[closed] brother let me be your fortress

[chifeng_zun]

Who: Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang
When: Beginning of July
Where: The Coven
What: Brothers reunite and bond.
Warnings: None.


[The Looking-Glass House is in a bit of chaos when the new arrivals come through. Nie Mingjue guesses by now that it's the normal procedure of events, though he barely remembers his own arrival, having needed time to come down from the throes of qi deviation in the infirmary. Normally, he wouldn't care to show up with the other Mirrorbound, hopeful to see friends or family among the new batch, but after May... After May, he can't not, with his heart in his throat. Especially when he sees a few familiar faces in the crowd already.

He had accepted Huaisang's leaving, previously. It was for the best, he told himself. They got closure together, they got one last month to spend as brothers before Huaisang went back to his life, his duties, hopefully with a new resolve to live for himself. It doesn't mean he hasn't missed him, his gaze always lighting on the painting on his wall when he returns home, the little animated figures and the mountains of home. A most precious gift that reminds him of the time they had.

But there is always the possibility. He has seen Jiang Yanli, who remembered her last visit. There is a possibility. (Jin Guangyao is still here, and after May, Nie Mingjue cannot trust him around Huaisang, if he does happen to show, no matter how much Lan Xichen insists he keeps an eye on the snake.) And so, he waits near the doorway, taller than most and using his vantage point to scope out the faces. Baxia has been left at home, but he doesn't need her, if it comes down to a fight. He has retractable claws, now.

In the cacophony of scents and noises, he smells Huaisang first, smells the lingering traces of home, and spots him not long after, standing a little taller to motion for him. His voice is sharp, loud enough to be heard over the din of many voices,]

Huaisang! Here!

[Something inside him lurches for a different reason, a feeling that pushes everything else out, leaving only relief, joy. His brother. Nie Mingjue is suddenly glad he came; what would his didi have thought if his big brother hadn't been here to greet him? (He would have been fine, he's a grown man now, but still it's hard for Mingjue to break himself out of old patterns when he experienced nothing of those ten years during which Huaisang had to grow.)]

Comments

[headshaking]

[ it is so unbelievably loud, but admittedly, stepping through a mirror is a much more pleasant arrival than waking in a lake.

nie huaisang hears the cacophony of the hall of mirrors as he steps through, and everything comes back all at once. at home it had been like he'd never even left, sitting at his desk in the days after the final death of jin guangyao, but when his feet touch the ground, he remembers.

the little apartment. the crowded city. the magic coursing in his veins. jin guangyao, the snake, and -

his head snaps up, looking from left to right, still holding onto the frame of the mirror. huaisang is less out of his depth than he had any right to be, because he has been here before, and when he was last in this place, only one thing had really, truly mattered. ]

Da-ge? [ he says, not loud enough to be heard, clutching the edge of the mirror.

and then, just like that, the moment nie huaisang needed him, nie mingjue is there.

huaisang spots him over the crowd and his heart soars, even as five or six heads turn in surprise at mingjue's shout. the whole world narrows down to nothing, and he catches himself smiling before he even has the chance to stop it.

if this damned place has his brother, than this damned place is home. ] Da-ge! [ he says, picking up the bottom of his robes so he doesn't trip on them, and he's dashing, pushing through the crowd without any sort of propriety or thought to how he should be acting, for once. huaisang is slender compared to others, and he has to squeeze through gaps, but he bursts out of the crowd in front of his brother and looks up at him like he hung the stars in the sky.

it's real. this is real. that means the first time-- the first time was real, too. overwhelmed with the warmth and affection and joy he never could have felt back home, he looks up at his brothers face and then, with unfettered delight, gasps - ] Your ears!

