[Hurt is an understatement. Mello died along with L and was born again; a phoenix emerged from flames with a drive that would put the will of gods to shame. The pain was too much to bear; L's defeat was his defeat. They lost, and he made it his mission to rectify this loss at any cost. If his expression becomes grim, it's only the reflection of a memory that he'd rather stash so deeply that nothing could dig it up. Not even L. He has to remind himself that it doesn't matter that L died — he's alive now — and Mello has become stronger for it.]
[Maybe it was necessary, maybe it wasn't.]
All I could think was —
[Will he out himself so easily?]
— that I would never see you again, and there was nothing I could do about it.
[Ultimately frustrating. Mello doesn't take on the role of being helpless easily.]
Killing him wouldn't revive you; I handed Near the title. [So.] Yeah, it hurt.
[And the floodgates have been opened.]
It felt like you'd willingly committed suicide.
[Because L had a literal pack of soldiers who would have assisted him, age be damned. But he's a prideful thing like Mello, isn't he? It was his case, and he thought the way he went about it was best. He didn't consider them — how could he? — and the lack of acknowledgement stings worse than anything else.]
We weren't important to you. [Accusations be damned.] We were backups in a system that was designed to operate the way it did, and you were hyperfocued on Kira the way I was after I had to take the reigns.
[That said — ]
I don't hold it against you. [More lies.] You had a job to do; I took on that job after he bested you.
[God, that bottle can't come quickly enough. What the hell is that bartender doing?]
I won't guilt you into it. If you say no, I'll take it as your answer. But.
[But.]
You owe me the chance to prove myself. You didn't consider me an asset, then.
[Insulting, really.]
I was a child. [He runs the tip of his tongue over his lips, considering his next words carefully. Or maybe he speaks on pure impulse.] I'm not a child anymore. I've done things that would put both you and Kira to shame, and I'm capable of so much more.
[He doesn't glance away when the bottle and glasses are placed on the bar near them; his eye-contact is severe and demanding. Before L sits nothing less than the leader of a criminal empire, one who kept their greatest enemy on his toes, and L needs to see and understand it. He's not fourteen fucking years old vying for his mentor's attention. He's a grown man now with abilities that should do nothing short of impress his predecessor.]
But I would always remain in your corner, and that's what you should consider.
no subject
[Maybe it was necessary, maybe it wasn't.]
All I could think was —
[Will he out himself so easily?]
— that I would never see you again, and there was nothing I could do about it.
[Ultimately frustrating. Mello doesn't take on the role of being helpless easily.]
Killing him wouldn't revive you; I handed Near the title. [So.] Yeah, it hurt.
[And the floodgates have been opened.]
It felt like you'd willingly committed suicide.
[Because L had a literal pack of soldiers who would have assisted him, age be damned. But he's a prideful thing like Mello, isn't he? It was his case, and he thought the way he went about it was best. He didn't consider them — how could he? — and the lack of acknowledgement stings worse than anything else.]
We weren't important to you. [Accusations be damned.] We were backups in a system that was designed to operate the way it did, and you were hyperfocued on Kira the way I was after I had to take the reigns.
[That said — ]
I don't hold it against you. [More lies.] You had a job to do; I took on that job after he bested you.
[God, that bottle can't come quickly enough. What the hell is that bartender doing?]
I won't guilt you into it. If you say no, I'll take it as your answer. But.
[But.]
You owe me the chance to prove myself. You didn't consider me an asset, then.
[Insulting, really.]
I was a child. [He runs the tip of his tongue over his lips, considering his next words carefully. Or maybe he speaks on pure impulse.] I'm not a child anymore. I've done things that would put both you and Kira to shame, and I'm capable of so much more.
[He doesn't glance away when the bottle and glasses are placed on the bar near them; his eye-contact is severe and demanding. Before L sits nothing less than the leader of a criminal empire, one who kept their greatest enemy on his toes, and L needs to see and understand it. He's not fourteen fucking years old vying for his mentor's attention. He's a grown man now with abilities that should do nothing short of impress his predecessor.]
But I would always remain in your corner, and that's what you should consider.