middaeg | April Showers Brings Naps [Open Catchall Log]

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ffxiv: mira chambers

April Showers Brings Naps [Open Catchall Log]

Who: Mira and OPEN
When: Throughout April
Where: Aefenglom, outside the city
What: Catchall log, quests for the month, Dream a Little Dream event
Warnings: Bar brawl, violence, Dark Knight 50 and 70 spoilers, some Shadowbringers Spoilers

Rule--Be Nice: The Sly Seadog

[A simple job and one Mira is a bit used to. An extent of it at least; the Slydog asked for extra bouncers around due to more sailors coming around and Mira having done her share of escorts and guarding could handle a few drunkards if they get too roudy. Some regulars knew her as the woman who threw a man out the door in the literal sense for annoying her while reading so imagine when she comes in on her shift after working at the potion shop with Shadowbringer on her back and all is well.

For a time.

From the corner of her eye, Mira catches two sailors, clearly four sheets to the wind and starting raising their voices at each other. Oh boy, this does not sound good.]

Daft sods.

[She rolls her eyes and stroll right over, tapping one of them on the shoulder.]

Ease up on the shouting, don't wanna do poorly on the owner's hospitality.

[That just earns a laugh out of him and his comrade. Just be nice, Mira.]

Oi oi, lookat this sweet lil thing thinking she can speak up!

I'm sorry but there are others patrons here wishing to enjoy their drinks in peace. 'Twould be disrespectful to shatter it.

[Spoken calmly but firm, which only gets the patron laughing more.]

Listen, sweetheart. Why don't you go trot your nice arse to the keep and bring us another round. I'll be sure to give you a great tip if you decide to come after I leave.

[Mira's about to retort until she feels a hard slap to her rear, both men laughing at her reaction. Apparently these two are so wasted that they forgot that she has a sword strapped to her back. Someone...should probably step in since her hand is going straight for the blade. Fuck being nice..]

Too Many Books: Streets of Aefenglom

[When she's not working, one of Mira's hobbies is reading anything she can get her hands on. While stories and fairytales are her favorites, she's not focused on that right now. Nor is she focused on her magical studies. Tucked under each arm are bags with several books from the library that she could carry and all each have a theme to them: sleep.

But she's not looking to try and sleep herself, she's looking for any mentions of any kind of sickness where sleep is a key factor. Sounds weird, doesn't it. She doesn't even realize that in her distracted mind, she almost runs into someone and manages to twirl away just to not hit them.]

Oh dammit, my apologies! You alright?

Storytime: Outside the City

Bloody hells, are any of these tales even good?

[The last time Mira was out here, she had to carry the Crystal Exarch back to the city because his dumb butt wasn't feeling so good. But now she's alone in this endeavor and she had an idea to try and work on something she brought up: finding some kind of purpose outside of her duties as a Warrior of Light. Mira's thought maybe trying her hand at something she enjoyed might point her in a proper direction. That is until she saw the books around for the storytime and reacted in the most calm and rational manner: making a strongly opposed face.]

Ok, I understand they might be children but honestly, they are much more intelligent than this. And I can't tell them all my adventuring stories!

[Shit, what is she going to do?]

Dream A Little Dream

[It pulls you in, a tug as you look through the mirrors within the house. And yet one in particular shows itself to be a bit decorative in its etchings. On each side of the mirror, three symbols will be carved in: a handgun on the left, a peculiar symbol on the right, and a sword from the top.

As for the bottom, a message woven, perhaps unknown to those who haven't walked the path.

"In your darkest hour, in the blackest night..."

Words that may mean something to the owner of this mirror. But as you peek in, the urge gets stronger and stronger until you find yourself sucked in and watching something come out. Question is...which memory of the woman are you seeing?]

((OOC: Dream Prompts will be listed in the comments below.))

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Rose is at the Sly Seadog for...exactly the reasons that anyone would expect she would be. But still, it's nice to see her friend. That is, until someone gets handsy.]

[Rose has known Mira long enough to know how this will end. But still, she feels like she has to intervene. She floats up to the men, crosses her arms, and frowns.]

[A four foot cat fairy is not very intimidating, no.]

And just what do you think you're doing?

[The two drunks look at Rose and proceed to laugh madly, gone into their cups.]

Hey hey, I see a cat with wings! Do you think if I rub her ears, she'll purr?

[Mira lets out a low whistle, knowing full well that miqo'te have a...thing when it comes to people calling them cats. She doesn't know how Rose would react to that but she has maybe an idea as her hand stays on her sword.]

Someone done shot himself in the arse. Show them out together?

[If there is one thing that Rose hates being called, it's a cat. She doesn't like being called a fairy, but at least it's an accurate description. A cat? Never.]

