i. start over

[ ah, the barracks. what fond memories of loud, unavoidable snoring and the smell of socks he has—far from the ideal living situation, of course, but it beats homelessness and... certain other unfavorable options. and while it's great that there's been an effort to clean it up, it's not enough.

not according to Levi, anyway.

no, he can tell the moment he steps into the building. dust. he can smell it like blood on the wind. unacceptable. with a sigh of heavy disappointment, he hooks a finger under the white scarf around his neck and pulls it up over his nose and mouth. ]

All right, everyone out.

[ leave this to a professional. ]

ii. zero tolerance policy

[ he's no stranger to bullying. while not frequently a target (despite being like two feet tall), he's had to resort to unsavory things like these in order to survive. it's amazing what you can get out of people when you've got a knife to their throat.

however, that was in the past, and these days he doesn't usually condone that kind of behavior. in fact, he won't tolerate it at all. perhaps you're the one being bullied in this scenario? that's rough, buddy. it'd be a shame if, rather than trying to reason with them, someone came up behind them and then punched them right in the goddamn face as soon as they turned around.

hot take: violence is a pretty good teacher. you're welcome. ]

iii. like craigslist but with wizards and shit

[ who wants a new roommate? not this guy. the benefits of living alone are practically endless: privacy, peace and quiet, being able to sweep fifteen times a day without anyone getting up your ass about it... a dream, truly. unfortunately, his refusal to volunteer this information just means someone else will fill in the blanks—something he doesn't realize until he hears his name called aloud. whether he likes it or not (spoilers: he doesn't like it), he's on the board now: ]

Name: Levi
Age: Suuuper old
Three words you'd use to describe yourself: Cheerful, upbeat, normal-sized
Favorite color: Fuchsia
Seeking: Platonic cuddle buddies, people who can reach the high shelves, you ;)
Not Seeking: Haters
Preferred living situation: The more the merrier!!!
Extra notes: Ask me about my serial-killer uncle

[ please don't. ]

iv. wildcard

[ do your worst! i'm @ clickboom ]