It's part of why I don't like to bring it up. It's... complicated.

[ She glances at him again, lips pursed. They both know the answer to this, she feels. She's already given it away. ]

I failed. My people turned against me and the country descended into civil war... although not after many bright years. [ She doesn't want to make excuses, but it wasn't all bad. ]

It remains one of my deepest and bitterest regrets. [ She tries not to sound as if she's bitter, but the truth is she's still not really over it. She's just learned to cope better. ]