[Anger burns in her eyes, and it takes everything in her not to throttle the men immediately. Admittedly, even if she used all her strength, she probably wouldn't get very far.]

[But there are other things she can do.]

It would be my pleasure.

[Yep, Rose is pissed and the men don't seem to care as they laugh it up except when they address Mira, still looking ready to use her weapon on them.]

Didn't I say to get your cute lil arse to get us some more drinks? Might you need some encouragement-

[He doesn't get very far when he raises his hand, Mira grabbing his wrist and twisting it, making him howl.]

You're lucky I'm not resorting to my sword. I don't wanna ruin the nice property the owner has here but do that again and I will be sure to find a way to throw you out in the literal sense. And I will do it.

[She grins at Rose. Do whatever you want cat fae.]

I think they've had enough. Let's escort them out, shall we?

[When you find yourself focusing, the area around you is in utter chaos. There's an energy around you that you can't quite describe but you do notice something: that where you're at has a thematic element.

Perhaps you are surrounded by fire, the earth flat and a ring of bright flame surrounds you, an eclipse above as something comes tumbling down and lands in front of you with a THUD, revealing themselves to be a giant fire like beast.

Or maybe, it's earth that you find yourself in. Deep within the depths of a mountain more than likely as you stand on a platform of yellow crystal and rock high above the surface. This might be a memory but you don't want to really see what happens if you decide to jump off. Spoilers, it's not good. Nor is the creature towering over you.

But there is a third option that you may find yourselves in: stuck in the middle of a cyclone with nothing but four stone pillars and a cackling bird woman lording above you. Easy to tell that this crazy bitch's element is wind.

No matter which you see, it seems that their attacks go right through you. After all, you are only witnessing a memory of someone's past. There's others who are taking the battle to the beasts but one is much more clearer than the rest: a young woman is with them. If she seems familiar to some, this is a time before she had picked up her greatsword, when she was still learning the ropes of adventuring.

And the fights are going to happen. But are you the only spectator around? Or perhaps you see the current version of Mira nearby, slack jawed by the idea of what exactly is happening.]

Edited 2020-04-07 16:54 (UTC)

[You blink and suddenly you stand in the middle of a street with various stalls lined along the way. The hustle and bustle of the port city of Kugane is a dull roar as the focus comes to a miqo'te woman and...is that a small catfish with legs with her? Both are standing outside a door and excited for something to happen. But a familiar voice rings through:]

I'm not coming out! Where's my actual clothes?

[It sounds like Mira but very annoyed at the same time.]

I've hidden them! Get out here, I wanna see your new look!

No!

[The catwoman pouts and folds her arms.]

Honestly, I spent good coin to get you that outfit and hairstyle, the least you can do is show it off.

I recall not getting a say in this!

If you don't come out, I'm pulling you out!

[There's nothing but silence for a minute and Mira groans. She mutters something about looking too fancy and feeling awkward as the door slides open, revealing Mira and what exactly has gotten her so bothered. Clutching her arm tightly and looking away while her friend claps and the weird catfish creatures jumps from side to side.]

I really don't see why I need this, Tala. Shouldn't you save your money instead of spending it on things like this? It's not really needed.

[Tala groans and puts her hands on her hips.]

Look, I know it's hard to break out of that poor person mindset but even the Warrior of Light deserves something nice other than books and boots.

[The two women speak while the present day Mira simply stands by and pinches the bridge of her nose. Of course this memory had to play and show off how much she isn't a fan of dressing so...ugh.]

[It's a blazing hot day in the Sagoli Desert and two women can be seen: one is a younger looking Mira and the other is a miqo'te woman panicked by seeing several undead men surrounding them. Her arms flail and her face is twisted in fear while Mira herself keeps herself guarded. And then a voice calls out:]

My brothers, lend me your ears! A gentleman does not dine on his guests!

[Everyone looks up and sees a tall hyuran man balancing on the spire tip.]

Spare these two ladies your mastications. Withdraw I say, and harass them no more!

[Meanwhile, a bit away from the group, the current Mira can't help but try and keep down a giggle. Being a spectator in her own memories and seeing this one can't help but bring a smile to her face.]

And here is where my sanity went to die. Dammit Hildibrand, only you.

[The scene plays as the miqo'te declares the man as 'inspector' and the zombies disperse, Mira turning to whoever is with her right now.]

What you are about to see might scare you but rest assure that he's tougher than he looks.

[Her eyes scan back to the scene as a talk begins and the miqo'te tries to explain that the man is not dead with words. She doesn't look discouraged in the slightest despite it.]

Oh Inspector, you're just confused is all. Don't worry--I'll knock some sense back into that noggin of yours!

[Her arms will behind her back and she pulls out two very large orbs with a string on the top of each. Hold on, are those...bombs?]

