[Gon realizes the danger, somewhat—he knows how contagious the Cwyld can be. the breaking of his arm and the crushing of his hand was probably already a bit of a risk, but even Gon realizes the risk of this embrace.
he can't fight Killua off. he's not quick or strong enough to knock him out. Gon either dies violently by Killua's hand, an event that, were Killua saved after the fact, Killua wouldn't have a high chance of surviving. and even then, it's too easy to imagine, even sluggish and addled as Killua is—he'd tear down many more people before he was safely restrained and rescued. or, he'd be taken by the cult again.
but this is the same, isn't it? the Cwyld is a slow death, Gon thinks, and in that duration, Gon may defect similarly. either way, Killua still runs risk of being reabsorbed by his captors. but it's not as though Gon will die instantaneously, he reasons—maybe he can take the brunt of the risk of transmission to mollify Killua. the chances are as slim as they are dark. or maybe the infection doesn't spread so easily... maybe there's still a chance he can keep Killua lucid, take him away from the other people at risk of his current state, manipulated into violence. again.
Gon's always wanted to protect Killua from that. from being utilized this way. being weaponized. but he just isn't strong enough, anymore. and barely was he ever.
Gon, even with his mangled arm, returns Killua's embrace, tucking his face against the dirty crop of Killua's hair, holding him around his shoulders. in the end, it's true: he's really only just selfish. Gon's eyes sting and wet with tears, murmuring an apology against Killua's head.
—then Gon jumps with Geralt's intrusion, and he blinks his wide, disbelieving eyes. he knew there was a chance they might run into each other, having the same objective, but the timing is startling. he hopes it doesn't agitate Killua into a flipped switch. he's tempted to tighten his embrace to contain him, but thinks the result might be similar.
as Geralt crouches down, Gon's heart hammers in nervous terror.]
Careful, [Gon cautions him quietly, then looks back at Killua. carefully, as Gon leans back, he cups the side of Killua's cheek in a gentle palm.]
Hey, hey, Killua... let's go home, okay? Somewhere a little quieter for your head.
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he can't fight Killua off. he's not quick or strong enough to knock him out. Gon either dies violently by Killua's hand, an event that, were Killua saved after the fact, Killua wouldn't have a high chance of surviving. and even then, it's too easy to imagine, even sluggish and addled as Killua is—he'd tear down many more people before he was safely restrained and rescued. or, he'd be taken by the cult again.
but this is the same, isn't it? the Cwyld is a slow death, Gon thinks, and in that duration, Gon may defect similarly. either way, Killua still runs risk of being reabsorbed by his captors. but it's not as though Gon will die instantaneously, he reasons—maybe he can take the brunt of the risk of transmission to mollify Killua. the chances are as slim as they are dark. or maybe the infection doesn't spread so easily... maybe there's still a chance he can keep Killua lucid, take him away from the other people at risk of his current state, manipulated into violence. again.
Gon's always wanted to protect Killua from that. from being utilized this way. being weaponized. but he just isn't strong enough, anymore. and barely was he ever.
Gon, even with his mangled arm, returns Killua's embrace, tucking his face against the dirty crop of Killua's hair, holding him around his shoulders. in the end, it's true: he's really only just selfish. Gon's eyes sting and wet with tears, murmuring an apology against Killua's head.
—then Gon jumps with Geralt's intrusion, and he blinks his wide, disbelieving eyes. he knew there was a chance they might run into each other, having the same objective, but the timing is startling. he hopes it doesn't agitate Killua into a flipped switch. he's tempted to tighten his embrace to contain him, but thinks the result might be similar.
as Geralt crouches down, Gon's heart hammers in nervous terror.]
Careful, [Gon cautions him quietly, then looks back at Killua. carefully, as Gon leans back, he cups the side of Killua's cheek in a gentle palm.]
Hey, hey, Killua... let's go home, okay? Somewhere a little quieter for your head.