It might have been easier if all Lan Xichen wanted was to spare everyone else some trouble. That is generally what he wants for everyone just because he has always wanted to ease the troubles of those around him, but if that were all he ever wanted, then he wouldn't need to worry about a Bond with either sworn brother. He could have negotiated his terms early on or simply given a formal warning and left things alone, but the truly terrifying thing for him is that he does want, and only Wangji really understands how hard it is for him to let that want die, even when everything else in the world is telling him to.
Death is no obstacle to a cultivator, especially not a Lan who was brought up to embrace the role of a graceful life leading to inevitable end. There is not actually too much that Lan Xichen fears in the world, but all the morning's meditation is still not stopping the shiver he feels as Jin Guangyao gives his response. He will try, Lan Xichen believes that, but he knows how much his friend pleaded with him before about not having a choice. Part of him knows that perhaps there is something like fate in Jin Guangyao's nature and that he might not really be able to fight off the urges for violence. And the chill that settles on him is when Lan Xichen knows for certain at that moment that it doesn't matter. All of the accusations and doubts thrown at him he's mostly shrugged off as his sworn duty up until those two words, but in that moment, just before the magic really starts to take hold, he realizes that isn't true and that maybe this is a bad idea, because he might have been misleading Jin Guangyao as much as himself.
So the first strong emotion that comes through the forming Bond is Lan Xichen's instant, panicking epiphany that he has many unsettled thing still in his heart that were not properly cleared in that morning of solitude, followed by his rush to tamp them down. Desperate yearning, loneliness, conflict, shame, and then beneath it a steady, quiet affection that flows out beneath them without any uncertainty at all. He meets his friend's eyes with worry clearly in his gaze.
"Please listen before you do anything."
Please don't cut it off two seconds after the connection even formed.
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Death is no obstacle to a cultivator, especially not a Lan who was brought up to embrace the role of a graceful life leading to inevitable end. There is not actually too much that Lan Xichen fears in the world, but all the morning's meditation is still not stopping the shiver he feels as Jin Guangyao gives his response. He will try, Lan Xichen believes that, but he knows how much his friend pleaded with him before about not having a choice. Part of him knows that perhaps there is something like fate in Jin Guangyao's nature and that he might not really be able to fight off the urges for violence. And the chill that settles on him is when Lan Xichen knows for certain at that moment that it doesn't matter. All of the accusations and doubts thrown at him he's mostly shrugged off as his sworn duty up until those two words, but in that moment, just before the magic really starts to take hold, he realizes that isn't true and that maybe this is a bad idea, because he might have been misleading Jin Guangyao as much as himself.
So the first strong emotion that comes through the forming Bond is Lan Xichen's instant, panicking epiphany that he has many unsettled thing still in his heart that were not properly cleared in that morning of solitude, followed by his rush to tamp them down. Desperate yearning, loneliness, conflict, shame, and then beneath it a steady, quiet affection that flows out beneath them without any uncertainty at all. He meets his friend's eyes with worry clearly in his gaze.
"Please listen before you do anything."
Please don't cut it off two seconds after the connection even formed.