St-Stay your hand, m'lady. You know not what you do...

[She doesn't listen as the fuses light up themselves and she grins from ear to ear. He tries to convince her not to use such force, that it could cause him more harm but does she listen?

Considering she just hurls the bombs at him, the answer is no. All he could do is look on in horror and embrace his fate as the bombs explode. Welcome to case solving with Hildibrand.]

[The memory begins with Mira waking up in the middle of the night. Her eyes snap open and she sits in bed, clutching her chest and taking a deep breath. Breezy rolls off and yowls in concern but her owner doesn't pay attention to it. Raking any stray hairs from her face, she gasps out.]

Seven hells, what was that?

[It's her room within House Darkness, which says to the viewer that the memory is a recent one. Taking a deep breath, she kicks off the covers and wobbly stands on her feet. But there's something deep within her that feels completely wrong. Something is missing and it's making her feel so much pain right now. She closes her eyes and tries to focus on what is causing the issue; certainly not any physical means but what about her Bonds? She can feel Irhya but...that empty feeling from her other Bond...what the hell is going on?]

Hades...?

[There's a panic in the air as the scene shifts to the streets of Aefenglom, people putting up posters and cleaning up from the fires, giving him a certain time when this is taking place: during the time of the Rathmore kidnappings. Clad in her armor, Mira searches the town and questions people at all times of the day, unable to seemingly rest. And yet her thoughts echo:

'Where...? Where...?'

'Where are...'

The thoughts bounce around and become muddled, sounding like two people trying to overtalk the other and the message getting lost in the abyss that is Mira's mind. But they linger like spice on the tongue, always seemingly there as the memory of the dark knight runs through the area, searching for any clues. Any that can lead to the missing victims...

'Where...? Where...?'

Like a ticking, never leaving.

It's during one of these moments that the Mira in the dream runs into a friend, he may know who Marie is due to the Valentione's celebration but it sounds like they knew each other before then.]

Mira! Were you able to find out something?

[The memory Mira shakes her head.]

Nothing yet. I am trying to see if there is anything out of place...but what about you?

Nothing as of now. I have been searching, asking others but there’s nothing I have been able to find out. My Bonds also are not helping - I am unable to track down Amadeus using it. Well, whoever is responsible must have prepared for this... Is it the same for you with your Bonds?

[It's when her hand goes over her heart at the mention of Bonds that the pain grows. It hurts so much that it's hard for Mira to focus.

'Where...? Where...?']

One of them is still here. The other one unfortunately has disappeared like the others.

[But Marie takes notice of Mira's gesture and immediately addresses it:]

I am sorry to hear that...Mira, are you hurt somewhere?

[Shite.]

Do not worry. I am sure that something, any kind of clue shall turn up soon and they will be back with us before long.

[The blonde's words attempt to soothe the dark knight but they have no effect. She pretends to be fine but it's far from it. She's not fine. It feels like a part of her is missing and it makes Mira unsure what to do and try to not lose herself. Why does she feel this way? What exactly happened to their Bond that makes it so?]

I'm fine, no need to worry. [Another lie.] I do hope you are right. Even a day is too much for this.

[Even though the memory continues on, there's another form that has been watching the same scene with arms folded and eyes half open, solemn in her thoughts. It's not a trick of the mirrors; it is the actual Mira watching as she can't help but put her hand over her heart like her counterpart. This obviously means a lot to her...but why?]

[Finding Mira's mirror had been easy, and Emet-Selch wondered if it was because they were Bonded, that he felt more drawn to it than he would a stranger's? And he'd felt no hesitation when it came to using it; Mira's life was his to observe, and he wondered what bit the mirror would deign to show him. Something from her childhood, perhaps? That would be amusing, and he wondered as well how the mirror decided on its contents....

But this was not a Mira from a distant time; her appearance was quite familiar to him, as was this room. This was relatively recent history, apparently. But when? And why? Emet-Selch had the impression that these mirrors only showed memories that were of some importance; this distress wasn't just a random nightmare. And then, the sound of his name....

When the scene shifts, it doesn't take Emet-Selch any longer to discern the when: this was during his captivity, the other side of those events. What Mira, at least, had been doing during that time.

A lot, apparently. While in considerable discomfort; that had been, at least, the one thing the Ascian had been 'spared.' He'd barely been able to feel the existence of his Bonds at all, during that time. Had wondered, occasionally, on what they'd been up to. How long it had taken them to notice he was gone, what sort of token efforts they might go to in order to find all those who were missing (and incidentally himself). As time went on, as his injuries increased, so did his cynicism; why would they look for someone they'd already murdered? They were enemies, after all; nothing would change that. Perhaps they were pleased to be rid of him, of the reminder his presence brought.

