At least Jin Guangyao doesn't run out of the run or demand an end to the whole thing immediately, which for a moment Lan Xichen fears is possible. He didn't mean to deceive his friend (and the irony is sadly lost on him in worrying about that), but his conflicting priorities and mindset of shutting down complicated emotions so that they didn't cause chaos within him had not made it easy for him to decide what exactly he had been feeling until it was right in front of him. Words spoken not in some formal oath but from his impulses and hearing the responses coming genuinely from Jin Guangyao without rehearsal helped untangle a lot of the suppressed feelings he really had not wanted to examine. After all, if he kept them locked back, they could do no harm.
Except now he has no choice but to acknowledge them. And having the hand close tightly around his, despite the seemingly calm reply is proof that he needs to do more than hide away with his own regrets. Lan Xichen looks at their hands locked together in a mutual grip and takes a breath to make himself relax the way Jin Guangyao seems to be. The cold, coiling tension coming through the forming bond says otherwise, and Lan Xichen tries to balance it with control and patience if not ease.
"I don't intend on asking anything of you. I told you I would share this bond to help you keep a clear mind, and I will do that. But..."
This definitely should have been thought of more, but it's too late now and he's already committed.
"A-Yao, we don't agree about many things. I believe we will probably disagree more in the future, as well. Because of my blindness as much as your pain. Even with that, I want you to keep me by your side. It is true that I believe you might still betray me if the danger is great enough, but I meant what I said just now as well and I will not hold that against you."
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Except now he has no choice but to acknowledge them. And having the hand close tightly around his, despite the seemingly calm reply is proof that he needs to do more than hide away with his own regrets. Lan Xichen looks at their hands locked together in a mutual grip and takes a breath to make himself relax the way Jin Guangyao seems to be. The cold, coiling tension coming through the forming bond says otherwise, and Lan Xichen tries to balance it with control and patience if not ease.
"I don't intend on asking anything of you. I told you I would share this bond to help you keep a clear mind, and I will do that. But..."
This definitely should have been thought of more, but it's too late now and he's already committed.
"A-Yao, we don't agree about many things. I believe we will probably disagree more in the future, as well. Because of my blindness as much as your pain. Even with that, I want you to keep me by your side. It is true that I believe you might still betray me if the danger is great enough, but I meant what I said just now as well and I will not hold that against you."