[ So that's it then. Both himself and Yanli, gone from their son's life. He speaks as though he has no memory of them at all. So... Whatever it is, it must happen soon. While A-Ling is still too young to form memories or lasting bonds. From Zixuan's perspective, his son was just one month old. How much longer does he have, then? Will that change, now that he is here? Can you change the future by altering the past?
He pushes all of those thoughts and the looming existential crisis out of his mind. His son is crying, and he needs to be a strong father right now. Even if it breaks his heart to think of leaving his son, of losing Yanli, their family...
No. Pull yourself together, Zixuan. This is what you need to do, here and now. Don't think of what is yet to come. ]
You... You have one now. I'm sorry I left you. But I'm here now. I won't leave you again.
[ Is he doing this right? He's so far out of anything familiar he can't be sure what are the right steps to take... ]
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He pushes all of those thoughts and the looming existential crisis out of his mind. His son is crying, and he needs to be a strong father right now. Even if it breaks his heart to think of leaving his son, of losing Yanli, their family...
No. Pull yourself together, Zixuan. This is what you need to do, here and now. Don't think of what is yet to come. ]
You... You have one now. I'm sorry I left you. But I'm here now. I won't leave you again.
[ Is he doing this right? He's so far out of anything familiar he can't be sure what are the right steps to take... ]