...And yet here Mira was, pained and searching. Emet-Selch looks slightly disconcerted as he watches, arms crossed, as though closing himself off from this new information. Not wanting to believe it, not wanting to--

--Two Miras? No, one was the real Mira- or rather, the current Mira. And the Ascian is torn between observation and approach. Observation of both of her- as the woman's expression made it clear that this was something of an important memory to her. An important series of memories, even.

In the end, he does step over to her, while keeping an eye on the scene playing out (gods, seriously why did he still only have one working eye, even in a dream). He doesn't say anything, though, only stands next to her.]

[There doesn't appear to be any physical recognition from the actual Mira to his presence, keeping on looking ahead at the scene before them. But there is a faint brush against their tether from her end. Why she doesn't speak is a simple reason: what would be seen will explain it more than she could at the moment. And the memory continues on between the two women.]

Are you sure? Do not overexert yourself. We will all need the strength to search for our loved ones, wherever they are. I wonder how it is done, this Bond breaking... Have you heard anything about such magic?

[Even then, there were those who were telling Mira to take care of herself. But unlike what she knows now and how it does impact those who care about her, she didn't listen. It didn't matter about her health back then but those who needed it.

'Where...?'

'Where are...?'

'Where is he?']

No, I haven't. Besides, this isn't the worst I've felt. I can still continue on.

[She's a terrible liar but she thought she could handle it. While she did have much worse pains such as holding in too much tainted light, whatever this Bond smothering or cracking or breaking thing is, Mira hates it. She's wondered why it's being affecting her more than the rest; a lot of people have been affected and feel pain more than likely but why was her's much more intense? Why was it that this bond that makes her feel this way? Could it be due to that time where they shared and looped emotions, fed them to each other?

Was it because she had felt something positive come from him, even if small?]

Just because you can does not mean you should. I know you are worried but... Can you promise me that you will take a break when needed?

If it is needed then I will try. But I do not do well in situations where I must wait.

[Stubborn no matter what. Marie is right on needing to rest but Mira refuses to do it; the less she's out there, the further and further those gone will be. And while her instinct is to say 'save everyone', there's a much bigger stake than the common good. People she knew were taken, including one she cares for. How could she stop? Even at her words, Marie simply looks worried.]

Alright then. Just do not self destruct while trying. I am sure they would not have wanted that for you. The people you live with. Including Vanitas, of course.

[Telling a dark knight to not self destruct when it came to their own value. That's an odd joke. Mira never intended to worry herself sick or work to the point of collapse but that's for another time. But this is the beginning of that streak where she couldn't sleep and pushing herself to help anyone who needed it came from.]

I'm hard to do that to so it'll be fine. I won't try to worry them but I fear they also are feeling it too; it is one of our housemates that has vanished.

[Mira never kept who she Bonded with a secret, it's always been a matter of no one asking. With the exception of the Exarch because she still is leery about telling the man that she has gotten close to the 'enemy' even if she sees him less of it. But this is one of those rare moments where she does speak up. Just by the tone in her voice and how Marie reacts by taking the woman's hand in her own, it's important to Mira.]

Ah... I am so sorry to hear that, but I am sure we will find everyone before long. Who is it? If it is something you want to talk about...

[And even if it's a small matter, Mira does.]

I do not think you have met him possibly; he tends to keep quiet. But there were some occasions that brought him out. A tall man with golden eyes and a white stripe of hair that constracted with the rest of his color.

[It's from there that the memory grows dark, fading into the black as another one forms before the two's eyes. It's a smaller one compared to the conversation prior but it must mean something to the woman standing there. It's during a time when Mira is investigating that she runs into a small bat. At the time, she didn't know it was Irhya and it may seem out of place but it's what happened next that could give a better understanding: the fact that Mira looks greatly concerned and worried, and Irhya chirps and rubs her cheek to try and calm her. A small moment but meaningful after the fact.

The memory is gone just as it arrives and the next one shows The Coven and how they were trying to find the people missing. Many witches were using some form of scrying and the two can see that Mira is among them. She's never done much or this kind of tracking but she's willing to try.

'Where...?'

But it goes wrong. Everyone who tries this gets massive headaches and have to take potions to cure them before needing to rest. But Mira didn't take that advice. Unlike the previous memories where she was concerned, this one showed how frantic she had become. Every failed attempt to find him, she takes a potion and went right back to it. Over and over again. She can work through pain and this is nothing. She could take it.

It doesn't stop the screaming though.

Combining the massive migraines and the pain from the Bond, it was a surprise that she didn't pass out right then and there. Mira refuses to give up and goes against the concerns of the witches there. They tell her to rest, that they will take care of it but she refuses more.]

You spoke of needing others to help! I can still try! Please, let me help!

[She has to do something. She can't sit idly by when others needed help. When Hades was still out there.

