I-- just didn't want to wake you.

[That's a lie. It was her own uncertainty on how to approach him again, and she knows it.]

...It would be more practical to have my fill now than sit around and wait to burn out again, I'll admit. But are you sure you're all right with it?

[unsundered]

[It was true enough that he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea. A not inconsiderable part of him wanted to immediately renege on the offer. But he wasn't going to let that stop him.]

No, not entirely. [Frowning, he glances aside.] --But that's why I want you to try it anyway. Demonstrate to both of us that you won't kill me.

[Closing his eyes for a moment, Emet-Selch attempts to force back that unease, to let stubbornness win. It would be fine; mildly unpleasant, perhaps, but fine.

Turning back to Irhya finally, he regards her seriously.]

So go on, take your fill.

[wordsinthesoul]

Well, I can certainly lend an ear, and whatever help I can. Should I come over, or would you like to visit?

I didn't imagine you would. Not without asking, certainly.

[inlikethebrume]

And what if a friend wanted to help you out?

[She still does to be honest, that will never change. But when Mira sees the streaks of blood, the first thing she does is grab a small dish towel and gently dabs the wet off her face. She's not afraid to touch her, even after this.]

I will not force you but I do want to let you know that it is alright to come to me if you need to. It will take more to hurt me and I know you won't. You are still you, are you not?

[Please don't try to hurt yourself thinking it'll be good for you, Irhya. It sucks.]

[exarchal]

[He huffs a breath, for a moment sounding like his younger self.] I could ask you the very same question. You will not only hurt yourself if you deny your nature-- 'tis no mercy at all, and your control is frayed as it is... But the blood of a Witch will sate you and clear your head. I have seen it myself.

[He strokes her hand with a warm thumb.]

They will understand. You need not do everything alone, my friend.

[omnicrafter]

[The look she gives him is one of cautious recognition. Slowly, she stands up out of the chair.]

I think we should probably do this somewhere more comfortable, then. Come to my room.

[It's his attempt to meet her halfway, she knows it, and it makes her stomach drop with nerves (and hunger). He is not, never has been a malicious person, and it's clear he's trying; and besides, the more she practices with this, the better she can feel out how this is supposed to work. It's silly of her to feel like she's trying to win back his approval, but... is that not what it is?

Once they're upstairs and the door is closed, she assesses the situation, running her tongue over her teeth half-consciously.]

Lie down and relax. And if you have any healing spells to close up the wound, it would be good to have them ready for after.

[omnicrafter]

I can go to you. I don't think I know where you live yet, anyway, and that's important information for the future.

Just tell me where and I'll be there in a few minutes.

[omnicrafter]

[Her ears droop shamefully. Yeah, all right, maybe there wasn't really an excuse for that...]

...Sorry. I guess some habits still die hard.

[But eventually, she picks her head up and takes a calming breath.]

I should probably feed again soon, so I'm certain I never come close to that state again. When it's convenient for you... can I trouble you for your time?