[ When Cloud hoists him up onto his back, Kadaj just... lets him. Surprisingly. Even to him! There's that part of him that means to reach back for his blade and swing it around to slam into the center of the blond's chest with laughter bubbling from his lips and murder in his eyes. Oh it's there! Screaming and clawing at him from the inside. But he's just... too tired to. Too confused. Too lost. Too... he doesn't even know. That's the problem! He doesn't like this but... better it be Cloud than someone else, right?
So arms drape loosely over the blond's shoulders and his chin rests against the crook of Cloud's neck, eyes falling shut as he hums and listens to the words that slip in and out of his mind. Big brother is being... kind to him? In his own way. It's strange. Not right at all. How many times has he denied him? Has he walked away from him? Has he refused to accept that they're family? Now he means to take care of him with taking him to the Coven? No wonder he's the black sheep of the family. ]
Like you. [ He muses softly. ] No longer a puppet. But you were. Once upon a time...
[ Lips curl into a smile of amusement at the thought but he still feels tired. ]
Brother... what does it feel like to love someone? [ A seemingly random question and yet, with the way he asks it, so soft and unsure, it feels genuine rather than a means to play with the mind. ] My purpose is to please Mother, to be... His vessel. So He can come back.
[ He doesn't need to clarify the He, he's sure Cloud knows who He is. ]
I'm the very parts of Him that He hates... no. I am His hatred. For you. For everyone. But I... I want Mother to love me, too. Like those two loved each other that I tried to kill. I only wanted to because they were in my way. I didn't even know them. But they loved each other, brother. It made me sad to see. Because I don't understand. I don't understand what that's like. I'm not supposed to.
[ A tilt of his head, strands of silver fall in front of his face. ]
So isn't it better I just not be here then? I'm not you, brother. I have a purpose.
cw for violent imagery ig
So arms drape loosely over the blond's shoulders and his chin rests against the crook of Cloud's neck, eyes falling shut as he hums and listens to the words that slip in and out of his mind. Big brother is being... kind to him? In his own way. It's strange. Not right at all. How many times has he denied him? Has he walked away from him? Has he refused to accept that they're family? Now he means to take care of him with taking him to the Coven? No wonder he's the black sheep of the family. ]
Like you. [ He muses softly. ] No longer a puppet. But you were. Once upon a time...
[ Lips curl into a smile of amusement at the thought but he still feels tired. ]
Brother... what does it feel like to love someone? [ A seemingly random question and yet, with the way he asks it, so soft and unsure, it feels genuine rather than a means to play with the mind. ] My purpose is to please Mother, to be... His vessel. So He can come back.
[ He doesn't need to clarify the He, he's sure Cloud knows who He is. ]
I'm the very parts of Him that He hates... no. I am His hatred. For you. For everyone. But I... I want Mother to love me, too. Like those two loved each other that I tried to kill. I only wanted to because they were in my way. I didn't even know them. But they loved each other, brother. It made me sad to see. Because I don't understand. I don't understand what that's like. I'm not supposed to.
[ A tilt of his head, strands of silver fall in front of his face. ]
So isn't it better I just not be here then? I'm not you, brother. I have a purpose.