'Where is he?!'

She still keeps going. She still keeps moving, feeling the pain begin to take over but refuses to give up. It's a surprise to hear her speak in a calmer tone but it's not the memory who does; it's the viewer.]

...remember when I asked if you wanted to have an idea what it was like while you were gone through my perspective? While not intentional, this can do more than what words and feelings can.

Why?

[A short word, a low tone, said even while the scene is ongoing. And how it keeps going, getting worse and worse, the concern growing ever more desperate, more frantic. As though any pause would be letting him down somehow, would be reducing his chance for survival. As though any break would leave her responsible for his death- that was the feeling Emet-Selch was getting from all this.

His hackles were up; he wanted to turn away from it, for all that he'd still be able to see it. He shuts off his side of the Bond, blocking Mira out- though that in itself is a sign of his unease. Discomfort. But he can't block out the words.

Instead he focuses his gaze on the current Mira, tone sharp, heated.]

We're still enemies, you might recall- were this our star, you--

[She would kill him.

But this was not their star. It couldn't be. They weren't enemies here, he knew that. But it was something Emet-Selch kept returning to, couldn't forget; either as a means of defense, or to remind himself of the futility of it all--

It meant nothing, didn't it?]

Unless you've forgiven all that I've done? All that I would continue to do, were I still alive in your time?

[This was an absurd amount of effort. Gods, he can still hear the screaming; a sound he wanted to be indifferent to, to close off from, but he couldn't. This was- far more pain to devote towards finding someone who was just a casual acquaintance or someone merely tolerated.]

So- why, Mira?

This isn't our star, let alone the same timeline.

[It's easy to get angry at the words, the tone of how they're spoken. She doesn't need a reminder that they are on opposite sides when she does that every day already. That she should not have these kind of feelings for what most would call a monster. If they define the term by means of killing, then she too would be one, it matters not the reasoning.

She has to live with the fact that she struck down a version of Hades too. A version of him but not the one standing before her. One who did not go through what the others had...was there still hope left for one? Stupid to ask given that her thing is usually living in reality but if there was a way...?

Was what they had discussed that night even possible?

It's hard to focus between his questioning and the memory of her trying to find more ways to help, getting more frantic and snippy at others along the way. There's a faint shouting of the memory version of herself telling a Coven witch to teach her how to make potions to help others, otherwise she will go out there and search by herself. Knowing full well that it was dangerous.]

I need no reminder of what we were before this place. But we are not enemies here. If anything, you would be the first person I would go to to speak on matters. Have you ever wondered why?

[Did she need to spell it out for him? Why was it that this Warrior gravitated towards him? It certainly wasn't the angle of a lost soul that needs saving.]

Because I rather hear the truth than to be coddled and you certainly do not do the last one. When you tell me how incredibly stupid I've been when I indeed did the very stupid thing, I'm grateful because it gives me something to look back and work on. You don't hide the truth like some I know of. It might be easier because of the fear of hurting someone or that you care but speaking your mind is why I am still here with you.

[Can she forgive his sins? All the pain he's caused to everyone she knows and cares about?

"Do not seek forgiveness, for it will not ease the burden. It weighs as it should."

She doubts he would let her. It's not him.]

I've told you that I care about you. But ever since we talked before you were taken, they've been hard to describe. I've never felt such intensity, not with anyone...not until you. And they haven't gone away. They won't leave.

[She knows what she has to do, her mind is telling her to do the same but...was it a good idea? When he's closed himself to her? She may love him but...did he feel the same? Did he ever?]

I've...had them for awhile. Just unsure of the words to put them in.

[His eyes narrow, tone chilling. For all that this was a topic that needed to be addressed, Emet-Selch certainly wasn't going to handle it well.]

So you've found a bit of use for me after all? You might've considered that sooner in your own time. Or did the Ascian of your star not warrant such intervention?

[There had been nothing to suggest that the Emet-Selch of Mira's version of events was different than himself; it wasn't like those Warriors who, for whatever reason, varied in form and background. All others were the same.

He didn't seek forgiveness. He'd done nothing that requires forgiving, in his eyes. What suffering he'd wrought had been justified; the lives he'd claimed were lower than that of vermin. Emet-Selch felt no shred of guilt nor regret for anything he'd done.]

So you value me here. So you listen to me here.

What should it matter to me that now, when it's finally convenient to you, you're willing to take advantage of my advice? Who does that save, other than yourself? Or- [As his tone turns a mocking cant.] are these not the truths you mean? Would you prefer I keep to the ones that involve your betterment?

[It was a pointless argument to have. These weren't things she could ever 'atone' for, because no matter her action, he would find a way to curse it. No, the problem was the same as ever:

This was transitory.]

