If he cannot earn the right to the Lan sect's honor on his own, then what good does it do him to wear the markings of one? Being naturally born into the clan made certain things stand without question and now Xichen is finally daring to question them. But not reject them. If he can find the comfortable place within himself, then maybe he can be accepted back and be the better for it.

As a cultivator, isn't he supposed to push beyond the boundaries of what fate has ordained? Perhaps being brought down from the blessings of his position is better for him in the end. He wants to believe that it will lead him to more understanding.

The hand on his arm softens Xichen's gaze and he straightens, shifting to stand almost protectively next to Jin Guangyao instead of playing the shy servant.

"I found some fish that look very nice. I hope you'll enjoy them." Along with what he thinks are vegetables more simply prepared, since eating rich food is still a bit hard for him.