[ because huaisang can't help himself, because there are a thousand things to be thrilled for and a thousand others to consider, but his brother stands before him again, and nothing else matters as much as that. ]

[chifeng_zun]

[That shout cuts through the rest of the noise until it's like the other new Mirrorbound don't exist. He doesn't care about anything else at the moment, not even the occasional familiar face, just because they aren't his family. Nie Mingjue doesn't shove through the crowd like he wants, even though he could push people aside easier, but it's chaotic enough, and he'd rather they retreat to one of the hallways anyway to- to have their reunion, and just that thought makes his eyes crinkle with warmth. The smile on his face isn't overt, more subtle compared to Huaisang's, but it's definitely there.

Huaisang has always been able to read him anyway, and Mingjue is learning to read his brother better in turn, with all this new knowledge of his capabilities. The happiness there is genuine.

He opens his mouth to say something, he isn't even sure what, when his brother notices his ears: they're certainly there, rounded and softly-furred, black on the backs with white eye-spots, and a tawnier color inside, closer to the orange that grows interspersed with black stripes down his sides and upper arms. The ears twitch.] They've, uh. Changed. [He says lamely, instead of some greeting, instead of saying that he's happy to see his brother, that he's happy to see his brother happy.

He clears his throat and drapes an arm around Huaisang's skinnier shoulders, drawing him away from the crowded mirror room to a side hallway where it's quieter, where Nie Mingjue can tune the rest out. Mingjue's voice is a little rough when he says, full of barely-contained feeling,] You came back.

[Words can never be sufficient to express what that means.]

[headshaking]

[ what a delightful thing to suddenly remember--that that was some alternate universe where his big brother lived. where he was healthy, unburdened by the fated destiny of the nies, free of the qi deviation brought on by the early meddlings of a snake. the more footsteps that he takes in the hall of mirrors, the more the memories come back to him, like ink washing over wet paper, coating the surface.

'they've uh, changed' is so awkwardly perfectly da-ge that huaisang catches his smile growing, the fondness and warmth so unbelievably ecstatic that it feels like a dream. he hasn't been happy since - since the last time he found himself here, in those first few moments when he hadn't yet realized that jin guangyao was here, too. he immediately falls into step with nie mingjue, like he always did, looking up at him like he if he looks away, he'll vanish. (he just might.) adoring. proud. warm. for a moment, the fact that he's vanished from home doesn't matter.

(frankly, he doesn't care. it's a poor thing for a sect leader to think, and a poorer one for the chief cultivator to think, but he really doesn't.)

he can't speak at first, either, having to bite the inside of his cheek. huaisang nods, and nods, feeling a lump in his throat that are going to mean real tears. real ones, the emotion an overwhelming mix of happiness and sadness and heartache and love so deep for his brother that spans across universes, across times, across the planes of life and death. ]

I remember. [ he says, sounding a little choked up, too, reaching forward to clutch his hand onto his big brother's robes. it's important - da-ge must be worried - and he's clever enough to try and assuage it. ] You're still here.

[ that's all that really matters, isn't it? his brother is here. his brother is safe. alive. monster features be damned, he's here. ] Da-ge, you're still here.

[ his lower lip wobbles. this time, he can't hold it back, and tears start to fall down his cheeks. ]

[chifeng_zun]

[It is sheer relief that he remembers, that he doesn't seem confused by this place. Nie Mingjue will never be able to find the words, even if he wanted to talk about it, for how much their conversations during that month had meant to him. How it was redemption and closure and a new beginning all at once, a gift he never thought he'd receive, and the fact that it must all still stand is an even bigger gift. A month hadn't been long enough, and a month between instances of seeing his brother was too long.

But Huaisang came through a mirror this time, a proper mirror. In that hall, Nie Mingjue will never know which one it is maybe, but it's there, to bind him to this world for a while longer.

He huffs out a laugh, an odd little sound that is halfway to a tiger's chuff, his new body betraying his joy without his say-so, and he lets Huaisang clutch at his robes.] I'm still here, didi. It's been a month since you- departed. [Without a word, and that had stung some part of him deep down, even knowing that he couldn't help it. The magic worked as it would.]

Did it hurt, when you left? The- temporary bond. [He had been concerned about that, because it had ached in his own chest for days, not that he'll admit it. It had been nice to have that bridge, to ease some of the bumps of their reunion.