Blissfully, you'll return to your star, unaware of anything you've learned. That is, if you have learned anything. Perhaps how to feel better about what you've done? How grateful am I to be a part of your temporary ascendance. Yes, here you're free to consort with as many villains as you choose, without consequence. So free in fact that you think you've--

[He can't say it. Can barely even think it, his breath escaping in a hiss as he turns aside. Agitated, furious and hurt; enough so that he has a hard time suppressing it all by way of Bond.]

Whatever you think you're feeling, I want no part of it.

[She cared, genuinely, and that was the worst. It was cruel, futile; she wouldn't change his fate, even if she could. That she'd choose to inflict him with this on top of it--

That he would be at all affected by it--

His gaze is a cold flash, but his tone is precise, words even.]

Whatever lies you tell yourself, you'll always be Her weapon.

...when I had a question about you before, you answered. There was no hesitation. You were among a few who did give a straight answer.

[Every chance she had, she asked. It was simply the duty that kept coming along. For both of them it seemed.]

There was never much time. Either you shooed me away to go fight a Lightwarden or left to have me go about my work. I wouldn't know if the version of you in my time would give it because it seemed no one did. All anyone cared was returning the night. No one asked what else it would take despite you saying that it wasn't as simple. Those who knew more about didn't bother to say a damn thing and thought it would be kinder for me to be a beacon of hope and not know about the truth. It's bullshite, that I have no doubt.

[She's trying to keep her feelings in check, to counter the anger she feels against his own. The memory in the background seems to have vanished, leaving the two in nothing but darkness as Mira tries to keep her ground. That through all his painful words, she would take them. She would learn from them, grow from them. That's what she had done so far.]

You really think I want to be this grand hero? To be put upon a pedestal and fawned over like a god? I can give two shites less about it to be frank. So much that I wish to seek a path where I am known for me, not as my title.

[Even with holding back on her Bond, that small feeling from before peeks out. That small positive feeling that she was afraid to let out. The one thing she kept trying to hold in until the time was right but given everything and the sleeping sickness, her mind was screaming at her to say it. If Fray were here, she'd shake her. But it's his final words that ring the most with her. What her feelings are, he wants nothing to do with. That small feeling is still there even after the cruel words the ascian throws at her. She had expected this. There's no way he could ever love her in return, she had the idea but it's the other words that feel like a dagger to her heart.]

Always a weapon, hmm? Was that a lie you wished to tell me to soothe?

And so you would convince me you're blameless in this... is that it? That you had no choice? That you never wanted to be a hero?

[Dangerously idle of a tone, but Emet-Selch can feel that unwanted feeling lurking, and this time he's in no mood to accept it. It almost looks like he wants to recoil physically from it, but holds back. His low voice turns harsh again, snapping.]

All you did was be led around, putting all to the sword as demanded of you! And with your new knowledge now, what has changed? Would you not do so again- there's millions of mortals at stake, you know... and my people as well. Are you saying you wouldn't go through it all again?

[There is no right answer to this question, it's an absolute trap.]

Do you think you've become less of a weapon by being made aware of it? You've certainly done nothing to convince me otherwise. You know how others have used you... but what have you done with that knowledge? Were She here, would you repudiate your goddess? Or would you continue on the path She and all others have set for you?

[A small, humorless sort of sound, the words that follow slow and dismissive.]

Not that your answer matters here.

[Nothing here would carry back. So what was the point in trying? On pretending that there was anything to be gained in this show of 'friendship'? That it was possible to learn or grow or make amends? Nothing that meant anything would change.

So long as it wasn't addressed- that she felt so strongly, so truly- it was easy to move from one day to the next. A useless, unhappy idling, but a peaceful enough one. He refused to look back on any of those moments, on any of those small, thoughtful gestures Mira or anyone else had provided him. What purpose did any of it have here? Had he never learned to stop being this weak...?

The sooner this coma would take him, the better.]

The person who originally possessed your soul wanted nothing to do with Her. How satisfied Hydaelyn must have been to finally get Her claws on even a portion of it.

Not at all. I never asked and I'll own up to that. Should have if I'm honest.

[She would have said 'you can't change the past' but that's a lie to be honest. It was possible even if Mira couldn't put her finger on the hows. That's how the Exarch did it, Alexander could control time with stopping and slowing down so it's not impossible. Could it? And by gods, she has been planning to speak to the man about his terrible plan but she never saw an opportunity nor a good way to bring it up.

You know, without going down to base instincts of hurt. The same kind of hurt she's feeling here and now. The situations matter not and there's that part of her that says that she cannot save both despite everyone telling her that she needs to, that she feels like she can and should. That she should forsake no one because that's her thing, to want to protect everyone.]

If my answer doesn't matter to you, why did you ask?

