[L is a fickle thing, strange and inconsistent and unpredictable at times. But once he's made and committed to a decision, he's unlikely to renege, to a fault even. Some indeterminate amount of time ago, he made the decision to Bond with Mello, either because he deemed it beneficial or because he recognized that Mello's determination and energy exceed his own, and that he would be unlikely to stop asking, and then demanding. This way, at least, it's on his own terms, and as much as Mello might think he is the moon and stars, and God in one human avatar, he is brittle and tired. He can't sustain that kind of chase with one of his own, not without someone getting destroyed in the process.
If there is a chance that things may go well, versus a virtual certainty that they will not, the choice is clear.
He sits still after setting his empty glass of Kahlua in front of him. He feels it, feels all he's had to drink this evening buzzing in his head and silencing the ache that still lingers from his injury, and watches Mello's weaving visage as it rises from its seat. He doesn't expect the kiss, but neither is he particularly surprised by it, in truth. He knows that Mello's devotion to him is practically religious in nature, and that Mello has already witnessed a Bonded pair, the affection that he may well expect as a result of establishing that kind of intimate mental and spiritual connection. He doesn't pull away, remains, rather, as still as the dead.
He nods afterward, brisk acceptance or resignation. They'll see how it goes, together, because even L can't aptly predict such a volatile and dangerous thing with any amount of accuracy.]
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If there is a chance that things may go well, versus a virtual certainty that they will not, the choice is clear.
He sits still after setting his empty glass of Kahlua in front of him. He feels it, feels all he's had to drink this evening buzzing in his head and silencing the ache that still lingers from his injury, and watches Mello's weaving visage as it rises from its seat. He doesn't expect the kiss, but neither is he particularly surprised by it, in truth. He knows that Mello's devotion to him is practically religious in nature, and that Mello has already witnessed a Bonded pair, the affection that he may well expect as a result of establishing that kind of intimate mental and spiritual connection. He doesn't pull away, remains, rather, as still as the dead.
He nods afterward, brisk acceptance or resignation. They'll see how it goes, together, because even L can't aptly predict such a volatile and dangerous thing with any amount of accuracy.]