faithlikeaseed: (blind - sad smile)
Myrobalan Shivana ([personal profile] faithlikeaseed) wrote in [community profile] middaeg 2019-10-04 03:26 am (UTC)

For all it would have stood him in good stead in the Circles, Myr never really learned to guard his heart against affection; he falls in love with breathtaking speed and rarely falls out of it, though that first romantic flush often tempered to a more collegial regard over time. But after all that had transpired in Hasmal--after everyone he loved so keenly left him or grew strange to him--he'd steeled himself for a lifetime of those affections going unrequited by anything more than friendship.

A kind of myopia induced by the Circle, he's beginning to grasp now; they'd been all of his world but they weren't all the world that was. Whatever judgment they'd passed wasn't shared by all of Thedas, let alone everyone in the worlds beyond it; there were people out here who didn't know know any of who he had been and only looked at him for what he now was.

Only loved him for that.

He makes the smallest noise in the back of his throat as Everett kisses his temple, briefly overcome by the weight of his own realizations. It's freeing, and it's frightening, to know that there might be some hope for him here to grow beyond the wreckage he'd left of himself. To have the option of something like this--not only the option but the very real person of someone who cares... (How much worse it might hurt to lose it. But he'll get a chance to experience that, too, when their month is up.)

Hope, fear, pain swirl through their Bond and Myr's not entirely sure where he ends and Everett begins on the former two, but for now-- For now that's all right. He clears his throat, fumbling for words and not finding them. Not anything polished and witty, anyway. "Me too, dearheart. Wish that it were under better circumstances," as he'd said once already, "but me too."

He very much does not want to move from where they are right now, but the pain is getting worse. ...He's also reluctant to say that, because that would make Everett worry, and-- ...that's all...right out there in their Bond, isn't it....

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