[Of course he would be dismissive. Of course he would lock away his side like a child throwing an tantrum while memories of her anguish in trying to find him were playing. Or on pause at the moment. Of course he would lash out to see an enemy run head first into danger. His words, razor sharp seem to hit their mark as Mira grits her teeth, trying to not let the anger and sadness overtake her. And yet, those thoughts stay.

He was never wrong before, what makes this different?

Was she just something to be used by everyone? G'raha? Hades? The Scions? Hydaelyn?

Is this her lot in life? Could she not change her fate?

...is this all that is left? Was her love for him a lie?]

Edited (wow wording wtf) 2020-04-10 01:46 (UTC)

[And then, a lone thought deep within:

'You honestly believe that shite he's spouting?'

In her stupor of feeling this bout of sorrow, to hear Hades throw every barb he can against her, to break her down and make her feel so inferior because of these emotions she has for him, she speaks to her. Not Fray, no Myste, not Esteem, but herself. She knows that despite the hurt her soul feels, there's something wrong with it all. Why lash out now? His words...they're wrong. And not just in the means of accusation but how cold he's become. When did this change? How did he get from warm touches and embraces to throwing all the words he had said to make her think more on the world around her to change into his own weapon?

'For someone who speaks the truth, isn't it odd that some of his words contradict? Don't give him an ilm, even if you love him.'

It's time to start listening to herself more often, instincts are usually right. Ascian or not, love or not, Mira will not be able to do anything if she simply took the hits and did nothing in return.

'If you believe in this...fight for it.']

Wouldn't know what She would want. Damn woman barely says anything to me and keeps in the dark just like the lot. It's when incidents happen and it becomes too late that revelations show up. How very convenient of Her. It's thanks to you that I can't seem to trust her words blindly and yet I must ponder on something.

[Her hands bunch into fists as she tries to keep her feelings in check. 'If you believe in this...fight.']

You speak of my lies and I am fully willing to work on them. But what about yours?

Edited (ok, i think that's the last spelling issue @@) 2020-04-10 03:39 (UTC)

[If he knew that she thought of it all as childish, reducing his emotions to that- well. It would be a difficult thing to come back from. It would demonstrate a complete lack of understanding, much less anything when it came to empathy.

Even as it is--]

You've trusted Her this far. How convenient for you to change your song now, to question Her now. For what good it does us.

[Why had he asked? For rhetorical reasons, he supposed. To hear any answer as another thing to use against her. She couldn't change what she'd done, the choices she'd made--

Neither of them could. So what was the point in pretending they were anything other than what they were?]

Yes, work on whatever you like- I don't care.

[A short, dismissive wave, as he crosses his arms; though the anger is all there, right beneath the surface, it has a shell of detachment, of boredom. Of being removed from all this, where it couldn't affect him- looking down on Mira for what she was.

A broken fragment, nothing more. One that had destroyed all hope for his people's revival, and thought a bit of sentiment would make up for that. ...Perhaps he'd resented it all along, but hadn't known any of these heroes well enough for it to come into conflict. Or was it Mira's particular brand of self-righteousness that was getting to him?

Whatever it was, it chilled him further.]

What do you think I've lied to you about? As always, you'll receive nothing but the truth from me. Or have you decided I speak false, now that you don't like the answer?

...did you ever care about me?

[A simple question but a weighty one.]

Did I ever mean anything to you?

[The fact that he's seeing part of her reasoning in front of him. But now she can't help but look back at everything that has happened between them: from sharing stories from their worlds to the masquerade and even further, the first moment of feeling something different than anything else she had ever felt. Were those words of caring from moons ago the truth or a way to placate her? Were those feelings shared that night when they truly touched each other's souls nothing more than a farce?

Mira knew there was a chance that he would never return her feelings. Too much differences, too much bad blood. And yet...why throw those feelings in her face? Why belittle her for feeling something good around him?

'If you love him, tell him.']

You ask why I went through all of this. All the pain and exhaustion to find one person out of many. Even if you may not like the answer, it still needs to be said. It won't change no matter what else you throw at me but I rather live with the pain of what's to come rather than look back on this with regret. Like I keep saying and it'll more than likely piss you off beyond belief but, you are worth it.

[Pressing her hand over her heart.]

You're worth all the pain and exhaustion and the worry to see you still standing here. For me, my first...it's why I need to tell you.

['I need to say it...before it's too late.']

I did this not out of obligation and the care goes beyond that of comrades. It comes from love.

[She expects the ground to swallow her up or him to unleash a spell to strike her down. But there is no turning back. Mira doesn't expect this to become a faerie tale ending but she would be lying to herself if she didn't.]

Because I've fallen in love with you, Hades. Was all that I felt from you...every single gesture, every single embrace and intimate moment...was all that a lie?

