It hurts in a way he never thought emotions could hurt. Jin Guangyao's anger and disappointment in him are actually palpable, even more than the musical techniques of Gusu that could cause physical harm with only songs. And still he's stunned that how familiar this all feels. A panicking part of him remembers the same feeling of helpless confusion before having his acupoints sealed, and that bitter voice that sounded so despondent one minute and furious the next. And Nie Mingjue, who was twice as furious and knew the whole time this would happen.
Still grappling for control of his blade, Lan Xichen suddenly feels something else that he is not as familiar with. A hot, stinging feeling that makes him tighten his grip on the hilt and grab Jin Guangyao's wrist with his off hand (it's nice to have two) as he stares into his friend's eyes with that bitter anger reflecting back.
"Release me, Jin Guangyao."
That is a command, but one still tinged in pain and desperation.
"You promised me that you would not let me live in confusion any longer. Will you not spare me even time to doubt? How many times must I be cursed by those I love most? You killed me as much as you killed him back then and then you left me. I cannot promise you the heart you wounded and left does not bear scars now. It's impossible. But can you tell me your hatred doesn't still exist?"
Even if Jin Guangyao could say that without a note of dishonesty, Nie Mingjue's all too loud honesty was a telling sign that resentment still lived between them. The sort of poison that had killed the man was too obvious to hide.
"I am still here. Give me some mercy, please. I believe-" He wasn't going to cry. He had actually resisted tears up to this point, not willing to show that face when he was trying to make a point, but at these words, Lan Xichen can't hold back any longer. "I believe that you are still the kind A-Yao whom I once knew."
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Still grappling for control of his blade, Lan Xichen suddenly feels something else that he is not as familiar with. A hot, stinging feeling that makes him tighten his grip on the hilt and grab Jin Guangyao's wrist with his off hand (it's nice to have two) as he stares into his friend's eyes with that bitter anger reflecting back.
"Release me, Jin Guangyao."
That is a command, but one still tinged in pain and desperation.
"You promised me that you would not let me live in confusion any longer. Will you not spare me even time to doubt? How many times must I be cursed by those I love most? You killed me as much as you killed him back then and then you left me. I cannot promise you the heart you wounded and left does not bear scars now. It's impossible. But can you tell me your hatred doesn't still exist?"
Even if Jin Guangyao could say that without a note of dishonesty, Nie Mingjue's all too loud honesty was a telling sign that resentment still lived between them. The sort of poison that had killed the man was too obvious to hide.
"I am still here. Give me some mercy, please. I believe-" He wasn't going to cry. He had actually resisted tears up to this point, not willing to show that face when he was trying to make a point, but at these words, Lan Xichen can't hold back any longer. "I believe that you are still the kind A-Yao whom I once knew."