He sighs despite his smile, taking out a handkerchief to wipe his brother's cheeks efficiently.] Come on, no reason to cry now. You're here properly. I am here properly. [We have time now.]

[headshaking]

[ almost immediately, huaisang tips his chin up into the fussing, letting his brother clean off his face. this is a familiar routine that's been his since childhood; he was always a crybaby, which was part of what made his headshaker act so utterly believable. huaisang had always had his big brother to care for him, when he was the soft second young master of the nie clan, and then when he was gone, it had rocked his entire world. the nostalgia of the moment makes him feel so unbelievably cemented. so unbelievably safe.

he sniffles, taking in the information offered--a month, it had barely been days at home--and shakes his head. ] I didn't remember anything... if it hurt, it must have been stopped somehow.

[ by the magical barrier that allowed nie mingjue to live, probably. huaisang wouldn't be surprised. if he focused on it, he could sense that same magical energy, pick up on it in a way that he never was able to pick up on his golden core.

ah... but, if it didn't hurt him, then... huaisang looks up at him properly, eyes watering still, a small, watery smile on his face. ] I'm sorry that it was hurtful to you, da-ge. I didn't want to leave... I really, really wanted to stay...

[ okay we're bordering on pathetic now. ]

[chifeng_zun]

[It's a strange comfort for Mingjue as well, to fall into old patterns, old motions that his muscles know by heart and require no conscious thought. Taking care of his brother is second nature, and that might turn out to be an issue later down the road, considering Huaisang is- fuck, probably around Mingjue's current age, with the funny way time has worked to place them here, but for now, he doesn't care. They need that familiarity to settle.

He exhales a huff of relief at his brother's answer, tucking the handkerchief into Huaisang's sleeve in case he needs it again, and patting his shoulder.] Good. [He says, and means it, glad that that worry, at least, was for naught. Sure, it had ached in him, but what pain couldn't he bear?] I'm fine. Don't worry about that. I just missed you.

You're here now, and you remember. With a proper mirror, you should be able to stay. [Maybe not forever, but for longer, and that's all he cares about.] Honestly, still such a crybaby, Huaisang. [He grouses, but he can't quite hide his smile, or the undercurrent of fondness in his voice, the utter lack of reprimand. He tugs him into a fierce little half-hug regardless, in the relative privacy of the side hallway.

A little sofer,] I found the painting you left. Thank you.

now that i am finally truly free of murder hell

[headshaking]

[ nie mingjue can call him a crybaby all he wants. he's heard far worse, from far crueler people, and even hearing his brother's voice -- even being scolded by his brother -- and knowing all of it is real makes everything go away.

he takes the handkerchief as it's given, tucking it away carefully among the folds of his ruffled inner sleeve, and gives mingjue a wet smile of his own as he's pulled in for a hug. ]

I'll make more. And... and pick up on studying, again, too. [ sniffle. ] Did anything happen...?

[ and by "anything" it's probably obvious what - or who - he means. ]

no worries!

[chifeng_zun]

I'm sure you will. [He says with a fondly exasperated smile.] I kept all your things. [Everything he bought Huaisang that month is still there, tucked neatly away, waiting to be brought out again by their rightful owner.] We will have to pack up and move to a more appropriately sized place as soon as you feel up to it. I already found a small residence near the Shopping District, three bedrooms and a rooftop garden. It is outside of the Haven, so farther from where the snake lives. [He had started looking that month, not long after Jin Guangyao came sniffing around the apartment building for him, but when Huaisang disappeared, he put moving on hold. Those plans are ready to be picked back up now, though.

Then he asks if anything happened, and Mingjue sighs, patting his shoulder as if to reassure him ahead of time that everything is fine.] Just don't jostle my other side. The stitches haven't come out yet. Jin Guangyao caused some trouble on a diplomatic mission to another city, and I had to step in to de-escalate it. [Gruffly,] One of the locals got me with a spear, but it's fine.

[It had seemed like the right thing to do, even if it rankles still.]