[For the moment, he ignores her first two questions. Everything else, for the moment, took precedence. Even as she was speaking, the Ascian had the sick feeling of what she would conclude with, hoping, with ever greater futility that he would be wrong.

And then came the disappointment. Emet-Selch only stares at her. Breaks the silence with a line.]

And what... did you hope to achieve with that?

[It's calm. Mocking so evenly presented that it borders on pitying. Rather than fury or denial, his look carries nothing but condescension, cold and casually dismissive.]

Did you imagine some gentling on my part, where I would come to my senses, touched by your heartfelt confession...? Beg forgiveness for the cruelty of my words, claim some matching sentiment, restrained only by fear?

[A small, quiet sort of laugh, and though the tilt of his head is almost playful, his gaze is anything but. No, that's still poisonous, wretched in its fury.]

Didn't I just tell you... that I want no part in what you're feeling?

[Thus answered, he feels prepared to return to her first questions, voice settled. He gives a small shrug.]

Perhaps I felt some passing fondness for you. Perhaps I still do, despite all that you are.

[There's a twitch to his hands, but apart from that, his manner is completely steady.]

Why- do you think you're worth more than that from me?

[Sounds like she disappoints everyone lately. That urge to fight on, to tell him how she feels goes quiet. She did what she had to do and to be honest, she had the feeling he would reject her. A happy ending? Ha, not for her. Never for the Warrior of Light.

Serve...save...slave...slay...

Perhaps that is all that awaits her in the end. No one else had bother to give her love or notice her like that so why would anyone start now?]

Not your type. Expected more chiding and perhaps mentions of how much of an idiot I am for harboring such notions.

[And his words...don't give her hope when you tore her down like that. A fondness then...a plaything?]

Then what is my worth to you?

[Why does he stay Bonded to her if that is the case?]

Why would I say what you already know?

[He's certainly not about to disagree with her idiocy.]

As for your worth....

[Why does he remain Bonded to her, is something he's asking himself as well. He was running himself into the ground for... what? If dual-Witch Bonds were always dangerous... perhaps Mira had been the problem from the start.

His gaze is more calculating in its chill, as though he were measuring her up- and quite obviously finding her wanting.]

I find myself asking the same question.

[He refused to think back on anything they'd experienced- or rather, anything that he did recall was viewed through a different lens. A delusion on his part, a weakness; a frailty he'd thought himself rid of. Every bit of kindness was designed to hurt him. And so desperate he was for understanding that he'd think to accept some shambling corpse of it--

--but then, he'd never convinced his old friend of his viewpoint either. Why did he think it would go any different with this... wreck, this shadow of someone he cared for? Her feelings were shallow, made a mockery of it all. That her love would undo what she was, what she'd done- it was an insult to even consider it.]

Honestly... if you're the one dragging me under- why shouldn't I rid myself of your pretense?

Why haven't you?

[It's quiet and yet there's no venom in her tone. She did what she needed to do, to say what was in her heart. That's all she could do. It's all up to him now. His choice.]

You had opportunities when you could have.

[...it was nothing more than a fancy. How foolish of her to believe she is worthy of love of anyone. How dare she dream of something more for her? How dare this man make her believe her more than what she is? She's beginning to see why some prefer the dreams than the waking world...tempting as it may be. But she has her pride. Mira won't go down that path and forsake everything she stands for. But love...? She had closed her mind to the idea, the fact that no one spoke up on it just fueled it.

But she's grateful for the pain. Better to feel it than be numb.]

I certainly do not wish to lose you but it is not my choice in the end. I refuse to make you.

Is it even possible in the middle of a dream like this? Don't tempt me into finding out.

[Because if he did, it would not be through the niceties of getting it properly annulled. No, he'd simply snap it. It would hurt, as it was meant to. It would be raw and terrible and a reminder of something missing, a reminder to not be so careless again.

Why hadn't he considered it sooner? That was a better question, but one Emet-Selch had less of an answer to. Because he hadn't been faced with her feelings, on top of all else? Unable to reconcile their histories with their present, he had coasted along on general good will, refusing to look beneath the surface of it.

She'd said her heart, but what could he make of that?]

But while we're busy confessing things....

[As he'd learned of Mira's actions, her feelings at the worst possible moment- why not share his own recklessness at the same time?]

You've no doubt noticed my fatigue. Sooner or later, I won't rouse at all- if you care to keep me, you'd be wise to hope it happens sooner. I'd thought it to be an overabundance of monsters draining me, but it's witches that are supposed to be incompatible, aren't they? I suppose I should thank you for reminding me where the problem lies...

[A direct stare, neutral, detached. As he veered between heat and chill, this was certainly the latter, a dulled pronouncement.]

I've taken on four Bonds, Mira. Considering the price... is there a reason I should allow you to remain among them?

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